KatsuQueen

Hi wd152 - I'm too tired to be cool or creative, but I know where you are coming from. It's one of the reasons I'm back at work, where I can talk things other than parenthood! Not to say that I don;t enjoy meeting my "mum chums" but the reason we made contact was because of children (NCT, playgroups etc) so inevitably end up talking about kiddy topics. And let's face it, when you don;t know someone really well, the last thing you want to do is to start ranting about something, only to find that they have an strong opposite view. So you just stick to the things to have in common....i.e. sleepless nights. Also great to meet with old friends who knew you "before kids"... Good luck with your search!

I spotted the odd one out! It's the human because the mother is wearing sunglasses...that must be it! If you wear sunglasses your baby's communication development will be stunted forever.Just think of all the countries and cultures in the world where the women don't wear sunglasses, that's where I must have gone wrong with MiniKatsu...doh! (Sorry don't take offense anyone, I'm in a weird mood...)

what curmudgeon said!

Yep, now on Bellenden Road!

Thanks guys! Thomasland sounds fab, this is why I love the forum. Now to look for some cheap hotels round there!

Thanks everyone. Belle - we are very well, thanks. I know what you mean about wasting another day travelling, but it could easily be a 10 hours journey (with traffic etc) and I'd be going mad, let alone Mini Katsu. Thanks for the tips, and esp about Westmorland services, will bear that in mind. Smiler, Dodo1 - yikes 5am! We are really crap at leaving the house, with all the best preparations it always takes us at least 2 hours to get out the door from getting up. So we'd have to get up 3am. The other thing is that we are not really a "driving" family and not sure we could cope with the long drive. I know what you mean about the hotel rooms though, I am gnashing my teeth thinking about the expense. (We did think about flying but that has its own problems!)

Hi, we have been invited to a wedding in Scotland (near Dumfries) and can't face the drive in one go with 2.5 year old MiniKatsu. On the way up we are stopping for one night in Blackpool, but I am a bit stuck for ideas on where to stop on the way back. Ideally we would split the journey in two, proably drive 3-4 hours in the morning, and so have the afternoon/early evening to mooch around where we stopped. I thought of Blackpool for the way up because I thought it might be fun, at least we can "ooh-aah" at the roller coaster if nothing else.... Some one suggested the Peak district, but where? Any suggestions gratefully received!

Looks good. Why are people opposed to it?

Someone told me to write my mobile number on a bit of masking tape (the cream coloured stuff) and stick it on the back of MiniKatsu's coat/t-shirt. (Somewhere he can't reach to peel it off)

kristymac, I hate missing the "good bits" too!

hooray, we'll be in there soon!

Are you sure she has understood the offer correctly? Could it be ?100 a week and then ?1000 at the end of her stay or something like that? I'm only guessing, but it does seem very strange that they have split the payments into weekly/monthly. And it is way over the normal au pair rates (as far as I know)

Susyp, I am embarassed to admit that I am the snorer in our relationship :-$ I asked MrKatsu how he deals with it, and he said he just pushes me harder and harder until I change position or stop snoring. I just asked him to demonstrate how hard he shoves me - quite hard (owww) but I just sleep through it all. During the Easter break we staying with in-laws and no amount of shoving would get me to stop snoring, so he told me to stick my tongue out. I dutifully opened my mouth and slept with my tongue out...all done in a sleep haze. I suppose you have tried a few hard nudges to get him to change position?

I'm always intrigued by references to "non-western societies" in studies about sleep and babies waking up in the night. Particularly when talking about "co-sleeping", "baby wearing" and so on. I was brought up in a "non-western" society and my personal opinion is that sleeping in the same bed with your parents is not about cultural baby-bonding but actually space and money for beds is at a premium - for example, for children to have their own bedroom is seen as pretty indulgent and it is not uncommon for whole families to share a bedroom, for example. So in that context, sharing a bed is just a matter of necessity. Also, I don;t think that mothers in "non-western" societies are more open to the idea of babies more waking and feeding in the night and so on. In more traditional societies; unless you have a maid or other helper, the mother has to cook, prepare meals from scratch, keep the house clean and so on...it would be very likely that you (as wife and mother) would have your elderly in-laws living with you. And you would have to look after their needs too. In my grandmother's day (and for some of my mother's cousins RIGHT NOW) you would have to work in the fields during the day. I'm not saying that these studies are inaccurate (I'm sure they are all academically flawless etc etc) but I would take them with a pinch of salt. A lot is made about extended families and support etc, but the flipside is that there are other pressures - how many women on this forum would like to live with their mother and sister's families sharing living space and kitchen, let alone mother-in-law and sister-in-law? I'm more inclined to believe that women were a bit more "practical" (for want of a better word) eg my mother said that if we woke in the night after 6 weeks she would just give us cool boiled water ::o something I wouldn't dream of doing with MiniKatsu. (She said it worked though, after a few nights, we stopped waking up in the night!)

I really wanted Hero for MiniKatsu if he was a girl, but MrKatsu was not keen i.e. too unusual, she might get bullied etc. Minikatsu turned out to be a boy so that was that. BUT now Mylene Klass has named her baby girl Hero and arrrgghhhhh! Now if I ever have a daughter everyone will think I'm c copying Myleene Klass!

Hi snowboarder, whenever I get depressed reading all the school threads (Minikatsu has just turned two!) I think of all my friends who are having similar woes - having moved away from ED or London. They are also worried about schools; how to get into the "right" school, catchment areas, how terrible the current system is etc etc. One of my colleagues made a few comments, the gist of which was "you will regret staying in South London. You see those gang kids on TV, those will be the kids your son will be in school with..." Eeek. Last thing I heard, she was getting her son intensively coached to try and get into a grammar school (She lives in Kent I think) ....so I guess the secondary schools outside London aren;t all fantastic then, hmmm? I have been warned that this topic will dominate the topic of conversation with all my friends for the next 6 years. Now, that is a depressing thought!

wow, that was v, good. As TG said, really does make you think...

love it! thanks.

It sounds like you are doing great and really in tune with your babies needs. However, just to put another perspective on things - I wasn't that confident about listening to my babies needs and infact, found such advice really intimidating. I.e. all the mothers around me and the NCT leader who said, oh you will know what to do with your baby. Just follow your mothering instincts. Well obviously some women have better mothering instincts that others because when I brought MiniKatsu home I was confused, tired to the point of being delirious and had no clue about what to do, how to look after him, is he really still hungry etc. After a very traumatic crash c-section, I already felt like a failure and could not relate to all the other mothers in my NCT group who were meeting for coffees, walking up and down LL with their babies in slings and seemingly able to to deal with any kind of baby crisis. Whereas I was barely functioning and living in abject terror. Neither me or my husband have any family nearby and we only had each other. (and here comes the "controversial" part) A very good friend recommended Gina Ford routines and I found they worked really well for MiniKatsu and me. Maybe he was just a "routine-y" baby anyway, but it just gave me some measure of control - at least I had a pattern to follow to make sure he was OK. So I wouldn;t be totally negative about those books, they can be useful for some families. Just a little note for anyone who might be in the same situation as me (sorry if this is slightly off topic). Cuppatea, I know what you mean about advice from friends, family and other mums, but OMG I would have done anything for some support......even someone to sit with me during the loooooong hours I spent breastfeeding.

Ruth, if my friend's child pulled MiniKatsu's hair and my friend didn;t take "strong" action eg "stop that" "don't pull his hair that's very naughty" in a very stern voice, we wouldn't be friends for long! (6) In fact, depending on how "friendly" we were, I would do the stern voice myself. IF we were really close friends I would feel OK about it; I don;t mind other adults giving MiniKatsu a telling-off if he;'s being naughty! (He pays more attention then, can't just ignore them like his soft-touch Mummy) HOw old is Seb?

radnrach, good luck with whatever you decide. These decisions are really tough and I am only echoing what others have already said. We did a similar thing to Helsbells suggestion i.e. 3 days childcare; me doing 4 days at work and my husband did 4 days. Psychologically, it helped me to think that he was spending more time with us (i.e. 4 days a week) than the childminder (3 days). Feeling guilty is inevitable it seems. Bad mother because I am rushing off to work, bad colleague because I am rushing off to pick up my son. Good luck whatever you do, but an older colleague told me: (her kids are 11 and 8, I think)she went back to work part time when her kids were very little. Many of her friends, NCT mates etc, who had children the same time as her stayed at home for 5 or 6 years until their kids were in primary school. When they went back to work, their options were limited - now she earns the same working 3 days as they do working full-time. It's not just about the money. She loves working part-time and who is to say that your children need you less when they are 8 or 11? (I will probably get shot down for saying this, please be gentle!)

oops sorry just seen that you haven;t seen a dermatologist yet. WOuld definitely recommend seeing the nurse in Herne Hill (burbage road) she was v. good. We got a referral from our GP.

HI reren, have you got a referral to a dermatology nurse / specialist yet? We saw one in Herne Hill who really helped, she put my mind at ease about using hydrocortisone creams, which I had been avoiding.I still feel guilty about avoiding them, because as soon as we started using them (1% cream and 0.5% for face) his eczema cleared up really quickly and he was so much happier. We tried Epaderm (waste of time and horrible disgusting stuff), aqeous cream (also waste of time), Hydromol (OK) and Doublebase (also OK). Hydromol and Doublebase were just moisturisers really, if he got a flare-up they only thing that would make it go away was hydrocortisone. On a happier note, he has just turned 2 and hardly ever needs hydrocortisone anymore although we still moisturise religiously. I heard about Aveeno cream from the EDF and that has been the best cream so far. (get the cream, the lotion just doesn;t cut it)

Great thread, really interesting. I work full time and find it really tiring, but happy with my decision overall. Although we do need the money*, it's not ALL about money. When Minikatsu was born, I thought - what would I do if money was no object? How would I live my life? Would I like to stay home and concentrate on raising children? Or would I want to do more? and the answer was, staying at home all the time to look after children would not be my choice. Money, or lack of money, is only one factor. That is what I have to be grateful for feminists for; that choice. So now that I know what I want, it's just a case of getting on with it! I work with lots of men, and I can understand Keef's point earlier. A few years ago, one of my colleagues said to me when his son was only a few months old, "when I get home I just want to cuddle my son, but my wife because she's been with him all day - it's like I can't do anything right when it comes to him. Even the way I hold him is wrong." On the other hand, one of my other colleagues used to regularly go to the pub after work, go back to the office at 8pm and call his wife and tell her how he had to work late, etc and he has just finished and was heading home now. (This was a few times a week!!) And one night as we were working late, another male colleague looked at his watch at 6:30 and said, well I'll stay till 7, then the bedtime thing will be all over by the time I get home. Just two examples but this sort of thing happened regularly. Makes me realise how lucky I am with MrKatsu and how we share responsibility. It;s nice to think that all men would always choose family over work, but after working with lots of men (in engineering) I know that they would prefer the easier option (i.e. work...)

This place sounds great. Is it OK on a Saturday or is it unbearably busy?