amydown

Just wondering if wise forumites can give me some advice. We signed up with an estate agent to sell our house recently. I'm not entirely satisfied and therefore want to change to a different agent. The contract we signed with the current agency has a minimum sole agency period of 12 weeks. However, Clause 1 of the contract states that "During the minimum period of the contract between us three weeks written notice may be given at any point". I therefore understood that to mean that within the 12 week minimum sole agency period, we can end it by giving 3 weeks notice. The agency is saying that you can only serve this 3 week notice once the minimum period has ended. Their argument is not consistent with the clause at all but they are not budging. They are saying that we are disputing the contract term but I don't think there is anything to dispute - am I being thick here somehow? Doesn't that sentence mean that we can serve notice DURING the minimum period?!? Thoughts and advice much appreciated.

How about looking at company-sponsored schemes if she has an idea of what career she might want to go into? For instance, our company has a school leaver programme whereby the company pays for univ fees as well as a salary. Obviously it's quite a big commitment but financially and job-prospects wise, it seems to make sense to many students. I think quite a few large organisations run similar schemes.

We have one bedroom and an en suite in our loft. We did have concerns about losing storage space but had storage cupboards built under the eaves (dead space) and it created a lot of storage without losing usable space in the bedroom. Also, when we emptied the loft, we realised how much crap we were holding onto unnecessarily!

devsdev Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 1. Would you recommend going through an agency or > advertising on the forum (we live in Honor Oak > Park) for a nanny? We found our wonderful nanny through the forum. I don't see much value in what an agency can offer in this market - lots of nannies looking for jobs privately so no shortage of candidates. It's easy to get paper works done (eg CRB checks) and I'm too much of a control freak to leave it to an agency! Plus they are very expensive of course. > 2. What are the key things you would recommend > looking for in a nanny in terms of personality, > experience, approach etc.? Experience is obviously important, circumstances if previous jobs ending, etc. Also chat about views on routine vs. baby-led, what sort of activities the nanny would plan to do, any relevant education or qualification, views on TV. > 3. What are the things I can ask her (or him) to > do apart from child care - would cooking for my LO > etc. be things I can ask about at least? I think this depends on pay and circumstances but all the nannies I know do the cooking for the kids, and our nanny also does the kids' laundry. Some nannies also have the kids bathed before mum and dad are home (I personally like bath time so not something we have talked about). Our nanny also dresses the kids in the morning. > 4. What is a reasonable salary for a live-out > nanny working about 11 hours a day (I think 8:30 > to 7:30 would be what we would like, though we'd > hopefully often be home sooner)? You can PM me on > this if you prefer! Will PM you. > 5. Apart from following up on references, do you > also expect other qualifications? Depends what you want. I think a lot of nannies have relevant NVQs etc. Our nanny is Montessori qualified for instance. > > 6. Is there a website/service where you can get > contracts, information on the legal obligations > and statutory requirements etc. if we didn't go > through an agency? Simply childcare was really helpful when we were setting up a contract etc. we use Nanny PAYE for payroll and tax and they are always really helpful in giving you advice on legal matters. > 7. Anything else that I've not thought about at > all?! > > Any advice, thoughts, experiences etc. are very > gratefully received. > > thank you! > Dev

We had a terrible time in the rainforest cafe. Bad service and awful food (really truly awful microwave stuff). When you pay over ?15 for a burger, the food has to be ok-ish at least, right? Not the case! Also, we went a Monday lunchtime and the toilet was really dirty. The baby changing area had a couple of overflowing nappy bins..... There is definitely a bit of a novelty factor so as a one-off, it might be fun though. Just manage expectations on food and service front! How about an afternoon tea somewhere in town? (langham very nice, Hyatt very child friendly)

A nanny share might be a good option indeed. Will try and respond to your questions later when not on the phone.

That sounds really horrid Norfolkvillas. My 3.5 yr old toddler was a terrible sleeper for a long time (as you know Indiana!) and I truly sympathise. He had got really good before his baby brother arrived and then when the little one was around 3-4 months, his sleep regressed big time. I fought it for a while and then just let him come to our bed at night whenever he woke up. Having said that, I secretly enjoy my cuddles with him so I can't moan! We have started the sticker chart again at my husband's insistence and it is working so far. 5 stickers and he gets a BIG BIG toy (well, max budget of ?10). Hope it gets better for you soon.

Prolly D, thank you for posting the link to that article. As it happens, I had just bought a suitcase online as I'm expecting a few trips out of town over the next few weeks! Last week, I went on an overnight trip out of town and at around 7pm, I was on Skype at Paddingtom station, saying good night to my boys. My younger one, at only 15m, kept trying to kiss the phone and I got so upset. Next Friday, on my non-working day, I'm going to be out of town again. Childcare was difficult to arrangement, has now been sorted but oh boy. The stress of it all. 80% of the time, I think and feel that it's working for us but sometimes, like the Skype moment, I really do feel like giving it all up. I have a wonderfully supportive husband and excellent and flexible childcare in place so it's a case of getting over the emotional guilt.... (Not having any momey left after childcare and travel costs, etc doesn help). It's too damn complicated......

Hi Piaf, Would you be able to claim at least part of the childcare costs as tax deductible expenses? I'm not sure what the rules are and whether HMRC have a view on this but without childcare, you can't work (and generate revenue), so it seems non-sensical not to get any tax deductions through your business? Piaf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Another thing that frustrates me as self employed > (as is husband) is the discrimination in child > care costs ie you can only utilise childcare > vouchers if employed ... For someone in WM > position as sole earner but needing child care, it > seems unfair that she (or indeed,I) cannot enjoy > te tax break that would help ease nanny > childminder nursery costs

midivydale Wrote: > > This morning, my son tried to hide my shoes so > that I couldnt go to work and it breaks my heart. > Oh, Midivydale, that makes me all teary!

Workingmumm and Piaf, it's interesting to hear your stories and how you seem to be juggling it all. I guess I hadn't really considered the pros and cons of being self employed. Etta166, I know what you mean about the feelings of "anger" sometimes. We have been brought up to think men and women are equal, but when the majority of childcare responsibility falls onto women still(whether that's organising childcare and taking primary responsibility for nursery pick-up,etc or actually staying at home), it's hard to see how we can continue our career progression at the same speed as child-less women or men. I'm trying to see why a company would be interested in "making it work" for working mums. There is the bigger piece around women needing to have babies for the society to continue, but other than the social responsibility aspect, what is the real benefit for companies to have us working mums doing part-time/ sensible hours when they have a long queue of capable and willing counterparts? After all, no one is irreplaceable in the corporate world, no matter how senior you are!

It's really interesting to hear everyone's stories. The key theme coming out, not surprisingly, is that it's incredibly tough! We seem to be falling into two camps broadly - ones that saw their priorities change after having kids and ones that still have career ambitions after kids. Apart from being relatively flexible with your working hours, have you seen any schemes or tangible policies that your employers have or you wish to see that could make your life that bit easier? For instance, my company pays a contribution towards childcare costs if I have to work on my non-working day and I can have my nanny registered for that childcare so that my kids are not just left with a stranger they don't know as "emergency chilcare".

Canela, I sympathise with you. The bit about breakfast and bedtime thing and wishing them to fall asleep quickly so that you can log back on for more work (as I have done this morning! Now work finished and I can be EDF'ing :). I find it tough and that's with a very flexible and quality childcare, supportive husband and supportive work. It is financially non-sensible and when things are working "well", I feel it's ok. The minute I get a bit of stress at work, my default position is "what am I doing this for!?!?" It's part financial (nothing left after paying for childcare!) and part emotional (no time to relax, too stressed all the time and worried about work), having to micro-manage my life to the nth degree is rather stressful. Having said all that, oimissus, like you, I'm not a natural SAHM. I'm pretty domestically challenged in all aspects actually.....

There is a similar debate on the childcare thread and I wondered how everyone is finding it really. I work for a professional services firm, and have been back at work for about 8 months now after No. 2. The company I work for is really trying to get diversity/ gender balance right and I wanted to get the forumites' thoughts on how you find it, if you tried it and gave up, what was the deciding factor and what could your employer have done differently (within reason!) that would have helped you continue with your career? Also an opportunity to moan and share!

Don't have one to lend I'm afraid but if you have an iPhone, there is a good baby monitor app? We use it a lot when we go away and it's rather handy.

I think it would have positives and negatives (sitting on the fence?!) Financially, if I'm not mistaken, it can work out cheaper than a sole charge arrangement as you are effectively doing a share but I think in most cases, it's more expensive than doing a nanny share with another family as you have the convenience of no drop-off,pick-up and not having to juggle three parties for holidays. Logistically slightly easier than a share. If I was considering such arrangements, I would have to know the nanny pretty well. As a mum, I think it would be really difficult to put someone else's needs above your own baby's needs. If the nanny's baby and your baby are similar in age, I would have thought this becomes more of an issue than an arrangement with a bigger age gap. I'm sure most of the time when things are going well, it's not really a problem if the nanny is professional and good anyway but as these things go, conflicts can arise (eg. One baby in routine, the other one not, toddler behaviours, etc etc.) Personally, I think the arrangement would work better if there is a fairly big age gap as the kids' needs are different and conflicts arising from young babies needing constant attention/ toddler behaviours requiring intervention should be less of a problem. Perhaps one child in nursery/ school for most of the day and the other one a baby? I think it would also be helpful to have financial matters really clearly set out right from the beginning, including how cost of food, kitty money and other sundry expense will be split between the nanny and the family. I should add that I have no first hand experience of such arrangements so I'm sure others will be ale to draw directly from their own experiences.

That's great, will contact them. Thank you!

Is there a charity for mums and babies specifically? We have a M&P Pilko Pramette travel system, plus car seat and isofix. All in excellent condition,the pram barely used, rain over and foot muff, parasol brand new etc. Had it listed here for sale but only had lower than anticipated offers so I would rather give them to a charity. Any ideas?

Baby Bjorn all the way. Had a few and this was the best. We also had a cheap-ish M&P travel vibrating seat which was so light and easy to carry that I used to take it from room to room. Handy if you ar showering and need baby in the bathroom facing you, etc etc. I would recommend getting the Bjorn chair second hand. The fabric is machine washable so once you give it a wash, it would be as good as new.

I disagree. When you are in a position of responsibility, your profession DOES matter. Plenty of people (in private and public sectors) have been "outed" and held responsible for their comments and views shared hiding behind anonymous on-line identities. With your clearly anti-middle class views, I wouldn't want you to teach my children and for that reason, you should think twice about what you are saying. The views and attitudes of a teacher can have a lot of influence on kids in my opinion. LocalTeacher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Who i am is unimportant ,what i have to say is the > issue > my views are my own and nothing to do with anyone > that employs me > Bishop accused me of being a troll , i find this > unsubtle remark insulting > i do not go on other peoples threads pedantically > commenting on their grammar and punctuation or > outing them , > like many of the borum users (see above) > i do not go on this forum to upset people but to > educate and inform them of the view of someone who > works in a school > i teach children of all classes nitted and nit > free and treat them all with the upmost respect > and always have done > my comments were not directed at any specific > individual person, and certainly not at a specific > child > i was simply pointing out that there are headlice > around at the moment > paticularly prevalent in middle class families > with children with long hair > if your child has long hair and you check for nits > well done > if you dont check maybe you should > > if you are offended by my comments ask the admin > to delete this post > or look away

We recently discovered a soft play cafe in Balham called Bertie and Boo. 3-yr old boy loved it - has a pirate ship. I heard it can be very busy but first thing in the morning is quiet. You could then have lunch somewhere in Balham? Also, how about Docklands Museum? Has a lovely soft play area too. I know you said no museums but we were there last Sunday (rainy) and it wasn't too busy at all.

Have heard good things about mini city jogger too. Re: comments about P&T Sport, I didn't get on with it for similar reasons. Also, I'm quite small and found it impossible to get it onto pavements, etc. The Promenade must have come out to address these issues as the handle can be extended really far - looks a bit ridiculous actually! But, this means that you are not kicking the bottom seat and it's easier to get it onto pavements. Both seats reclining fully is a BIG plus. One minor point is that it's a bit fiddly to get baby/ toddler in and out of back seat but we got the hang of it. With toddler now 3 and baby 1, we are thinking of keeping it still for a while as we still seem to use it frequently. Some on-line retailers seem to be doing a good package deal so I would really recommend it. We got ours from Peppermint in Clapham and they did an on-line price match.

Oh dear. Would you be happy to post these kinds of statements under your real name? Do you think your anti middle-class (or any sections of the society for that matter) attitude would be acceptable to/ tolerated by the parents, pupils and colleagues at your school? I dare you to share your thoughts with them in person. I really hope you are not a teacher. LocalTeacher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > In my experience parents from poorer families make > sure that their children are clean and well > presented > Some families paticularly well off ones prefer to > let their children grow wild > I know nits like clean hair bellenden belle > (especially long hair) > they dont like being washed in nit repellent > shampoo tho

If you drive, there is a great softplay cafe in Balham. We recently discovered it - has a pirate ship and was great. Google for Bertie and Boo soft play. The ply downside was the extortionate cost of food in there. Seem to recall a tiny (kiddie size) cupcake costing something like ?3!

Another vote for wrap sling + soft carrier combo. I LOVED my wrap sling for the first 4/5m. It's so cuddly and comfy (for me and baby).