When did you start your maternity leave?

[jollybaby]

I'm beginning to have to think about when I want to start my maternity leave and would be interested to hear from others about how close to their EDD they managed to keep working. I know every pregnancy, person and job is different but it would be helpful to get a rough idea of what is realistic.

I'm currently 23 weeks, with a smallish bump, feeling quite sprightly and a bit of a fraud talking about stopping work . . . although I expect that things may change quite soon! My job is also quite hectic - I'm on my feet a lot, commute to Hammersmith and it's a bit all or nothing - ie continuing working and cutting back my duties would be quite tricky. I'm thinking 36 weeks . . but don't want to be at home twiddling my thumbs.

Any thoughts/advice welcome!

[missse22]

I was still doing a few clients (personal training) a week up until last wednesday. Im now finished work and im 39 weeks!! I would have pulled my hair out with boredom....or become even more of an internet shopping addict!! :))

Good luck,

Simone

[civilservant]

The key issues are exactly the ones you mention - the commute and the job stress. I carried on working until I had a week to go - and then the baby was a week late, so I had two weeks of being massively(!) bored - but I was lucky because I had an easy bus journey to an air-conditioned office where I mostly sat in front of a computer.

If you're on your feet a lot at work and have a massive commute, then you do need to think about how to make it easier on yourself when you get into your third trimester. If you've got any women colleagues who've recently been pregnant, I'd recommend talking to them about tactics for negotiating the last few weeks if you do decide to take it up to the wire.

TfL have wised up somewhat and done a little bit to make public transport more pregnancy-friendly with better signage and the Baby on Board badges - see http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/media/newscentre/archive/3665.aspx. But if that doesn't work, after a while you'll discover that you've overcome the inhibitions that might have prevented you from asking non-pregnant people for a seat!

Whatever you decide, the best of good luck:))

[apenn]

I started my maternity leave 2 weeks before my EDD thinking that would be plenty of time to get organised for the baby and to unwind and relax in preparation for labour. Much to my surprise, my son was born 2 days after I started my leave - and yes, it was my first! We didn't even have nappies in the house. Next time I'm definitely taking from 36 weeks.

As for being bored, I suppose it really depends on your personality. I was kind of hoping for some quiet personal time before such a big life change. As many people told me afterward - the early arrival and dealing with not being as prepared as I would have like was the first lesson in parenthood.

As for the commute, the bus rides in the hot weather were rather trying toward the end and despite my hugely obvious late-term pregnancy, seats were not always forthcoming. I couldn't possibly imagine how horrible the tube would have been. But at least there is a simple solution - demand your seat!

Anyway, I'm sure whatever you decide will work!

Best of luck,

-A

[ryedalema]

My first dsughter came on the first day of my maternity leave (at 37.5 weeks) and my second came on the third day of my maternity leave at (38.6) weeks..but I was happy with that. I would have gone up the wall with the waiting around.

The worst bit at the end is the commute! Bar none! People avoid eye contact so that they 'don't have to give you a seat'. It's horrible - and when you are feeling a bit hormonal you start to hate a society like this.

Get a baby on board badge -if you can't find one through TFL contact me and I'll dig mine out. As a previous poster said you soon override any shyness/embarrassment you might have and go up to people and ask for a seat. Any glares are supported by smiles from others - so it's ok in the end.

Good luck x

[prdarling]

I started my maternity leave with my first son at 36 weeks (this is the date HR gave me taking into account all the hoilday I had to use in that financial year) and I wish I could have waited until 38 weeks as I was going round the bend at the end. I went into labour 2 days after my due date thank God, because if I'd had to wait a further 2 weeks I'd have been driven insane. It didn't help that it was February/March either! I think I'd possibly have taken more kindly to it if it was summer and I could have enjoyed a stroll in the park a bit more.

I too used to commute to Hammersmith and just flashed my enormous belly around until someone felt guilty enough to give me a seat - 99% of the time it's a woman who gives up her seat, men are unbelievably horrendous when it comes to this (I hope I shall be able to bring my sons up with better manners.) I can honestly say though that people were generally brilliant and I don't remember ever having to stand.

Ryedalema is right though, you couldn't give a monkey's bum about asking people for a seat if need be and no-one will refuse you.

Personally I think a couple of weeks is ideal, but unfotunately no-one tells the baby that and they turn up when they want!

[snowboarder]

A different view to most of the above - I finished at 35 weeks and was SO glad I did! Was working long hours in quite high pressure job and just couldn't concentrate on it any more. I was finding my not too tricky commute to Hatton Garden awful and the 4 weeks I ended up having before my baby was born were so lovely - met friends, went shopping, wandered round the park, met husband for lunch etc. I look back and wish I'd taken longer - it's a time you can never ever have again!

[The Nappy Lady]

Hiya,

first time around I worked near Blackfriars, so easy commute and was feeling fine but very happy to finish work at 36 weeks and spend a very warm June hanging out at Brockwell Lido - top tip for summer bumps, you can float on a lilo on your tummy even at 40 weeks which feels so good!!

I was lucky that a best friend had taken voluntary redundancy and was waiting to start college so we hung out together a lot plus I really enjoyed the whole nesting thing. Baby was a week late and that was frustrating - I remember standing in the pristine nursey just looking at everything and desperate for her to arrive!

Second time I worked no more than a mile from home, and part time (but admit to knocking 40). Before knowing I was pregnant we'd booked a holiday to Spain so I was there for three weeks and flew back at 36 weeks - that was fine, but returning to work until 39 weeks was very tough, and I remember thinking that if I went into labour I wouldn't have the energy to push her out.

In fact she too was a week late, the first week of leave I just seemed to sleep like crazy, and then felt fine so had one lovely week before she came.

With your first it is so hard to predict how you will feel, I'd say go for stopping at 36 or 37 weeks, but if you really want to try to go longer remember the 'law' is such that you can change your mind and go sooner if you find it too much. The last few weeks can be very tiring - someone once said to me pregnancy lasts 8 months and 1 year (as the last 4 weeks feel so hard). It is when back ache, pelvic problems etc can really strike (though not always, you may bloom to the end), good to be forewarned tho.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

Molly

[Pickle]

I'm another one who is going to go against the grain of this thread - I was self-employed when I got pregnant with #1 and stopped working just before I was 6 months pregnant. Those weeks of "freedom" were some of the best I've ever had, I really enjoyed having so much time to myself, got myself really organised, and relished in the opportunity to do plenty of stuff for myself before my life changed.

It really does depend on your personality I think. I've always enjoyed having time by myself and always find things to keep myself occupied, but can understand how some people would go mad with boredom in the same situation.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

P x

[Belle]

Another vote for stopping earlier rather than later - i opted to stop 3 weeks before but got signed off with pre eclampsia a few days before ML was due to start and baby arrived the day before I'd have officially stopped work - I was gutted not to have had any time to myself and really think this made the transition to motherhood very tough. I remember thinking I'd have liked to change the dates and stop a month or 5 weeks before but I felt too guilty to ask - how stupid!

As am now a full time mum am contemplating the thought that I'll never have real maternity leave now (well unless we leave it a long time to have another baby in which case I'll go back to work before). So I'd say grab the time now!

[Ruth_Baldock]

I stopped at 35 weeks mainly because of the commute to work- not ONCE was I offered a seat and I was huge, like really really huge (Octomom had NOTHING on me).

I got bored around 38 weeks and remember wailing 'He's neeeveeeer goinnngg to cooooome!!!' (re: infant) and got a bit sick of the constant texts/emails entitled 'any news???'. Anyway, he was born at 39 weeks in the end, so alls well. I couldn't have carried on any longer and it was nice to have a few weeks of very selfish but deserved 'me' time :)

[BellendenBear]

I planned to work until 38 weeks. At 37 weeks I hit a wall and was dreading that final week. Luckily my waters broke on the Sunday night so I never did that last dreaded week (although did go in for a few hours to finish paperwork with colleagues looking very nervous!).

If work need to know a definite date then it's best to say later rather than sooner. You can always stop earlier that you said by going sick which automatically becomes mat leave, but more difficult to stay later if you are feeling up to it.

[Polly D]

I really look back at the week or so I had after finishing work and before my baby was born (he was 9 days early) and wish I had relaxed and enjoyed it more; I remember feeling guilty for doing nothing. How little I knew...so that's another vote for stopping work earlier rather than later. I always thought I would want more time at the end of maternity leave, i.e. with the baby but frankly I was rather looking forward to getting back to work after a whole year.

[akc74]

I stopped last week at 36 weeks (using up 2 weeks holiday, so mat leave officially starts at 38 weeks). So far I'm delighted to have this time off. Obviously I don't know when he/she is going join the party, but for now, I feel like I have lots to sort out. All the jobs on my list are balanced out by lunch dates with friends, so it's not all hard work! If I am totally sorted by 38 weeks, then I'll try to relax and read etc as I'm not really relaxing much just yet - too busy buying stuff online and sorting out the nursery still!

Good luck - enjoy it, whatever you decide to do.

A

[bea_filkin]

I was going to stop work at 35 weeks. Was a bit worried I'd get bored, but the little one beat me to it, and arrived at 34 weeks. No chance to say farewells or buy any of the baby stuff...but then there is so little you really need to start with.

Work nearly docked me the 2 weeks of annual leave I was meant to be taking before starting maternity leave (as maternity leave automatically starts when your baby arrives). Thankfully they managed to change their mind and gave me the two weeks at the end of my maternity leave.

There's no right answer, just see how you go.

[Pecanpie]

Wow,i'm amazed you all managed so long. My early maternity leave was the best, and probably most expensive thing i have ever given myself. Had some complications which meant i should avoid stress and had a stressful job so went asap, 30 weeks. Never bored, pregnant yoga, sleep, hanging out with bump, catching up with friends, cafe life, reading, it was WONDERFUL and i was able to go into the birth rested. I went quite early with my second too. Everyone is different and money is an obvious issue, but dont worry too much about boredom, as an ED mum, loads to do!

[gnulover]

With my first I had a great pregnancy and didn't see any point in leaving work early. Had planned on finishing work on the Friday with my due date being the Monday. Little one had a different idea and came a week early so was expected in work the day after I gave birth (of course I didn't go). With the second I thought I would give myself a bit more time but of course when you already have one you don't really get any time to yourself anyway and thought 2 weeks would be enough. I felt really tired towards the end (dealing with a 2yr old really saps your strength). However life intervened again and I managed to fall off my Vespa at 34 weeks (no lectures please) and broke my arm so was signed off work to heal and then went straight into maternity. In an odd way I am really glad it happened as I had time to sit down and relax and enjoy a bit of me time before number 2 destroyed our peaceful house for ever! But as most people say it is very personal and depends on how you are feeling in your pregnancy. You will double in size in the last month so one day you think things are going fine and the next day you wake up and you've doubled in size and you can no longer get out of bed without a winch system!

Jx

[Gubodge]

I worked to 38 weeks with both of mine, wanting as long as possible with them afterwards. They were both late, as expected, and I think I would have gone out of my mind with boredom if I'd had any longer than the 5 weeks off before #1's birth. I had extrememly easy pregnancies though and was crawling under scramble nets at 40 weeks, riding bikes at 42 and walking from Landells Road to Kings at nearly 43, so could happily have physically carried on with the commute and work at well beyond my due dates. Most people aren't as lucky.

[jollybaby]

Thanks for all your replies . . . . so maybe my idea of 36 weeks isn't unreasonable. I have a bit of annual leave to add towards it so it won't cut into my time with the baby afterwards and I suppose August is not a bad month to be spending in the park or garden (and a horrible month to be commuting) 12 weeks to go!

[Indiana]

I finished at 35 weeks and was definitely ready by then - I had also accrued some holiday so my mat leave actually started at week 37.

I spent the first 2 weeks doing all the things I hadn't had time to do - packing my hospital bag, lots of admin and things I knew I wouldn't have time to do post birth (!) then the next 2 weeks I relaxed alot, met friends, had lunches, had my pedicure and bikini wax (!) and definitely did not get bored...my little one then arrived a week early and I was just about ready by then - practically as well as mentally.

You get told that most first babies are late/on time....in my NCT class 5 our of the 6 of us had early or on time births so I was definitely glad I gave myself the weeks before her birth to prepare and relax.....I have fond memories of that time. Obviously it could have gone on for another 3 weeks really but I would have carried on enjoying 'pottering'!

Good luck

[The Nappy Lady]

.....just remembered it's a good time to cook up lots of lasagnes/cottage pies etc for the freezer, v useful once baby arrives.

Farmers on lordship lane do foil dishes and lids.

Molly

[katgod]

Those 3.5 weeks before first babay born were bliss - house cleaned, household admin up to date, I had not bought anything due to feeling quite superstitious so plenty of time on the number 12 up to Oxford Streeet John Lewis to investigate sheets and changing bags, lunches with friends, visits to galleries and cinema.

I have found fellow commuters very kind re offering seats, in the most recent one I think I stood twice and that was when I was wedged in the part of the train where those around me were not close to seats either. I have had passengers on the tube when I had my bottom perched on the ledge at the end of the carriage on the Jubillee line and been quite comfy go down the main part of the carriage to demand that someone seated stand up for me. I have never needed to wear a badge.

Materity leave is good for doing filing, sorting photo albums, and being by yourself for a while as you will never get those jobs done or that time again. (Or maybe i am just too disorganised, and everyone else manages to maiantain order once babay comes along!)

Really it is pointless trying to plan when the baby will come, someone said there should be best before dates rather than due dates as they rarely come when you think. I've had one early and 2 "late". If in later pregnancy you get symphusis pubic disorder or a particularly large bump the physical aspect of commuting - walking to the station, stepping up on to the train, up and down escalators can be exhausting, and I did get a seat on pretty much every journey. Or you may be blessed with good health. The important thing is to learn that you can't plan it all out! I'd say 38 weeks is def time enough to stop work, and personally have always gone for 36.

[prm]

I am planning to stop work at the end of week 36, which will be end of August. I am really looking forward to having that time to sort things out and winding down a bit, and apart from avoiding the commute (luckily mine is not too bad), I think I would get a bit stressed out worrying that I may go into labour at the office or on the train!

[crystal7]

I wanted as much time as possible with baby so worked until 38 weeks (I'm a teacher so don't get annual leave whilst on mat. leave). My little one was a week late and the 3 weeks I had before she was born were great but very busy- cooking for freezer, cleaning, buying nursing bras plus hair cut and waxing! I was also a bit anxious baby would be early and I'd be unprepared.

Would do the same again though- was hard enough returning to work when my daughter was 11 months *sob* wouldn't have wanted it to be any earlier (I'm a big wimp!)

[EDZ]

I got home from the office at 8pm at my 37th week and my daughter was born the next day. I had planned to work until the end of the 38th week. It depends on your job and how long you plan to take off (as well as the boredom factor which I am not good at), but I am full blown career woman so needed to minimize my time off work and take most of it with the baby, hence my decision to push it to the wire. However, some words of advice on making this decision. Find out if your mother was early, on time or late. It seems to run in the family. Only after I gave birth at 37 weeks did my mother exclaim "oh you were all early". If your mother ran late with all her pregnancies that increases the chance you will be late (no guarantee, but seems to be more likely). If you are planning to push is later, be organized! I recognize many of the stories about not having enough babygrows, emergency formula, nursing bra, nappies, pads...you name it, we only had some baby grows, a car seat and crib (not put together), so it was a scramble, largely conducted by a clueless husband with me giving directions from the hospital.