alieh

It sounds like you are well looked after with advice and contacts, iaineasy, but just another message of support for Katie Fisher, Lactation Consultant (contact details earlier on the thread). She came to the house when my son was 3 weeks old and saved breastfeeding for us by diagnosing tongue tie. The midwives were all lovely to that point, but none of them had picked up the tongue tie and they kept just telling me to stick more of the freaking areola (sp?) in baby's mouth, and drawing diagrams of nipples. I was going out of my mind, my husband was freaking out that I was screaming and swearing from the pain, and baby was feeding for up to 3 hours straight. Nightmare! To anyone that has a similar experience and really wants to keep breastfeeding, do not hesitate in getting a private lactation consultant out to your house if you can possibly afford it. I think it was ?100 and we spent 2 hours with Katie, and then spoke to her on the phone every day for the next couple of weeks. Also agree with the advice re: Clare Kedves at Kings and the breastfeeding clinics, either at the church on Barry Road or at Peckham Rye library. Baby is 13.5 months old now and we're still happily BFing.

So kind of you both, thank you! Pickle, we're just around the corner from you so I would love to take you up on your offer. Would after lunchtime be good if you're home for naps (if we creep up to the door very quietly!)? Do you want to PM me your mobile number and we can make sure to choose a time that works for you. Thank you again! I had stupidly thought that maybe we could just put him to sleep in the middle of the double bed while we're having dinner, but he's 13.5 months old, can walk and run, and knows how to get down off the bed so possibly not a good plan!

Appealing to the kindness of strangers here....we left our travel cot with our childminder today and forgot we need it tomorrow night. Does anyone have a spare one we could borrow for the night? The pop up type? We will use multiple sheets plus he sleeps on a sheepskin, so he won't be anywhere near the mattress. Happy to leave collateral and a nice bottle of wine in exchange!

Hi sb. I had the choice of doing 3 or 4 days, and I chose 4 for the same reasons you describe. Though I am lucky and can do my 4th day from home, so I start early (husband does the childminder drop off) and then pick him up after his lunchtime nap (2:30 or 3:00 ish) so he is really doing 3.5 days at the childminder rather than a full 4. I actually have Wed as my non-working day, to avoid that long stretch out of the office. So I work in the office Mon, Tues, Thurs and from home on Friday. I figured that I would end up working the equivalent of 4 days, even if I officially was only working 3, so I may as well get paid for 4 days!

This always happens to us with teething (often a week or so before the teeth even become evident). The dodgy nappies usually accompany teeth for us too. I freaked out the first time, but eight teeth later have gotten used to it. He tends to want only things like fruit puree, yoghurt, and soft fruit pieces. For the plane, I would just stock up on easy things like Ellas House pouches and tetra pack smoothies. Baby Snowboarder is still getting most of his nutrition from milk, so he won't starve. One day soon he will probably try to steal food off your plate, and you'll know he is feeling better!

Hi. I saw your initial post and thought it seemed a great idea, but didn't notice the follow up re: open mornings. My son is too young, but I'm sure there would be lots of people interested. Maybe you just need another post re: the open mornings and keep bumping to make sure people can see it?

snowboarder, I always find it a bit odd that people you know in real life (except for my EDF mums...hi sleepy ladies!) have babies who sleep 7-7, yet anyone you "chat" to on internet forums (here, mumsnet, etc.) seem to be having the exact same experience as me (i.e. baby 12 months, sleeps through sometimes, still has terrible nights sometimes when teething, ill, a couple of times a week just for kicks, etc.). I think that people just don't go into the whole truth when they talk about sleep. Not necessarily lying, but they aren't going to give you a catalogue of information - i.e. two Wednesdays ago he was up for 3 hours in the middle of the night, no idea why. Then last week he woke 3 times before I went to bed, no idea why. Etc., etc. It is safe to say that more than half of babies under 12 months are still waking at least once or twice every night on a good night (per No Cry Sleep Solution). Probably lots more times. And that the vast majority of babies will go through a period of truly shocking sleep - maybe they go 7-7 until 18 months and then don't sleep for two years. So DO NOT compare and just get yourself on here and onto the Mumsnet Sleep talk board if you want the truth!

meant "needed a few hours of UNbroken sleep" obviously. duh...clearly still sleep deprived!

helena, I was exactly like you. Celebrating nights with 4 hours broken sleep. When it got to the point that I thought I had PND and was about to make an appointment with my GP, but then realised I just needed a few hours of broken sleep, I had to take action. Did exactly as you describe, sat by the cot soothing instead of feeding at night (well, actually, made my DH do it). That was at about 8 months - I was at breaking point and am in awe of people who go on so much longer. Still have lots of dodgy nights (he's been asleep less than 3 hours tonight and already been up screaming twice...b*&*dy teeth) but enough decent nights that I feel like a human rather than angry zombie, albeit a tired human.

Snowboarder, the times that I had my lowest points re: sleep were when I stopped thinking about whether I could cope (even if just barely) and started comparing to what other people were doing. That is when it would get so bad that in my sleep deprived state I would almost be angry at my baby for still waking 2,3,4 times a night. Try to only focus on what your baby is doing right now and whether you can live with it. You may eventually get to a point where you really can't live with it, and then you can try something like what helena described on the other thread. But you really have to be at that "can't live with it" point because convincing your baby to feed less at night, or nap in his cot, or whatever will probably involve some tears, even if you are there comforting him the whole time. You may find that, as long as you IGNORE what all other babies are doing and just focus on whether you're coping with what you've got, you don't ever need to do any kind of "sleep training". But if you do want to "try something" at some point, lots of us have been there and can help. Also, have you ever looked at the Baby Whisperer forums? I don't really rate her books, but there are really helpful other mums on the website who have helped me get my baby napping better at home (mostly just suggesting changes to nap timing/routines). If you're desperate you could try posting there and see if anyone has any ideas? http://www.babywhispererforums.com/ My son sleeps on his tummy mostly with a stuffed toy and [shock horror] even a cot bumper thingie around the cot. He has been in his own room since 3 months. He has hated co-sleeping since birth, except for the odd snoozy cuddle in the early morning. Both of our babies are well outside the SIDS risk zone. Just ignore any advice/articles that make you feel bad about your baby and what you're doing, and only read things that confirm what you already know! Oh, and I know no babies under the age of 1 who have that elusive 2 hour nap after lunch. I'm sure they exist but I don't know any of them. Think that comes with time for most babies (maybe 18 mos or so?) - I'm still waiting!

Sleep, woman! Sleep! Hard when you have pregnancy related insomnia, I know. I wasted so much time trying to get the baby to come, when really I should have just been sleeping and enjoying the last couple of weeks of peace and quiet.

There is a baby shop called Tommy's on Rye Lane near Peckham Rye station that has tons of pushchairs in stock that you can try - all the brands, Bugaboo, Stokke, Maclaren, etc, etc. I trekked all the way into John Lewis to try pushchairs when I was looking, and wish I'd known about this place as it is right down the road and they actually have a bigger selection than John Lewis! Here's a map: http://www.allinlondon.co.uk/mapping/map.php?pc=SE15+4NB

Crystal7, I am amazed at how much better I feel on work days after bad nights than if I am at home all day. Feel quite grizzly while getting up and getting ready and moan a lot, but once I have my coffee on the train I feel totally fine! And I have to sit in front of a PC most of the day reading and writing (zzzzz), so you will probably be in even better shape being busy with your class.

I have just gone back after taking the full year off. I am working 4 days/week (3 days in the office and 1 from home) and couldn't imagine working more. And I am (so far) lucky that my employer is okay with me working 8-4:30 so that I get home in good time in the evening. I am absolutely loving being back, I have to say. Though it could just be a novelty at this early stage, and it may wear off. I would say that flexible childcare might not be as impossible as you think, and if you have an opportunity for redundancy PLUS don't want to go back full time PLUS can manage on one income for a bit, you could use this opportunity to look into freelance/part time opportunities?

I know it probably won't help, but we had this and we did find that the bottle mattered. The only one he would tolerate is the Playtex Drop-Ins type bottle, with the disposable bags. Like these: http://www.infantcaredirect.co.uk/acatalog/Disposable_Nursers_&_Starter_Sets.html I know some other people who have had the same experience. Something about the way the bag contracts as they drink more closely simulates breastfeeding? I have a few of these bottles, a new pack of teats and lots of bags if anyone wanted to test them out before buying. I freaked out when my son started bottle refusing around 3 months, but we eventually got him back onto it using these bottles. The funny thing is that I can count on two hands the number of times he's had a bottle since! Now if I am away from him, he is fine with having the milk from a cup. He's been doing this since 8 months or so. So if nothing works, take heart and know that the bottle phase is short-lived! I also got quite relaxed about having a few drinks and still breastfeeding (oops...not advocating this, but I was okay with it) especially once I stopped feeding overnight.

Hi Keef. Lots of ideas here, but don't think this one has been mentioned. Porridge oats in the bath. This has been amazing for us. We tie a cup of porridge oats into a muslin cloth, secure with elastic band, and put under running tap and squish into bath water until water is quite cloudy. Also dab the oat-filled muslin onto the excema patches. We moisturise every day, sometimes twice (or even more) with Aveeno. I tried all kinds of more natural products, hoping that they would work, but Aveeno cream worked overnight. Think detergent is also a major trigger for him. We use Surcare in our wash and it seems good.

Hi Snowboarder. A couple of small ideas to add, though none of which will probably dull the pain completely! Definitely try to time the drive to coincide with when he's tired. I tend to carry him around in the sling for the last 30 mins or hour before getting into the car, to try to keep him awake but calm, so that he drifts off once we get driving I always sit in the back while DH drives (no hope otherwise). Open his window - something about the white noise and fresh air seems to help them calm down and sleep. Pack a little "treasure bag" of weird stuff that you can pass him to look at (e.g. spoons, tea strainer, remote controls, old phones, etc.) Lots of snacks Singing Does he like looking around at people in playgrounds/cafes/etc? We plan a couple of stops along the way to let our guy get out, look around, roll around/crawl (if he is mobile), etc. It took us 8 hours to get to Wales last month! But at least there was minimal screaming. Good luck!

I know someone who went with Millpond as advisers when their baby was about 10 months. From what I understand, Millpond helped them work out a plan over a number of weeks (i.e. first breaking the BFing to sleep association gradually, then reordering the bedtime routine, etc., etc.). Not sure of the exact details, but my friend was quite anti-crying and she seemed okay with the Millpond plan. Though I think there was some crying, I'm sure you could do the plan your own way...for e.g., like curlykaren says by cuddling through the crying instead of feeding. You might find that moving the cot to the nursery helps in itself? I know that whenever we share a room with our 11 month old, we are all kept awake all night by each other! You could also start a gradual approach to helping her fall asleep without feeding (i.e. at bedtime, try to make sure she is a little bit awake when she goes down...same at naps). Once I stopped feeding at night, my son started sleeping through maybe 70% of the time (less when he is teething or ill, more in a good week). It is up to you whether you want to continue to feed at night until baby stops waking for it or you could try some gentle prodding in that direction in a few months time (we did at 8 months, but my son was a very very good solids eater...might want to wait longer if solids take a while to get established). What we did around 8 months is basically instead of feeding when baby woke, my husband would go in and cuddle, rock, sing whatever to get him back to sleep. Then after a few days of that, my husband worked towards more shushing and patting in the cot, rather than rocking. Now whenever he wakes at night we know that there is something bothering him and a usually quick cuddle (or Calpol in the case of teething!) sorts him out. Another thought...could there be anything about her day routine (using the word loosely!) that is contributing to the night wakings? If my son is overtired and not napping well, we can almost guarantee night wakings. Or teeth? Or tummy trouble as she gets used to weaning?

Yes, the early bedtime is a bit scary. It generally works well for us. I even have him asleep by 6:15 some nights, usually 6:30 or 6:45. It seems if I put him to sleep after 7:00, he only sleeps until 5 something. But if he is asleep by around 6:30 or so, he will sleep until 6 or so (most days anyway!). You can only try and cross your fingers!

We've had this a couple of times. The only thing that seems to help is to bring him out into the bright light and he usually snaps out of it quite quickly. It seems worse on the days he is overtired at bedtime. Maybe the same for you, and could be improved with a bit earlier bedtime? It is so upsetting seeing them so frightened!

Hi Molly. Sorry that C is having to go through this. I had some kind of foot issue as a baby (my big toes were at right angles...not sure what that's called) and had to wear the clunky boots for months. All day and night. My mum tells a story about how they left me with a babysitter one night (sitter arrived after they had put me to bed) and when my parents came home they saw that the sitter had taken off the boots and lined them up beside the bed. They still laugh thinking about what that babysitter must have thought, with them putting their tiny baby to sleep with huge clunky boots!? Not much help, but my feet are completely fine now so it is, of course, worth it. The suggestion about a transitional type shoe seems like a great one and hopefully your new idea about the boot at night will help.

Snowboarder, sorry it's so tough at the moment. I had similar with a VERY alert, very distracted feeder. Who knew that alertness was such a flipping annoying trait in a baby - no sleep, crazy feeding. Arghh! Given that you've made it to 6 months (medal?!) you may find it easier to go with the milk in a cup rather than bothering with a fight over a bottle. And I'm sure you've already thought of this, but going to bottle feeding will carry faffing of its own when you're out (i.e. warming, sterlising...not sure as I haven't done it, but there seems to be rigamarole about bottles when out). I know it is so hard when people say it will get better....it's like you need a date and time of when it will. What I did about the distracted feeding around 5-6 months is to space out the daytime feeds a bit, pretty much I did (and still do) 4 feeds including wake up and bedtime and if one of these feeds is crap then oh well...may offer the boob again if he's grizzly but if he doesn't want it then fine with me. I also started to try to limit the night feeds to 2 after my bedtime by sending my DH in to resettle if it had been less than 3 or 4 hours since he fed at night. Then at nearly 8 months I stopped feeding at night altogether. This was once he was doing really well with solids (baby led weaning and he loves food). Just handed the night reigns over to my DH and got him to settle him by cuddling, shhing, anything other than feeding. I know lots of people keep nightfeeding indefinitely and I really do admire them, but I'd had enough! Not sure if this helps, but this is just my personal story about WHEN it got better for me. Of course after 3 months of loving solid foods, he has basically refused to eat any solids for the last couple of weeks (cold, ear infection, teething) so the feeding problems just rear their head again in a different guise!

Heidi - Like the others, I wouldn't be without my Ergo now that baby is bigger. I really would keep hold of it, but find another sling to get you through the next couple of months. Am sure someone on here would loan you one? You really need one of the stretchy wrap slings - Close, Huggabub, Kari-Me - or a stretchy pouch like the Coorie. The problem is that these only last for newborn stage because once bubs is too heavy the stretchy wraps don't work anymore, so that's when the Ergo comes into play. I made the mistake of selling my Kari-Me to fund my Ergo purchase, but now when I have a second baby (not anytime soon after the week I've had with my now 9 month old!) I will need to buy something similar again. I have a Calin Bleu wrap sling (basically just a long piece of cotton gauze, kind of a pain to tie at first but very good once you get the hang of it) and a Hotsling pouch sling that you are more than welcome to borrow, but it would really be better to find one of the stretchy ones for your newborn.

I'll encourage my hubby to come along on Tuesday. We are first time parents, 9 month old son. I have local mum friends but he needs dads!

Hi Maki! Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. We're back in London in less than 2 weeks so we can comiserate in person, but just to say that we went through very similar in the first few weeks we were away in July. I did the same as chantelle (i.e. stopped night feeds) and it worked well. He was eating solids very well during the day and still breastfeeding 4 times and seems to now have no problem going without eating between 7 pm and 6 am. It was like, all of a sudden, feeding him back to sleep in the middle of the night just stopped working and we had to help him figure out how to settle back to sleep on his own. This may not be the answer for you, but it worked a treat for us. Hopefully it doesn't all go belly up when we get back from this extended holiday!!