Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal. Tsunami Bank has been hit by a wave of bad debts, and it is understood That the numbers at Sudoku Bank just don't add up. Satsuma Bank is apparently going to be restructured by being broken up into smaller segments, and rumour has it that Koi Bank has been netted by a major foreign competitor. Meanwhile shares in Judo Bank have been thrown into turmoil and are likely to hit the floor soon following an announcement from Hara-Kiri Bank that it was going into voluntary liquidation. Management at Rickshaw Bank have asked all the staff to pull together to get through this difficult time. Plans for recapitalisation at Kimono Bank remain under wraps. Geisha Bank, which after its nationalisation, had a rush of depositors looking to reduce their debt stress Further news as we get it. Russian Banks seem to be bucking the trend and going from strength to strength: Although journalists could find no one from Balalaikabank to comment because they were unsure who is pulling the strings. The CEO of Vodkabank said his staff were in high spirits. Hermitage Bank of St Petersburg said that they were about to move into new headquarters, because the present ones "are like a museum." The CEO of Georgia Bank was unavailable for comment, saying he had something on his mind. However, the boss of the Kalashnikov Bank was more forthcoming, inviting journalists to ask questions with the words "fire away." Shares in Cossack Bank went up half a Rouble on the news that a new CEO was about to climb into the saddle. The Chairman of Volga Bank reported that things were flowing along nicely. The only bad news on the Russian stockmarket was that Borschbank's shares dropped 5% on rumours that the company has landed in the soup. No one was available at the Samovar Bank, because all the staff were on a tea break.
