KatsuQueen

Belle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This issue makes me very sad, as well as angry, > and I won't repeat points I've made in the past (I > hope). > > I think someone mentioned the apparently common > cases of newborn babies who end up dehydrated or > jaundiced through early feeding issues - I > personally know of about four of five, including > one whose baby was in hospital with a lumbar > puncture. Only then did she start giving formula > (having been told sternly not to by HVs etc), and > subsequently managed to breastfeed for well over a > year. What I do believe, with regret, is that if > only I'd broken out of the myopic 'must be > breastmilk' haze I was in during the first week, > and given my son some formula, he'd have thrived > and so would I, and perhaps breastfeeding would > have been achievable as a result. The irony. > > I know there are women out there who have tried > and tried through blood, sweat, tears, and near > continuous expressing, and made it work, but not > all of us are perhaps emotionally equipped for > that struggle in those tough early days. I think > generally on this forum we do manage to strike a > balance of expressing our differing and strongly > held view; and not judging others. Never is this > more important than on such an emotive topic. Belle, I totally agree. (Belle and I were next to each other on KCH wards with our sons for a good week, and wow it was a struggle) Not just the presure to breastfeed but also not to bottle-feed, as if with one bottle, that was it, your child would be a delinquent with all the allergies under the sun, and wouldn't be able to bond with you for the rest of your life no matter what you did. The best decision I ever made was when MiniKatsu was 2 days old and crying from hunger, I phoned my husband and told him to bring two packets of Aptamil for me. He was really confused because he knew that I wanted to breastfeed. But just a few bottles in those early days got us through, and most importantly gave me confidence that yes, my baby was hungry (there was nothing else wrong with him), he could suck strongly and once my milk "came in" it would be OK. After that he was "exclusively" breastfed for 4 months. Maybe it's just my own feelings of inadequacy but sometimes, I got the feeling that "exclusive breastfeeding" was pushed so hard - as if you were giving your baby a bottle of poison instead of milk. Which is totally nuts. Sorry if I have gone off topic, it is about weaning after 6 months, sorry.

Hi I guess there are advantages to being a slob, because Mr Katsu and I are actually tidier now than before we had MiniKatsu :)) Now we have to tidy up or else things get lost/ broken and we do the washing up every night instead of leaving it until one of us cracks and does it! (Known as a "washing up off" in our household) I actually have to vacuum on a semi-regular basis now instead of 3 times a year :-$ We always had to spend days (literally) tidying up before parents came to visit though. To excuse my laziness, I always think that my real friends wouldn;t care about the state of the place if they came to visit, and the ones that judged me, well they weren't my real friends anyway. Nowadays, I go even further - there are two types of people in my life. People I have to tidy up for before they visit, and people who help me tidy up when they visit or look after MiniKatsu so I can do a bit of vacuuming! I love them...

All sounds so familiar, I'm glad I'm not alone! When my parents come to stay, they cook meals and look after MiniKatsu in the morning so I can have a lie-in. My father-in-law always wants to have a drink about six but he wants us all to join in. 6 o'clock is the "desperate" hour in our house when we are trying to do the whole eat-bath-bed routine without meltdown. And my father-in-law wanders around saying, "oh shall I open the so-and-so wine? What are we having for dinner, how about that xxx from xxx?" But he won't open it and drink it with just my mother-in-law. (I guess because he thinks it's rude?) The last time they visited, I just hissed at MrKatsu, " for god's sake just open the bloody wine and drink it, or pretend to drink it with him before I go crazy and scream......"

Hi Sally, I know of someone had a small registry wedding with just two witnesses, and a party for friends and family in the evening. They didn't tell anyone that it was a wedding celebration (I think they said it was late birthday or something like that) thus avoiding pressure from friends or relatives. A friend who was invited said people were turning up thinking, blimey this is a bit full-on for a birthday isn't it? (I thought it was a great idea.)

Hi, we use an electric oil-filled heater to keep my son's room warm at night. There is a timer so it kicks in after the main house heating has gone off, and has a thermostat so that it switches on and off. It works really well, we have had it since he was born (in the depths of winter)...There was no point heating up all the rooms in the night, so we just kept his room nice and toasty.

You guys make me feel so much better :) One of my worst guilt trips came on when I was having a pub lunch and feeling pleased because MiniKatsu was eating lots of chunky chips. Then I saw at the next table a little girl the same age eating a carefully home-prepared lunch of carrot sticks, steamed vegetables and fruit. Including delicate melon slices. Oh bad mummy moment!

Hi my name is KatsuQueen and I feed my 20 month old son Birds Eye Potato Waffles. *hangs head in shame* Yes I know I should be steaming carrots and making stews but it's so easy. Oven on, 20 minutes and they are all done. Let them cool a bit and MiniKatsu wolfs them down. Am I going to be thrown out out the EDF family room? PLease don;t judge me... (So any other mothers feeling guilty out there? And what is your guilty food product?)

...if only I could resist kissing his little (snotty) face, then maybe I wouldn;t get sick too!

Minikatsu had a cough/cold/running nose from October till March last year, poor boy. But poor us too, because everything he got we got too, only worse. Last week he had a cold with horrible blocked nose etc and just as he's got over it, he now has a phlegmy chesty cough. *sigh* Is this it? Coughs/colds/aches etc until it's spring again? Colleagues have told me that it gradually gets better as kids get better at fighting off the bugs, but basically it's going to be like this till he's 5 or 6. Aaargghhh. Please someone tell me it's not true....

Hi, minikatsu was born during the snow in January 2009 when it was freezing. In the beginning we had the central heating on all the time, then (when we got ourselves organised) we bought an oil (?) heater that you plug into the electric socket. It has a temperature sensor so switches itself on and off as required. YOu can get them from Argos or similar shops. It kept the room temp about 20 degrees and meant that he could just sleep in a vest + babygro + cellular blanket. Hope this helps.

Elderflower, I think I understand what you are getting at; I'm absolutely uninterested in crafting, knitting baking cupcakes or making bunting. HOwever, lots of people are and why shouldn't they have fun? I do agree that there are wider issues affecting women which other branches of the WI have been involved with but I don't think the EDWI was really set up for that. As far as I know, EDWI was set up as more of a social get-to-know-other-people-in-ED group as opposed to raising awareness or campaigning. Must admit I don;t know much about the WI apart from the stereotypes - i.e. the Conservative Ladies Association in everything but name. Maybe the tea has been replaced by wine but that's about it. (sorry, I know times have moved on, but the stereotype remains...) I am one of those "mums" that you have mentioned, but I don't believe that being a mother defines my whole life. Would be interested to hear any ideas you have for "contemporary" activities? PM me if you want to take this offline.

Well done!!

Sledge, that's so mean! Poor little boy! When we went to see the a nursery on Lacon Rd, we saw a few buggies parked outside. We were told that there was no space inside so they were left there all day!

Hi ab, just to say *welcome* and bump up the thread for you :) Have sent you PM.

Belle, this thread is therapy and thanks for bringing it up again. As our "boys" (not babies anymore..sigh)are the same age (I was in the bed next to you at Kings) it's reassuring to hear that it's not just me feeling all fat and saggy. All the other mums seem to be so slim and fit in their skinny jeans when hanging out in the playground. I think I've put on weight since the thread was started too. I think it was carrying him in a carrier on long walks that helped, now he's walking that's some calorie burning gone. It also doesn't help that I eat lots of cake and chips :-$ So it's my own fault really.

Yorkie, I have to agree with all of R&A's advice. Get your husband to do the 10:30 feed every night. Give up ironing. It's all wrinkly by the time you get off the train/tube anyway. I am going back to work full-time in September and I am dreading it because I know it's going to be hard work. At the moment MrKatsu and I both do 4 days but for various reasons, it makes sense for me to go back full time. It helps that I have always been very "un-domestic" so feel no pressure to clean up etc. When people ask me - so, who does the housework? I can honestly say no one, we live in filth ahahaha.(OK mild exaggeration)

Legalbeagle, that made me laugh out loud. Last week I left Minikatsu in his cot playing while I made his morning milk. Came back upstairs to find a room that stank of poo. Yep, nappy off and poo all over my darling boy, the cot, the mattress and worst of all, all over beloved Teddy. Yuk yuk yuk.

Is anyone else being kept awake by the loud music coming from a house on Avondale Road? It's been going on since the afternoon adn they've been on lurve songs for the last three hours. I'm reluctant to complain because I think it's a wedding but it's 12:30!! Aarrgghhh, that's a long slow dance by anyone's standards. Especially on a hot night when you can't shut the windows.

*choke* dmf, thanks for posting that (and thanks sledge for asking). It's so hard to get an idea of how much it will really cost, and people tend to skirt around the real number. Oh well, at least that's one childcare option that I'll never have to consider....

Hope you are feeling better about things now, sending you lots of good vibes.

Hi I don;t know if anyone has mentioned it; but get your partner (or whoever will be with you) to help pack your bag or at least watch while you pack it. YOu might not be in a position to get what you need, and your partner could be throwing things around shouting, "is it in the baby bag or is it in your bag or is it in your handbag??" If going to kings, I would definitely recommend bringing in a couple of pillows. Handy for support, bresastfeeding etc For some reason they have a shortage, and I do remember a few women in the same ward looking enviously at my pillows!

"Would it be fair to say that 150 years ago all mothers worked other than those who didn't have to - and those hired nannies?" Moos, that's my feeling exactly. Women have always "worked".

Hi, just wanted to give some feedback. We had a great day; bagged one of the sofas in RFH when we got there so that Minikatsu could have a run around (great suggestion, Sanne Panne). We had lunch in Strada where Minikatsu fell asleep in his buggy (all that running around!) and let us have our gossip/catch up in peace!

But working isn't just about a career though, is it? I work, and the money I earn pays for MiniKatsu's nappies, food, the roof over his head and the shoes on his feet. How would I feed him? Grind stones from the street and mix them with water to make gruel? Beg on the street? Also, who will feed and clothe ME when I am at home with my child? Sorry, I am making a rather extreme statement, but "caring" for a child is also providing for him/her - and in the real world, that means money...I don;t mean extravagant clothes and lifestyle etc, but someone somewhere is paying for it! Also, the pressures faced by men being sole breadwinners shouldn't be underestimated. The commute, dealing with horrible bosses, the day-in-day-out grind...that's not great either. A friend once said to me (a long time ago), how lovely it was being at home with her child and how much better it was than the world of work. She just looked at me blankly when I said - yes, but don;t you feel guilty that your husband has to work full-time and will never be able experience this?

Thanks everyone, lots of suggestions to think about. Apenn, I love wagamamas, that;s WHY I'm a katsuqueen! (But it is quite cramped and busy in there, and I can just imagine the queues on a sunny Saturday ....)