How many children would you have...

[Ruth_Baldock]

I know, Keef, I knooooooooooooooooow :( It's not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair.

Basically, DH is a post-production supervisor on films, and tings. He owns his own business (Do NOT get me started on this!) and everyone in the company works the hours they have to to get the job done. When we first met, he wasn't nearly as busy and goes through months of having nothing to do, then BAM, all of a sudden they have a fortnight to complete a whole film. It sucks. And when Bubs was 'made' (around this time last year!) he had three months 'off' so...er...lots of spare time??? I never know when he's going to be mega busy and at the moment, he is mega busy and it's awful :(

Either way, I can't do the whole pregnant and having a newborn thing again whilst being almost alone. I can't do it, and I won't do it. Sad times.

[Knomester]

I always dreamt of having 3 children. I'm 5 months pregnant with number 1 and have sworn it will be an only child! I am not one of these women who 'bloom' in pregnancy that's for sure... Everyone tells me I'll forget how horrid the sickness, exhaustion, heartburn, etc was in time - maybe they're right. But even if that is the case I definitely think I would stick at 2.

I'm one of 4 children (aged 34 to 16) which meant my mum had the youngest 2 at 40 and 45. I can't imagine how she managed. She's a very sound sleeper though. It's a big family with 4 children, a touch too big I'd say (although I wouldn't swap my brother and sisters for the world!).

[sparkle]

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[Smiler]

That must be really hard Ruth. We should add "availability of partner" (for conception, birth, and all that follows) to the list of factors!

Chantelle - totally know what you mean. One can be great.

[????]

I think that people who have had just the one so far, completley understandably, tend to think that two= X2 the massive shock and effort (hassle!) of the first arrival. But infact there's just an incremental increase in 'difficulty' compared to the omg wtf 1000% change in your life the first one brings! And, in our case, and I expect in most parents case, you suddenly realise you're ok at this baby thing, whereas the first tends to be far more stressfull/lifechanging/nervouse and self criticalc - although still great! This, for us and most I'm guessing, makes them progressively more enjoyable/manageable as babies (presuming all else is = obvioulsy ).

[The Nappy Lady]

Ruth,

I just want to give you a big hug. It must be so hard being on your own that much with the baby. Hard for your partners time to be so unbalanced - it will be lovely in the summer if he is free to spend lots of sunny days with you in the park, but overall probably much easier to have your partner there each day for a guaranteed amount of time.

I am always so appreciative when my other half is there to help with bedtime, but he's about to be away 5/6 days a week full time from after Easter until the election (BBC Political Journalist, so they will be sending him all over the country to 'chat' to the voting public). Sigh.

Molly

[The Nappy Lady]

Quids,

My friend with 4 says that the jump from 1 to 2 is the biggest shock, but after that you don't really notice the change with 3 or 4 etc.

Must say although more confident with no. 2 I found it harder in terms of the relentlessness of it, and both parents having their hands full most of the time, plus trying to fit baby in around school runs, oh and doing bedtime with two of them etc. was terrified about how we'd do that, but actually it was fine in the end.

As with all things, you adapt of course!

Molly

[gwod]

I would say that 1 child is the hardest work - the whole life recalibration thing that Keef wrote about is one factor - but also the undiluted intensity of your relationship is exhausting. I have four and I feel although there maybe slightly more to do it is much less hard work (if that makes any sense) Younger siblings have a lot more people around them that love them - which really lightens the load.

Ruth, hang on in there - the first bit can feel like an endurance test. Try to see lots of people so that you get adult company and help. You will get through it and feel like yourself again.

[ryedalema]

We've recently had number 2 and I think we're going to stop there. I remember after the birth (which was a bit more ouchy than I remembered the first) thinking 'thank heavens I don't have to do that again!'

The most exhausting part of having two for me is eldest daughter who is three in July. She's like a whirling dirvish! I'm so glad we can afford to keep her in nursery during my mat leave otherwise you'd have to scrape me off the floor - as it is I'm much more partial to a 'thank G*d it's over' G&T or V&DC in the evening than I remember being for a while.

The other reason for us sticking at 2 is that my OH is 1 of 3 and his youngest sister is bi-polar and very prone to histrionics. He seems to feel that if we had a third we may have a big challenge on our hands - who knows - but that's his mindset.

Ruth - my husband was working in Solihull for the whole of last year (until I was eight months preggers) so I was looking after out toddler by myself. It is exhausting - but I/we managed. You just get through don't you - tankety tank tank.

And when I/we see you on the 16th I'll buy you a nice glass of something to celebrate our multi-tasking greatness!

[sillywoman]

Agree with gwod totally about first child being hardest.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Awwww, you guys *blush* Everyone is so lovely. Yes, it's incredibly hard but I'm sort of used to it, and Sebastian is going through a hilarious stage (laughing at shoelaces and his own farts, lovely) at the moment and is great company. He is always up for lots of cuddles and because we co-sleep, I take him upstairs with me at about 8pm and he snoozes/plays with his feet and snuggles with me in bed whilst we watch TV. We do have the odd screaming evening, when I am tempted to put him on Ebay, but overall he's a good baby and makes things easy for me. We go out all the time, keep ourselves busy. This time next week, DH will be finished with his nasty workload and will be under my feet, asking for cups of tea (ha bloody ha, matey) and playing with Seb/giving him his bath and all will be well. Now, if we can just get him to sleep through (but that's another story!)

But thanks to everyone for being lovely as usual, it's nice to read such supportive comments when Seb is napping :)

[veryseriousgirl]

Ruth_Baldock Wrote:

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> We do have the

> odd screaming evening, when I am tempted to put

> him on Ebay,

I am so glad to hear that other people have those moments. Not-so-serious baby is wonderful most of the time, but sometimes I feel the need to inspect her for a return label...

[Ruth_Baldock]

Oh, I tell Seb quite often 'That's IT! You're going on EBAY RIGHT NOW!' and the tone of voice normally makes him stop crying for a bit. Sometimes, to mix things up, I mention putting him on gumtree too. I know how to have a laff, and don't say I don't...

[GinaG3]

I would love 3 children, currently I have just the one. Thats hard enough, but 3 spaced out nicely sounds better.

My cousin is on child 4 and still thinking about another 4 or 5. The house would be far too hectic for me. A friend says 17... The idea makes my head spin.

[Ant]

eBay and gumtree are all well and good, but I think you'd get a better price on Amazon marketplace.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Ant: Very true. However, the 'sharing' part of me always considers freecyle, too...

[Ant]

Yeah but you might be expected to take one back too - mutual obligation and all that. Kind of defeats the purpose.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I could swap him for a new washing machine, or...cat, or something. No?

[helena handbasket]

There's always Angelina, or Madonna...........

A friend of mine is the second youngest of 23, yep you read it right ....... 23 children her parents had! Two sets of twins in there, so 21 births.

I thought I wanted two but my wonderful child has put me through my paces, and I'm almost certain two of him would kill me. If money were no object and I could hire a couple more of "me" than I would do it in a second.

Anyway, once they're sleeping through the night and potty trained, do you really want to go back? We're just starting to be sort of normal people again, after THREE years!

[Helen GV]

I like the idea of a large family with 5 or 6 kids but really don't think i could handle all the pregnancies. i think it'll be two and thats it :)

[snowboarder]

helena handbasket Wrote:

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> Anyway, once they're sleeping through the night

> and potty trained, do you really want to go back?

> We're just starting to be sort of normal people

> again, after THREE years!

Exactly what I think I will feel like...so if I want another think I'd better get on with it before life gets too nice again!!!

[Smiler]

OMG, 21 births! That's like a whole street worth of kids. Have to be impressed at the sheer stamina.

helena handbasket Wrote:

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> A friend of mine is the second youngest of 23, yep

> you read it right ....... 23 children her parents

> had! Two sets of twins in there, so 21 births.

[womanofdulwich]

i think you have to think of the wear and tear on yourself. my friend had 5 children and had hip replacements by 35 yrs old. plus her uterus dropping etc. And you can get 3 in the back of most cars, which is very important.

[prdarling]

Always wanted 3 - ideally BGG or BBG. Currently got BB.

Mr Darling says he wants another but we can't afford me not to work. However am of advancing years so in my opinion we need to crack on with it.

Mr Darling and I not friends at the moment over above issue..hmm

[citizenED]

Really lovely to read all the comments on here. Have to generally concur that having number one is the big change in your life. Before that you don't have to parent and afterwards you discover that parenting is a 25/7 endeavour. And that is true however many you have.