Table manners questioned in my own home

[Louisa]

I like tv when I'm eating or radio at least. Can't bare being sat in silence with Mr Louisa eating, puts me off my food. Again, when it comes to dinner time it all depends on my mood, sometimes I'll just have a sandwich if I'm not overly hungry.

Louisa.

[KidKruger]

Burbage: "Although it's not clear from your prose, I'd hazard a guess as this being a household where Pa traditionally gets fed first"

ha ha this is how it was in my house for Sunday lunch every week. My Dad (Yorkshire man) got a large plate of Yorkshire pud, which he finished while we sat-up and talked quietly. THEN lunch was served to us all - almost as if my Dad had had a starter. 'Proper' / loud conversation and banter could then also commence.

[????]

Strikes me Lou that you, your old man and your wider family are all a bit lacking on the manners front

[????]

..but as all good marxists know, manners is just a bourgeois instrument of oppression

[Louisa]

My manners are impeccable lately remember? ;-) hubby is in his own little world most of the time so doesn't really matter either way. My visitors on the other hand must have hand picked their manners straight from the Maidstone school of etiquette.

Louisa.

[Alan Medic]

I'm still wondering what a steamed pudding is. I've googled it, read about it, just never came across it. I find it difficult to imagine in spite of the reading. Who would typically eat it if there is a typical? Most of the sites about it descend into desserts which this obviously wasn't.

[Jeremy]

You know, like a steak and kidney suet pudding. One of my favourites. My wife (damn foreigner) finds them absurd, though.

[Louisa]

Steamed suet pudding as Jeremy says above. Very traditional. Steak and kidney is the best, but muncher beef works just as well, some offal is good too. Usually wrapped up in a cloth casing and steamed over hot water for a good hour or so. Served usually with veg potatoes and gravy.

Louisa.

[Louisa]

Just for you Alan Medic.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1974640/beef-ale-and-parsnip-pudding

Here is a slightly alternate version, but it can be made with meat alternatives too.

Louisa.

[Saffron]

DH makes meat puddings. They're brilliant. Plain flour and suet pastry wrapped around beef (or lamb) with onion and oxo. The whole thing gets sealed in foil and steamed in a pressure cooker. We usually just have them with veg and skip the mash, because he makes them so big.

Lovely as his steamed pud is, he doesn't shine on table manners exactly. Once he was telling off our daughter (3 yrs old) for eating with her fingers... while his own elbows were on the table, chewing with his mouth open, waving his cutlery around. So I did the only decent thing and vigorously admonished him by shaking a green bean at him. Only, I accidentally let go, and it flew across the table and stuck to his forehead.

I despair.

[Jules-and-Boo]

sounds like a lovely family meal :-)

We had dinner at a relatively posh friend's and the garlic from the kiev squirted out onto the wall....

Shock easily became the comedy moment .... as it should have been....

[Alan Medic]

Jeremy Wrote:

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> You know, like a steak and kidney suet pudding.

> One of my favourites. My wife (damn foreigner)

> finds them absurd, though.

That's probably my problem. I'm a damn foreigner too.

[uncleglen]

I forgot the link

http://thegreenparent.co.uk/articles/read/giving-thanks-before-a-meal/

[TheCat]

That you've felt the need to mention that they are 'done good' types...hurts your whole case....

Suck it up, and talk about them on social media while they talk about you....ohh wait....

[FJDGoose]

Maidstone? :)

[adonirum]

Louisa Wrote:

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> Mostly because I wasn't over enthusiastic about

> said gathering, I put minimal effort in to begin

> with. Wasn't being nasty or rude, just couldn't be

> arsed. I would have been happy just sat in the

> garden drinking wine in the sun (or lack of) for

> the evening but this lot are teetotaller's anyway

> so that wasn't on the cards. I honestly did try my

> best to make them feel welcome despite my

> reservations, and I didn't knowingly serve Mr L

> first because of some sort of partriachal status,

> he was just closest to me walking into the room.

> Anything to have a dig with some people it would

> seem. I would never personally put food out to

> help themselves unless it was a Sunday roast or

> Christmas. I try to be as informal as I possibly

> can.

>

> Louisa.

There you go, Louisa, another faux pas right there!!

You should always serve people furthest away from the kitchen.

Not sure why you didn't pretend to be out that day/ had a must keep appointment/ ill with the most contagious condition/ on holiday/ day trip to the moon !!!!!!

[first mate]

Robert Poste's Child Wrote:

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> Not sure about eating steamed pudding, mash and

> gravy with fingers...

Oh nonsense, you just get small amounts of the pudding and/or mash Between your fingertips and roll it into a ball and use this to scoop up the gravy and other bits and bibs and swiftly pop the combo in your mouth Think of eating southern indian dishes where rice is used to scoop up daals etc.., or african polenta based dishes with rich, gravy stews ( some types of polenta being quite like mash). Of course, the host would have to ensure the mash is reasonably thick and stodgy and the gravy is similarly full bodied -think 1950's Bisto.

If you finished off with a real 'old fashioned' milk pudding- school dinners style tapioca or semolina- you could easily eat that with your fingers too.

[Robert Poste's Child]

Not convinced, sorry, and I'm guessing Louisa's guests wouldn't have been keen either.

[first mate]

I agree, I really cannot imagine that Louisa's guests would have been open to this sort of thing at all. However, if Louisa could manage to get Jay Rayner over for supper or dinner (oh no, which is it now) we could trial the art of eating a slap up british meal, using only fingers.

[Louisa]

I am all for a finger buffet first mate. Few egg mayo sandwiches, mini sausage rolls and scotch eggs. Few celery sticks and some dips. But not had one of those since a family funeral in 2007.

Louisa.

[first mate]

Well, if those last guests darken your door again....

[Louisa]

I wouldn't let those lot enjoy one of my nice finger buffet spreads. What a waste of good party food. If they come back again they can drink tea/coffee and watch me drink wine.

Louisa.

[Alan Medic]

What about getting rid of your table? It would remove the whole question of table manners.

[aerie]

O I do love a lateral thinker, ha ha !

[LondonMix]

Supper is equivalent to lunch (light meal but in the evening rather than the afternoon).

Dinner can be anytime of the day as long as its seen as the main most substantial meal. For most of US history, people ate dinner in the early afternoon and men carried 'dinner pales' to work rather than lunch pales.

Main meals in the evening is a rather modern (urban) development, at least in the US.

first mate Wrote:

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> I agree, I really cannot imagine that Louisa's

> guests would have been open to this sort of thing

> at all. However, if Louisa could manage to get Jay

> Rayner over for supper or dinner (oh no, which is

> it now) we could trial the art of eating a slap up

> british meal, using only fingers.