Can you make roots in East Dulwich for a growing family?

[benb]

I live on the outskirts of East Dulwich with my wife and two kids; a three year old daughter, who turns 4 in August, and little boy who is one in May.

We absolutely love living here. My daughter has just got a place at Goodrich. We have a few friends (although they seem to be leaving all the time!), and my sister in-law and her husband live nearby in Peckham, with their 4 year old daughter. The girls are like sisters. Our flat ? which we are lucky enough to own ? is small for the four of us, but we are very happy in it. We can't afford somewhere bigger right now, but that's no motivation to leave the area. We could go over the hill to Honor Oak, or anywhere outside of the East Dulwich bubble, and maybe afford a little more. Life is good though, and we don't need any more!

The problem is transience. We want our children to have roots. We want them to make friends that will stick around, that they can grow up with, then venture off to uni, and come back home for regular reunions. We want them to have a group of friends that won't shrink as their parents pack up and leave town. We'd like some friends that will stay here too!

I don't see teenagers hanging around. Or packs of kids riding their bikes or kicking a ball. Do kids do that anymore? Or is it just our area? Am I being naive and this is what it looks like in other towns, out of town? Or is it because they just aren't here?

Does anyone on here have teenage kids? What have their experiences been? What do they do?! How do they feel? I'd ask some myself, it's just I never see them?

Thanks guys :)

[tomskip]

Have you seen the threads in The Family Room about the severe lack of secondary school places?

[klove]

I'm interested too... Our neighbours on both sides have teenage children who go to Charter, and hopefully Charter East Dulwich will help solve the secondary school issues tomskip referred to. They seem really happy but they have got 4 bedroom houses...

And I agree, the population of Ed seems really transitory. And maybe because you can get a lot more for your money moving out a bit, you're tempted to move when the kids get bigger??

[canela]

families move out because they can't afford to stay. house prices in the area have rocketed and many find themselves in a small flat which is fine when the kids are tiny, but more challenging as they got older, start needing separate bedrooms etc. If you plan and save for being able to move house at some point - or extend the house etc - and if you are in the kind of career that allows you to afford ED prices, then all good. Otherwise there comes a point when ED is just not an option, so you have to move out. It's not just ED, it's lots of places in London. I have lots of friends who suddenly make the move when kids get to about 8 or 9.

That being said, there are loads of teenagers in ED!!! Have you been to Dulwich Park on a summer evening?

[Dodo1]

I wouldn't worry too much. We moved to Sydenham after living in ED for 15 years and have spent just as much time in local restaurants as we did before!

Remember to anyone outside London 2 or 3 miles is nothing especially once they start secondary school and go all over London (or outside).

[LondonMix]

There are plenty of young families in houses around here. They themselves often have moved to ED from more expensive areas. As others have said, there are lots of teenagers about-- enough that a new secondary school is opening.

If most of the people you know with kids the same age as your children live in flats, then there is a greater chance they won't be in the area for the long haul. However, London in general is transitory. More people leave in their 30s than at any other point statistically so its these years that everyone feels the disruption the most.

[Cora]

We are in a very similar situation to you. Family of 5 in a two bedroom flat but every time we look to move we would miss too much and are happy here. Yes space would be great but to move just for space isn't enough for me when there is so much on offer. You say you are happy at the moment and I would just go with that. If and when the scales tip you will be in a great position to move and you will know why you are moving and what you are looking for.

I visited loads of secondary schools and they were all great so I don't think this is a major issue. I also find that you tend to notice children who are the same age as yours. Maybe that is why you are not noticing the teenagers, you're not mixing with that crowd yet or maybe they are just to busy doing stuff and not having to hang around on street corners?!

I imagine we will stay put as there is loads for us too, friendships being made over time and the boys will have a London base...Friends move out, but that gives you an excuse to visit them and get out of London and do home swaps with them when they want to get a London fix...who knows what might change in the future, but when it does we'll re-evaluate then.

[bornagain]

Of course there are loads of teenagers in ED and around, I have two of them.

They tend not to hang around where you hang around but as someone said earlier, have you been to any of the parks on a summer's evening?

They also frequent Starbucks, Nero's and each other's houses.

Mine like to take the bus uptown to Oxford Street, Covent Garden and beyond.

They have a much wider reach and have friends scattered - Forest Hill, Brockley, Peckham, Herne Hill, Brixton and beyond.

On the whole I think they have a great time living here.

[Curmudgeon]

My eldest child is 15 and still sees friends he went to primary school with, despite none of them going to his school ..in fact they all go to schools all around: Charter, Harris boys, Kingsdale and alleyns

My youngest is at a different school to her brother, she goes to Sydenham and seems very happy too

When your children go to primary you'll make a whole bunch of new friends

And your children will be friends, and they'll grow older and make friends whose parents you don't know ...which feels odd tbh but is something you get used to

It will be fine

[sillywoman]

"We want our children to have roots. We want them to make friends that will stick around, that they can grow up with, then venture off to uni, and come back home for regular reunions. We want them to have a group of friends that won't shrink as their parents pack up and leave town. We'd like some friends that will stay here too!"

We have four teenagers (or thereabouts). Our age range is 12-20 and we've lived in the same house in ED since just before the first was born. What you describe is exactly what our children have. They've all been/are going through the same primary and secondary school, they all have a group of friends some of whom they've known since babyhood.Pretty much all their friends live within walking distance of our home. Our eldest is at Uni and - yes- when she comes home she has huge reunions and a busy social life catching with all her oldest childhood friends.

As parents inevitably we've made many mistakes over the years, but the one thing we definitely got right for our children was to raise them here - they are strongly rooted here and tell us that we are not allowed to leave ED ever (something that may become an issue over the next few years)!

Our experience of ED hasn't been transitory at all, most people our kids went to school with at junior and even infant school are still around. It's the thing I find hardest to square in my mind whenever I think about moving out - there's such a quiet joy to be had in going to the shops and knowing that you're almost guaranteed to meet someone you know, or whose children you know. It will be hard to begin to build community all over again, especially when there's such a strong and lovely one here.

[clare]

Ditto what sillywoman says... one of my daughters currently travelling in India with her two chums she was at school with since Reception at Goodrich :)

[mrs.lotte]

I see loads of young teens; in the cinema, cafe Nero, skatepark, GBK. My son is 11 and we have no plans to move at all.

Nb no shortage of secondary places this year and charter ED opening means we are very well served.

[Coach Beth]

We have no plans to leave - my son is 11 and in year six. He has friends who he was at nursery with and is going to the new ED charter with kids he has known since nursery. He regularly plays football in the neighbourhood - pretty much every day after school at either Goose Green playground or at Warwick park. In fact, he has made lots of friends with kids from different primary schools merely from playing football in the park.

Like Cora, we have a small 2 bad flat - but it's manageable for the 3 of us and having a garden is helpful. Location is more important for us. I like the fact that I walk down Lordship lane and always seen and talk to at least someone I know and I like the fact that my son knows lots of kids in the neighbourhood.

I can see a situation where, if young families who can't afford to buy and are renting and paying crazy rents will be moving out more and more. At 45, I feel like I was one of the last generations who was able to buy her first property at a reasonable price - and my partner was also fortunate. So we don't have a big mortgage to worry about - we are both self-employed and that's another reason to stay put in our flat rather than upgrade to a house where we would have to take on a mortgage. Yet as prices go up and up and rents go up and up maybe we will see more families and people moving out. But in my age cohort I see lots of people staying around - I noticed if people were going to move out, they did so when the oldest was in years 1 or 2 or 3... after that, much less movement I think.

[tarafitness]

We're not going anywhere. We have a two year old and absolutely love this area. My 20 year old, however found it very difficult when we move here as having not been to school locally he didn't know how he could make friends.. there didn't seem to be any youth groups he could join.

However, we were lucky enough to buy a large house almost 6 years ago that needed a heck of a lot of work so was cheaper than most other places.

My son's best friend at nursery has just moved because his parents had a flat, and couldn't afford to buy a bigger place nearby. It's very sad, he keeps asking for him :'-(

[midivydale]

Tricky one, after 12 years I feel a really strong sense of belonging to the area and my son has so many friends. We have desperately outgrown our flat but as long as we stay a family of 3 I think we will stay put. I have looked at houses further afield and would love a garden, more storage etc but to me, this is home. I hope we can stay, we are looking into ways to extend our flat to make it work better for us. My dream is for my son to have what silly woman describes, "roots."