Yorkie

So, Friday. Shall we three muskateers attempt it or shall I give up & post again in the new year when we're on post Xmas slump & need cheering up?? Yx ps the badges are in, see other thread.

Indeed, I was thinking adventure playground more for a family get together. My 16th month old does not stop so my conversations are always half shouted across the room as I try to prevent her escaping from wherever we are! I'm finishing work on the 17th, OH is not working Xmas Eve for the first time since we've been together so for once we won't be driving up the A1 on Christmas Eve. We're off Oop North on the 22nd but am tied up really the days before. Shall we bump to January? I'm happy to go out next Friday but I think 3 of us is too few considering the potential for colds/babysitting/poorly babies scuppering mother's plans!

Meant to add, Kateland offered the adventure playground for a family meet up, which might be a nice way of socializing with kids for those who are looking for more friendly/familiar faces at other groups etc. Maybe something to look at in the New Year.

So that's 3 for next Friday? Any advances? Ruth, come & drink a St Clements with us! I'd rather do a Fri/Sat night as OH will do the morning after wake-up and I just can't work with any kind of hangover these days but could possibly try (to drink less) a Thursday if better for more folk?

So I was re-reading the self-esteem thread and it seems to me like we'd have much more fun getting to know each other with a glass of wine in hand and someone else minding the baby. Let's have a night out! Are your diaries already full of festive frolics or can we squeeze a Friday/Sat meet-up in somewhere? 10th/11th Dec any good?

Now that's what the badges should've said! I'd like a biscuit badge please. I don't post that often but am frequently lurking late evening/early morning. The family room has kept me sane during what has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Learning how to parent is tough and no-one tells you that. Or if they do you don't really believe them... Like others have already said, it's knowing you're not alone in feeling that way. I've had some amazingly supportive responses to my woes, small and large. They were all real worries at the time. Also, if you were stuck with something at work you'd ask your colleagues/friends/boss for some help woulnd't you. We should treat this job, one of our most important ones, in the same way. Ask for help, seek reassurance we're doing it "right" and remember that if your baby was scoring your annual appraisal s/he'd always give you a 10 :-) (& er her comes the self-doubt bit, just read it back & realized work analogy sounds a bit naff but have resisted urge to edit!)

Well I'm weeping & I haven't even clicked on any links yet! Am lying next to my lovely girl having just sung her back to sleep for probably the 400th time in her 16months. I don't really have a song for her, most of the above set me off though. I do think that in becoming a mother you lose a layer of skin which never grows back, my emotions are so much rawer than they used to be, probably because I give so much of myself to her. Molly your mum's poems are beautiful, what a wonderful gift from her to you.

hurrah hurrah, fab news. Congratulations Supergolden (& hubby!). I've been thinking of you all day. I was booked for an induction last year and things managed to move naturally just in time too. So pleased it worked out for you. Hope your post natal night passes quietly and quickly and that you get back home very soon. Night night to you & your lovely boy X

I found a lost teddy bear in the park this afternoon. Quite small, cream and brown. We left him sitting on the bench opposite the flower beds on the right hand side as you enter through the main gates.

oh my god, they can get out of grobags?! I had no idea... My daughter's just 14mths and I'm too contemplating pillow/bedding. Everything I've read says not to use before 1. We're finally weaning her off a midnight feed (switched breast to bottle to Daddy & bottle to nothing but cuddles/sshing) although she's still waking before morning sometimes but falls asleep on the feeding pillow v happily. It seems a bit mad to put that in the cot (and presumably might not be the safest) which is why I wondered about getting her one of her own. Then again it might be that it smells of me/you Ruth which is why they like it so much. As with most things I'm discovering in this mad new world of motherhood, there are very few definitive answers.

My OH does FT childcare of our 14mth, he goes to Bookstart for Dads @ Peckham Library 10-12am every Friday. It's run by a Father Development Worker, Theo, who may know about other things too. We've found that fathers specific stuff is often on a weekend. Most of the groups are mummy heavy, inevitably I suppose, but don't let that put you off. Good luck & enjoy your new job! You'll have such a special bond with your little one.

I definitely felt that extra glass when baby decided 5.45 was breakfast time. I think it was all out of my system... but OH took over from 7 and I went back to bed, hurrah! I had a lovely night, thanks all x

Hello room, I've been meaning to post a reply to thank everyone for their brilliant responses to my "help I'm drowning" thread of a couple of months ago (PND or just stressed) but simply haven't managed to find the time. Sorry. As so many of you amazing mums who helped me are also going to the drinks I thought I'd come along too and thank you all in person. Things are a little better at home (have been to Drs and got a cleaner!) and my spirits will definitely be lifted by a large glass of red in such good company :-)

You're all right, I am a perfectionist and I'm worried I'm losing respect for him. I have ridiculously high expectations of myself (and OH too, let's be honest). Interestingly though I am a bit of a slacker on the domestic front, always have been, but I just notice it more now we have a baby crawling everywhere and it adds to the out-of-control feeling. Amazingly she's asleep already tonight so am going to go talk to my boy. I hear what you're saying and I do love him really and we need to sort it out. X

Oh forum I feel better already, thanks so much. I am definitely doing too much (posted in my lunch hour and have been scooting back to read response whilst completing work!) and maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else. It?s also a year today that I left work to start my Maternity Leave so I don?t think that?s helped either. We?ve been having a shocking week as her daytime naps have gone to pot which has impacted on bedtime so she?s taking an age to settle, which means I am even more knackered than normal and eating too late etc. We did have a routine of me going to bed early and her taking a bottle (we?re mix feeding anyway) from daddy but the timings went awry a few weeks ago and I?ve ended up back doing it. Mainly because it was easier to just bring her into bed as I would be back asleep quickly. I think I need to get tough on that first and insist back to OH that it?s his job whilst trying to manipulate the timing. And get a cleaner. I do have a few days off the week after next and we have a holiday booked for a week in August. Away to a cottage, just the three of us near the beach and hills. So it?ll either kill us off completely or help me get some perspective! I think I?ll go and see my GP anyway. Right, must leave work on time and go and cuddle my lovely girl. Thanks again for your support, it really means a lot.

Hi forum, I need your help... I've been back at work for almost three months (baby is 1 next week) and am really struggling to cope. My job is quite demanding and I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I think the twin roles of Mother and Worker are overwhelming me. I have been very good at leaving on time and saying No to extra stuff so am still able to do Morn/Eve breastfeeds but I average 5 hours sleep a night as she still wakes at 12 and 5. I had to go back full time as I have the better paid job and OH took redundancy so he's doing the stay at home Dad thing. I was happy with this as surely it's the next best thing to me (you know what I mean) and would mean less running around to a child minder or nursery. What I wasn't prepared for was the searing anger I feel towards him. I'm so cross that he's at home and not me, and resentful when he only "manages" to do baby stuff and nothing domestic. I'd be outraged if anyone said that about a mum at home but it's honestly how I feel. I never expected to feel like this. I thought I would be grateful we didn't go down the childcare route. We're fighting quite a bit (my stress has always come out in anger) and I'm worried about our relationship and the impact on baby. I've not wanted to hurt her but I have resented her when she won't go to sleep and all I want is a break at the end of an exhausting day. I've always been a bit of a highly strung stress bunny and I was wary of post natal depression but the early months were fine, I felt a bit bonkers in a "normal" postnatal way ? laughing amongst the tears/shock of becoming a mum etc. I fed on demand and have tended towards the baby led in my parenting style which really suited me, contrary to my work persona. I was very happy on maternity leave. So my question is; could this be very late post natal depression? Or is it just normal back to work/sleep deprived parental blues? I guess you'd be jealous of a child minder too? I?m wondering if it?s the contradiction between how I am at home and how I am at work that?s getting to me. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Are there any support groups for FT working mums out there? None of my friends or family with babies went back FT so am feeling a bit isolated. Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received, I can?t decide if I should go to my GPs for some medication (but don?t want to stop breastfeeding just yet) or counselling or if I just need to get a grip on my stress levels. Something?s got to give and at the moment it?s looking like it?s my mental health which just can?t be good for anyone. Thanks for listening.

Hi Ruth, I've been mix feeding since 7 months and just used the Aptamil one that's suitable from birth. I was v dubious about follow on too (OH thought we should be using it, I blame the adverts!) but as she took to the formula so well,having been such a sicky baby who developed allergies as soon as we started solids, I didn't fancy rocking the boat. I'm sure a HV (or book or website, paranoid first mum have done a lot of reading...) said that you could just keep going with whichever formula you'd started baby on.

LLL did come to Nunhead a few years ago Molly, but they filmed Phil outside The Green on ED Road! Glad to see tonight's episode actually was in ED. I'm also in the SE Corner of Nunhead. Yes there's nothing EDish over here but that's why we could afford to buy our flat and I loved the walk through PRye Park every day with my baby. You can even walk to Brockley/bus to New Cross Gate in 15 mins now the East London Line is back too.

thanks Molly, and yes I remain in complete awe of mother nature!

I think... a. I should write shorter posts so they don't disappear on my iPhone's edit screen b. That with your hours and baby S's age you may well be able to follow your normal feeding patterns without the need to switch or express.

Hi Ruth, I've just done my first week back at work and my daughter is exactly 9 months. I've been doing morning and evening b/f's and she takes a bottle of formula in the afternoon. Like you I wondered about the logistics (I posted here a few months ago) and as per the advice above your body does really regulate itself. I was surprised by how quickly my daughter dropped her day feeds once we'd started solids (down to only 2 then quite soon after just the afternoon one). I switched from breast to bottle about 10 days before I went back and it's been fine. I haven't leaked or needed to express at work. They would have accommodated me (in HR manager's office at lunchtime) but I decided to mix feed. Will be interesting to see if I do the bottle now we're at the weekend. Am just having a snuggly evening feed with my girl now and it's such a lovely thing after being away from her all day. I'm so grateful that I've had my baby when stat mat pay is 9 months not 6, it's made going back to work much more manageable (from a b/feeding perspetive if nothing else! I think

I was crying before the opening credits had even finished, Emma was amazing and hurrah for Izzie. What a powerful programme this is.

That birth made my OH stop watching the footie on his laptop and shed a tear with me. Was the closest to our birth. What an amazing programme.

Hi, Kings actually has a sep A&E for children* turn right not left when you go in. I had to take my baby there when she was only a few weeks old and it was such a relief to not be stuck in the adults bit. Hopefully you'll never need to go there but nice to know just in case. *in Sep 09 it did, am assuming it's still like that.

Thanks everyone, interesting to hear how the body regulates itself and I hadn't even thought about continuing at weekends, that sounds like a good plan. I'm lucky in that she takes a bottle and cup already but it's reassuring to hear that they do cope with just water. I was wondering about engorgement, good tip re taking the pump with me just in case. I wasn't planning on regularly expressing but always best to be prepared eh. Molly, your posts are always so wise. Whilst I don't really want to go back, I always knew I'd have to (senior breadwinner, partner doing childcare - that's a whole different post...) and I have to say the thought of actually being able to read the paper on the day of publication is something I'm really looking forward to. Ooh and drinking a hot cup of coffee slowly, with both hands.