mumof3girlies

Leaglebeagle - your post nearly made me cry - so eloquent and moving. Snowboarder - don't worry I am sure you are doing a fantastic job, you remind me a lot of myself with my first child, I had wanted a baby for years and when she came along I wanted to get everything right, I remember lying in bed when she was exactly 15 months old thinking: "her diet is so limited, her sleep is terrible.." but then you hit a better patch and you feel less despondent, my eldest is now 8 years old and a fantastic eater, bright, articulate, a bit moody at times but they all turn out OK. My yongest is 18 months and by far the most meddlesome, tantrum prone, worst sleeper of the lot but I know (hope) she will turn out OK too and I don't have as much time to worry about her as she is one of 3. Parenting is the hardest job of all but nobody really tells you that before you have kids, and especially if you are a full time mum, becase you have no distraction/somewhere else to go to feel you doing a good job and where you are appreciated. I have to say that working 2 days a week has been a real sanity saver for me personally as I gain a bit of perspective away from my failings as a mother! (I have been lucky too as my husband has always looked after the childen when I work as he is self employed.) Just wait until another mother comes up and tells you as much you are a rubbish mother at the park because your older children are picking up the toddler (see my post on pregnant woman smoking thread p9) grrr..

Just as a BTW, I don't really believe that it was lig in Goose Green on Friday, I was more drawing a comparison of how some people, feel they have to concern themselves with other people's business when they would do far better worrying about their own lives/families/children etc. etc. I think Lawrence is right on the button on what was wrong with Lig's behaviour, it seems some people either are unable to keep their mouths shut when they disapprove of something , or they frankly don't give a s**t about another people's feelings - who knows what camp Lig falls into??

I had the same experience on the 63 when a bus driver completely refused to let me on with a double buggy - he didn't even stop the bus!I am dreading trying to get on one of these new buses as it's stressful enough going on a bus with a baby/toddler and older children. Ann - I appreciate you are playing devils advocate but although I would avoid going on a bus in rush hour, some mothers have no choice, if they have to drop children at nursery on their way to work for example, I would never condemn a mother for taking a pram (however large) on a bus at rush hour, after all the buses are for everyone not just 'busy' commuters going to work. Quite an old fashioned opinion IMO.... Are we mothers supposed to stay at home and get on with the ironing, cooking, scrubbing the hearth etc. etc.?;-)

I was determined not to post on this thread but having had an experience today which makes me wonder if I actually came face to face with ligaturiosity I have had to post. I was on Goose Green today with my daughters and their friends and parents, enjoying an end of term picnic. My youngest (18m+) was mainly playing with her friends and her sisters (6 and 8) whilst I supervised her and chatted to friends. At one point I went to speak to a friend of mine who has a child in reception at my daughter's school, I was interrupted from my conversation by a mother I had never met before who asked me if I was said 18 month old's mother, I confirmed I was and she launched into " I have been watching in horror that other children were picking her up and carrying her around" I politely told her that mydaughter delighted in interaction with her sisters and older children, and that I was confident that mydaughters were old enough to be careful with her. This did not seem to register as she began again with the same speech, again repeating "I watched in horror as they carried her around and handled her etc. etc." I was quite literally speechless, saying nothing more that reiterating that she is a confident child who would come to me if she was unhappy with a situation. Fortuitously I bumped into this mother later as I was picking my older 2 children up from a friends house and bluntly told her it was absolutely none of her business and she would do better to watch her own 2 small children rather that 'watch in horror at mine'. In the 8 years that I have been a mother I continue to be amazed how I manage to keep my opinions to myself and have never to this day, commented to another mother or father on their parenting, however I have experienced many instances when other individuals have felt compelled to give me their opinions on how my children are dressed, whether I'm holding their hands, how to manage their behaviour and so on. The expression 'people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones' comes to mind. No-one, but no-one is a perfect parent.

I have a ridgeback trailer which cost in the region of ???130-40 I bought it from Evans, I did try their steel construction trailer but it was quite heavy with 2 kids in so I opted for their aluminium trailer which was worth it and light as a feather, I could still take them out in it when they were 6 and 4 years old. The heaviness may not be such a concern if you are only going on flat roads for short journeys. Generally I felt really happy taking the trailer out I certainly noticed when cars came up behind me they gave me a wide berth and with a flag on the back felt car drivers saw me and the trailer. On busier roads I would go on the pavement if it looked nice and wide, but you generally get to know the best routes and where you feel safest. The trailers that go on the back of the bike- you can detach very easily and lock up for the day to save you having to take it out all day. Good luck on your search - it is a lovely way to get about! p.s have a look on ebay - they come up pretty often.

I have an eight and 6 year old and would not let them travel to school alone, this is for a number of reasons, but mainly that I would not want to burden an eight year old with the responsibility of having to deal with any manner of incident that may arise on the journey. I think HeidiHi is right- they do not yet have the capacity to be able to judge when a situation is safe/less than safe. Regularly on the 7 minute journey to school I take with my children, there will be some sort of 'hiccup' I need to deal with such as a fall, dog s**t mishap etc. and if I was not there my 8 year old would have to sort it out - and she's way too young still, maybe I don't give her enough responsibility but I think she has a few more years to enjoy being young and carefree. On a technical note, working in child protection, I am aware that the guidelines from Southwark social services (and generally all S.S. departments) is that children under 9 should not walk to school/cross roads unaccompanied, and I would think certainly not in charge of a 5 year old sibling. So I would say that actually the headmaster is merely following protocol...

Thanks all for your help I am off on my search now to scour Rye Lane, then Herne Hill and The Village.....

Thanks Ryedalema, but think ebay cutting it too fine for arrival on or before saturday , maybe will have to promise the shoes as an additional extra post birthday!

My nearly 6 year old has reminded me she asked for a flamenco dress for her 6th bday ( sat) and I had forgotten, so now am in position of probably too late to get one online and am unable to get into town between now and Saturday. Does anyone know where to get one locally or if anybody has got one lurking in their daughter's dressing up box and they have grown out of it, happy to pay whatever you would like for it.... Desperate plee... can pick up anywhere round se22/se15/se23 etc. thank you!!! p.s flamenco shoes too size 10-11+ would be an absolute bonus too!!

poor you, that's awful. I had some bleeding with no. 3, I went straight up to early pregnancy unit at Kings, not the greatest place to hang around but once I was seen they scanned me and were very reassuring. Could you get someone to take the twins so you can go up there and wait - you can self refer, you don't need a letter from a doc or midwife. Best of luck and hope all is OK, XXX

Thanks all for your fantastic information and signposting to Southwark council's planning department - I shall make enquiries.

Wondered if anybody had any info about what, if anything is going to replace the Thai Pavillion restaurant which seems to have been closed down for over a year now. We are interested in a property adjacent and are trying to find out if there is any danger of the site being turned in a noisy bar with a late licence or some other residential nightmare. Or if anybody knows how you can find out from the council whether there are any restrictions on what the site can or can't be used for... Any info gratefully received!

I remember first hearing Rachel Cusk nearly 9 years ago, when 'a life's work' was read on radio 4, I was about 3 months pregnant at the time, I clearly recall thinking 'she does moan a lot...' fast forward 6 months and I was a mother - I rushed to buy the book and loved and devoured it, and I too endlessly shared excerpts with my husband, friends and my own mother about the absolute truths of being a mum! One of my favourite bits was when she talks about having vaguely paranoid thoughts and that the baby is colluding with the health visitor to deprive her of sleep - is that correct, something along those lines anyway? sadly I lent my copy to one of my friends and now wish I hadn't, it is such a lovely read, and I think every child you have new resonances strike.

First one sausage/smidge, 2nd one Lots pots and third one (Marth)parps/parpy all from their names and variations of but have to say the eldest - now 8 really does not appreciate being called by any nickname at all and in fact likes to be called by her first and middle name - very formal!

I am pretty sure they would keep you on their books, particularly as you had baby no.1 with them. I think if you were moving really far - like North London or even southwest London, they would have to transfer you to more local midwives but Herne Hill is still comparatively close. I had all my babies with Albany Midwives (now instinct :'() and their policy was to still look after women as long as they were in south east London and within a 15-20 minute car journey so they could get to women in labour. I would proceed with your home search - let us know what they say though!

Although a friend of mine who recently moved from central ED to buy a bigger house found that all the properties she looked at on Ondine, Oglander, Adys etc. were too expensive for them and ended up buying a bigger house in Friern road, interesting, as although in SE15 it is more accessible to central London with better public transport with more buses and more frequent trains from Peckham Rye station.

avocado baby and the shopping list by John Burningham anything by the Ahlbergs - burglar bill, peepo, bye bye baby and cops and robbers And ANYTHING by Shirley Hughes of course

So sorry girls, but I won't be able to make it as eldest girl is off school with a high fever and headache, please do post when the next one will be - I work mondays and tuesdays so can do wed, thur and fri... I was looking forward to a reminisce of those lovely days... Oh and I was going to agree with Molly's point that I have always thought too- that you rarely find a woman who had a planned home birth first time and then chooses not to have one for subsequent births. Have a lovely afternoon.

I want to ask the same question - I was wondering if I can take a non folding bike in the direction away from central London i.e to Tooting overground, unfortunately at 8.30am, but I wondered as I am going against rush hour direction it may be OK,or do I have to bite the bullet and buy a folding bike, which is a shame as I only bought my bike last december.

hi all I have had 3 beautiful home births and would love to come and share, my last home birth was a year ago. Could we make 2pm as it would give me a chance to fetch older two girls from school at 3.15?.

well said HeidiHi and localmama don't worry about horrid things people say as you didn't do anything wrong, like heidihi said you were quickly,discretely and quietly feeding your baby behind a curtain and then spied on and then humiliated -totally unacceptable. And I too am tired of all the 'shouldn't she have given the baby a sippy cup' 'shouldn't she have asked' 'should she have been behind the curtain feeding' yada yada, bottom line is, that if you were behind the curtain trying on clothes and your baby was sucking milk from a bottle none of this would have happened - fact.

Firstly just want to say how horrible for you localmama to experience this horrible experience, I have breastfed all of my girls up to 18 months and thankfully have never had any negative comments when I have had to feed any of them in public and I have fed them in changing rooms - even M&S! What is the exact description of the member of staff? (it may have already been described in the thread but I may have missed it) I had a bit of a run-in in the shop about 5 years ago, my middle child was about 8 weeks old and in a sling, this member of staff was putting heavy books on a shelf above my head and a book fell down and literally missed my daughter's head by millimetres, I pointed this out to him and he just shrugged couldn't even manage an apology, I know the book didn't hit her but if it had it was pretty heavy and could have been quite dangerous. I phoned the local office to complain and they were alright but not very interested and suggested I put it in writing if I was still upset. The feeling I get is that as the staff may work there voluntarily they don't have to adhere to basic levels of courtesy and politeness, however even though they are voluntary they are still representatives for the charity and shouldn't be working there if they can't control rude and obnoxious behaviour towards members of the public. Even if this guy has got mental health difficulties, what you experienced was discrimination and just as bad as if a person with mental health difficulties was harassed/abused. And by the way the staff in St christophers' hospice are always polite and kind, I have always slightly wary of the staff in the MIND shop, since my experience in there. edited to say - it is him, I have just seen localmamas other thread, it's the man with shaved head and multiple piercings.

I think it's particularly hard to be as aware of dog poo when you are pushing a pram/walking with small children as opposed to walking along the street on your own, it's impossible to keep your eyes trained to the pavement to avoid stepping in it as you are making sure children are safe etc. and of course small children are not very aware of what they are walking in. It is particularly disgusting and distressing when children step in dog turd on their way to school. I just feel you shouldn't own a dog unless you are prepared to pick up their s**t, a bit like having a baby and not changing their nappies... The answer? I don't know, reporting them more, taking photos of the offenders? trouble is, the the worst offenders don't actually care if people tread in their dog's s**t - I agree with domitianus roll them in it and see how they like it.

That is so awful, I am so sorry you had to experience this and Woody has been injured and traumatised by this dog. Sounds like the owner does not care one bit about what or who his dog attacks and there is a real worry he might attack a small child or another small dog. I will look out for this man and his dog - do we call the police if he is sighted out with his dog off the lead? and can the police prosecute him for having a dangerous dog who he failed to control when he attacked Woody? People like him should never be allowed to own dogs, he's probably trained him to be so aggressive. Best wishes for you and Woody and his recovery:(

Just to let you know if you haven't received a text from St Johns and St Clements school - they are closed tomorrow. They will update tomorrow about Friday.