I'd want to know if they were my kids.....

[Narnia]

I don't usually post here but for the above reason I'm doing so. At around 12.15 this afternoon I was waiting at the traffic lights on Honor Oak Rd, waiting to turn left towards Forest Hill Station. Tesco's petrol station/shop was on my right. A woman in charge of two toddlers who looked like sisters of maybe three and four max, was on the pavement to my left. Her intention was to cross over and she proceeded to do so while most of her attention was focused of having a conversation on her mobile phone. They made it to the small island in the middle of the road. While she turned around to make sure the smaller of the kids was following and still on the phone, the older one proceeded to cross the rest of the road. A car turning into the road I was leaving managed to stop as the driver obviously saw the toddler. The woman having crossed with the two kids safely, more by luck than judgement IMO, proceeded it seemed towards Tesco's not holding either child by the hand.

My suspicion is that this was possibly an au pair/childminder not looking after someone's children. The consequences of this neglect could have been terrible. The point of posting this is that if you think you may be a parent to these kids, if you wish to pm me I could describe the person/what they were wearing if you wished to confront the person. My wife was a witness to this as well and was equally as horrified as I was.

If you happen to be the children's mother and read this, please don't let something you will feel guilty about for the rest of your life happen for the sake of a phone conversation.

I don't know if you will think this post is out of order. I guess you will let me know. I am a parent but of a child old enough to cross the road by himself.

[twinmummy]

Well done for posting this. If it was my kids' nanny, I would be so grateful to have heard from you. If anyone accuses you of being a do-gooder they need their head read.

[Narnia]

Thank you for posting that twinmummy. I don't care what people may think though as those tots were not being cared for properly in a very dangerous situation. I wrote it on the offchance that the parents might read it. I don't think the young lady concerned is a bad person but she obviously didn't have her priorities right at that particular time.

[batgirl]

I too think you have done a great deed. I wish I had thought to do the same last summer,

when I witnessed a chidminder leaving two babies in her car while she went into Fairlawn nursery to collect a child.

I did stay by the car till she came back as one baby was screaming and there would have been ample time for someone to have grabbed both children. I did have a few words with her and spoke to the head of the nursery. Wish I did more, such as trying to find the parents to let them know:(

*edited to correct spelling*

[Narnia]

Thanks Batgirl. I'm a little surprised by the lack of response to this thread.Enough people appear to have read it.I suppose if they weren't my babies I wouldn't care. Really? Still if if affects just one parent/childminder it will have been worth writing.

[Gubodge]

What responses do you expect, Narnia? I am not the children's parent, and neither are any, presumably, of the people who have veiwed this thread. Just because we don't see that there is anything to be added by saying 'Yes, you're right, how awful' doesn't mean we don't care.

[Narnia]

Gubodge Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What responses do you expect, Narnia? I am not the

> children's parent, and neither are any,

> presumably, of the people who have veiwed this

> thread. Just because we don't see that there is

> anything to be added by saying 'Yes, you're right,

> how awful' doesn't mean we don't care.

Interesting comment. I guess I would have expected comments regarding childminders/au pairs and/or if I should just mind my own business. I guess you don't have an employee to look after your kid(s). When you write that 'we don't see' who exactly are you speaking on behalf of?

[sillywoman]

me.

[katgod]

and me. You posted something, I don't recognize the children described, so there is nothing further useful to add. In fact as someone who usually inwardly complains when threads go way off topic I can't believe I am now posting to justify one that did stay on topic. I do have an employee to look after my children, but don't see how that makes any difference. I am sure there are plenty of peope itching to comment on a thread called "shocking childcare decisions and how all children should be looked after by their saintly mother" - but this one about a specoific incident with specific children has served its purpose surely.

[Keef]

Have to agree. I read this this morning, and thought "hmmm, interesting, but have nothing to say on the subject", so I didn't.

[The Nappy Lady]

Me too, actually thought pretty much exactly what Gubodge said - what do you expect us to say, other than well done for possibly bringing it to the relevant parents attention?

[bumpy]

i agree this is a terrible situation but why have you assumed it was au pair/child minder and not their mother. it's kinda tainting child carers and making out all parents are saints - i'm not a child carer so no ulterior motive

[woofmarkthedog]

Narnia..

Thank you for your post however, sadly it's an everyday occurrence somewhere in this megatropolis. I like most parents don't recognise the children or person described, therefore my thought is "Thank f**k it's not any of mine"

Also there are plenty of people who treat their own children with equal disregard when it comes to their safety, walk to school on any given day & you'll see someone mouthing off down a mobile phone, kids trailing somewhere behind staring vacantly into space. It's not nice, but you get used to it

If you have the guts & I don't mean this as a challenge, pull the person up there and then to express your feelings. I do it regularly but be prepared for the backlash, even outright hostility, plus nobody will thank you for it

For the most part parents strive to do the best for their offspring, though there is a malaise & culture of benign neglect in some pockets of London & when you see it raw, it jars the conscience somewhat

If people read your post & it pricked one person indirectly to make a change, or to reinforce the rules of their childcare arrangements, then job done

Thing is you'll never know, though don't be put off "taking a stand" whatever others may say

W**F

[Narnia]

I mentioned that it may have been the mother of the children if you read the post correctly. I didn't ask Gubodge to post a comment. The additional comments almost read like I've commited some sort of offence myself. Strange that the main reaction to my original post was my surprise at the lack of comment on it.

Thanks for the positive responses I received here and by PM. As for the rest of you well I don't know about the latest ferrari prams or the 7 day nappy but I'm sure it's interesting.However I'm not qualified to speak on such current matters.

[The Nappy Lady]

Narnia,

I really don't understand why you are cross about this.

Like others I thought your OP was spot on, read it but didn't comment as had nothing to add.

If you would like a general debate on this subject I'm sure many will be happy to contribute, but that didn't seem to be what your initial post was about. I'm sure most took it this way, hence the surprise/reactions to you subsequent post.

I think it is unfair to imply people think other subjects are more important when in actual fact your post was clearly treated with great respect and not criticised by anyone.

Hope you feel better for having a little dig though.

Molly

[Sanne Panne]

Good warning Narnia, I do agree with the others that the reason not too many people replied is probably that it was quite specific (the topic could have easily started a more general debate but somehow it didn't).

My biggest fear of having my children looked after by a nanny rather than send them to a nursery or a no-school-runs childminder (like we do now) is that there are more opportunities for my kids to cross the road with someone else than myself or my husband supervising them. Not saying nannies care less, just that it's extremely scary to give that responsibility to someone else. When I'm in the park and see kids I know with their nannies I always observe how they interact and often let the kids' parents know if they're particularly nice or particularly focused on their mobile phones. Feel a bit bad for being a spy and basing my judgement on 15 minutes of observation but I can't help it.

[Narnia]

I'm quoting myself here. Dipping my toes into the family section I wasn't sure how my OP would be received. Given the lack of response to it, apart from one or two,I felt that I was as Sanne Panne said, 'a spy' who was left in the cold.

And yes Molly, I enjoyed my little dig.

PS Trust you won't mind if I come back in a few years to add my words of 'wisdom' on teenagers, which no doubt will be a big topic of conversation then!

[The Nappy Lady]

Don't think anyone did anything to suggest your post is out of order, or to discourage you from coming to the family room. I'm sure I have seen the odd post from you in here before and hope we will continue to do so.

Molly

[katgod]

Narnia - 599 people have read your post, and no doubt as I did applied the information you provided to their own children and those in their circle and decided that it did not appear to be children they knew, so there was not much more to say or be done. No doubt a few au pairs/nannies and mothers will have been reminded about/ spoken to/thought about their actions when crossing the road. You did a good thing highlighting the case.

But your comment that there had not been much reaction, and subsequent post about being left out in the cold is bewildering and leaves the impression that rather than seeking to do some good (which you did, no arguments), you were maybe looking for praise and applause. **Pins big badge on Narnia for doing a good turn**

I and others did not think your post out or order (you surely would have got a massive response if that were the case). It just didn't seem like a point for debate. It was a 'no-brainer' for most parents, yes we would want to know, yes the children's safety was at risk, no it wasn't out of order to post. This isn't the Lounge. We are too busy looking after small children to engage in long debates unless there ius a clear point to debate. Please don't sulk.

[Narnia]

Thanks for the badge katgod. Obviously I see how my posts may have come across this way though it wasn't my intention. Far from sulking though I think I will now invest in a caped outfit, learn to fly and hopefully rescue loads of little one's from crossing the road dangerously!

[Moos]

Phew! Nice to see this thread ending with smiles on all sides.

[Keef]

Quite.

Narnia, I dipped my toe in to this section a while ago, and these are very different waters from those that you're used to!!! They're a good bunch though.

I think Woof's post summed it all up pretty well.