SE22mum

this dressing for your age thing is really difficult. I keep buying shirts and tops in the smart/casual range to wear with jeans - but then hubby says I am starting to dress like a middle aged lady. Ignoring the obvious point that I am indeed a middle aged lady and in a previous age would be nicely contained in a pinafore and curlers by now - what can I wear that is "flattering" to my no-longer-young belly (ah Pickle how I envy you!) and yet young enough to keep hubby happy. have no desire to look like either an M&S Per Una advert or as mutton dressed as lamb! any suggestions for places to look for these magical clothes???

anywhere between ?45 and ?60 per day including food, or ?7-8 an hour. for before and after school care only you might also be able to find an au pair who is interested.

This Saturday 11:00 - 5:00 at Annerley Town Hall there is a public consultation about the future development plans for Crystal Palace Park. http://www.cpcdt.org.uk A chance to have your say about the dinosaurs, park infrastructure, housing development and possible Chinese investment. Just flagging it up in the Family Room as I know some of you are regular Crystal Palace Park users.

This Saturday 11:00 - 5:00 at Annerley Town Hall there is a public consultation about the future development plans for Crystal Palace Park. http://www.cpcdt.org.uk A chance to have your say about the dinosaurs, park infrastructure and possible Chinese investment.

both of mine went through this. it's a bit distressing but probably will be over quicker if you ignore it

Suzyrocker, I got to the end of your interesting and thoughtful post! Your approach sounds very supportive, and I also wish it was available on the NHS. I suppose one of your challenges must be around helping women to think about their expectations and their plans. I know my sister had hypnobirthing and she was convinced it was a "magic wand" - and unfortunately I think the practitioner encouraged this. Then on the day she couldn't remember any of the exercises and freaked out.

I think the very term "dream birth" is almost setting yourself up to fail. Actually, I think preparing positively for birth INCLUDES considering your expectations and not forcing yourself to "achieve" anything. I think it includes realising that your birth might not go as you expect it, and that that is ok. That although you can do loads to prepare yourself, there are other forces at work, and the best laid plans etc. My midwife had a very useful phrase, which was "you will have the birth that you will have". Or as a friend said "it will come out somehow...". ....which is what I tried to bear in mind when I was packing my bag to go to the hospital and be induced for my 2nd - despite having already shelled out a hefty sum for a home birth!!! Luckily for me, my daughter rose to the occasion and just popped out in time...literally a few hours before I had to go. I have several friends who did hypnobirthing etc and when they didn't have the birth they thought they were guaranteed to have it really hit them hard. Suppose it's some kind of zen balance thing of preparing for a really good experience, and yet not blaming yourself if you don't have what you thought you were going to get! Plus, I think there is something about "positive" doesn't mean "easy"...

IMHO if you move into a "nice" area then the primary schools tend to be all pretty good. I would be happy with my child going to any school in ED, Herne Hill etc to be honest.

Mucky, think it depends on who answers the phone. the woman I spoke to at Southwark about in-year admissions told me to list 16 schools!

ooooh, wish I could come as this is close to my heart and experience! My first birth was positive in that it completely exceeded my expectations and I felt very proud of myself. Yet very soon into my second pregnancy I realised that my expectations and belief in myself had widened so much that I really couldn't just repeat what I did first time around, which was a hospital birth with quite a lot of intervention (induction, forceps). I also felt really nervous that in hospital I would ONLY be able to have a birth with some kind of intervention as I'm pretty non-confrontational and the idea of having to communicate with medical staff whilst in labor is just something I cannot get. SO, decided to blow my savings on a home birth (not in UK so not available on NHS).....on the basis that I wasn't planning on having anymore children and that this was something I would remember for ever. Needless to say it was - especially as my midwife didn't get there in time and so in the end I birthed my baby with just my partner there. As a life-affirming, positive experience it was second-to-none. Tho, if I EVER did it again the next thing is to do it completely alone. Just you and your baby. (but not going to happen - two is quite enough!)

Yes, that's what one would assume and hope would be the case! But talking to teacher friends of mine it seems that some schools and Heads are under pressure to make sure their attendance records do not slip and so have to be very strict in what qualifies as "extraordinary". But what they can do sometimes is not give permission but then not do anything when you do take your child out of school anyway. I agree that a higher level of discretion would be best...

Such good news and a really lovely idea to celebrate! Whilst on a personal level the Head may well agree with you s/he is constrained by the rules. It also depends on the absence figures for the school in general. You might just get a letter back saying the absence is not authorised but that they have noted it, ie they will not expect your child to be there on those days.

funny and worth a read. one woman's account of the first hour of breastfeeding.....and tips on how NOT to do it. http://evidencebasedtitsandteeth.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/the-power-of-the-first-hour-inspiring-or-terrifying-2/

I can't make it tonight, but would be really interested in coming another time. Please keep us all informed!

Done it! It's two hours of utter chaos and manic energy but is a lot of fun. Mind you, mine is of the boisterous variety. Musical bumps, musical statues, musical chairs, chocolate game etc all great. plus dancing. remember that even though they are 7 there may be tears around being "out" so lots of prizes for everyone is a must. Don't plan games for the whole session as they get tired and will start to drop out. Leave some time for just hanging out.

unless I am out-of-touch, about ?7 or ?8 is normal for childminder rates in East Dulwich - when used as separate hours rather than whole day. Would love to know where I could pay ?5 for the odd hour!

ludo is always a hit.

I think the issue is that some mothers are made to feel by people around them that their child is not doing things right and worry that they might be to blame in some way. remember lots of mothers are very vulnerable.

oh, i find it does mean something though. i?ve had my share of economic worries and sleepless nights over bills, badly paid jobs, mouths to feed etc. i find a bit of perspective lightens my load and lets me count my blessings.

Totally agree Monkey. I mean, it's not as if we put in on our CV or something - "first step, 12 months, first word, 18 months...."

we are all connected in this global economy, so I think it is useful to remember how rich we are compared to most of the world! yes, it's frustrating trying to get a mortgage and life in London can be a drudge....but surely we can still show some humanity to those who are suffering far worse problems! some perspective please!

Thank you for all your responses. I agree, Mellors, prevention is better than cure and winter does make it more difficult as we can all feel a bit cooped up. I suppose I am pretty sure really that what we have in our house is within the limits of "normal" but I will look at my parenting strategies to see how I can deal with it better. To be honest, I think the main problem is me, in that I find the bickering makes me lose the plot and I overact and make the situation worse than it has to be. I think I have a very hot temper which I have learnt to control over the years (my mum tells how I used to hold my breath until I fainted in order to get my own way...) but sometimes the control buckles. These last few days I have been practising just taking a breath before I respond automatically, and also making sure I give each child some proper individual attention after school. any other parenting strategies gratefully received!

they do come in other colours too. perhaps if you went to the website and ordered directly? i agree, there are no other scooters which are as easy for little kids.

why not take him to the aquarium at the Horniman to see if he is really interested?

ok, it seems I can set my mind at rest that we are within the definition of a "normal" family! I think this will help a lot to be honest, as I know I get too upset by it and over-react....thereby not setting a good example at all. hmmm, wonder where they get all the dramatics from?