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jaybee82

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Everything posted by jaybee82

  1. Mach 3 Turbo Fusion Ultra Sonic Hyper blades with the jizzy gel. Pack of 4, ?1,237. Yep, decided these are the ultimate in unnecessary luxury.
  2. Ahh dont worry, I'm sure all these people are in the same boat... Strange Professions Particularly enjoyed 'Professional Whistler' and 'Chicken Sexer'. Imagine having to admit that as your occupation.
  3. I saw a couple of blokes selling novelty swine flu masks on the way to work today, 2 for a tenner. NO JOKE! I also think its a big opportunity for those cheeky northern monkeys Oasis to write a new song. They've pretty much wailed the word 'sunshinnneeeee' to death, so why not chuck in 'swwwwiiiiineeeeee' for a bit of variety.
  4. Newcastle have got too far for too long putting in average performances with very average players...good news! Barcelona 3 Chelsea 1 Man Utd 2 Arsenal 1
  5. One of my friends said Febreze in the pub the other night! I wonder how the hell they managed in the war with no Febreze?!?!
  6. Hahaha - I dont think either publication is exactly pulling material!
  7. Hahaha Sophie - "if it means I get my Beef". Found that quite funny! I guess condoms are essential. Sex is the luxury!
  8. OK, so I was in the queue for the checkouts at Sainsbury's at the weekend, buying my usual man-fayre of meat, lager and a copy of Men's Health when I noticed this sheepish looking bloke in front of me who appeared to be arranging his items on the conveyor in a rather shifty way. From what I could tell, they consisted of a copy of The Guardian and Angling Times arranged in a 'tent' formation, with a packet of easy cook dried Basics Farfalle at either end. On top of this the whole megastructure was managing to withstand the movement of the conveyor belt very well, probably owing to some pre-planning on the part of the architect. Impressive stuff. The upshot was that this literary wigwam was made for one purpose...to conceal a packet of condoms. A young girl sat behind the checkout and had a little smirk to herself as the chap hastily threw them into his Bag For Life...anyone would think he was buying an eighth of Crack and a 12-bore. Anyway, I digress. In these times of tightening our belts we all still need our luxury items...and thinking about it a packet of condoms would rank quite highly with me (along with decent loo roll and Ben and Jerry's Phish Food). So lets hear it, both the weird and the wonderful...what luxury items could you simply not do without?
  9. jaybee82

    Tit Monday

    I always think 3/4 length's look a bit like plus fours....i.e. terrible. If you're going to consciously wear ankle swingers you can't do it by halves...I'm fairly certain a combover and Jarvis Cocker style glasses are a legal requirement.
  10. I'm going for "Now I'm the king of the swingers whooa, the Jungle VIP..."
  11. Clearly the tabloids are pulling the strings here, but as unfortunate as it sounds if she does get a record deal (and with how fickle people can be) I can see her having a very short shelf life. Cassius, it may be worth getting on YouTube and looking her up - it really was quite a remarkable performance.
  12. Susan Boyle So, Susan Boyle wowed the judges of ITV1's Britain's Got Talent this week with a quite amazing voice, but many of us today are transfixed on aesthetics and actual talent often comes a distant second. Is it better to be attractive and vacuous than unattractive and interesting?...Are they even mutually exclusive?!
  13. I highly recommend 'In The Loop' with James Gandolfini. Very well cast and extremely funny, was constantly laughing through the entire film!!
  14. OK, maybe I was a bit hasty... Susan Boyle? You have to say that eyebrow is pretty hot.
  15. Ive always thought theres something about Christine Hamilton...and I'm not talking about Neil.
  16. Its the annoying (and in my opinion completely pointless) Media Direct partition that most new Dell machines come with. Not an awful lot you can do to get rid of it besides repartition your hard drive (mucho aggro), though you can stop the notifications in the software. If you go to Add/Remove Programs in Control Panel you may even be able to uninstall the software controlling it.
  17. Firstly, listen to 'Has It Come To This?' by The Streets. It will tell you all you need to know about becoming/sustaining the life of a chav.
  18. Another big tune for me was 'Lord Of The Dance'...there was a filthy version of it knocking about school that soon became the norm. I'm sure the version I know now is a weird hybrid of the two.
  19. Skol/Cherry Brandy/ Happy Shopper Cider/Mad Dog Been told Buckfast is a favourite north of Manchester...
  20. I went through a similar phase with Jet from Gladiators.
  21. Apparently Dr Karl Kennedy of Neighbours fame has quite a big lady-following... http://www.bbc.co.uk/leicester/content/articles/2007/11/27/waiting_room_dmu_review_feature.shtml
  22. And the sequel...Snakes Up A Tree. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7999909.stm
  23. Oh you know that film....Snakes...a Plane...you know the one. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8001644.stm
  24. Dont be silly. Boris would never put his good name to a hair-brained idea like that! ;-)
  25. Well if they think 26 is old, boy have they got a shock when they hit 30! ;-) Seriously though, even though she's the other side of 30 to me...I definitely would.
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