toddler holding in urine

[scotlass]

Hi there,

Was hoping someone else has experienced this and could offer some tips...

I began potty training my 28 month old girl on Friday as i was pretty sure she was ready. She has been very happy to sit on the potty for long periods and tells me when she has done a poo in her nappy etc.

After breakfast on the Friday I put her in her big girl pants and explained what was happening and kept reminding her to sit on the potty. She managed to hold in her pee until after 1pm! A little trickle would come out when sitting on the potty and she'd then clamp her legs shut and asked for a cuddle or to be carried and did actually say that she was scared.

Eventually after holding for so long she peed on the floor but i managed to put her on the potty for the last few drops! She seemed really pleased afterwards that she had managed to pee in the potty but didn't do a pee again until she was in her night time nappy.

I tried again on Saturday but gave up by 3pm as she just wouldn't release all day. Even when i put her nappy on she was still holding it in and just wanted cuddled and carried.

It was so heartbreaking to see and i can't believe i've put her through that. overnight she did a poo and her nappy was wet but she was still holding this morning for a good couple of hours. She's eventually wet her nappy and seems to be back to normal now.

She's clearly not ready to be potty trained but i do worry that this fear will not go away. any thoughts on what i can do?

[The Nappy Lady]

scotlass, my daughter did this about poos, though was fine about weeing on the potty. It is very upsetting.

I think you are right to have put her back in nappies.

What I would do now is try to talk to her about how big girls do wees and poos on the potty, take her into the loo with you (if you don't already), and show her (grim I know) how you use the toilet, and how much nicer it is than being in a wet nappy etc. etc.

Get a potty training book (I got "Potty Training for Girls" which included a start chart and stars and read it to her every day for a week or so.

Also, try to explain to her about why we wee and poo - once I talked to my daughter, in terms she could understand about how poo was just the left over bits from the food we eat, that our body cannot use etc. etc. and that it therefore has to be 'thrown away' by coming out of our bottoms she seemed a lot better.

Finally, you could try cutting a hole in her disposable nappy, so she has the security of wearing it, but obviously needs to sit on the potty to do what she needs to do...sometimes this does the trick, and after a few times they get over the fear.

It is very common, so try not to worry. The good news is if she is able to hold the wee for so long then she is certainly ready to potty train, she just needs to get over the fear, and hopefully the combined approach above will do that.

Oh - maybe if she had friends who are now using the potty get them around to show her too?

And if she does get stressed again, go back to nappies for a few days and then try again.

You will get there....good luck.

Molly

x

[scotlass]

Thanks Molly, some great suggestions there. I love the idea of her friends showing her how they do it, will definitely try that out.

We had another crying fit tonight. Not wanting to pee and she's had her nappy on all day. She eventually did one in the bath and cried through it but was so relieved afterwards. I'm just wondering if there's a little bit more to this. Perhaps a urinary infection. I'll see how she goes tomorrow and them maybe take her to the doctor for a check x

[The Nappy Lady]

was about to say UTI as I read the post.

Hope she is OK. Let us know how you get on.

[chuck]

Hi there

My daughter did exactly the same thing when i potty trained her at 2 and half. It is very upsetting and frustrating as the holding on shows they have bladder control and are ready for it. i tried sticker charts, chocolate treats and everything else they recommend but to no avail In the end i bought a little toy she had coveted for sometime - something she really, really wanted. I showed it to her and then put on a high shelf and said when she had wee-ed in her potty for a week she could have it. Next thing i know she goes straight to the potty sits down and does a wee - no hysterics, nothing. We never looked back. No accidents since that day. And in fact the same tactic worked 3 weeks later when she came out of night time nappies. Some children are very strong minded and like to be in control and make the decision themselves and sometimes they just need the right nudge to make that decision. Obviously all children are different and no one ever wants to put them under unnecessary stress so think what is right in your own particular case.

[emza78]

Hello,

Was just googling this very thing and good old edf came up so thought I'd resurrect...

We started potty training 2.7 year old last Sunday, it was all going pretty well, by tue no accidents and lots of sitting on potty but only a dribble at a time, I could tell she still needed to go as soon as she stood up. Anyway, she then got an awful cold coupled with molar teething, had a temperature and generally totally not in the mood for potty training so we just put her back in nappies and thought would try again in a month or so.

However (I'm getting to the point now!) she now seems to still be holding in her wee's even in her nappies, like op she seems to be scared of going at all now. She's been obviously really uncomfortable all day today, wants lots of cuddles and very fidgety. Refused bath for last few days and constantly holding herself. I've tried reassuring saying its ok to do wee wee in nappy ( and bath!) but it doesn't seem to be helping. She's only had 2 practically dry nappies today, despite drinking a lot but even with the sun doesn't seem much, I guess it will all come out tonight...

She's also not done a "proper" poo for a week...same reasons?

Any advice gratefully received, my instinct is not to mention potty again for a few weeks unless she brings it up?

Oh btw I don't think she has uti, the temperature started a bit before the holding in episodes but may still take to gp just to check.

[EGL]

Hi

My eldest did this to the point where he did get a bit poorly, so we stopped potty training. Clearly, although he understood what the potty was for etc., he just didn't want to use it. He's very independent and wants everything to have been his idea, so we just waited. Shortly after he turned 3, he decided he wanted to use the toilet/potty, so he did. We've hardly had any accidents and now he takes himself to the toilet without being reminded. He's 3 yrs 5 months. If I were you, I'd just put her back in nappies for the time being.

[jennyh]

Just to ask another opinion on this, in process of potty training my 27 month old and she is doing ok and I don't think she has any major emotional issues except for getting annoyed with me asking her all the time! I thought she would need to go all the time but it seems she only wees every 3 hours or so...is that normal for this age!??? Or is she holding it in? Doesn't seem in pain when she does go and it is always a full wee and usually quite yellow in colour. Is she just able to hold it a long time?

[StraferJack]

Ours can go a lot longer than 3 hours.

I think we forget that when they were wee babies we were as worried about nappies. How long since last one? It's been 2 days since a poo etc

They seem to use potty training as an exercise in self control. There may be mishaps along the way. But unless its weeks without some action I wouldn't worry unduly. Their body will overrule their elementary stroppiness

[SBot]

She clearly has control of her bladder! But yes I would leave it for a month or so. Maybe do sticker/reward charts. Also increase how much she drinks, then she'll need to go more often. She'll get there in the end. Good luck.