The Nappy Lady

linkg's baby was stillborn, but resuscitated prada-nic. But until they got him breathing his brain would have been starved of oxygen, so there is a chance of damage. But he is adorable, and so far so good.... Molly

Helena Handbasket - very good, sensible advice, which I whole heartedly agree with. Despite having had two wonderful, wonderful drug free home births (I'm a lucky XXX I know), and being a huge advocate of natural birth, I also believe every mother should have the choice to have the birth they want, and also to feel empowered (and accepted) in having the birth that is best for baby and themselves. As you say sometimes nature has a different plan, and at the end of the day, although the birth itself seems like such a huge thing in the moment, in the years to come it is only a tiny part of the 'motherhood' experience, and a healthy Mum and baby are much more important. Of course we are programmed to be obsessed by the birth in the latter stages of pregnancy and it is hard when things feel as if they are not going to plan. I think in some ways deciding on a planned C-Section allows you to regain the control, so in some cases it really is the best option, if only for that reason. I know one of the reasons I loved my home births was because I felt 'in control' of the experience, and I do think that is very important. What upsets me more are the unneccesary interventions that take place in some labours which can ultimately lead to a very bad labour experience. My pregnancy yoga teacher once described a natural labour as a straight line, and every intervention as taking you one step further away from the line...and at each step it becomes harder to get back to the line, although it is always possible. A planned C-Section based on strong medical reasons I have no issue with at all though. HeidiHi and Claribel good luck, however it works out the most important thing to remember is that you'll soon be holding your babies. I hope they decide to 'follow the light' and get their heads down! Molly

Ouch indeep Karen, I feel your pain. Baby C has 4 teeth at 9 months (Hanstands, so impressed with 8 at 6 months). We recently had 1 day where I got bitten 4 times...and at one point she actually made me cry it hurt so much. Every time I took her off, said a firm "No Biting" and made her wait (even though she then was complaining) before putting her back on. Since then it hasn't happened again in the same way thank goodness, but sometimes when she is feeding and dropping off to sleep I do start to feel her teeth and have to stick my finger in to unlatch her and get her back on properly (or not if she is actually sleepy enough). It is horrible though, quite scary to have to put such a sensitive part of your body into such a dangerous situation. Hope the young man gets the message soon, I'm sure he will if you make it clear biting = NO BOOBY!! Molly xx

Very true Macroban, and again it is cultural - down to Mum's being at home with their babies full time and therefore able to potty train sooner, and also (dare I say it) cloth nappies helping the children to make the necessary connections sooner....my Mum had 6 of us, all in Terry Squares, and we were all potty trained by 2 at the latest (boys slower than girls of course). Feeling of a full bladder = feeling of release of bladder = Wet nappy It is why a lot of parents these days feel 'under pressure' from the Grandmothers about potty training, I don't think the Grandmothers mean any harm, it is simply that back in their day as you say it was considered very odd if you had a child in nappies at 18 months old. I have the odd customer come to me desperate to potty train a child of 3 years plus and asking about switching to cloth....no point at that stage, but often a flannel inside a disposable will help the child to work out what is happening, and what they need to start doing. Budur, I find your experience very interesting and would love to hear and update once your little girl is at nursery. Thank you for sharing it with us. Molly

Poor little thing, they do hang around at bit, I remember being surprised by how long it took for the last marks to vanish. Maybe ask the chemist if there is anything that might help? I have some stuff you can add to the bath...hang on I'll just go and get it... OK...Aveeno Baby, Baby Colloidal.....Bath Powder with Colloidal Oatmeal.... It comes in sachets and is for the treatment of sensitive, dry or irritated skin in babies and children. I got it to use if mine gets heat rash, bad nappy rash when teething etc.....rather like the threads before about putting a little bag of oats in the bath, I do think it can help. Otherwise, I'd say something like Bio Oil could help, as long as the skin is no longer 'broken' where the scabs are. Hope she's happier about it all soon. At least now she's had it.... Molly

Hurrah - congratulations to both of you and thank you for the update...been thinking of you and wondering... Molly

Agree - I'd say he's just ready to drop that nap I'm afraid....

Saddo that I am I weighed myself on the morning I went into labour, and again that night after having the baby and I had lost an amazing 1.5 stone...baby was 7lbs 8oz so goodness knows how much water etc. I shed with her!!!! It has to be one of the best post labour boosts you can get...the rest took a lot longer to come off (I once read a fantastic quote - 9 months up and 9 months down which I firmly believe in).......I have dreams of making it back to a gym one day, but for now I'm just happy dreaming! Molly

Ahhh sb, hope she's doing better now....I reckon Bonjela type gels are a total waste of time, Anbesol is the only topical stuff I rate - having used it myself on mouth ulcers it is great stuff.

.....hanging head in shame and slinking off into a corner..... If it is any consolation baby C and I both have the same horrible cold now....

Interesting to see such strong opinions on here. IObviously in my 'professional' (ha, not sure you can really call it that) role as a Nappy Lady advisor I get asked about EC fairly regularly. Our general advice has always been that it can work, but is really more suited to cultures where the baby is carried around on Mum's hip 24/7, and there is ready access to a toilet (or if it comes to it a hole in the dirt)....more difficult for parents who are likely to be wanting to be out and about at various coffee mornings etc. and also as I said before returning to work when baby is under 12 months, or even 2 years old. I know far more people who try and give up, than those that stick with it. Of course I am biased, but I am really happy using my cloth nappies, my baby is changed immediately after a poo (9 times out of 10 at least, I admit I miss the odd one!), and with No. 1 I didn't feel in any rush to potty train but it happened easily and naturally at 24 months - I could have pushed and done it sooner, but I felt no need to. I know loads of people think cloth nappies are a real hassle, but I reckon EC would be a whole lot more. On the disposable front, apart from the landfill issue I really dislike the chemical smell of them, and also the way babies look like they have a cod piece on when the gels swell up...but that is a whole other debate...if the choice was disposables or EC I'd be trying EC, but while I have the cloth nappy option I will take that instead! Molly

Good point Special Chocolates (love that name by the way). I find the bathtime thing key in making bathtime run smoothly - it keeps baby going for the last hour when otherwise she'd probably go to sleep too early, and actually she has a fun time, and then goes down like a dream....well, at least most of the time. Molly

Anbesol Liquid is a topical anaesthic rather than systemic medicine. You just get a bit on your finger and rub it on the baby's gum where the tooth is coming through. If you want you can give Calpol or similar alongside it, if they are really suffering. When my now 5 year old was cutting her molars at 2 ish she used to run towards me when she saw the bottle come out because she was so glad of the pain relief! I tended to use it instead of systemic medicine when I could. I'm all for taking the natural route, but seriously, I think there are times when we need to embrace the wonders of medicine, and having experienced the pain of a wisdom tooth coming through I think at points when they are teething Calpol or similar really is needed. My little one cut her bottom 2 teeth without any problems, but when her top 2 were coming she was really unhappy and clearly in pain. I held out for a while and then gave her a small dose of Calpol and I could see the change in her as it took effect, and again when it was wearing off. I don't think it is fair to make them suffer, if they are clearly unhappy. I notice that recently a lot of medicines have had their minimum age raised a lot (all the ones that have 2 active ingredients), so stuff I gave my older daughter is now only licensed for children over 6....if they are now being this careful I honestly don't think Calpol would be available if there was any issue with it. I know this view isn't going to be in line with what everyone else things, but really, some babies have serious medical problems that require hardcore medication, I don't think a few doses of Calpol to get a baby through teething pain are going to have any ill effects. My view, my children of course, and no offence intended to those who choose another route..... Molly

Belle, are you local? If so, I'd be happy to pop around one day to hold baby while you take 30 minutes to do whatever - sleep, bath, jobs etc....just PM me. I will drink a cup of tea and have a 'small baby fix' while you get a well deserved break. I am off on hols soon, but happy to try to fit something in before I go...have Mum with me for next couple of weeks so even easier..... Molly

Snowboarder, don't worry about feeling that way, just because I love the newborn bit doesn't mean everyone else has to, and I still get stressed, flustered, tired etc. etc. like everyone else, it's just I think I have moved on enough to forget all that to some extent. I know many Mum's who really dislike the newborn phase and really don't start to enjoy their children until they get to about 2 years old, we are all different, as are our babies! Having a newborn is such a huge responsibility, one abiding memory I have is immediately after my first was born (at home) I went to have a bath and the midwives asked me if I wanted her to come in with me, to which I replied "Can I?" and they said "Well, it's your baby, you can do whatever you like". That's when it kind of hit home....and again about 30 minutes later when they left us with her, and then again a week after that when I was alone at home with her for the first time, and it felt very scary for the first few hours. But you know, I always loved babies, and always longed to hold other peoples (friends) but felt it would be annoying to keep asking, or that they would feel I was imposing...now of course I know that most Mum's are thankful of getting a few minutes to dash about and do 10 of the jobs that have been on the never ending list...so I always offer to cuddle if I get a chance...but hindsight is such a wonderful thing.....so having my own that I could cuddle AS MUCH AS I LIKED, FOR AS LONG AS I WANTED was fab....and still is mostly...apart from now she (no 2) just wriggles off all the time to practice her crawling and cruising....sigh.... As for the being late, flustered, hot and sweaty thing...is there a medical reason for this I wonder...maybe hormonal? With both mine I have found in the month or two immediately after having them whenever I went out I seemed to get much more hot and sweaty than normal (sorry if TMI). So, the classic nightmare of trying to get new buggy in and out of car / put up or down with crying baby etc. becomes even more of a nightmare. My big thing is that other Mums always seems to have a perfectly behaved baby sitting in a buggy while they shop, but mine have to be either asleep, or in the buggy for 30 minutes or less before they get really bored and start yelling, so if trying to shop (i.e. for clothes etc. which to be honest I generally just avoid doing with a baby in tow) I will usually end up with a buggy loaded with bags and a baby on my hip instead...or breastfeeding while I shop 1 handed...madness, sigh. Maybe I'm just too soft and should leave them yelling in the buggy, but it has never really worked for me. Molly

Hi Tess, Hmmm, my 9 month old can turn over and sit up in her grow bag, so not sure that will help - or it may for a while but not long term. Not really sure what to suggest, I'd say it is only a phase and she will, quickly I hope, get over it. The minute I put mine in her cot she rolls onto her front, and I only find her sitting up playing in the morning, or very rarely in the night if she wakes, though more often she is on her back crying if in the night. I think you just need to keep doing what you are doing and she will figure out not to do it unless it is 'getting up time'. Good luck, I hope it is a very short phase! Molly

No good advice, but just to say GOOD LUCK, and keep us posted if you can....sending positive labour vibes your way :)) Molly

I think the theory is great, but it really does depend on both the parent and the child. Not practical for those who are going back to work and leaving baby with a nursery or childminder, and not so practical for those who are out and about a lot (I note it has worked for you), but I'm not sure all parents would cope with the level of attention required to 'catch' the baby at the right moments. My 9 month old is really sneaky with her poos, I do see her doing them sometimes, but often really don't notice until afterwards, so I have to check her nappy regularly, and especially when I think one is 'due'. Very different from her big sister - I always knew when she was doing one. It is interesting, and maybe I will try sitting her on a potty or holding her over the loo next time, but I have to say I can't imagine her staying on it long enough to do anything as she's so mobile now....will be interesting to find out (and hopefully not too messy)!! I firmly believe babies are much cleverer than we ever give them credit for, so I guess anything is possible! Molly

Oh I'm so sorry - was hoping that maybe all the other babies of similar ages were following similar lines. I think what has helped for us is that C is now crawling full on (high speed - very funny) and so very tired by the end of the day. The more time she has at ground level the better the nights sleep we get. So I'm now in a zone of trying not to be out and about with her in the buggy too much, unless a nap is due. I'm also trying not to let her nap too much in the day, the best routine seems to be either one really big sleep at lunchtime - 2 to 3 hours, or two short naps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Personally I prefer the one big lunchtime sleep, so I try to keep her busy and active in the morning, and have even resorted to evil things like putting her down, giving her to someone else, or changing her nappy if I think she's trying to cuddle up or breastfeed and have a doze before I consider it to be time! It is worth it in the long term and unless she's really tired I can usually distract her enough that she cheers up again and keeps going for a bit longer. We had another good night - 8pm to 7am, so that is two in a row, and I feel so much better for it. No doubt she'll get a cold or start teething within the next few days so it will all be pear shaped again...sigh. Molly x

Further to the 'early waking thread' we had going recently....Baby C actually slept 8pm to 7am last night - HURRAH!!! Don't get me wrong, it isn't a guaranteed thing, we still get a mix of good and bad nights...with some 4/5am feeds, and actually 2 nights ago she went to bed at 7pm and then decided to start the day at 4.30am no, no, no, no, no...but I do feel we are getting closer to the dream of a regular 11-12 hour night with her. How is everyone else doing? I hope some of you are making progress too. Molly

OMG Fuschia, that is so funny...poor man, can you imagine! EmmaG, I feel you are now suitably warned of what lies ahead, you are streets ahead of all the other mums-to-be who haven't read this thread! At about 6.30pm last night I stopped for a moment to look at myself...my black combats and breastfeeding top were both covered in random bits of half chewed food (mostly pale colours so showing up really wel) which the baby had managed to smear on me over the course of the day, one nipple was poking through the lower layer of the BF top (not actually showing, but making a bizarre effect), one hook on the top was undone from a feed I'd done (no idea when), my mascara - which I had at least managed to apply that morning was half way down my face and I was drinking a semi cold cup of tea....having just managed to get my 5 year old over an hour long tantrum, and my 9 month old over having fallen over (yet again) whilst cruising.....ahh the joy of parenthood, just a normal day I guess!

When my oldest started walking she was exactly 12 months old. As I recall she got her first shoes after about a month, and I was amazed by what a difference it made to her. The shoes seemed to help her balance massively and she was off like a shot. I'm not sure what the general advice is, but I don't think it is a huge issue when you get them....on the grounds that I went to Kings for an outpatient appointment with my 9 month old about a month ago - she has one foot that turns in just slightly and they were talking about referring her to have special shoes made with a reverse camber to help the foot straighten. The physio said she could refer her right away (as she is now standing and cruising), or we could wait and do it in September which is what I have decided to do. I can't imagine they would have offered/discussed this with me unless it was OK to do so. Molly

I really think the symbiotic nature of breast feeding is natures way of helping to make you do that. You really don't have much choice in the early days, if you are breast feeding you have to sit down a good deal of the time, and of course breast feeding releases endorphines that make you sleepy...all very clever. I recall one book I read during my first pregnancy said that after the birth you should imagine you have a large wound you need to allow to heal for the first week or so, and rest as much as possible. I think that is a good way to remind yourself of what you've gone through. But of course if you feel up to getting out, and showing your baby off that's fine...just make sure not to over commit in those early days. I love the 'baby moon' those first days when life feels fuzzy around the edges...sigh...I look back and I KNOW I've got rose tinted spectacles about it, but even so, for me I think it is just the BEST time ever. That combination of overwhelming love, pride and joy in the new little life you've created.... Gosh, better stop before I get broody again! Molly

For Covent Garden I usually do either the 63 to Blackfriars/Fleet Street and walk it, or train Nunhead to Blackfriars and walk it....not a bad walk up Fleet Street, and then up through the Strand, takes about 15 to 20 minutes... Nunhead Station not great for buggy's either due to stairs, but 9 times out of 10 someone helps me.... Oh, another place I love to go - Princess Diana Memorial Playground by Kensington Palace, it's fabulous. The best route I've found so far, though not buggy friendly is in to Blackfriars, then walk up to St Paul's and get the Central Line tube along to Queensway - it's 2 minutes walk from there. Not sure about buses, when I last checked it out it seemed like hard work. I have walked it from Oxford Street, it was a nice, but fairly long walk through the park. http://www.royalparks.org.uk/parks/kensington_gardens/diana_playground.cfm Molly

Sadly I'm working on Tuesday....hope you all have a lovely time, and do post if you arrange another meeting, hopefully I will be free to come along sooner or later. Have fun, hoe your babies are better very soon Fuschia. Molly x