what age did baby go in their OWN room?

[duchessofdulwich]

hi thanks for all the responses. sounds like my probs are similar to others i jump on her at the slightest stirring as i dont want her to wake up hubby. baby duchess also has a dummy and end up putting it back in all night long :::yawn:::.

apparently most other countries dont put their little ones into a seperate room for at least the first year

[BellendenBear]

HeidiHi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Jollybaby

>

> It says on here that:

> 75 percent of babies died in a room without an

> adult in it, hence the advice to have baby in a

> room with you for the first six months among other

> things.

It also says that the majority of those babies were sleeping on their back or side so they were unable to say for sure whether sleeping in a different room was an independant risk factor.

To answer the question, we moved baby into own room at 8 weeks and wished we'd done so earlier. Like others have said, I was responding to every stir by feeding her so she never self-settled. After moving to own room I never had to feed more than once per night and within 2 weeks she was sleeping til 7am most night. It's a personal choice and you have to do what you are most comfortable with. Own room was definitely best for all of us.

>

> http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/cotdeathday

> timenaps/

[linzkg]

I'd also like to know what other factors led to those (very unfortunate) early dea.. [don't even want to say the word!] other then the fact that there wasn't an adult in the room..?! Anyway, recently on BBC breakfast they had discussions on this topic and these stats apparently don't mention that the bubs also came from smoke filled homes, or where parents had been drinking and actually fell asleep next to them and rolled over .. anyway we don't need the gory details.

I'm personally quite happy that my son is in a safe and healthy environment even if he's in his own room and from very young (though if I had a super king size bed I'd love nothing more then for him to share with us for as long as he wanted ;-)

[The Nappy Lady]

Hey Linzkg,

Yes, I'm so with you on this - would love to sleep with mine, but it is only now my eldest is nearly 6 that there is any hope of the two of us sleeping in one bed - as she's finally stopped wriggling etc. all night long. The odd time her Dad is away she comes in with me for a treat and we both love it.

Was thinking more about the advice on keeping a baby in your room with you until 6 months old, like others, I just found it mega stressful because of trying to give my hubby a good nights sleep so he could work the next day. But also, if you put them down at 7pm and don't go to bed until midnight (as I often do), then they would be alone in the room for 5 hours, then in the room with you for 5 hours....so it is 50/50 anyway....just an interesting thought.

M

[littleEDfamily]

We've come full circle. After being really quite strict (except when sick or genuinely upset) about getting her to stay in her own bed, I now really enjoy her sleeping with us - she sneaks in often and it's lovely (we have a superking bed, which is an absolute essential in my opinion, even if there is no room in the room for anything else!). But a gurgling, snuffling, crying baby, and a toddler who uses her head as a wrecking ball were quite different scenarios, so for those months keeping her in with us would have been tantamount to a nervous breakdown.

I wonder if we will be any different with our second...

Question - my dad (slightly neurotic generally) is convinced that it is not safe to have a baby share a room with a preschooler. When pushed for details, he basically believes that the preschooler will 'experiment' with the baby (eg put marbles up her nose, poke her with sticks - all things I have made up of course, as I really can't think of what the dangers may be). Am I being naive, and does grandpa have a point?

Would be interested to hear what those if you with more than one have done in terms of room sharing......

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

BellendenBear, I did put 'among other ' to let people know that other factors can contribute to cot death, but for others who are interested it can overheating, sleeping on tummy, there is a higher rate of cot death for underweight babies, boys, and those to mothers under the age of 20. I know of someone whose baby died in her arms whilst she went shopping and he was just 8 days old, it is just one of those things. I think for my peace of mind, because the first six months is when it usually happens, I prefer my son near to me but then I am breastfeeding also so it makes sense for him to be next to me.

With regards to children sharing a room,I have known of a few toddlers tormenting their baby sibling. My second cousin heard crying and a strange noise from her children bedroom, when she went in, her little boy had buried his baby brother under lots of nappies and was standing by the cot looking very guilty!

My mum said my brother was horrible to me and used to twist my arms etc. I guess if the sibling is jealous, they could be a bit mean. Personally I would not trust a younger child to share with a baby, I know with my son that the little ones can get overexcited and though they are trying to help him, they end up making him cry by attempting to pick him up and by being helpful but as they are little themselves it does not go down well!

[linzkg]

LittleRDfamily - hmmm, interesting thought .. I hadn't really given it too much thought just yet, but am going to wait until 2 number (hopefully) comes along. I am hoping that it naturally falls into sink and that my son has a good nature and its all good. I have many friends with young kids who share a room and they're just fine and not heard any such stories - but its definitely something to think about!!

We are very keen to get a huge bad but will probably have to wait until we get a bigger house as it has to be 4 poster too you see ;-) Unfortunately my son just doesn't even settle into the night if my hubby is away unless he's ill then he snuggles. Our sleeping arrangement works very well for us as we all get a great night sleep - hubby needs to get sleep (got illness that comes on due to lack of) bub gets a great sleep (he was a big boy and definitely likes to make use of all of the space in his cot) and I get sleep and keep sane without stressing. His room is right next to ours so I hear everything and regardless, I feel completely in sink with him.

(And he sleeps on his tummy .. oh dear .. maybe I'm going to hel!)

But its all about personal preference isn't it - unless of coz there's research to back it up.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

My son sleeps on his tummy too, he has done from very young as it was the only way I could get some sleep in between the constant feeding.

[sillywoman]

Well - there is research, and the government/ FSIDs recommendations are based on that research. As you illustrate beautifully though Linzkg research is made up of individual cases and those for whom the recommendations don't work might be inclined to extrapolate the differences between some of the cases on which the research is based and their own situation in order to reassure themselves that the research doesn't apply to them (e.g. actually only a small number of the babies who died in the fsids research came from homes where one or more adults had been smoking in the previous 24hours rather than them all coming from 'smoke filled homes' and a similar number for those in homes where the primary carer had been drinking).

Ultimately of course - as with all parenting - it's up to each individual family to do what suits them. Luckily we don't yet live in a society where the baby-police will come to your house to tick you off if you don't choose to follow the guidelines. They are research based though so don't deserve to be totally dismissed, and are there to give 'average british baby' the safest start in life. The fact that no one actually has 'the average British baby' is wonderfully illustrated by the many varied replied to the OP on this forum.

edited to add: one of mine was a tummy sleeper too. Also my two eldest shared a room from the ages of about 6 months and 24 months. Then later their other brother went in with them too when he was about 5 months. They had a lovely time, never woke each other with their night crying (and they did still wake once or twice a night - one of them even more -at that age), even when ill. In fact they entertained each other in the mornings and meant we could sleep later. I took the view that generations of children have been sharing beds/ rooms/ pallets whatever for aeons, why on earth would I imagine anything untoward would happen? Also, we had another room, so if it hadn't worked we could have moved them. They all 3 shared for a long time (about 5 years) and my youngest two are sharing still.

[The Nappy Lady]

My eldest is mad keen to share with her little sister, but until C is sleeping better I just don't want to risk my older one having disturbed nights - given that she sleeps for a good 1 to 1.5 hours longer in the mornings than her sister and that she is at school now so I really think she needs her sleep.

I just wish C would 'get with the programme' and accept that anything between 5 and 6.30am is NOT MORNING!!!!

Arrgggghhhh!

Molly

[njc97]

Us - son went into his own room at about 6 months, and once we stopped night feed would then sleep through fine.

Up until about 1 year, when thanks to a bad (from sleeping pov) holiday and teething he now wakes up around midnight every night and then sleeps between us. Now aged almost 20 months and not getting any better at staying in his bed, but we now sleep so well with 3 in the bed that we gave up worrying.

[EmmaG]

We put ours into her own room at three months (rather than the recommended six) as she was lashing her legs about and keeping us up all night. Despite being in her own cot, in her own room at three months, she hasn't died of SIDS.

BTW when I mentioned to the GP the lashing legs she said "is the baby awake during these episodes?" to which I replied, "no" whereupon said GP said, "oh for God's sake, put her in her own room and get some sleep. We banished ours at six weeks or else I'd have gone mad ..."