Zacdrumbaker

I am an experienced teacher (and father of three) offering tutoring for all ages and levels for all essay based subjects. My priority is to foster the development of learner autonomy as a long-term life asset. Having worked in senior schools as an English teacher (10 years), I have some personal insight into how young people need to be engaged in order to learn with a growth mindset. Schools are not well placed to encourage divergent thinking, but the creative mind requires this approach to solving problems in all areas of life. I do not teach compliance but do encourage discipline and ambition. This is evidently helpful for other age groups, as I found working with executives as a public speaking and business English coach in Italy. I have also been teaching drums for many years which has offered further lessons about the embodied experience of learning. My approach is to share the experience of learning as a journey, be clear about where we are heading and plan the route with the student. Sounds awfully cheesy but it works. I am happy to travel to your home wherever possible. [email protected] 07486 012182

Any first time dads out there? (any age) Expecting dads? I'd like to have a discussion about what it takes to become a father. How much do we need to change our habits and thinking to become the kind of dad that we admire? What makes a succesful father in 21st century london? any comments, thoughts, questions welcome. Also, I do realise many edf participants are ladies and mums. If you would like to contribute your idea of what turns a normal guy into a really good father, then please feel free.

Very interesting and helpful ideas, thank you! What about phone/screen dependence and snack/sugar dependence? Also, the elephant in the room; what can we do as parents to guard against the need for public social approval that social media engenders in so many people? My kids are still pre social media age but I am aware that by continuing to not allow them any experience of social media i may be setting them up for a time when they dive into it, (bored of being excluded from the majority culture) without having developed any street smarts to prevent them from suffering the worst kind of interactions on facebook, snapchat etc.

Does anyone have any ideas about what we can do to prevent our children from developing dependence in their adolescence and beyond? I have three children and I also have plenty of experience with dependence in later life. It seems to me that dependence begins as an agent of habit forming when we are young. If knowledge of how this happens is factored in to how we parent our children, it could be one of the most valuable lessons for acheiving freedom in adolescent and adult life. But how do we tackle this? Any thoughts or experiences welcome!

Yes, I think I know what you're refering to. I would like to be able to define this flourishing thing. Perhaps it's simply the accumulative changes of personal growth which happens most quickly and therefore most visibly when we're young. It's interesting (and difficult) to try and understand the mechanics of this process without quoting a string of cliches.

yes, indeed! thanks for your very interesting answer. I agree it is a continual source of surprise just how different our children are from ourselves and so how they respond to our parental actions. My three are vastly different and so require different styles of parenting in the end. There is no onesize fits all approach at home, just as there isn't in the classroom. I suppose my follow up question to you would be what distinguishes a happy child from a contented child? in the sense that most kids are ostensibly happy when they are watching tv and eating crisps but there is a gap between that and really living well which would set them on the path to contentment. What happens in that gap? thanks again for your response. Just so you know: I am a local father/drum tutor who was a senior school teacher for ten years but am now considering working more directly with families. At the moment i'm trying to get a sense of how people feel they could do better as parents. It clearly takes courage to consider and even more to answer, so thank you! all the best, ZB

We have three, difficult to say how planned or surprising it was at the time (7years back) but it's brilliant! The transition from 4 to 5 is a big one as the little ones suddenly outnumber the parental units. It kind of means that their world carries more weight at home, which is really good as they experience agency in their world. It's almost more like growing up in bygone decades where they'd band together and cruise around on bikes, finding their own strategies for dealing with being small and not always equal. Another thing is the question of space. Most families of 5 have less space than they might like meaning that there is a lot of sharing bedrooms, having to keep their stuff limited and out of each other's way. But these are great lessons in keeping your house in order before you start to take issue with the world beyond. Living a bit on top of one another also means they we all have to put the effort in to be both tolerable and tolerant. Group dynamics chop and change all the time. Naturally the wheels come off that trike regularly enough, but there's another great set of lessons for life going forward. On reflection, the intimacy it creates is just the most precious thing in my life so far. They'll be off on their own personal missions soon enough. In short; congratulations! Take courage. It is new territory and will shake things up unavoidably but as the dust settles you'll start to see many many more benefits to the larger family than cons. Speaking from some pretty hectic experience that is. Good luck!

Dear Jules and Boo, Thanks for taking time to respond. Good point regarding what we need to achieve through quality time with our little ones. And yes, I agree it must be the biggest responsibility we have, to lead them towards their own resilience to establish mental well-being. Bullying is such an ever present problem for kids and can have a big effect on self-image into adulthood imo. Emotional intelligence in parents is key and something that most of us have to learn as we travel the long road of parenting. I think personally, I could have benefitted from some guidance in this before mine went off to school. I hadn't really considered how I would respond if/when one of them came home feeling picked on in the playground, naturally it came up a couple of years ago and I was at a bit of loss. Also, I think it is easy for parents to disagree about how best to deal with bullying and then the LO gets mixed messages. We live and learn!

If you are in this discussion forum you must be taking your role as a parent pretty seriously, whether you give yourself credit for it or not. I recently had an experience where someone I met had exactly the info I needed to solve a particular parenting problem. EDF is a great resource for this too, but the net it casts is limited, so we can't expect it to solve all of our parenting doubts. I am convinced that better parenting is the best answer to all the biggest problems we face, the very problems our children will inherit. If this makes sense to you and you have 3 minutes to spare, please respond to either/both of these questions: 1. What are the thorniest parenting problems? managing homework? policing tech use? creating healthy living habits? sharing regular quality time? providing spiritual guidance in a material world? 2. What would the ultimate Mum/Dad achieve? What would they be like? Thanks for taking the time to read this! Zac

ok, thanks for letting me know Hazel!

Hi there, i am a local drum tutor. I live in SE22 and can come to you if that suits? Sounds like she's the right age to get started. http://www.drumsense.com/ds_biog.php?region=London&tut_id=651

Sorry, i will move my post.