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I'd agree Polly - I didn't/don't particularly want to be treated differently. It's just that our HR suggested to me that I didn't need to have it, just before I left. I could just be scored as 'average' and move on.


Would seem like a good option to take right now given the angst it's causing.

Hi C,

I'm really sorry you're going through this - its obviously on your mind the whole time. I wonder whether having the appraisal would actually be a 'good' thing anyway (as good as it can be in these circumstances). If the appraisal is conducted properly then any concerns (from both sides) will have to be raised and dealt with using the proper process - including being written down and being signed/agreed by both sides. If you opt for an 'average' rating then I fear you are giving your employers an opportunity to avoid transparency. If you are uncomfortable with the appraisal process given what has been said (and you have every reasonable right to be), you could write down your concerns and request that you are accompanied by a person of support who could be a friend or representative during the appraisal.


If you need a coffee/rant I'm around tomorrow xx

Agreed. HR Can be partisan. BUT, then still have a duty to record properly what was said and act on any issues. As long as you're aware that they are not necessarily a 'friend' then you can use the system to get bad management and treatment at least recorded. Good idea to take a chaperone along. You can usually justify this as needing another pair of eyes and ears to listen and write things down, although the danger could be that it is seen as 'escalating' the issue and making it more formal.

just whizzing through these posts. I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a nightmare, it's so stressful to deal with work issues whilst on maternity leave, especially looking after 2 kids at the same time.

I don't know about everyone else but I find it incredibly difficult having conversations with friends to ask their advice without constant interruptions from the children. This forum is such a life line, especially with all the posts from the H.R mums who can help the rest of us understand the whole H.R thing.

i had few issues with my employer before I went back to work, perhaps not as bad as your situation, but it was stressful at the time. But one thing i would say is that it's so much easier to deal with all this stuff once you're back at your desk. Those keeping in touch days are such a con! they didn't work for me. I spent ages organising childcare and on the actual days it was information overload! I then spent several days and nights afterwards worrying about all the stuff that was said, and little or no time to follow up on anything because you're back on duty again as fulltime mum. all that for a few quid. If I were you I'd postpone dealing with all your grievances until you're officially back on the payroll. I did, it was much easier.

also my own H.R department are not to be trusted, we have a union though. My advice would be to proceed with caution, the advice you get from this forum is likely to be more helpful, especially the advice from the mums who work in H.R.

And on appraisals, I'm sure appraisal procedures vary from place to place but when I went back following maternity leave I wasn't given one retrospectively (how could they, I wasn't there) instead my boss gave me a 'mini-appraisal' (her words) set my objectives going forward and I was automatically awarded an incremental rise on my salary because I couldn't be judged on the previous years performance.

I really hope you can put this out of your mind until you go back and enjoy the rest of your maternity leave and the lovely sunny weather. I dreaded returning to work, I think lots of us do, but it's fine once your back. I really hope you will find some enjoyment going back. think positive, maybe your boss will get the sack! No .... think positive, you can wear high heals and read a book on the train and earn money!

good luck

etc etc

Aww - thanks for all the fab advice and thoughts everyone. I'm feeling much more positive about going back - GB stiff upper lip my Dad would say. And after yesterday's budget I'd say keeping the one I've got is def preferable to looking for a new job.


We're c.?600 per year worse off according to the Beeb's budget calculator ;-(

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