bluesuperted

Sorry to hear you are in so much pain :( I don't have a personal recommendation but have noticed the same couple of names coming up on here. This thread mentions at least two of those names (Verona Hall and Katie Fisher). http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,691449,692042#msg-692042 Has your baby been checked for tongue tie? Again, no personal experience but I have loads of friends whose babies had this issue and needed it correcting before bfing was comfortable. There is another really useful thread by Knomester which is worth a read re: struggles and pitfalls of the early weeks breastfeeding: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,570543,580290#msg-580290 Sure lots of forumites will have other lactation consultant thoughts and recommendations too. Hope this is of some help and you are ok - it does get easier I promise!! X

Yes, v sorry to hear about nasty PMs, completely unnecessary (and more than a little cowardly). x

Hey Ruth, I think you've made your mind up and should go with your instinct (sorry Mr B!) on this one - perfectly balancing the needs of two littlies all day everyday is impossible and if the creche is that lovely then Seb is likely to get loads out of it. I often think about how tricky it must be to balance the needs of two under two, on your own, and it makes me remember to leave the gap a little longer before popping out another one, haha! However, I would say that I don't think that Seb needs to go to nursery for language reasons and to learn language specifically from his peers - research shows that actually it's the primary caregiver (you!) who they learn the most from - hence why later siblings and twins usually have slower language development - they end up getting a lot of their language input from a slightly less perfect model than just their mother! Which of course is normal and not a problem at all, but just didn't want you to think your home environment isn't a lovely and rich language learning one! And hence why Seb's language is actually all there, bursting to come to the surface! But I digress, Magic Moments sounds very nurturing and hopefully Seb will love it and you can have a few mini babymoons with lovely little Lex each week which will do you both the world of good. xx

There is always Seldoc if you can't get seen at your surgery - if you call after 6pm you can often get a baby appointment pretty instantly and we've taken our boy a few times when we've suspected an ear infection at an out of hours time. Hope he gets better soon x

I haven't read it yet but I understand that the new Naomi Stadlen book (How mothers love, sophiechristophy put up a link) has a section on new siblings. I love her stuff so I definitely want to read it.

I don't have any great advice but my LO did this at the beginning of feeds rather than at the end at around 8 months if memory serves me correctly (with at least 8 teeth at that point). Anyway it stopped ad quickly as it started (one week-ish, not every feed) so hopefully he will too? I'm still breastfeeding at 13 months and despite 16+ teeth now I never get bitten. I realise this isn't massively helpful but hopefully it's anecdotally reassuring? x

Pickle, that's exactly what I wanted to say: I remember telling someone, adamantly whilst pregnant, that I would still be thinking about me, talking about me, not 'just' a mum. But when the baby comes... Well, nothing can prepare you, and now I know I'm a woman made of many parts... But being a mother now factors and filters through all of them. And I'm not ashamed of it! It doesn't mean I only talk poo, but on some deep level, I changed and my identity changed, never to return to being just 'me' again. And now off to bed, hopefully not to be woken every hour like last night :S

You should be able to get an NHS referral for stammer as it's supposed to be dealt with very swiftly (drop in centre a good idea if no luck with GP - make a fuss!). If you can get yourself in the NHS system as soon as possible and see an SLT, they will assess you and hopefully refer you to a stammering specialist or tertiary provider (as stammering is a pretty specialist area). If you go the independent therapist route I'd definitely make sure the therapist has a lot of experience and ask them which methods they use, there are several key stammering programmes. Hope this helps.

Also went to Peckham soft play last week and despite misgivings as had heard it was grubby, we both really enjoyed it. Under 3s bit is fun and ball pit was a big hit with my 1 year old.

Ooh bookclub! Will definitely join in once I've finished it. Also on my bedside table: Simplicity Parenting and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves... Would love to discuss once I've read them as well!

Boob! How could I have forgotten that! Most helpful device I had. If in doubt, boob to the rescue! I never usually cover up much but was advised to take something in case next to old man or something as in such close proximity so I made sure I had a large shawl. As it happened was next to a lovely girl about my age so was pretty brazen and blas? about it. Don't think anyone else would have noticed though, just thought we were cuddling.

We just travelled to San Francisco with our one year old. Yup, that's 11 hours! On the way there he hardly slept (2 hours out of 11) and this is what we did to keep him occupied: - walked him up and down and up and down, not sure how this would work with a crawler though. - utilised the space by the loos - let him walk there, your little one could crawl. - made a LOT of friends! Anyone willing to be friends with him got many repeat visits! As a result I know a lot about various silicon valley companies, local areas, the difference between the UK and the US work ethic! In other words lots of small talk with friendly Americans passed a lot of time! - had lots of toys too, some held interest for a bit, books were useful. - monotous games - surprising hit was pouring a tiny bit of water from his beaker into a plastic cup and letting him drink it himself, this lasted ages for some reason. - Ergo - with that plus plane noise he slept for a bit and stayed calm. - watched films - maybe it was his training at the Peckham Plex but we watched almost an entire film together (him in silence!!) and eventually that lulled him to sleep the first time. - games on the iPhone were also handy - duck duck moose games (especially the itsy bitsy spider and baa baa black sheep are great as they are really interactive. Looking through photos and videos of himself is always a big hit! Are you coming back on a night flight? We were lucky enough to blag an extra seat and that combined with the darkness made our son sleep for 5.5 hours coming back which was amazing!! Good luck with it all, it will be tiring but fine :)

Boots on Rye Lane I think?

I'm definitely interested as well, thank you for resurrecting too Yak.

This thread HelenGV? http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,292412,page=1 Btw were you in Dulwich Park this afternoon? Someone with a Phil and Teds who looked like you was there but I couldn't be sure!

Hi, apologies for the late reply! Sounds Perfect, will pop along on thursday, I'll keep my eye on the thread you mentioned...

I'm listening to this on audible (slowly, which kind of proves I need to be more mindful and focus more!) and it's lovely. Thanks for reminding me to find the time to finish it, I made notes and there were so many pertinent points in the short part I listened to. x

Second the Frick collection, really lovely and not too overwhelming, danger of Florence syndrome with big NYC museum/galleries - too much amazing stuff to take in. Frick is just right :)

Would just like to point out my their/there error above as am not going to edit that post but realise I committed a heinous grammatical crime, argh!

Not attacking, not suggesting you leave (that would be absurd, it's a public forum!). Just suggesting something else you might like if you want to have more controversial debates.

The Family Room, in my opinion is all about support and supportive debate. It's not the Oxford Union or Newsnight and for good reason - in most cases people are discussing personal topics that resonate with themselves and their family. As such I agree with Moos' 'unwritten' rule of not being too heavy-handed but obviously being free to offer opinions kindly, and think most people do a great job of this. Can I suggest you have a look at the WYOO board on babycentre.co.uk? Lots of very controversial debates and subjects on their connected to parenting, the universe and everything, you might enjoy it more!!

Anna - have a look at Flipkey - we rented through them in California and it was ace, not all properties would be as baby-friendly but we lucked out with fab owner who provided all we needed. We were out of the city of course but it was so reasonable ?40 a night for a lovely, cosy one-bed apartment. Bet there are loads in Manhattan. Xx

Great point about sling giving lots of extra warmth - amazing how hot you both can end up feeling in winter! Also, Belle's point about knitted things made me think how fab hand-knitted cardis are - I'm lucky as my mum has been knitting enough to cover a football pitch since my baby was born but if you can get your hands on one (Pickle on here?) then they are amazingly versatile, comfy and if in a knit style like cable (classic wiggly line) them they really are very breathable. Plus they stretch and last ages and ages - still have my strapping one year old in a lovely stretchy oatmeal that I'm pretty sure is no bigger than a 3months pattern!

Great post SW. I was going to write the same re hormones but you've summed it up perfectly. One thing that irks me, is that many modern parenting gurus/maternity nurse types/ by the book (which book??) HVs do not classify 'comfort' or 'cuddle just for cuddle's sake' as a valid need for a baby. It is a need, and when they are teeny tiny (4 months is very young in my mind) that need is hugely important. In my mind it's still important at one year and beyond; my little one wanted to sleep on my head the night before last, have constant cuddles and be carried most of the day yesterday. I obliged (and it was lovely!) and at around 6pm he got a temperature. He wanted comforting because he was fighting off something. Horses for courses but I can't imagine not responding to needs like this. Also, if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn't want someone else to take charge of my baby so wholly in the first few days and weeks of life (looking at this from perspective of just having one child btw, can't comment on your situation Ruth and think Doula sounds like great idea to allow time to reconnect with S). Those days are hard, overwhelming, emotional. But I wouldn't swap them or be able to stand the feeling that there were large amounts of time I couldn't account for.

I agree, was much more scared of overheating my baby last winter - feel like they would definitely let you know if too cold but it's not so easy if they have overheated into a stupor! When it was really cold though, Jojo Maman snowsuits are fantastic - so cosy and easy to get on/off. Will definitely be buying the biggest size this year for my toddler. Like everything it depends on the baby - my little boy is a hot head/body baby and often parades round in just a nappy but feels toasty. I hardly ever put him in a sleeveless vest under his actual vest if you see what I mean, even in deepest winter. Good luck!