How to describe the shock of the first 3 months...

[bee74]

I am looking back at those three months after I had my son.

I remember feeling like I had been run over by a train, at high speed. And feeling in shock. And that it was never going to change...

Did you have a similar experience?

How would you descibe it?

Thank you

[Ruth_Baldock]

I remember feeling completley confused and lost, like I was in my own exhausted and exasperated world and that I would never rejoin normal society. My baby is 5 months now and although it's still hard, life has got about a thousand times easier. Just as well really otherwise I would have gone insane.

[sanity girl]

I found the sleep deprivation for the first few weeks very hard to cope with. Even though people kept reassuring me that it would pass, I didn't believe them. Sure enough after 2 months I started getting longer stretches of sleep and then suddenly everything looked so much rosier. By the time my daughter was 3 months it all felt like a piece of cake!

[Trish]

I don't remember much at all! Which says it all really.

[Belle]

like a permanent state of anxiety and exhaustion really, and yes agree about the shock. I just kept thinking 'this is my life now...oh my god!'. But i know others who've had far more positive experiences. atlhough it got easier - other things got harder - but having said that, the anxiety and tension of those early days did go for me.

[womanofdulwich]

I remember thinking why hasn't the human race died out by now!? Why is it soo hard and I must be rubbish at this because everyone else was so stoical.

[snowboarder]

It felt like a level of helplessness and anxiety I had never EVER felt before...

Edited. Think might be being bit melodramatic and might sound alarming to pregnant ladies!!

[Princess]

I second everything Belle said. It was so hard and I thought it'd never change. I thought I'd have a newborn forever! My little one's five months old now and I already really struggle to recall just how hard those early days were. I guess that's the way it works or very few people would have more then one baby.

[Fuschia]

I think this book sums it up

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Mothers-Do-Especially-Nothing/dp/074992490X

[apenn]

Hmm. I had quite a different experience. Certainly there were days when I felt I didn't "get enough done," and days I didn't feel confident in the decisions I was making, but overall I'd say in the beginning I was on a babymoon! I just couldn't get over how perfect he was and how full of love and emotion I was for him. Perhaps that's because I wasn't really gagging to have a baby in the first place, so the wonderment of it all was quite a lovely surprise. I'm pretty sure hormones had a lot to do with it too.

The shocking bit was the sort of "post-trauma" of labour. I had a fairly quick and easy one relatively speaking (and I emphasise the relative bit of that statement), but images of the worst bits of the experience kept flashing though my mind for several weeks afterward - maybe up to about 3 or 4 months. I can't remember now. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

-A

[chantelle]

yes I had a similar experience but it lasted about 8 months. I felt like I was just keeping my head above water to make it through each day and night, though was also incredibly happy to have had my son, which I'd thought impossible. Things got so much better once he was fully on solids (was still BFing 10 times a day at 6-7 months) and then again when he learnt to sleep through the night, around 11 months.

[Pickle]

I found my experience quite the opposite to most of my friends (and most who have posted on here). With both babies I found the first 6 months, dare I say, quite easy. There were the odd days where I contemplated listing them on Ebay, but generally it wasn't too bad. But both times I found from 6 months to about a year old a real challenge. So just as all my friends were emerging from their newborn haze and enjoying themselves I was going the other way.

Thankfully now at 2 and 3 I'm back to the "quite easy" stage (most of the time, I still have Ebay days!) ;-)

[curlykaren]

AAAAAGGGGHHHH, SOB, I NEED SLEEP, snuffle snuffle, where are the muffins??? Is mostly how I found the first 7/8 months. Really can't remember much of it at all, thankfully took lots of photos.

[plimsoul]

sleep deprived boredom, that's how i found it. one long round of feeds, broken sleep and lack of good conversation. but then i never did think that i would love having babies, personally it's all about 2+. sorry, but no blissed out babydom here.

[katgod]

Feel very fortunate that a very close friend described them as the worst three months of her life and gave me such dire warnings that I had really really low expectations. In fact they were so low that I was pleasantly surprised by how it went. My baby did not have colic or any of the things that seem to make it difficult. There were odd days that were tough. I recall a friend cancelling lunch and it seeming like the end of the world, it was vital to have something to look forward to each day, no matter how small. I made sure I went out everyday whatever the weather, and took the view that if this was my new job it was important to take pride in the job and do my very best. The friends I made through hospital ante natal and NCT helped a great deal to make it fun. The kindness and friendliness of neighbours/old ladies on the bus/in shops amazed me-and I liked the slower pace of life. I guess it was a babymoon for me too-weaning and potty training were my dark days.And now with a newborn and older children I don't have time to think about whether it is hard work or not, I just know I am already not looking forward to weaning!!

[littleEDfamily]

I'm with plimsoul. I was a bit disappointed it wasn't more 'blissful'. Found the fact that the only social interaction I had revolved around baby chat quite alienating and tedious (quite enjoy it now, as my love of this forum shows, but at the time, I remember thinking 'please can we just talk about something else, you crazy, dull women!!' (I had an 'easy' baby)). Missed the buzz of work. Quite lonely being at home alone for long periods of time with no one to talk to. But the absolute worst part was learning to live with the constant fear of being interrupted. I still struggle with it.

[Fuschia]

First time round I found it quite lonely and very much a case of planning hard to make it manageable., but child no 1 was very hard work

with the twins i loved it, though there were some very hard bits - esp 6 week summer hols with 1 5 yo and 2 x 4mos!

Can't have been too bad as we're dihg it again (one baby only!)

I do think it's easier if you know what to expect, appreciate it's a fleeting srage you WILL miss and also if you have a cicrle3 of freinds and support and are plugged into mummy things.

I do think if mums on here are suffering they would reach out to others... I often chat to new mums, they prob think I'm weird!

[snowboarder]

Congrats F!! Are you pleased it's only the one??!?

I just think nothing can prepare you. Esp if you've previously been working full time and going out whenever you like. I knew the theory and all the facts but it was the emotional rollercoaster I really was not prepared for. Baby sb was (is!) tricky and didn't sleep much,and cried ALOT. I really do think that if I had have known how I would feel I would not have had a baby. But here we are! Not good times really.

[Belle]

congratulations Fuschia!

[Fuschia]

snowboarder Wrote:

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> Congrats F!! Are you pleased it's only the

> one??!?

>

I am looking forward to having a bog standard normal pregnancy and planning a homebirth and being able to sit in cafes peacefully breastfeeidng one baby while eating cake.. of course my two demon toddlers are somehow airbrushed out of this scenario! Though when we had a scan recently, it was weird them looking at one baby then it was over. You also can't make quite so much fuss about having to stand up or wait in long queues. "I'm pregnant.. with TWINS!"

But yes, one set of twins is enough!! Although the benefits far outweigh the hard bits, you do miss out on some of the things about having one baby. (baby swim classes, even..)

As I didn't fully enjoy child no 1 as a baby as he was such hard work (and I was slow to adjust) and then the next baby turned out to be two... I guess that's why I had the broody urge to just do the normal thing this time (rose tinted glasses)

[Pickle]

I'm so excited for you Fuschia, congratulations (officially, now that it's properly "out") ;-) I'm sure the twins will be fine - by the time #4 arrives they will have calmed down and will be great little helpers.

[Fuschia]

Pickle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm sure the twins will be fine - by the time #4

> arrives they will have calmed down and will be

> great little helpers.

Let's hope!

[new mother]

I found the first 3 months wonderful for three reasons: 1. the baby was and is very easy going, happy, good at sleeping etc., 2. my husband did a huge amount and 3. I had the most massive surge of euphoria hormones.

However, more or less bang on 12 weeks, the hormones changed, my hair fell out and my joints started to ache. My energy went completely, I got every bug going and I really paid the price of the euphoria.

I think it is Mother Nature ensuring that the baby is well looked fter in his/her earliest days. By 3 month,she/he is a bit stronger and so the mummy's input is marginally less crucial.

Either way I've loved it and I hope you do too.

[sanity girl]

Wow congratulations Fuschia!

[Polly D]

Congrats Fuschia.

I remember thinking in the first 6 weeks: if this was a new job I'd have handed in my notice by now.