In a makeshift back office, Lagos Airport 08:30 Hrs.... 45 Degrees. Rain falls & the air is thick & humid * a ceiling fan chops the air * "Oh dear, dear Sir, your return ticket to London is very incorrect" "What, but I flew here with B.A & it says..." "NO NO Sir, it is wrong , you must pay a fine" " What fine...OH HOLD ON " "I must call the Police if you don't pay this fine" "Ah Ha ..but...( pulls kettle out of bag ) I HAVE A KETTLE " " Oh a Morphy Richards travel kettle, why did you not say before my friend " " Well I didn't think..." "Sadly although your kettle is in order, your luggage is wrong Sir" " I also have a George Forman Grill ( plonks grill on table ) right here " * silence as the customs man opens the grill * " Everything seem to be in order Sir, enjoy your flight " W**F