A moment of madness...

[Keef]

On more than one occasion I've searched high and low for the glasses that are on my face.

[brum]

Driving off with my mobile phone on the roof of the car, hearing it slide off as I rounded a bend, watching it crash onto the road in my rear view mirror, seeing it being driven over by a Jag, then retrieving the pieces, putting it back together....and discovering that it still worked!

[SeanMacGabhann]

Aged about 10, waiting in the car for my dad, bored out of my head, i became fascinated with the side window - it was so super clear and clean I became convinced it was actually open, and I was just looking at air. Either was possible but my madness came with my method of finding out which.. I punched the space/window as hard as I could (to this day I have no idea why)

It was NOT open

[katie1997]

Oh, this was definitely madness on my part......I screamed the house down whilst having a shower due to a scary 'bug' appearing by my feet through the soapy bubbles, following me every time I tried to get away!!!

Worried other half sprinted up the stairs to find out what carnage was happening in the bathroom (as you do) ....... he was not impressed to find I had been frightened by nothing more than my own toenails (which for some unknown reason, I had painted in a really dark reddish/black colour)

Needless to say he was less eager to 'rescue' me from any subsequent bug attacks/moments of panic :-$

[PeckhamRose]

Jumped on motorcycle, put key in and key wouldn't go in all the way but I had not noticed. Tried turning key. Assumed I had but it wouldn't start.

Jumped off, checked kill switch was off, petrol tap was on, plugs plugged in etc.

Jumped on again,

VERY angry motorcyclist comes towards me, "Oi, What the Fcku dya think yer doin'?"

Turns round. I'm on the wrong bike.

Him, seeing I was female, calmed down by 99% as if a female biker doing this sort of thing was a regular occurrence.

My bike was now visible, two bikes down.

Blushed proper.

[Bellenden Belle]

Aged 13. I decided to deliver local newspapers to earn some spare cash. It was one of those free weekly titles and when the 600 copies arrived I decided it was just too much hard work.

I needed to get rid of the papers though - to hide the evidence of my bone idleness.

So I patiently set about tearing them up and flushing them down the family toilet.

Two hours later, I had to explain to the emergency plumber and my most displeased mother, just why it seemed like a good idea at the time.

[giggirl]

I just had my moment of madness when I accidentally took an advanced yoga class. WTF was thinking? I can barely type I'm shaking so much. I struggled for an hour and a half on a mat nestled between beautiful people who I swear to God must have come out of the womb in downward dog. I feel well and truly humiliated ? death by yoga, I should have run a mile after the warm-ups but I braved it out. I may not live to tell but right now I'm going to slide into a swimming pool and attempt to swim a few laps to soothe my poor confused limbs.

[LordshipLovely]

Using the buttons on my work phone to go through menu options when I'm on on the phone to the bank from my mobile, then getting very annoyed when nothing happens!

I've done this more than once...

[PeckhamRose]

Girls girls! That's too funny/sad!

[legalbeagle]

Shortly after having my second baby I came back from shopping, and whilst unpacking, put the nappies in the freezer and the peas in a drawer upstairs.....

[giggirl]

I'm a child of the 60s and my mother's moment of madness was leaving me, in my pram, parked outside Woolworths. Those were the days when mothers didn't struggle with prams, they just left them (and the baby) outside the store. If a parent tried that today they would be reported to social services but in the 60s - it was the done thing. Anyway, she went home and had a cup of tea before my father casually asked "where's the baby?". No harm done.

[Mick Mac]

Well at least you did not make a fuss. Not until now anyway.

[YellowC]

I mistook athlete's foot cream for thrush cream.

Bet you wish your girlfriend was hot like me...

[Ladymuck]

Oh my Lord! I've just read through this thread twice. My stomach hurts from so much laughter...and I have (laughter) tears streaming down my face as I type. I know I shouldn't laugh at all your...ahem...misfortunes...but, I mean...

Have we all just got too much on our minds or are we all just plain bonkers?

The most serious moment of madness for me was when I drove off from a petrol pump without paying. I got as far as Catford (on the busy South Circular) when it suddenly hit me. By jove, I thought I was going to have a heart attack...palpitations, cold sweats, hyper-ventilating...you name it... and I instinctively (without taking due care to check that it was safe to do so and without a hint of warning whatsoever) did a U-turn on this busy road...nearly crashed into a lorry...received masses of (well deserved) abuse from other drivers and continued to drive like a lunatic till I reached the petrol station in question only to find that they hadn't even noticed! Frightened the life out of me though. Never again have I done that.

[ryedalema]

Ah..oh dear I have another one as petrol pumps remind me.

When I was much younger(and a new driver)I broke down my little Fiesta at a petrol pump on the forecourt of my local petrol station. My boss lived nearby so I got him to pick me up as I rang the RAC. The RAC arrived just as my boss did and told me that actually.....

I had run out of petrol.

:-$:-$:-$

[gwod]

While hoovering, I found my daughter's plastic tiara on the ground and put it on my head to get it out of the way, then I forgot about it until I casually ran my hand through my hair while choosing bacon at Sainsburys...

Very hung over at work (years ago) I sat at my desk trying to work out why I couldnt get my computer to work as I would expect before I realised I was holdng the mouse upside down - try it, its really disconcerting.

I had a pair of shoes I liked so much I bought them in two colours, one day I went to work with one foot in each shade.

I have too many moments of madness to mention - I can think of loads more - moments of sanity are more rare!

[Mamma Mia]

Fed my Oyster card into the ticket slot at London Bridge station and had to wait (red-faced) while they opened up the machine to retrieve it. Still worked fortunately.

[Ladymuck]

Oh dear, talking of Oysters...you've just reminded me of another "serious" madness moment. Set out with Oyster Card (knowing I had to put some money on it - after all, hubby had only just reminded me) only to completely forget on hearing the train pull up at ED and run like a mad fool to catch it, to arrive at LB to find I couldn't get out of barriers and (Sod's Law) to find the British Transport Police in attendance with their sniffer dogs. ?20 instant fine! Horrible - I felt like a criminal.

[HAL9000]

Mistook calamine lotion for kayoline and morphine - spent the next hour vomiting like a foam fire extinguisher.

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> Mistook calamine lotion for kayoline and morphine

> - spent the next hour vomiting like a foam fire

> extingisher.

Just banged my head on the computer screen just now while having a laughing fit - at your eloquence!

[sophiesofa]

giggirl Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm a child of the 60s and my mother's moment of

> madness was leaving me, in my pram, parked outside

> Woolworths. Those were the days when mothers

> didn't struggle with prams, they just left them

> (and the baby) outside the store. If a parent

> tried that today they would be reported to social

> services but in the 60s - it was the done thing.

> Anyway, she went home and had a cup of tea before

> my father casually asked "where's the baby?". No

> harm done.

I was left in a DIY shop for 2 hours as a baby - I was happy as larry apparently.

I once came out of the gym with my skirt tucked into the side of my nickers until my friend noticed about 5 mins down the busy road.

I found my wallet in the freezer once after reporting all my cards lost.

[katie1997]

Not so much a moment of madness but a few years of confusion reigned when I was much younger.....

I used to wonder why the cowardly Lion (in the Wizard of Oz) was given a heart when he eventually got to the Emerald city. In my mind he had clearly asked for curry?

My rotten brother laughed so much ....

[Applespider]

There are times at work where I've had a laptop sitting alongside my regular PC. I've picked up the mouse to do something to no effect - only to realise that I'm looking at the laptop screen rather than the normal one. Doh!

[hellosailor]

My most incredible 'brain-fart' to date was when a few years ago when I was at work and had to pop out to buy someone a coffee.

As I approached the weighted front door I had what I can only explain as a sort of spontaneous lapse of memory about the precise sequence of steps involved in getting through a door, so I sort of hesitated, opened the door about a third of the way open, hesitated again, put my head in the gap and then with quite a strong sense of purpose, slammed the door closed, knocking myself out cold. in the split second between closing the door with my head in it and slithering to the ground I genuinely remember having time to think 'ah, no, I've done that in the wrong sequence.'

I woke up on my own on the floor in the corridoor and then went back to my desk and pretended it hadn't happened! :))

[HAL9000]

katie1997 Wrote:

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> I used to wonder why the cowardly Lion (in the

> Wizard of Oz) was given a heart when he eventually

> got to the Emerald city. In my mind he had

> clearly asked for curry?

Ahem. The Scarecrow asked for a brain, the Tin Man a heart and the Cowardly Lion courage (curry?).

(Katie1997 performs a 'Moment of Madness' in front of a live audience at the EDF!)