To all parents! (Breastfeeding Peer Support Counsellors)

[livestoknit]

Hello fellow Dulwich-ers!

Me and my friend are training as Breastfeeding Peer Support Counsellors and are trying to create some posters to raise a positive awareness of breastfeeding in Southwark. We would love to hear from you;

- If you have any ideas what would encourage you or discourage with breastfeeding (eg. shock tactics/ informative posters...what works?)

- What information do you need to know/what would have helped to know? (breastfeeding cafes/hotlines)

- IF YOU DIDN'T BREASTFEED...we would especially love to hear from you as we want a 'REAL' view of how people feel about it

- Fathers of babies who were breastfeed and who were not breastfed, we would love to hear what you think about it

National Breastfeeding Awareness Week is running from 21st - 27th June 2010

http://www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk/en/fe/page.asp?n1=5&n2=13

Come down to the local breastfeeding support groups!

Mondays 10.00am-12.00noon - (except public holidays) Dulwich Breastfeeding Cafe, Townley Road Clinic, 121 Townley Road, SE22 8SW for further details contact 02032996479

Thursdays 10.00am-12.00noon - Peckham & Camberwell Breastfeeding Cafe, Peckham Library (5th Floor) 122 Peckham Hill Street (by Peckham Pulse) SE15 5PR

for further deatils contact 07875809223/ 07969774414/ 02030498315

Thankyou for your time!

Beth & Gina

[littleEDfamily]

A bit of humour in whatever publicity you choose to do is in my opinion good! Too often I think the whole breastfeeding debate becomes too militant for my tastes, which I think can make people more 'prudish' or make them feel even more pressured.

In terms of support, there just is no substitute for someone literally shoving your boob into baby's mouth in the right way. For me, the hands on approach meant I only had to be shown once and was away. But I am sure other mums (and Dads) have different needs and preferences.

Just out of interest, what does one do at a breastfeeding support group?

Good luck with it all!

[ClareC]

I had a C section so had the hands on approach too! Have had no problems at all.......however, I know some people would really find this offensive.

[GinaG3]

Hi. Thanks for your replies.

littleEDfamily, thank you for your point of view. I too agree humour is good, it can lighten a issue. Its just getting that humour thats the hard part. We are thinking of alot of ways to put forward the awareness of breastfeeding and just letting people know, there is help out there, should you need it.

Breastfeeding cafe's offer support with experienced midwives and peer counsellors. All peer counsellors have to train to become qualified and have breastfed their own children for 2 months or more. With mother to mother support this can help mothers establish a confidence with breastfeeding, they may not have had before. If you experience problems during breastfeeding, its more than likely there is someone out there who has been through the same thing too, they maybe able to support you, they've been there before. Wether it is emotional support you need, practical support. Advice can be found through places such as breastfeeding cafe's. Its just a breastfeeding zone, mothers of all ages and backrounds all with something in common, from advice to a chat with another mum that shares the same interests. Its nice to be social with new people, I found it a nice confidence lift throughout the early tiresome months.

I really did have the hands on approach with my baby, right from birth. But still found it an upward struggle to breastfeed for the first 2 months, I went along to peckham breastfeeding cafe, and it changed breastfeeding for me. The support was just second to none. I became so confident, as I did so did she. And now at 14 months all proud and walking around she is still the guzzle guts she always has been.

ClareC, Sorry, what do you think some people would find offensive?

[helena handbasket]

I have to admit that I didn't love the hands on thing........ I had a c-section as well and I felt a bit "manhandled" already, so when these women out of nowhere kept mauling my breasts I just seriously needed them to back off and they didn't. Part of me has always wondered if my negative experiences with this had at least some role in my breast feeding struggles later..... I felt really violated by "Gwen the breast feeding Nazi" (my name for her, oh the trauma).

littleEdfamily is right about keeping it light though. The whole issue is BIG to a new hormonal mum that in my experience I would never have signed up for anything that I thought would just make me feel worse..... again maybe explains the struggles.

If just one person had said "well give it a shot and if it doesn't work out then that's okay too, not the end of the world" things might have gone better. I loooooove the idea of chatting with someone who has been in your shoes, that's what mums need. I was never happier than when somebody just understood me. Validation I guess, isn't it?

[livestoknit]

Hello there!

I've been listening out, and lots of people have stories of their breastfeeding experiences that put midwives in a bad light. It's the sad truth that midwives are run off their feet trying to look after many women; establishing a good exclusive breastfeeding relationship is something that can take a while in some people's cases, and some women have lots of problems at the beginning. The breastfeeding cafes are there to really bridge the gap of care that some people experience and give practical, supportive and empowering information to women so that their breastfeeding relationship with their baby stops becoming a struggle and becomes a wonderful experience for the whole family.

Lots of people first come to the cafe as a brand new, nervous, hormonal mum who has a problem with feeding and needs help fast, before someone persuades them a bottle is easier! Pregnant women are very welcome too, to learn more about breastfeeding and chat to other mums about everything from birth to slings! Everyone at the cafes is mad about breastfeeding, it's a fantastic place to go if you are having negative reactions towards your feeding, we, as training peer counsellors are here to help you, come get some!

Everyone and every baby is different, we try and help everyone in the way they need to be helped. And just so you know, no-one will ever touch your breast without asking you whether that is okay with you first!

Beth

[helena handbasket]

Sounds great!

edited to add: Gwen the breast feeding Nazi was in Canada, not here. Just in case some poor local midwife named Gwen thinks I'm talking about her........ :))

[fearnpw1]

This may sound silly but I just wanted somebody to look at how I was doing it and tell me if I was doing it 'right'. My baby was a low birth weight and has continued to be small even at the age of 4. That's just the way she is. But the feedback I received from health visitors suggested she wasn't growing quickly enough therefore there was a problem with feeding. On reflection I don't think this was the case at all, but I wasted a lot of time and effort worrying about a problem which didn't really exist. If someone could just have observed me breastfeeding and said yep, looks like you're doing fine then that would have been enormously helpful.

[sanity girl]

I agree with fearmpw1. I had my daughter in Italy and received no advice/help etc re. breastfeeding. Luckily I had no problems and found it easy and wonderful from the start, but still when she was 1 month old and I finally found a local drop-in mums and babies clinic and the advisor there watched me and said yes, you're doing it right - it was such a relief!

[Smiler]

Hands-on (but of course only if asked!), practical help is what is needed - we received this from a community midwife and think we would have given up on the b-feeding without this help as we were struggling.

Any publicity info should provide information about what actual practical help is available locally and how to get it (from midwives, health visitors, cafes, hotlines, anyone!)

Am sure the services are all helpful, but personally I think nothing beats one-to-one, at-home help.

[GinaG3]

Hi all. Thanks for your responses, each and every one is much appreciated.

fearnpw1 That doesn't sound silly at all. Infact the observation is exactly what reassures alot of breastfeeding mothers. Having someone on hand to help, that has breastfed one or more children themselves is very reassuring for many women. I too found it very helpful in making my confidence with breastfeeding my daughter flourish, and now am very keen to help support handfuls of women across Southwark establish a brilliant breastfeeding relationship with their child. I think alot of women are worried to ask for help when it comes to breastfeeding as they feel as mother it should be a very natural thing that comes easily, but there are also a lot of women that dont know help is available.

sanitygirl I am glad to hear you found someone that reassured you, and let you know what you needed to know. Did you find help in Italy or England?

Smiler We are trained to ask the mother if she is okay with the 'hands on' approach before start. We dont want to offend, but help. Some mother's dont mind, but others do. Im glad to hear that you also found help to resolve your problem before giving up breastfeeding. Thank you for the idea's on publicity, we will help to provide all relevant information as to where mothers can seek help within Southwark.

Thanks again guys.

[sanity girl]

Hi Gina

the help I found was while I was still in Italy. The ladies who worked at the drop-in centre were lovely. I've also now just remembered that while I was still in hospital in Italy I had hands on help from the mother of one of the other women on the ward I was in -just for the first time I got my daughter onto my breast. I was so lucky she latched on and got going first try.

I found the general attitude in Italy to breastfeeding much more open and encouraging than here in the UK. I fed my daughter anywhere and everywhere and all the comments I got from members of the public whilst doing it were warm and positive.

[GinaG3]

sanitygirl, lucky you with the latching. Some women find just that part alone so hard. I became very distressed with my latching problem, which I may add only resolved itself 2 months into very painful breastfeeding. I'm glad to hear of a positive attitude in Italy, I have no personal experience of Italy, whilst breastfeeding at least. But I suppose you get different forms of opinion everywhere. I have had both mixed views whilst I have breastfed in public, some nasty stares. But find if you take the good with the bad, you know what your doing makes your child happy, to me thats all that matters.

I know the breastfeeding rates in this country are some of the lowest in Europe, Italy is placed statistically slightly higher up. I know there are many different things that effect breastfeeding rates. There are many contributing factors. An example is Sweden where almost all women breastfeed their babies exclusively until 6 months as recommended by WHO, in sweden every single hospital has achieved UNICEFs Baby Friendly* status compared to just one in 10 in England.

* - Unicef Baby Friendly initiative includes 10 steps to encourage successful breastfeeding, such as informing mothers about the benefits of breastfeeding, training staff to help women breastfeed, not offering dummies to infants, ensure mothers and babies to stay together 24 hours a day while they are in hospital and sets standards for breastfeeding support groups after discharge from hospital. Hospitals can only be designated as Unicef Baby Friendly when they have implemented all ten steps and can show they do not accept free or cheap breastmilk substitutes, feeding bottles or teats.

[crystal7]

I was incredibly lucky and breastfeeding was great from the start but I did have some unhelpful/incorrect advice from my health visitor. When I told her my 3 month old took 5-10 min to feed, she immediately whipped out the scales saying she couldn't be gaining weight if that were the case- her weight was fine!

The most helpful support I got was from the fabulous Oakwood midwives- did the hands-on things initially and before I was discharged discussed all sorts of things- growth spurts, night feeds and expressing which was very useful.

[edanna]

I think it's really important to give positive encouragement without the implication that formula is bad for babies or that women who bottle feed are bad mothers. When you have a baby who is dropping off the bottom of the weight chart even though everyone says your technique is fine and you have tried everything to increase your supply, as I did, you already feel bad enough that breastfeeding isn't working out as you had hoped without the disapproval of others when you start using a bottle. One midwife told my friend in the same situation that she had 'given in' when she started mixed feeding. So it's fantastic to give women support - I had lots and lots - but pro-breastfeeding often ends up being anti-formula. And formula sometimes is the answer. please don't perpetuate the myth that everyone can breastfeed or that women who don't or can't are failures.

[anna75]

I b'fed for about 2 weeks but most of my friends don't even consider it.

Their "real" feelings (to quote your query) are probably along the lines of great relief for these reasons:

1. they can get a good night's sleep ev two nights

3. Daddy can feed the baby all weekend while they sleep, if necessary

4. it is perfectly adequate and nutritious

5. they can get back to work asap

I read frequently on these boards about women feeling "guilty" about not bfeeding or or made to feel guilty by others (worse). There are so many studies that indicate formula is perfectly adequate for babies that I find this all very strange and have to ask - the third parties who make others feel badly about their choices, what are these people on??? Formula is quick, cheap, perfectly nutritious., the father can get involved and do his share of night feeds. In summary, it's great.

Now, this is not in any way to argue against bfeeding. I just think everyone should be left alone to do what she thinks right for her baby.

[Belle]

Anna75 - whilst I agree with some of what you're saying, as a fellow formula feeder (incidentally check out the Fearless Formula Feeder blog as it's v good on this stuff - pro choice rather than anti breastfeeding/pro formula, and v well informed http://fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com/ ) - I do think to be fair to the original poster that they were asking for input on breastfeeding counselling and what does and doesn't work. So it's kind of a given that those responding are probably keen to breastfeed - in which case I think they should be given all the help they might want. Personally it didn't work out for me and I do have strong views about feeding and choice, but that's for another thread.

[Lousylu]

I breastfed myself and was totally happy doing it - even after I went back to work. However, I know many people who couldn't, didn't, wouldn't and I don't feel they are any less a good mother than me. It is far more important that the mother is relaxed and happy than they force themselves to breast-feed. I was formula fed as my mother had severe mastitis and I've always been healthier than the average bear (touch wood) so I don't think it has much bearing on future health of babies at all - it's just what works for you and your bairn. That's what the message should be.

[anna75]

Belle, point taken - I was responding to this query in the original post.

"IF YOU DIDN'T BREASTFEED...we would especially love to hear from you as we want a 'REAL' view of how people feel about it"

Lousylu, Absolutely. we all try our best for these little rascals and we love them to the ends of the earth so for people to opine on others' choices of feeding isn't appropriate. it is all about freedom to choose. Exactly.

[R&A]

.

[Clarey999]

I would agree with the last post.

I am still breastfeeding and fully appreciate the benefits of doing so BUT at the start I wasn't able to get her latched on and I was terrified of having to FF cos although I knew it was OK to do so, I'd been terrified by various poster campaigns. So while you should of course spell out the benefits of breastfeeding, I'd say try to do it in such a way that doesn't make formula seem like cyanide! My little girl takes both quite happily now. ANd there are definitely advantages to being able to feed her both ways!

Also saying something like it can be hard to start with but this is the support that's available.

I felt like the midwives had little time to spend with me when I was having difficulty latching her on and I needed to talk through why it wasn't working rather than being manhandled. BUt the breastfeeding counsellor at Kings was great plus the breastfeeding cafes too.

[apenn]

For the breastfeeding peer support counselors:

After my (home) birth the midwife had me lay on my side for the first breastfeed. I think this was great because otherwise I probably would not have had the confidence to try this position right away. Feeding on my side enabled me to get much more sleep at night than I would have if I sat up for every feed. I think all midwives/health visitors should help new mothers with this!

Also, agree that validation and correction from the midwives visiting in the early days was very helpful.

-A

[Belle]

anna - sorry, I missed that point in the OP's message, my mistake.

[anna75]

Belle, not at all. thanks for the comment. :-)

[gwod]

I think that I would have maybe succeeded with b/feeding the two (of my four) children that I ended up bottlefeeding had there been feeding consultants as opposed to breastfeeding consultants. When things arent quite going to plan you have advice from either the hardcore "you must breastfeed or be deemed evil" or from the formula advertisers. I remember feeling that once I was considering offering a bottle, I could not consult with the midwives/hospital/la leche/nct any more and would have to take future information from the back of a packet. From this position its very hard get help or support to go back to mixed feeding, expressing and feeding or indeed to get back to fully breastfeeding. It feels like youve chosen to go to the dark side and therfore you're on you own.

Support for new mothers is the way forward - not doctrine.