chantelle

thanks for those tips, lghlady.

our fault for agreeing to always keep the kitty topped up to ?20. So every week one family puts in ?20, theoretically taking out the change from the week before, but there never is any! We asked for receipts at one point but it didn't happen. Petrol comes out of it but a few miles travel can't be that much!! good childcare is gold though...

new mother, I think it's only fair to cover the cost of playgroups if the parents want them to attend. I do get peeved by our nanny running through a ?20 weekly kitty though, for only three days and when they only ever go to low-cost activities, like 1-pound playgroups. It's a sort of pay rise by stealth.

we have just given our much-loved share nanny a small raise above the ?10 net ph she was making. It works out to about 5%, which is more than the measly pay rise I waited 2.5 years to get. Our nanny claims nanny shares are going for ?14 ph in ED but I have never heard a figure that high. Maybe ?12 ph at the upper end.

I'd just say - don't be too hard on yourself. Every child is different so it's impossible to know if your toddler would be sleeping better if you'd done a few things differently. That said, I am a big believer in routine - after the first 10 months or year, I don't think it really works for many children before that - and even 2 doesn't seem too late to get a strict bedtime routine going. I did try variations on Gina Ford in the first 6 months or so and my son never took to it. He didn't even have a regular nap until around 8 months - god those first months were tough! If I were to do things differently, I'd probably worry less about exclusive breastfeeding. I feel like I nearly killed myself to get enough milk in my son, who was underweight until he was on solids, when he went sharply up the chart centiles!

another vote for valet - we did it last month, left our car for two weeks and it was still cheaper than cabs each way. (ca. ?60)

you have to pay 100%. If you are employing a nanny, you pay for 52 weeks a year, just like any employer. you have some freedom over how many holiday days you offer in total, since you can include bank holidays in the total (though many people don't, or only in part.) For a full time employee, the legal minimum is 5.6 weeks (28 days), though this can include bank holidays. see here for calculations on part time: http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/layer?topicId=1079427399

it's a hard call, of course. When I wasn't being horribly bullied and beat up by my brother (3.5 years older), I was desperately lonely. Fortunately we became friends as adults but it really made my younger years unpleasant. we almost certainly won't be able to have another, so I am embracing the bright side of one child (he is now 2.5). Long haul holidays are affordable and relatively pain free, private schooling is within reach if need be, and we can comfortably live in a 3-bed house with regular visitors without an eventual squeeze. If I had the choice though i'd probably want another, it would be hard to resist the possibility.

hi, anyone know anything about the care through DMC Chadwick Road?

i run that same route and let's not forget - it is almost entirely residential. i carry a rape alarm, can't hurt. i also carry a fiver, can't hurt either.

Colin Davis - 02076 167753 - works out of Harley Street. ACU at Guys Hospital is also good and does both NHS and private funding.

i'd try to explain and reason with her, repeatedly. She should be just about able to understand consequences, and that picking at mummy means no feeding. Maybe there's something else you could introduce for her to hold and make that same comforting motion while she feeds??

yes, it is all about the child vouchers. i wouldn't take it as an indication of anyone's ability.

I've used Tesco for about 6 years and have had absolutely no problems. I tried Ocado once but didn't like the selection and there was way too much excess packaging.

my mother used to make semi-matching dresses for us for holidays when I was a child. I felt very grown up ...

I think you really need your husband to help you make the time. Your only options seem to be first thing in the morning or early evening. It will be dark now, but a 30-minute dash around the park a few times a week will make a massive difference. I'd also make the time on the weekends - surely your hubby can handle an hour with the little ones? I run on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and try to get out twice a week on the days we have a nanny - if I'm home by 5pm I have an hour to run and shower. also, depending on where you work, maybe you could incorporate a Boris Bike into your commute? Say, get off at Elephant & Castle or London Bridge and cycle to work? I've also considered running home from work though haven't done it yet ... Congrats on your weight loss so far!

My advice that has seemed at least somewhat successful with my 2.2 year old is to go right over to him, firmly hold his arms down at his sides while looking him in the eyes and saying - no throwing. It depends on what it is though. I ignore a first round of food throwing, when he is obviously just trying to get a rise out of me, but if he does it again I take him down from the table and end the meal. (can always go back later when he is ready to be a good boy). Shoes being thrown from the back of the car warrant a strong response.

i don't think it's ridiculous to plan around a school - particularly whilst renting and having lots of flexibility.

my parents told me all the details at around the age of 4. It was great because I just "always knew" and never had any moments of shock. I'm sure it seemed a bit strange at the time but it is "a fact of life" after all!

I think it's a nice universal benefit when the government can afford it - but the reality is we can't afford it now so niceties must be cut. My family doesn't need it and I'd rather someone who needs the social safety net gets more help. I think they should tweak the dual income - single income discrepancy though.

sillywoman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > > I think you've misread chantelle. I don't recall > anyone condoning these things on this thread. > No-one has said anything about doing drink & drugs > regularly being inevitable or normal at 14, or > saying that 14 year olds at unsupervised parties > is acceptable silly woman, i'm not looking for an argument but Fuschia said "it's not such a big deal being at a party with dope and alcohol at 14" and Moos said "it's inevitable that she will be going to parties with alcohol and possibly drugs at her age." regardless, I did not mean to suggest you or anyone else doesn't care what is happening with their children. incidentally, I was curious about the statistics and found that in 2008, something like 80% of 11-15 year olds had tried alcohol at least once. About 27% of 14 year olds had tried cannabis or any other drug, including things like solvents and poppers, at least once. Personally I think 14 is too young for these things but there you go.

I have neices this age (14 and 16) and their parents (and the rest of family such as me and their grandmothers) are their friends on FB. They also talk to their parents about what goes on at parties. Maybe because their parents have stressed how important it is to have an open dialogue about drug and alcohol use. I'm shocked by the laissez faire attitude here - that it's acceptable to be doing these things at 14 and going to unsupervised parties, and that the child's privacy is regarded as more important than their safety. It is not inevitable or normal that your child will regularly do drugs and alcohol at age 14. And they should be not be at unspervised parties until age 16 or older, in my opinion.

i'd go for the small 3 bed house in ED (or Peckham Rye - even better) - you may get lucky and find something with a decent garden. Rent should be less than ?400/week.

snss and molly - many thanks for the info. my son is three in July 2011 so imagine he'd start nursery in the following term but we'll see ...

snss75- it's nice to hear good things about Bellenden, since that is our nearest school by far. Can I ask how you went about applying for nursery there? Do I just call in or is there a formal process?