bluesuperted

Fantastic post EdTutor. My husband is a teacher, he is fiercely intelligent, compassionate (he has to be involved in many more aspects of his class' life than just reading, writing etc, some of his kids live in a state of squalor and uncertainty, and on our doorstep) and dedicated to helping young people in the best and most creative ways he can. He is also graceful in the face of friends who think his job is easy and 9-4pm. He leaves the house usually before 7am and gets home at 6, frequently with marking to do into the evening and always works at weekends. He is super efficient in managing his workload yet still spent half term writing reports; there really is that much work. He earns every second of his summer holiday and way more than his modest pay packet. I'm in full support of the teachers in standing up for their amazing and VITAL profession. It's not just about pensions, it's about passion for education and valuing those who have the vocation to provide it.

I recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block technique - google Harvey Karp on YouTube - there is an old clip of him on Richard and Judy. The book is called Baby Bliss over here, has a lovely premise about the fourth trimester and is great for soothing tiny babies. It's all about swaddling, shushing, rocking and recreating the comforts of the womb. Our baby loved it and hardly cried after having 2/3 days of colic at 3 weeks old.

Hi Bobby's Bear, I always loved Davina's DVDs - really good, tiring workouts. Or alternatively chasing after extremely mobile 10 month old - leaves no time for DVDs but burns off plenty of calories :)

Just remembered, I played my iPod into my pants for days... And did all the things on the spinning babies website... Nothing I did could make him engage though. I bounced for England...

I was definitely told the Muslim prayer position - bum higher than head - to prevent threat of cord prolapse and stay there til midwives arrived. I had visions of this happening in a crowded ED shop like Celestial whilst wearing a sundress and it all being a bit embarrassing!!

Oh I can imagine childcare issues - so different with number two I bet. Also wondering if they wouldn't be so reactionary with a second baby - think a lot of the response I had was due to him being my first. Fingers crossed for you and hope your arrangements get sorted.

Our cleaner is female but we had a male one once... And in our case (but granted it's unusual) my husband definitely takes charge of supervising her work (see earlier post re: his OCD cleaning tendencies...)!

Also, an ECV wasn't mentioned to me regarding him being transverse, only when they thought he was breech... Don't know if they do it - maybe someone else knows?

I was admitted at 38 weeks when my baby was temporarily transverse. He changed back to head down on the first day in hospital but they kept me in for 3 nights as I was so far gone. And if he hadn't changed back then they were talking about me having to stay in til 39 weeks and have a section... When I was discharged I was told that if my waters broke I had to get into the Muslim prayer position and call my midwives straight away. In the end he turned up 17 (42+3) days late after a failed induction and EMCS! All worth it though! Hope bubs gets into a good position asap! x

In the light of all this talk of domestic equality, can we please change the thread title to 'families with cleaners' then?? I am very very lucky to have an extremely domesticated and tidy (verging on OCD) husband. His mum often regales us with stories of him with a duster as soon as he could walk... Little bit frightening but I don't doubt it's true and it obviously worked on some level!

It also depends on your baby/child and their age/napping ability; my baby won't nap on his own for more than 10 minutes so during his naps in the sling I do general tidying where possible, sometimes (safe) cooking, and other times we nap together in bed and I rest, read, study or do freelance work. I'm not prepared to sling him on my back just to clean the toilet out! Sounds exhausting and boring all round.

Also thought Dudley's post was excellent. Totally agree re: respective respect/lack of respect in the public/private spheres with regards to raising children.

I agree with others: we budget fairly strictly (in general) on one salary so we can afford a ?25 cleaner once a fortnight (and we have an arrangement where we cancel her in school holidays) and I think it's irrelevant as to whether we are SAHM, part-time working, full-time working - we're still busy pretty much 100% of the time as mums and dirt is not an exclusively female responsibility!? I don't feel in the slightest bit guilty, it's just one of our budgeting decisions that aids the way we are able to spend time as a family, both in the week with me staying at home and at the weekend when we can all do nice things together to enjoy our time off rather than scrubbing loos. The others include buying a much cheaper house on a council estate, shopping at Asda not the East Dulwich Deli, selling on things we don't need any more, buying secondhand where we can, packing lunches for husband (teacher), having cheap meals at home where we can AND balancing this with an occasional holiday or takeaway etc.?

Don't know how old baby is but I know someone for whom lightness was a real concern as she is spending three months in Italy. She tried several and went for this one: http://www.lovetobenatural.co.uk/tuli-baby-carrier-cheeky-owls-p-492.html It looks very lightweight but still structured. I have been out and about on some hot days so far this year and my Beco Gemini hasn't caused me to overheat, you just dress both you and baby in less!

There's definitely a House of Fraser and a Debs. The H o F used to be called Jolly's, pretty sure it still is. The other place is the Pump Rooms (haha only just realised irony before clicking post!!) - major tourist attraction so they should have a baby change room you could hide out in for 15 mins. Sure we've all spent longer than a quick pumping session cleaning up a massive poo, so don't feel bad! Wave hello to the West Country from me! xx

Wow Saffron that looks lovely! We went to Sri Lanka in 2000, when we were babies of 19 and 20! Beautiful place. I totally recommend Bali/Lombok if you haven't been. We went just before trying for a baby in 2009 and had the best time but Bali especially would be lovely with a little one too. Amazing hotels we stayed in were: Uma Sapna (Seminyak, Bali) Luce D'alma (Gili islands) and Imaj villas (Lombok). Have a fantastic time if you go! This has reminded me to do a post about our totally naughty holiday to San Francisco this summer (naughty as in can't really afford it but are going it before baby costs even more to travel with!).

Definitely?a very interesting thread and nice to see others in similar boat.?Sophie you start some good'uns! I was reading a bit of Affluenza (Oliver James) this weekend (interesting enough book, I like the central anti-consumerist premise but it can be a bit clunky) and he makes a lot of the point that being a SAHM doesn't command respect in society.?What was really interesting is he talks about how many women claim they are going back to work to do 'something for them' when many (not all) freely admit they'd rather be caring for their children. He questions why earning money for a corporation, even when many consider that their jobs aren't that enjoyable, is much more seen?as doing 'something for yourself' than raising a family and staying at home while your babies are small. I know for me, I'm doing something for my son AND also something for me by staying home: this is what I want actually and not a penalty! Definitely hardest but best joh in my experience so far. I'm sure he'd still thrive with good alternative care but a) I'm a control freak and want to do it myself, my way at the moment and b) I can't bear to leave him and that's the bottom line for me at the moment!

I've thought of it too - SLT childminder hybrid anyone? ;) Belle - will defo send you a detailed message when on the laptop next! x

Belle - can tell you all about the postgraduate course and the career in general. Am passionate about it: it's AMAZING! Second best thing I ever did ;) (oops, third, forgot about husband).

That is exactly how I see it Belle - a longer maternity leave than our society normally allows. Of course I too will go back to work - probably for 30 years more even if I were to take 10 years out with the way pensions/the workforce are going! I used to work in advertising and I would definitely have struggled to go back to that in any shape or form (for reasons of pressure and motivation as it wasn't the career for me long term) unless I had planned on getting pregnant sharpish - think the monetary considerations of company mat leave/SMP cause many to jump back in 'until the next baby'. I also think I'm very lucky in that the job I have just retrained to do is very family friendly, female dominated and the kind of sector where having taken extended stay at home mum leave wouldn't be an issue in securing a future job. I know lots of careers and jobs don't work like that and it must be very difficult to have to make an all or nothing decision about a job you love, or even rather like. For me, I'm don't have to say goodbye to being a speech therapist, just a 'see you later and look forward to doing a brief refresher course'. Like many (all!) aspects of parenting, it's so individual and unclearcut!

Hey Sophie, as you know, that's currently my plan too, something I didn't think I'd want to do in a million years (my mum worked full-time and I saw nothing wrong with that...). It's weird how a little person can change every part of your being. I am becoming more and more certain I'm making the right decision for OUR family (no judgement at all on other set-ups, am just going with my gut personally) despite similarly resigning myself to three people living off one (fairly newly qualified, albeit s@#t hot, hehe) teacher's salary in London and I'm turning down my dream job despite it being part time... But I agree, I don't know many others. And even though as I say I'm confident I'm making a good decision, I find myself justifying it to myself and others - "oh I will do some freelance work... And a masters... I won't 'just' be a stay at home mum..." which is ridiculous 'cos I know this is the most amazing but hardest job I've ever done, no 'just' about it! Anyway, I'm late night rambling and you know my story anyway! But I'm very interested in following this thread! x

On a lighter note, what is a jam kettle WoD?

I didn't use a specific pillow post EMCS but I really recommend mastering lying down feeding as soon as you can: doing it now 9 months on and it's so easy/lazy!

We didn't get on with infacol or infant Gaviscon but I know some babies respond well to it. We ruled out reflux as it wasn't making him terribly unhappy - just vomit, then fine again. In fact I remember us faffing around with infant Gaviscon sachets and then him routinely chucking those up too! But probably worth exploring in case it is reflux.

I knew it included Ergo baby carrier so found it by searching Ergo!! http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,639658,page=1 Hope it's useful!