laurac

Wodey I am 15 weeks pregnant with my second baby and am with the Brierley midwives. So far my experience has been very positive - lovely lovely midwife, a booking in appointment at home at 9 weeks and a second appointment last week - I have to say I am pretty surprised at the frequency of the appointments but definitely not complaining! However to echo jollybaby's advice for stressed-out first time mums, with my first baby I also chose to have a home birth, but had all my antenatal appointments with the community midwives at Kings - and saw a different midwife literally on every visit - and had met the main midwife who delivered me only fleetingly (and she definitely didn't remember me). But I have to say it didn't matter at all - every midwife I came into contact with was lovely, my two delivering midwives were so warm and fantastic (great stitching on the sofa!) so I would say don't feel you are getting second best if you can't get with one of the specialist midwife groups because there is definitely really good care available outside of these groups.

Sillywoman, I think you misread me; as you state my (local) NCT teacher advised no routine for six weeks but then also suggested that babies naturally fall into their own routines after that time. As all the posts above show, some do but I can vouch that some definitely don't!

With my first baby I completely took on board all the NCT stuff (or at least what the course I was on taught) about on demand feeding and letting the baby settle into her own routine so I guess I ended up doing completely the opposite of Gina. My daughter never settled into a routine, never slept for more than 40 minutes in the day, fed constantly (including at night) and it makes me sad now looking back that probably she was over-tired/over-stimulated at times and I didn't get it. I had absolutely no instinct for what to do and was completely shocked that things got so out of control which they did - after 8 months I was completely run-down and unhappy and when I finally quit breast feeding at 14 months and she started sleeping through I felt a hundred times better. I know this won't be the experience of everyone who has taken or takes this route and I look back and think to subjugate yourself completely to your child for a year is perhaps what you should do but at the time it was horrendous and if you are unhappy and tired that can't be great for your baby (or your relationship). I'm pregnant again and although I would still want to feed on demand I will definitely be dipping into Gina so I can try and get more of a routine established (without taking her advice wholesale) and not fall into the traps of last time - I definitely couldn't cope again!!

I went away for three days back in October when my daughter was just a bit over 2 and a half (although not for work but completely frivolous trip to Paris) - I had never been away from her overnight before and she is at home with me four days a week (one day with her dad) and although very social is not great at being left (her aunt who came over this afternoon to give me some time to write an essay had to leave after half an hour as L wouldn't stay in the room with her alone??!!) Having said that trip went absolutely fine - so well that she asked after me only once or twice and wasn't even that interested in talking to me on the phone! I was a little worried in advance so we arranged for her and her dad to go and 'camp over' at her grandma and grandad's (only as far as the wilds of Beckenham so near enough to come home if she wanted that familiarity). This worked really well and they stayed the whole three days; I also think it helped my partner out as I was probably more worried about him coping for the three days straight than I was about her - I also had other people on stand-by to come and help him out if things got desperate! Anyway, I would say that lining up a distraction/treat/something novel is a good way to go and definitely worked for us. I also told her in advance about the trip without going on about it too much- probably just a week in advance so long enough to get used to the idea without it building into a massive issue. Good luck with your trip - I'm sure all will be fine.

Just wanted to re-iterate what lots of people are saying about waiting till they (tell you they) are ready - it is so much easier. For months on end I had potties all over the house, nappy free days, had bought my daughter lots of pants etc. but she just wasn't interested. When she reached 31 months she just told me one day she wanted to wear pants and we just went with it - she didn't wear a nappy again and we had very few accidents. Four months on she is pretty much dry at the night time too and I'm amazed at how painless it has been (unlike most of the other 'stages' we have been through!). I know I felt a ridiculous pressure to get on with it (my mum kept telling me how me and my sisters were 'trained' at one) but next time I am definitely going to be much more relaxed!

My daughter had really bad wind initially and Pickles stair-bouncing and 'tiger in a tree' both worked really well. Another good technique shown me by a midwife friend is to sit the baby on your lap and hold them with one hand under the chin. Using the other hand you gently rotate them from the waist - I hope that makes sense - it takes a bit of practice but really really works if you do it immediately after finished feeding.

Like Sanity Girl my pregnancy weight went quickly and after 8/9 months of excessive breastfeeding I weighed less than I had in years. Ironically I was so shattered there was no enjoyment in it at all! My daughter is now two and a half and in the last year I have strangely acquired the body of someone who has just given birth - my tummy is now distinctly crepey looking and my muffin top is out of control! Like others are saying it's definitely the change in shape which has been worse than any weight gain because am not sure weigh more than before it's just more badly distributed. But it's definitely not something I would obsess about as much as before I had my daughter and one of the last things I feel like doing when I have some free time is exercise although sure this is just the sign of a very bad attitude!

Had my daughter baptised earlier this year CoE at St Giles in Camberwell and the stipulations were the same as those outlined by Trinity - we are outside the boundaries but they were happy to book us in for the christening after a couple of months attendance (this was not stipulated by them, my choice to attend to get a sense of the church having no experience of CoE). I found them very welcoming and the fact that we are unmarried was never brought up as I feared it would be in a catholic church (I was brought up catholic). Still attending and quite enjoy it - its a really friendly church.