nina_maniana

Sorry JL thought it?s be helpful. Whenever a stranger is rude or awful to me it makes me feel better to think they?re probably a good person just having a bad day. But perhaps you?d prefer to stay indignant which is of course your right :-) By the way i?m not disagreeing with you on what the right course of action would be for a parent in this situation. I bet if you got this mother on any other day she?d agree too. Because most people try to be good parents. Most people do discipline their kids. Most of the time. I just question the value of ?mum shaming? on the internet, where you can always find an example of where someone has behaved in a way they probably wouldn?t if they had their time again or had perceived a situation differently. I can only hope that all my worst parenting moments aren?t picked up on and plastered on the internet. I?m sure you?d feel the same about your errors. We all make mistakes. Or this woman and her kid could have been the spawn of satan, but in general life is just better if we give others the benefit of the doubt. Hard with a black eye i know. But still. Mistakes happen. Your mum got in the way of an overexcited kid, she wasn?t purposefully attacked by thugs. It shouldn?t be worth too much of your mental energy.

A shout out here for an underrated local night out. Last wednesday of every month the Philosophy Foundation run a philosophy discussion group at Subplot 57, which is a speakeasy gin bar underneath / inside leaf and groove in forest hill, opposite the sylvan post. It sounds like a strange way to spend an evening, but is actually a load of fun, most people (apart from the folks who run it) don't know about philosophy, we just drink loads of gin from the bar's amazing selection and stretch our brains a bit. I highly recommend it!

Ps: 72 is not elderly, all the 72 year olds i know would consider themselves middle aged :-)

I don?t know if this will help but a bit of perspective may make you feel a bit more calm about situations. As the parent of a child (albeit a much younger one than who you have mentioned) who regularly behaves appallingly in public despite all of my best attempts to raise him into a decent human being... You just don?t know. The kid could be autistic. He could have a brain tumour and be terminally ill so his mum is going easy on him. Maybe she?d spent all day yelling at him and didn?t have the strength to shout any more. Maybe she didn?t realise how heavy the balloon weights are (i was hit in the face by one by my aforementioned child and got a black eye, it hurt like hell). Maybe she had a parent who was dying and was distracted. Maybe her relationship is breaking down. Of course maybe they were just awful people. They exist too. It just strikes me that every generation wants to think the world is going to hell in a handcart and the younger generation have no respect etc etc. But if you look at things through others? eyes you may see there are angles you hadn?t considered. Hope your mum is ok.

This girl is available to babysit in the week: /forum/read.php?5,2063725

If you have space you could have someone live in for less than the ?3k per month all in. That's the route we went down (nanny, not au pair) - we were worried about lack of privacy but it's actually been lovely having someone young and fun living in the house.

Upstairs at the lordship pub is quite nice for that kind of thing

Try James at Olympicubs - absolutely brilliant and does themed parties

Most day nannies in our area expect ?12 - ?15 per hour. At the lower end of the scale that would be about ?3,500 a month gross rising from there. If you could get someone for ?11 an hour (net) you should be set but I never interviewed anyone who would go that low and I was interviewing a few years back.

I tend to think smells are par for the course living in a city? Like it might be exhaust fumes, or take away places or someone having bonfires or barbecues. Nothing you can do about it really... and of course one man's meat is another's murder, I don't mind the smell myself.

We are at the Lordship Lane Surgery jest past Dulwich Library. It's brilliant, just a few doctors so they get to know you really well and genuinely helpful and kind reception staff.

Just don't pay it. Easy. It's very hard for a landlord to evict you, and they wouldn't be able to do so legally over something like this to the best of me knowledge.

ESPH used to let you pay as you go for their spin classes

Highly recommend James from Olympicubs. he does all round entertainment, does magic tricks too. He had a group of 3 year olds round my house recently enraptured.

Are you sure it's not fox poo? The foxes round us do turns which look pretty human. Understandable as they eat entirely human food I guess.

I would tell the police - they can get the CCTV. I'm guessing you have a reason to think the person was not the kid's mother, but god if that had been my child I cannot express how much I would want to know. In the meantime do you have any more description of the carer and child?

Our nursery does the same, which I do think teaches dreadful habits. We asked nursery not to (apparently its a common request), and they offer him fruit or yoghurt instead.

I bought fish off this bloke once. The fish was really horrid (not off, just the cuts were not right so the fish really chewy and weird) so I never bought from him again - but may just have been bad luck.

We usually just get take away from Mr liu but went in to try the dim sum lunch last week. Thought it was really nice (I don't think the food has really changed from what it was but I liked it anyway) and the service was absolutely charming.

"I suppose my follow up question to you would be what distinguishes a happy child from a contented child? in the sense that most kids are ostensibly happy when they are watching tv and eating crisps but there is a gap between that and really living well which would set them on the path to contentment. What happens in that gap?" Good question and one I've not thought about before. Maybe I'd go for something like 'flourishing'? Broadly... having the opportunity to learn about the world and have lots of experiences so they can become the best version of themselves, whatever that may be. Finding a path in life, love and friendship that they want to be on and embracing it. Being supported enough to know that most failure isn't the end, but a learning experience. God I sound like a self help manual, but you get the jist!

I had same. Police not interested but actually the royal mail investigations team were great. I had to get in touch with the CEO's office direct and threaten to report to the press but when they got involved they looked at all the cases of mail theft and tracked back to a single rogue postie who had all the routes in common. Not rocket science I guess and a total pain to get someone to actually investigate but I had thought sorted... worrying if it's starting up again.

Thorniest parenting problem - realising I am raising two humans who are completely separate from myself, their own individuals with their own ideas and preferences. They often don't respond the way I would in certain situations so means discipline is a constant matter of trial and error. (I was a pretty focussed, obedient child. I have two boys who are... erm... not. And applying the 'foolproof' methods my parents used with me has got me nowhere). Ideal mum or dad would raise happy contented kids who turn into happy contented adults. End of. I have a feeling these parents come in all shapes and sizes.

Reckon ?13 an hour net? We did ?14 in a similar situation but that was for a share for ?1 extra premium for the hassle of 2 sets of bosses.

A nanny will want around ?14 an hour net for a share. So that works out more like ?23 an hour gross for the employers.... split down the middle it's more like ?11/12 an hour. Still for wraparound probably the most practical option.

Would be interested to hear if the result is any good. I was utterly determined to keep my eldest sugar free up to the age of 2 and spent weeks trying every recipe I could for his first birthday cake and really, all were disgusting. Maybe not disgusting but they didn't taste like cake! Having thought on it at the time I decided to just make a regular carrot cake (naturally low in sugar), let the baby have a bit and then went back to sugar free for the next year. Nothing bad happened ;-)