R&A

today is my first day on my own too. I waited for the baby's lunchtime nap and ran around, showering, eating, tidying and putting the washing on etc. keen to hear top tips too though my saving grace has been a battery powered baby monitor which i can take with me as i run around doing all the chores whilst he sleeps it's the loneliness that i'm not looking forward to - a tougher nut to crack - saying that east dulwich must be a better place than most for mum/baby events

thanks for the advice SW i have pm-ed you

I completely understand that an epidural too early is not ideal and too late is probably a waste of time but why on earth was i not given one after my consistent requests before during (every 30 mins) and after? 1) The midwife bragged to me about 'no doctors being required for all of the births the previous day' 2) I was having 3 in 10 contractions by 11pm (at which time my parnter was sent home) and i relayed my frequency of contractions to the midwifes at reception each time i walked past reception which was all the time as walking helped ease the pain. 3) I asked at reception every 30 mins or so from 11pm to 3am/4am for more pain relief 4) It was the doctor who eventually gave me gas and air and then promised me to arrange an epidural for me 'in an hours time' i.e. 3am even though it wasn't her job to arrange for gas and air 5) The doctor said i could have an epidural during my labour but this was then denied at reception when i followed it up and the doctor had left the antenatal ward and couldn't verify this promise 6) i was examied 3 times during the course of my labour in the antenatal ward. Strange that i was never within the crucial gap of 3/4cm to 9cm??? 7) A ventouse was used during my delivery anyway I have since spoken with other new mothers who had similar experiences One was told the doctor required to do the epidural was in theatre and couldn't come for another half hour half an hour came and went ... the doctor was in the room next door and had not been told about the epidural request and was never even in theatre.. I'm ranting and i'm angry (tired today) and i'm sorry if this comes across as moody and aggressive but I feel as though those woman who want pain relief from the off are denied it because it does'nt fit with how some midwives think we 'should' be giving birth and also i can't help feel like i was a pawn in some petty infighting between doctors and midwives.. there .. i've said it.

Breastfeeding advice at kings: My experience was half hearted attempts at showing me how to breastfeed. The advice was that i was 'doing fine' yet somehow my baby ended up in special care for dehydration... the advice and help i received from a counsellor arranged by the special care unit was second to none and completely different to the advice i had been given by the midwives on the ward. Labour ward at kings: My experience of the labour ward was pretty minimal as i was only there for the delivery of the baby (20 minutes). I was kept in the antenatal ward for the whole of my labour because i was not deemed to be in 'established' labour, despite sounding like a horse and rocking backwards and forwards on my own in the toilet next to the reception where the midwives were happily sitting and chatting at 3am in the morning. The ward was half empty that night - the staff were not busy... Pain relief at kings: i was refused an epidural because i was 'too early' and then because i was 'too late' in the labour process. I don?t' understand why it's not up to me whether i get pain relief or not? Surely it's my pain? Despite the doctor having said i could have one the midwives just said 'no one told us she was having one' I'm really angry about this one because i specifically asked for an epidural 12 hours before i went into labour (i was in hospital because my waters broke early), during the labour and at the end of the labour. Yet i did not receive an epidural in fact i was just point blank refused on ALL occasions.

sorry if i'm hijacking this thread ... Here's the first of two complaint letters i will be posting to PALS as a few people suggested i should. The second letter will focus on the birth and the first letter on the costly downward spiral poor breastfeeding advice has on new born babies. LETTER ONE TO PALS REGARDING BREASTFEEDING NEWBORNS AT KINGS Re: Admission of Ms R&A and baby (dob **/**:** and **/12/09) I wish to complain about the care I received in your hospital; not about any member of staff, all of whom treated me well, but the system that I was in. This is what happened to me: 1. I gave birth to my son in hospital on **/12/09. 2. For two days I could not get him to latch on at all to breast feed so he received no colustrum or any other fluids. 3. Blood tests suggested he was dehydrated 4. I asked for him to be given sugar water orally to rehydrate him but this was refused as it is against hospital policy. 5. He became so dehydrated that he was admitted to SCBU for intravenous sugar water. 6. I was finally introduced to an exceptional breast feeding counsellor who helped me to successfully breastfeed I am a healthy mum and he is a healthy baby. There are clearly two interventions that could have prevented an ITU admission here. Firstly, if anyone had been able to successfully show me how to latch him on from the start then he would not have become dehydrated. Secondly, if we had been allowed to rehydrate him orally once he had become dehydrated he would not have needed intravenous rehydration. I am particularly baffled by the argument that giving oral fluids is banned because it might undermine breastfeeding. What undermined breastfeeding in this situation was: 1. Not being taught how to do it. 2. Having the baby removed from mum to SCBU. 3. Having him use up all his energy screaming about blood tests and intravenous insertions that he was too exhausted to feed. I urge you to reconsider your hospital policy on rehydration. A fortune is being wasted on ITU beds for healthy children (?We see this all the time?), let alone the unpleasantness and risk that an ITU admission entails. Please can you consider spending some of the money saved on ITU on having a breastfeeding counsellor on the post natal ward or training at least some of your midwives to be breastfeeding counsellors. Yours faithfully, Ms R&A

Thanks for your kind comments everyone. I will be writing to kings mainly because what happened to me just doesn't seem like a one off. If it was down to bad luck i'd accept what happened and move on. however, from speaking to other patients/friends/nct women it isn't a one off - the same bad events/errors happen time and time again. There were three main serious conclusions that i will try and pass onto other women in future and would be the basis of any letter i write to kings.... 1) If you want an epidural - ask a doctor 2) '1 in 2 episiotomies get infected' - this is a quote from a midwife - push for proper salt baths or equivalent if you're still in hospital. I was denied this and just told to rinse with water. Again if you think you have an infection ask for a doctor. 3) 'More than half the babies in special care are in for dehydration' - quote from a nurse in special care. - push for a proper breast feeding counsellor and do not rely on midwives who do not get trained in breast feeding If i had been told any of the above i may have been home for xmas instead of both of us lying sick in hospital Consistent care may not have helped as at least the high staff turnover meant i was exposed to the good midwives at some point during my (preventable) 7-day stay

I spent most of my labour in a toilet in the antenatal ward on my own (my partner was sent home) so that i didn't wake the other patients up as i was making so much noise. This was just 2 weeks ago. The midwives didn't think i was far gone enough to send me to the labour ward... never mind arrange for the epidural i had requested before i even went into labour. It was only when i started pushing that they believed me (!) and thankfully my partner arrived in time as i was rushed to the labour ward being shouted at 'not to deliver down here' I should have read the warning signs when the midwives bragged that the previous day they only had 'natural' deliveries with no doctors needed... The midwife who came up to the labour ward with me had an argument with another member of staff in front of me (whilst i was pushing) about the fact she didn't know where anything was in the labour room and she wasn't meant to be doing deliveries. She delivered the baby but i certainly didn't feel safe Had i known the care would have been so poor i would definitely have paid up for consistent and quality treatment - no question about that. The after care was even worse. Every day i had to explain my story to a new midwife. Each time i was given inconsistent advice and sometimes medically questionable. e.g. you don't need to have salt baths, you just need to rinse with water... I pleaded with each new midwife that my episiotomy didn't feel right and i thought it was infected. I was fobbed off for two days. Eventually a midwife told me it 'looked fine to her' but took a swab anyway. That swab was lost... I managed to grab a doctor the next day who dealt with me properly and informed me it was infected as i had feared. I am on a 15 day course of antibiotics and now have thrush which is making breast feeding impossible. My episiotomy has broken down and i have to go back to be re-mended in a few month's time one midwife told me 'off the record' to go to a health shop for a natural remedy for my infection...?! unfortunately this comment didn't surprise me and i didn't have the energy to say anything i think my situation was made worse by the fact it was over xmas (poor weather etc) and staff turnover was probably greater due to people being off on holiday. Also there were one or two really amazing midwifes but they were in the minority. I found the care given by the doctors to be truly amazing and i'm very grateful to them. Anyway - i'm happy with the new arrival. A fantastic xmas present

Does anyone understand this fully? How many babies in total get HIE at Kings? If I understand the stats properly - nearly half (42%) of all the HIE cases occurred in just 4% of births If there were say 2 cases of HIE and one case was an albany case, then the stat doesn't really mean much However if there were say 42 cases out of 100 cases in total - it looks significant... So the % stats cant' be interpreted without the total figures.. or maybe i'm being stupid Do they give reasons as top the cause of this? Is this a risk of having a birth at home? or is it attributed to Albany themselves? Could they be being unfairly penalised because they do a much higher rate of home births where there aren't the A&E facilities available that you get at hospital?

'Snow lands with a loud THUD on London... ' a famous quote apparently and quite true it seems! I have to say I'm a bit disappointed at today's dusting :(

i was due yesterday and i'm really really scared. If i hadn't heard the horror stories from my friends, i'd have found them on line anyway. It's easy to research how/when/where things can go wrong if that's the sort of person you are. however, that's how some people deal with major events. I'm the same with exams or moving house etc. if you think it's going to be TERRIBLE at least then you're prepared or you could be surprised that it wasn't as bad as you'd feared... I think i heard this approached being called 'defensive pessimism' or something On the positive side I'm not going to feel like i've 'failed' cos i haven't followed my birth plan. Hopefully i'm prepared for the unexpected. I think that's probably as prepared as you can be... fingers xed

I once parked down a road with bays marked 8:30am - 6:30pm all the way down the very long road I didn't notice that the last bay they had changed the times to 8:30am -8:30pm... It was dusk. Had i seen the change of course i would never have parked there. Still it was my error but it seemed quite sneaky and it was a genuine mistake. Then i got a ticket parking next to a 'dropped pavement'. I've never even heard of a dropped pavement. There were no yellow or red lines to speak of. It didn't cross my mind that you weren't allowed to park there. Anyway - both my fault but through sheer mistake and not malice or laziness. ?120 seems like a hefty fine for two genuine mistakes?

to send cheques and not cash .. just had a (very large) xmas card posted through my letter box at 4pm (fairly late in the day and no other post with it) which had been quite blatantly opened

You are not in the minority LittleEDFamily. I too am rather enjoying life's 'no-man's-land' that is the period between work and the baby being born. The pineapples are sitting in the kitchen.. getting riper and the rasberry leaf tea packet remains unopened.... I'm pretty scared about the birth. The pain is now less of a concern as i hear and read first and second hand stories of the risks etc involved in childbirth. i'm 39 weeks now and happy to see myself going over due... i'm quite clearly in denial. I'm even seeing the bonus of being induced in that i then don't have the stress of being turned away from hospital for not being dilated enough / getting proper medical care and monitoring of the baby... and/or not having to endure 40 hours of labour etc etc sorry this has turned out quite gloomy indeed... when ironically i'm feeling very happy right now i'm sure i'll be thrilled once he comes out :)

No - just the one baby It's more the flexibility that those hours allow. I wouldn't plan on doing those full days but i dont' want the stress of having to be back by 6pm if i run over at work.. or if i need to be in early i can be etc Ruskin do 7am till 7pm thnx for the link :)

Is there a directory of nurseries in the area? Or is it all ad hoc and word of mouth? I'm looking for nurseries for 6 month old babies from July 1st 2010? Ideally 7am until 7pm? OR does anyone know of any in the area? I think Ruskin and Camberwell Grove look after babies that young Anyone know anywhere else?

Aldershot (o yrs) Hong kong (6 mnths - 1.5yrs) Mr Ben - Agree a weird switch - these are all army bases until i left home to go to uni Fleet (1.5-3yrs) Sevenoaks (4-7 yrs) Rintiln (sp?), germany (7-8 yrs) Herford, germany 2x (9-10 yrs then moved 10-11yrs) Nero - Dont' remember Katten Studden and was too young to drink :( but it was in the mid to late 80s so perhaps she knew my M&D? Reindalen (sp), germany (12yrs - 13yrs) Tunbridge wells (13-16yrs) & Andover (14-15yrs) Morpeth, newcastle (17yrs) Elephant and castle & brixton (18yrs) Manchester, oxford rd (18yrs-19yrs) Nottingham, lenton (missed this one) (19yrs) Manchester, withington (20yrs) Old kent road (21yrs) Peckham, north (21yrs - 23yrs) Queens rd Peckham, north (23-25yrs) Peckham, south (25-30yrs) Peckham/ED borders (last road in Peckham) (31yrs)

http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/uk/mothers+protest+at+maternity+closure/3453242 Summary if the link doesn't work: According to this report Kings are claiming that Albany had a significantly higher no. of babies admitted to their neonatal ward. Albany have said that Kings are 'cherry picking' evidence and that stats are not real. Government policy has been to give all woman the choice to have babies at home which Albany have been promoting A midwife then said that it smacked of doctors bullying midwives again

I heard that in Sainsburys too - it was for Woman's refuge. They were asking for small toys for woman to give to their kids for xmas.

I do like foxes just not what they leave behind so i don't want to shoot or harm them Thanks for the vinegar tip! - maybe that's where i've going wrong (bleach)

I know this isn't 'poached' but it's the same yummy result i usually boil the eggs in their shells for 5.5mins I then carefully crack and peel(with a quick rinse under cold tap) and put onto toast there are advantages to this method: 1) Pan very easily cleaned cos just had boiling water in it 2) never too soft/too hard 3) your toast doestn' go soggy cos of water from traditional poached eggs 4) No need to monitor / stir 5) No trace vinegar taste (yucky) yum yum!

i live just off ondine road and recently i've woken up (daily) to a new deposit in my front garden. I think it's a fox though? Any ideas how to put foxes off using my front garden as a loo. It's too much for it to be a cat and always done overnight so i dont' think it's a dog... .. i put bleach down but that hasn't worked :( i feel for you all clearing it off your kids shoes - it's disgusting - i'm due to give birth next week and it's making me gag each time i have to clear it up

you set the bar too high with that one! Very beautiful Mine looks like the back of a bus in comparison....

Very helpful thanks for your posts

Can anyone help? I'm researching state and public schools in the area but only know of Dulwich College for boys Are there any other private schools for boys? Reception/primary age (with playing fields) thanks

I was trying to address your point regarding house prices and i'm sorry if i don't have good technique. I'm not a lawyer or a trained debater, i'm a member of the public trying to stick up for a local campaign. As Boris heads up transport surely it's his job (alongside the transport minister etc) to weigh up the pros and cons for various different areas of greater london. All we can do is put our area's case forward. There's nothing stopping other areas doing the same thing. I think your point is valid IF we were discussing new services for the area. The facts are the SLL is an established service that is being removed. It's like being forced to reapply for your current job. I suggested we take this discussion off this thread as we're going round in circles and i feel it's getting personal. Happy for you to PM me or you could start a thread in the lounge... No wonder Eileen starts a new thread each time .....