alieh

I found that the feeding back to sleep in the middle of the night stopped working at some point...maybe around 8 months for us (signs were him staying wide awake for ages after feed, refusing feed, biting my nip, etc.), so I had much more incentive to try other methods of resettling (i.e. walking, rocking, etc.) once the feeding stopped working. I kept worrying about feeding him every time he woke at night, but with the next baby I won't worry about it at all, I will just keep doing it until it stops working and then make a new plan at that point.

The interesting thing is that the risks to baby are higher for a normal vaginal birth than a c-section - in other words, if baby's safety was the only concern, c-sections would be "safest" for baby in every instance. But risks to mother are much greater with a section, and of course they're not going to do sections for every birth. But I just thought it was interesting that people kept telling me that the risks of a vaginal breech birth were higher than a section, when stastistically that is true for every birth. I just hope I don't have to worry about this when the next bubs comes along!

BTW, I would be very happy to discuss in person if it would help. I found this time incredibly stressful and it ruined the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.

If you are thinking about this, I would be very happy to lend you the book and also share the birth plan that we very carefully drafted which covered all kinds of things like whether we wanted continuous monitoring of baby's heartbeat while labouring, etc. Honestly, I wasted so much time on the internet reading both inspiring and scary stories that I got in such a muddle. This book was a welcome relief because it summarised all of the facts - it is written by a doctor who had to decide about her own breech birth. Yes, it was my first baby. The key factors in a successful natural breech birth seemed to be: -Butt first presentation (forget the technical terms, but where they're in folded pike position) -Labour starts spontaneously (they won't induce if baby is breech) -Labour progresses well -VERY KEY - midwives and/or doctors with experience in breech delivery Even though I ended up with a section, I am so glad that I did all of this planning for a natural birth and that I went overdue hoping to go into labour. It meant that when I did have my section, I felt like I had done everything I could to avoid it (if I had had the section at week 38 or 39 like doctors would have liked, I would have always wondered whether he might have turned if I had waited longer). This is just my own personal reflection based on how I felt, not a comment on what would be right for every woman. I also did all of the other things to get baby to turn (acupuncture, moxibustion herb thing, yoga, swimming, propping bum up for hours on end, etc.) and even had two attempts at ECV at Kings. This bubs was not budging! A stubborn 17 month old he is now too!

Yes, after all my research the conclusion seemed to be that if baby was bum first, labour started spontaneously, and progressed well, there was no reason the birth couldn't be natural. The best book I read was Breech Birth by Benna Waites which summarised all of the research out there (good and bad) in a very matter of fact way.

I was - in theory - up for it. I did loads of research, spoke with senior OB at Kings (Dr. Penna), had very supportive midwives (The Lanes) who drafted in midwifery colleagues with natural breech experience to be on call for me. I agreed with Dr. Penna that I would go 10 days overdue, but that if labour hadn't started spontaneously by then we would do a section. Anticlimatic end to the story....went 10 days overdue and had a section.

Oh yes, this was a very very bad age for sleep for us. Not sure if it coincides with starting solids, and they get tummy ache as their digestive system learns to cope? Or maybe just that they're becoming more aware and therefore more difficult to settle when they do wake. Also teeth often start to make an appearance at this stage, which can really mess with sleep. Agree that all of the "rods" fall away at some point. All you can do is survive somehow in the meantime!

Yes, we had no problem when checking in at Gatwick. Both carseat and buggy were free. Checked carseat with the luggage and took buggy to the plane door and checked there. Useful to know that it really varies whether you get your buggy back at the gate or on the luggage carousel on arrival, so it is good to have a sling on board in case you have a long walk through the airport. We did have a bit of a problem on the return journey from Milan and had to fight in order to get them to allow both for free. But we eventually got there in the end.

We also didn't have a problem with our 3 cats and our baby. I never felt like I had to be super vigilant - they were keen to sleep in the pram/basket but only when the baby wasn't in it. Mostly I think cats tend to keep a wide berth of small screaming creatures! Things are a bit different now that our son is a toddler, as he tends to chase them and poke them in the eyes when he can get his hands on them. One of the cats did scratch him on the face recently when he did this, so I do need to keep a closer eye and make sure that he is learning how to be gentle with them. One tip someone gave us was to bring something home from the hospital with the smell of the new baby before you bring him/her home (if babe is born in hospital rather than home, that is). We did this - left a blanket around for cats to smell before baby came home (c-section, so we were in hospital a few days). Not sure if it helped, but can't hurt!

I have a baby gym mat with play arch thing, and I would be happy to offer some fruit. Bananas, satsumas, grapes....that kind of thing? I should also have some spare throws and cushions. If there is a load going on the 21st I could get stuff ready by then, if anyone could swing by and collect at some point. I am just off Underhill Road.

Great news about 7:00 am! Honestly the insomnia will pass, but it might take a number of weeks. It is just that your body isn't used to getting long stretches of sleep anymore and so you're jittery. I still rarely sleep right through without waking at all, but generally am able to go back to sleep pretty quickly now.

Great, let us know when you need a new influx of toys and I'll put stuff aside. I could contribute coffee, tea and biscuit provisions as an alternative donation, if that would help!

Is this an ongoing need? I don't have anything I can think of right now, but if I knew there would be stuff going every month or so, I could put stuff aside as and when. If someone with a car was able to help coordinate, we could choose a day every couple of months that people could drop stuff for delivery to the Centre. We could put a notice on the Forum as a reminder, as there always seems to be loads of stuff going for free on here. I don't have a car, or I would offer.

A follow up question about the link Alex John Moore posted....this says that there were 90 reception places at Goodrich, and that 38 were given to siblings, 3 to children with exceptional needs, and 1 based on "home to school" distance. Does this mean that the 1 place was given to someone for whom Goodrich is not their closest school and that the balance was made up by people who got in based on distance plus Goodrich being their closest school? I.e. 90 places minus 38 siblings - 3 exceptional needs - 1 distance but not closest school = 48 places going to kids based on distance where Goodrich is their closest school? Why is this so complicated??

Thanks for the link Alec John Moore!

Does anyone have the statistics on the distances in the last couple of years for Goodrich? I.e. number of kids who got in under the distance criteria, as well as furthest and/or average distance for those that got in under this criteria. I realise it is a matter of supply and demand, but just trying to get an idea of whether we would have had a good chance in the last couple of years (and whether we could reasonably say that our house has been in Goodrich "catchment" in recent years). We are about 400 m from Goodrich.

I have had really good luck with those Kalms tablets - can't remember if they are suitable while breastfeeding. Think the active ingredient is the herb valerian, so may be the same as the tea recommended above. I have found that I wake up during the night alot, even though my son mostly sleeps through. Some weeks better/worse than others. I think it is just a fact of being on high alert because he still does occasionally wake and I'm never really sure what the night will hold. I do find that if I can break the insomniac cycle by sleeping a night in the spare room with earplugs (and DH on duty), that can really help.

Hi Ruth, I went back 4 days/week when my Sebastian was 10.5 months. He was down to 3 feeds/day by that point. I found it no problem to express once a day at work (wouldn't have wanted to have to do it more than once though). I only had to do this for a couple of months as he started having cow's milk for the middle of the days feeds from 12 months (still BF morning and bedtime for a few months longer).

You could sneak the dummies back in and try again when she's a bit older? Or if you decide to persevere, you probably want to stick with a fairly consistent way of responding to her when she wakes. If one time she gets a bottle, the next time she gets a pat, the next time she yells for 10 mins before anyone comes, etc, I think they get confused and even more thrown off kilter (though we all go through many desperate measures in the dead of night...been there!). It's like she needs to learn a whole new way to fall asleep and needs to know what to expect each time. I'm no expert but have done lots of reading about teaching babies to sleep better (zzzzzz)! Does she have a lovey or other kind of comforter like a muslin? If not, you could try to get her attached to a specific thing. If it were me, I would probably move the mattress while she's getting used to falling asleep independently again. Could you keep the mattress out until you move in a few weeks or would that just be too miserable for you? For gentle sleep training, I like the Baby Whisperer. You could choose either the gradual withdrawal method where you start by sitting by the cot with your hand on her, then after a few days take the hand away and just sit by the cot, then move a bit further away, etc. Or you could do some kind of walk in/walk out, where you leave the room and listen...if she's just chatting or complaining/yelling, you stay out. If she gets upset, you go in, quickly soothe, and then walk out again, repeat, repeat, repeat. This link explains the different methods: http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0 I think the key is the repetition of the exact same steps every time she wakes. Takes alot of stamina, especially pregnant! But I would think you would see a big improvement within a week? But I wouldn't feel at all bad about giving the dummies back if I were in your situation, so good luck whatever you decide!

Also, I did some looking into Marrakesh and there seemed to be lots of great accomodation options in small riads, where the rooms were all around a central courtyard so that you could have dinner in the evening virtually right beside your room. Some of them had pools. Doesn't solve the creche/babysitting problem, but at least means you can enjoy dinner and drinks in the evening. Not sure if the heat would be unbearable in the summer though - I was looking at May.

My friend just sent me this yesterday: http://www.childfriendly.co.uk/. A new site that someone she knows has set up. It is new, so fairly light on content but there is a section on child friendly hotels and holidays. Might be something on there.

Hi, I originally had Wed as my day off and it worked well for the reasons described above - broke up the working week, meant that I didn't end up at the weekend with a huge pile of laundry, no food in the fridge, etc. But I have since changed my day to Friday because I was missing out on a lot of meetings being out of the office on Wed, whereas on Friday nothing much goes on at work. This is a good day to have off as well - more things to do, nice to have a long weekend, etc. I think Tues would be not a great day off, but Wed, Thurs or Fri could all work well. Like Molly says, I wouldn't worry about the stop start nature of childcare - they are so adaptable with stuff like that. If it's a nursery day, my son jumps into his buggy excited about seeing the other kids, but if it is a day at home he equally loves just pottering around all morning. From my research into childcare, Friday and Monday are the easiest days to find care. Wed the hardest. Not sure if this is a general picture, but that is what I found.

5 a day! Ha ha ha ha.... If mine spots a pea, he almost needs tweezers to pick out every last shred of it before he will take a bite. He loves fruit, but I started to wonder if he was having a bad reaction to fruits like prunes, raisins, berries, etc. so am avoiding most fruits except pears and bananas. I can't help but think about the many countries around the world that have much more restrictive diets than ours, with the same grains and pulses day in, day out and very little fresh fruit and veg, and they are perfectly healthy. I would hide as many veg as possible in sauces or whereever, and stick with high calorie things that she'll eat. We do loads of cheese here...I just try to avoid other high salt foods as much as possible. I think with most toddlers, 5 a day is a distant dream! Actually, for most adults too....

Ruth, I have a baby Sebastian too and a cheeky sleeper - maybe it comes with the name?? But sounds like you're doing brilliantly. We had great luck with the EASY thing during the day too - some weeks better than others, but overall it worked for us. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for your baby by responding quickly in the evenings, but just keep on with making sure your response at those times reinforce nighttime (dark, quiet, shushing, etc.) and he'll eventually get the hint. One thing that we discovered was that a 7 pm was too late at that age for our Sebastian. It may be contributing to making him more unsettled in the evening - i.e. he drops off knackered at 7 pm but is overtired and so has the adrenaline going when he wakes at 11 pm. You could try bringing bedtime forward a bit, skipping bath if necessary? You could also try gradually pushing that 9 pm feed a teeny bit later every day, so cuddle for a bit first then feed at 9:30 or 10:00, which might help him get over that 11:30 pm hump.

Hi! We tend to be looking for housesitters at Xmas, and would welcome this type of arrangement. We have 3 cats though, so some petsitting would be part of the job description (Just feeding, really. They're pretty low maintenance). We haven't finally confirmed our plans for this coming Xmas, but should know in the next couple of months. I can keep you posted if you don't find an alternative! Alie