Breast Milk STINKS...............apparently

[FatherJack]

Now that I have your attention please take the time to read this........

Earlier today I was in the MIND Charity shop looking at the children's books. Close by was a woman with two young children aged about one and two. When suddenly a member of staff came over and sprayed air freshener around us and over our heads. The children started coughing and I said it was probably because of the spray. The mother said to me the smell is quite strong isn't it? At this point the sprayer said

"SO DOES YOUR MILK" and repeated it when the mother said I beg your pardon........

It was obvious something had happened before the spraying, I thought perhaps one of the kids had dropped a bottle of milk, but no. The store manager (the sprayer) was referring to the mother, breast feeding her younger child in the changing room!!!!!!!

Their conversation went as follows.......

Mother "I was in the changing room with the curtain closed"

Store Manager "NO you weren't it was half open, how did I know what you were doing??"

Mother "Perhaps you peeked through. Give me your name as I would like to complain"

Store Manager "My area manager is out the back now....I'll go and get him"

At this point I gave the mother my phone number and told her that I too would complain to the MIND head office, but I had to leave.

When I got home I called the head office and explained what I had seen/heard and Frank asked me and I quote.........

"Do you think the lady should have been breast-feeding in the changing room?"

I kept reasonably calm and said the shop didn"t appear busy, there wasn't a queue for the changing room and it probably meant that by feeding her baby in the changing room meant she could continue to shop and spend money.

Frank, then went on to compare MIND Grove Vale with Marks and Spencer and did I think M&S would mind their changing rooms used as a breast-feeding facility. I told him that was an inappropriate comparison, because at this point I felt I was speaking to someone who might spray an aerosol at any moment.

To the Mother you were very composed and handled the situation well but imagine if you were a new mum.......??

Rest assured I will write to the head office as his behaviour was rude and intimidating and he should NOT be dealing with member of the public.

I for one WILL NEVER re-visit this shop, and yes I walked up Grove Vale effin and jeffin !!!!!

Edited several times... obviously too angry at time of original post to punctuate, spell correctly etc etc too tired to double check now...

[ryedalema]

That is outrageous behaviour. Sometimes we have to bf or otherwise the pain is ecruciating. That aside - spraying

aerosol on someone is assault - what if they'd had asthma or an allergic reaction?

Something i'm not clear on though - did they actually think that it smelled? Or was this attack simply a reaction to the fact that she was doing it in their changing room?

[FatherJack]

Ryedalema......The "breast-feeding incident" was already over by the time I had entered the shop and I was unaware of any smell, but I will say this my nose has been subjected to more than a decade on/off of breast-feeding directly/indirectly and I have yet to detect a smell.

I have suggested signage to their head office, if they really find it that offensive/inappropriate.

Edited as original post quoted Bristol Bus Breastfeeding Incident.............

[sanity girl]

oh my god - that is disgusting behaviour! I am sorry that mind as a charity will be missing out, but I will not be donating to or using that shop again - I shall take my business elsewhere!

[Belle]

That's just ridiculous, and such a crazy way to react too, spraying air freshener! As you say lucky it wasn't a new/first-time mum, they might have been very intimidated by that.

[Ko]

what awful behaviour from the shop assistant!

[Ruth_Baldock]

That's awful! My son is 10 weeks old and on the (rare) occasions I do BF him in public, I've always seem to have a negative reaction from others :( I have to say as a new and unsure Mum, it doesn't help things one bit! I can imagine how that poor lady in the shop felt...

[sillywoman]

Do you have any link to contacts at MIND Father Jack? I rather feel this needs to go a little further, & perhaps those who want to could contact whoever it is at MIND HO & let them know a) How outdated, unhelpful, indefensible & offensive those views are; and b) That they won't be visiting any of their shops or supporting them in any way until they receive evidence that MIND volunteers/ employees are given clear guidance as to the unacceptability of this kind of attitude.

Don't they know what happened to facebook when it tried to ban pictures of women breastfeeding? I know who I think stinks - and it certainly isn't that poor Mum!

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

That is awful! I never breastfeed in public for fear of being subjected to such horrid behaviour! It means I am limited to only being out an hour at a time but I rather do that then have to put up with such idiotic views!

I cannot believe the amount of people who are so insulted and repulsed by women feeding their babies when they are hungry.

We are mammals, we have mammary glands in order to feed our offsprings, what is so disturbing about that?! I supposed breasts are looked upon as a sexual thing, so people find it offensive when we get them out to feed.

It might be 2010 but sadly attitudes are still very outdated!

Poor woman, I think we should all complain.

[R&A]

awful!!

The Chief Executive

Mind NAMH

15-19 Broadway

Stratford

London

E15 4BQ

Stage one of the complaints procedure (CP) is an informal complaint to the person involved - TICK

Stage two of the CP is write to CEO Address above

The complaint can be made by an individual or a group

[FatherJack]

Sillywoman....I requested an email contact but was only provided a postal address edited with email address see below.......

Mr Monteith

Managing Director of MIND Shops

15-19 Broadway

Stratford

London

E15 4BQ

I spoke with Frank Hawkins at the MIND HO, but given his responses and forced apology, I really don't feel his opinions to be any different to Steve, the manager at the East Dulwich shop.

The Head Office number is 020 8534 4040

The Chief Execs email courtesy of a Mums Net poster.......

p.farmer@mind.org.uk

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you have time or feel the urge.....complain about it, Facebook about it, tell you friends about it.

When I prepare my letter I will be quoting this forum and thread.

[Ko]

Fatherjack, you have my support. Well done for your input. Disgraceful behaviour from the shop. The poor woman.

[bizzylizzy]

I thought it was illegal to stop or complain about a woman breastfeeding in public? This is awful - poor woman!! I agree with pp above, surely spraying air freshener over someone is technically assault, if not, it is incredibly rude!

[sillywoman]

I'll be writing to them FJ, you can be sure of that.

[Belle]

i was just wondering about that bizzylizzy as I know some of the people who worked on the breastfeeding manifesto (which changed the law so that you cannot be stopped from breastfeeding in public) - wonder if it constitutes a public place? obviously they were wrong either way but would be helpful if it does count as one as they wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

[Ann]

I suppose one of the sad things about his thread is it took place in a charity shop in which the behaviour was anything but charitable.

MIND is a charity for Mental Health. It should recognise human behaviour in all aspects. People have problems but a mother meeting the nutritional needs of her young is normal behaviour by any standards.

Spraying fresh air spray around a mother and young children is one of the most ignorant acts I have ever heard of. You wouldn't do that to a customer who could have smelled for complex reasons in their life. ( Who hasn't shared public transport with someone with less than ideal hygiene?)

I understand others anger but wouldn't withhold support of charity. I'm sure this is not representative of the organisation as a whole, but thanks for posting FatherJack.

[dmr]

Hello! Someone posted a link to this thread on the Albany Mums Facebook page so hopefully Mind HQ will get snowed under with letters of complaint. I find this really shocking. May I suggest to contact La Leche League? Sometimes they have wonderful ideas...and a bit naughty...such as sending a bunch of really committed breast feeding mothers to the crime scene :) they will need to buy loads of air freshners to stop that smell I reckon!

I really feel for the poor lady that was breastfeeding. Hope she reads this thread.

[The Nappy Lady]

I am absolutely disgusted by this, I will be writing to head office too, and also, I have a good mind to pop into the shop next time I am in ED and tell the relevant staff what I think of them.

People like this should not be allowed to get away with it. Feeding your baby is a basic human right. They should be ashamed of themselves.

To the Mum involved, I hope you see this thread, and get a full apology from MIND in due course. They are lucky it wasn't me in there as I wouldn't have gone into a changing room, I'd have fed baby while I continued to shop, which I am sure would REALLY have disgusted them.

Molly

[dullwitch]

May I ask, could you describe the bloke who sprayed the aerosol please?

The reason I ask is that I have often encountered rude, and abrupt behaviour in the MIND shop and am wondering if it's the same person. I stopped going in there a while ago because of it.

Thanks.

[The Nappy Lady]

Soooo tempted to go down and stage a breast feeding sit in I can't tell you!!!!

[hanstands]

disgusted, shocked, saddened - poor Mum - there are many times when I have been out and about and I have just had to breastfeed right there and then for a variety of terribly good reasons [sometimes just to keep the peace for fellow shoppers and me!!] - and I have breastfed in changing rooms lots of times - the fact is its meant to be a place of privacy in the first place - no one should have been looking never mind looking then assaulting...poor lady.:'(

[snowboarder]

Whilst yep this mans reaction was totally out of order (how ODD he thought breast milk smells) - I don't think it would ever occur to me to b/f in a changing room in a charity shop...cafes/parks/pubs/even a loo etc yes - and there are loads of b/feeding friendly places on lordship lane. I do think I might have quickly asked if it was ok to use the changing room first - so avoiding the aerosol behavior. Just a comment - not trying to support him in any way! I suppose I was pretty lucky it was summer when I was doing most of my b/f on the move so any park bench would do - and these days the little one can certainly wait. Sounds like the mum was pretty cool though.

Am happy to go down there tomorrow and breastfeed right out in the open of the shop.... standing up maybe? Molly you too?

[The Nappy Lady]

You bet...(though am on for my first lie in for 3 weeks, so would have to be in the afternoon!!!

[FatherJack]

Dullwitch...... tattoos and facial piercings....very distinctive!

[sillywoman]

Tell me if you're going ladies & I'll come down with me placard! Was thinking that probably a week from today would stand a better chance of the same person being on shift?