From one to two children - any tips?

[Fuschia]

We have a hige bath, luckily :-)

And agree with Katgod, our twins lived in babygrows and often went out on the school run in their pjs! (Sometimes still do, nothing wrong with getting yourself out and to a playgroup and changing your baby/ies into their proper clothes when you arrive. I found this was a necessity sometimes if I wanted to get to twins club. Just GO!!!!!

[Pickle]

I haven't read this thread properly so apologies if I repeat things already said.

My eldest was 16.5 months old when no. 2 arrived. From day 1 it was as if my daughter just knew that she had to fit in, otherwise Mummy would go insane. A big part of my days involved getting out of the house - Phil 'n' Teds Vibe was a godsend, as was my Hugabub sling (my son couldn't walk for the first 5 months of having 2 children, so at the playground if my daughter was awake I would put her in the sling which left me with hands free to help my son on the slides etc.).

We hit the playgroup circuit with avengence... son could play happily in a contained safe environment, I always made a point of talking to other Mums so that at least they knew me/the kids and could help out if necessary. My daughter first attended the Goose Green playgroup at 8 days old, and went to her first Jane Ruby music class when she was a week old!

Bathtime/bedtime was my biggest fear, I simply couldn't visualise how on earth I was going to deal with 2, especially as I was breastfeeding my daughter and she wouldn't take a bottle. Thankfully Mr Pickle is really good at getting home in time to help, but on the days he didn't:

During son's teatime I would sit and start daughter's feed. Plonked them both in the bath together - daughter would lie on a mat in the bathroom and have a kick about while I washed son, then she had her bath, dried and dressed. Another quick feed while son played with his bathtoys (I used to just perch on the edge of the bath, so if I needed to I could grab him). Then I would put my son in his cot with a selection of his books and soft toys while I went and finished my daughter's feed and put her to bed. Sometimes this took about 15 minutes, sometimes less, but he was always fine. Then a story and bed for son. Phew. Wasn't actually all that bad, but wine and chocolate were always the first thing I did once they were in bed!

Makes me laugh at myself when I think back to life with 1 child - he used to get bathed in expensive organic baby stuff, careful not to get splashed etc etc, whereas daughter started life in a bubble bath surrounded by toys and a brother who thinks it's hilarious (even now) to pour water over her head.

These days it's easy - bath together, story together (although lots of fights over whether it's Thomas or Peppa Pig!), bed.

For our family the biggest adjustment is the fact that really you never get time "off" once you've got 2 children. It's full on, but lovely, and only gets easier as they get older.

Good luck x

[clux]

I have a 2 and a half year age gap between my girls. It was a perfect gap for us as No 1 had just started preschool a couple of mornings a week, was potty trained and was riding her scooter enough to not need a pram and i could make do with a buggy board. All these little things had given her a sense of independence before no 2 came along and I was always careful to involve her and ask her to help out with the baby, and to moan to her when the baby was having a particularly whingey day. She became quite good at rolling her eyes and saying things like "she can't be hungry again already can she?"

Mellors bathtime routine is almost identical to what I used to do, and No 2 was a much better sleeper from quite an early age.

[marscapone]

I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. A couple of things that worked well for us in the daytimes: oldest child watched telly in early days of feeding baby especially when feeding took forever (soon became 'please feed baby again' instead of oh not not feeding again'); baby in sling leaving me more easily able to play with older child; baby slept in pram probably every day and never in basket/cot for first 6 months - every time he needed to sleep I put h)im in pram and went to playground or something that older child wanted to do; groups/playdates great as older child has a great time playing with others allowing you time to spend with baby.

We made a big deal about no. 1 being a big boy, got him a 'big brother' t-shirt, let him choose baby's clothes, got him a bike, new toys etc and really involved him and there has been no real jealousy

Evenings a bit harder but agree with other posters - bathe together from quite early on (although many nights I just bathed one or the other), then older son gets special time to play while I feed and put baby to bed, then rush to put older boy to bed. Second one definitely better at self settling

charlottep - our baby had his first sleep of the evening downstairs in the lounge until about 2 or 3 months when he started sleeping a bit longer before first night-time feed and then we started putting him in the cot at bedtime

[pebbles]

Yup, Mellors bedtime routine exactly the same as ours. We had one of those seat things for no2 to lie down on so although my hands were always near they were also free to fend off too excited toddler. I actually would feed while i was reading no1 stories and then would leave him playing while i put her down and then go back to him for one more story and bed. I found then that if she was crying i didn't have to leave her for too long. Also as feeding took so long it also made me read to no1 for longer which isn't a bad thing!!

A couple of other things that I don't think have been mentioned.

Make sure you have changing mat, nappies and wipes downstairs cos last thing you'll want to be doing when playing with no1 is take no2 upstairs to change her/him during the day. Do everything downstairs.

The other thing i've really found useful is making sure no1 is changed and ready for the day before we go downstairs for breakfast. We used to have brekkie in pjs and then go back up but it just became an absolute battle so a lot easier to go downstairs and start the day!!!

Good luck. In absolute honesty i found being pregnant and dealing with a toddler SOOOOOOOO much worse than dealing with 2 - unless you have an evening like mine when no2 projectile pooed in bath just as no1 was blowing bubbles!!! - then it gets complicated :)

[anna_r]

Very helpful thread...I am due with my second at end of July when my first will be 18 months old and I'vbe been worrying about lots of the same things.

There seem to be a lot of second babies due in the autumn judging by the 'autumn babies' thread but I haven't yet met any mummies having seconds around the same time as me so if anyone is I'd be very keen to meet up? Otherwise perhaps we can be honorary members of the September club? :)

[Bishberro]

This is a great thread and has addressed all the things I'm worried about when my second comes along in 4 weeks. From next week I'm on maternity leave (although I'm keeping my son with his childminder for 3 days) but I would love to meet up with some second time mums due this summer. My son's just turned 2 and we're around Mondays and Tuesdays.

[hkirsop]

anna_r / Bishberro

i am also due with my second in July (27th) and my little boy was 2 in March so similar ages - am also starting maternity leave next weds then on hols for a week but after that will be around all weekdays if you fancy meeting up, and little boy also staying in nursery a couple of days a week. am also new to east dulwich (we moved here from highbury in jan) so keen to meet some local mums!

Hannah

[anna_r]

Hello Hannah,

I'd love to try and get together in a few weeks once you're back from your hols. I start my maternity leave at the beginning of July so will be much more free then...trying to wrap things up at work before I go so only have occasional days off during June but I'm sure we can work something out!

Anna