bluesuperted

I part time cloth nappy and love BG v4, hardly ever experience leaks unless I leave them on too long (3+ hours). I use the popper ones and they are snug fit on the loosest setting for my 21 month old but not crazy tight. Have you tried boosting with microfibre inserts? And also do you wash them with anything like detergent or napisan which can damage absorbency? I use bambino mio nappy santiser which seems really gentle plus I do an extra rinse cycle. Sure others will have more ideas!

Jonno's comment has summed up for me what I worry about, the other side of the coin for those of us with sons. My little boy could never be described as feral but he has boundless energy and does not like sitting still (at 21 months I don't expect him to!). However I think while with girls the pinkification and lack of female leads in stories etc is a big worry, the worry for boys is that society views their ebullience with disdain from a young age rather than letting them be until they are old enough to calm down a little. I think there are lots of disparaging comments made about boys even before birth that you don't hear about girls - oh you're overdue, you must have a lazy boy, oh you're having a boy, he's going to cause you trouble and be a massive handful, a second boy? Oh you must have been hoping for a girl, will you try again? Or after, what a greedy little boy (re feeding, have never heard the same said about newborn girls), it's kind of sad that we start with the negativities of boydom so soon. There's a great book called Raising Cain written by two male psychiatrists who explain how boys are treated emotionally very differently to girls, basically told to man up from an early age and not given the same level of emotional guidance and therefore literacy that girls are. Really recommend the book, it really makes you think about society's prejudices towards males and consequently why boys/men are far more likely to fail/get into trouble at school and in life than girls - as a bit of a feminist not something I'd given much though to pre-children! Slightly off topic but something I think about and notice a lot now I have a son, the other thing being that parents of quiet, 'typical' little girls often don't understand the very different needs and nature of toddler and preschooler boys. I know nothing about looking after little girls and defer to parents who do, but sometimes, if in receipt of a withering glance from a parent with an exceptionally still daughter in a music group or whatever, I do feel like saying, do you also have a son, because if not, do not judge!! Personally I adore having a boy and would happily have four! My son is a Duracell bunny of energy but he is also loving, kind and sweet-natured. Just because he won't yet sit and follow instructions for a whole nursery rhyme does not make him troublesome or feral, just made a little differently.

Poor you Molly, that's awful! Sympathy and will keep my eye out as had been potentially interested in a secondhand one although have since changed my mind and am going to go for a new one I think.

I definitely shopped at Topshop from 13 - and had a job (babysitting til I was 14, then proper retail Saturday jobs) so was spending my own money. Anything aimed at 15 will attract younger teens, and lots of inappropriate things in all clothes shops - Primark for example, which is officially suitable for babies onwards so I don't think official guidelines need to be taken too seriously. I'm far too old for Topshop now at 31 ;) and plus I popped into the Strand branch and was horrified by the price of ?28 for essentially a crop top. But if I was 14 I'm sure I would love it (and not come home in bondage gear and stilettos!!).

I really wish schools had the flexibility to be more case by case on this issue; I know lots of SAHMs who feel it is a big jump to go from 100% at home to 5 half days and I would be interested in a sharing approach with another child. It would also make a lot of sense as places at schools are in so much demand, that where people have reason to think a reduced amount of hours would suit them better they could be accommodated. As it stands when the time comes I think I will play it by ear and take my son out for any sessions I felt were too much to begin with, even it that meant one session lost a week; after all education is not compulsory at this age, not ideal for the school but maybe a compromise for school and child in the early months - better that than a child who was not settling and would benefit from a more gradual introductory approach.

Totally agree with 2 previous posters. Not enough reward for the amount of intrusion and general faff likely to be involved; doing a short market research group in one evening would earn you around ?100 IIRC.

Love the Analytical Armadillo. Thought this was an interesting response too: http://dianaibclc.com/2012/05/11/yes-shes-4-and-yes-shes-still-breastfeeding/

Loads of people at Nature Play today! It was great despite the dismal weather. Lots of mud ingested too. But agree would LOVE some May-worthy weather! I seem to be doing a muddy washing cycle every day ATM.

This is the thread: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,862141,863752#msg-863752 I often go but am not going tomorrow and think Fi is not going herself either (she's the organiser) but there may still be a collection of mums meeting up.... It's lovely!

I absolutely read it as parents not mums alone (that would be outrageous) despite the refs to her/mum etc. In my family I am definitely the more active in terms of the online world/smartphone usage but I have seen plenty of Dads (especially at Peckham soft play!) ignoring their kids whilst surfing on the phones. I know I never ignore my son and he is the absolute focus of my days, but I liked this reminder to be more present in the here and now. I took him out twice today (in the sun, whoop) for a total of 4 hours and didn't look at my phone once apart from to arrange where hubby was picking us up from. It was fantastic, I felt we both benefited, and not just because the weather was much improved. Very much agree with Gidget re adult interactions, I am guilty of watching television with half an eye online - becomes really apparent if watching anything with subtitles, I realise how little I am concentrating. And re charlottep's point - of course we definitely deserve downtime. However, I don't know about you but my online time does not generally chill me out, I think it makes me more wired and I'm sure my rubbish ability to get to sleep at night has a lot to do with too much screen time. Especially in the evenings. That'll be now then... I really think (and do not follow this advice at all) that reading/knitting/chatting are much better ways of relaxing. Shame the twittersphere et al are all so addictive! Ah well, I'm going to work on my daytime addiction and worry about the nighttime one at a later date. On that note, night night!

I read this first thing this morning and it has REAlLY made me think. I know I'm guilty of this, I multitask and I 'check' on and off all day. http://www.handsfreemama.com/ This has inspired be to be less available to the worldwide web and more present to my LO. My iPhone addiction should stay in naptime where it belongs!

Ahhhh! One for the CPD file for sure! x

Hi Belle, I think your approach above sounds really sensible, I don't know much (yet) about ADHD but I am about to start a PhD in the subject from October (in relation to language impairment but I will have to do a lot of reading about ADHD first of all) so if I can be of any help in future let me know. x

What a lovely post! is this the wonderful Buggie you are describing I wonder?? Or is ED blessed with two lovely nurse Jennys?

This is a weird one and most people may know already, but if you are self employed and don't earn much money (e.g. I'm a SAHM who does a small amount of marketing consultancy from home but not usually enough to pay tax) yet think there is a chance you will have a(nother) baby then definitely register as SE and keep paying your *FULL* NI contributions and do not opt out and get a small exemptions certificate. I pay full NI every month, it's a few pounds a week and it means next time I get pregnant I will definitely be entitled to Maternity Allowance which is like Stat Mat Pay for the Self-Employed - ?100ish a year for almost ?5k maternity pay when the time arises... good deal!

Well, a great place to start is Martin Lewis' site, I use the budget planner (free) and find it super helpful and quick, he also has endless (messily presented!) information on saving money on absolutely everything from car insurance to phones to flatscreen TVs to mortgages etc etc. Here's the budgeting tool: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning#tools Other tips I try and stick to are: - meal planning (usually in my head but sometimes I write it down for the week) - bulk buying non-perishables when they are on offer - really bulk buying! I have a lot of old priced stamps (from last year's price hike not yesterdays) and a cupboard of the baby wipes we use... - slow cooker (see previous threads on this, but can allow you to use much cheaper cuts of meat so it all goes further) - when making meat dishes bulk up with lentils and vegetables as much as possible, really makes a difference between eating the meal in one go and having a load left over to freeze - on a similar note, eat one evening meal a week that is cheap/veggie - jacket potatoes, lentil dhal etc - taking snacks and drinks (especially for baby/kids) out and about with you - cloth nappying - reducing meals out - we find this easy at the moment with a 20.5 month old; at weekends we come home for lunch and nap so that really helps (again nice full cupboards with good meals really help this - online grocery shopping - reduces impulse buying, helps meal planning. I have an Ocado delivery pass (midweek only as it's cheaper) and even though the food is slightly more than Sainsburys I am convinced we now spend less and eat better quality food than before because we... (see next point!) - reduce unnecessary trips to corner shop, Tesco Express etc - this always ends up being a pricey way of buying food for dinner etc! - buy an epilator instead of leg waxing, I have a fab Philips one and it's virtually painfree and has saved me ??? over the 4 years I've had it - I used to get my legs waxed every month or so and now I epilate instead! - being savvy with loyalty points - I used to be better as this, but for example using Tesco points on the things that give you 4x the value rather than spending in store I'm sure there are loads more things, I'll write more if I think of any! x

Good advice here, second Emily at the South London Sling Library (and there is a facebook group too which might be worth looking). Debi at Slumber Roo is super helpful as well. Any of the recommendations are going to be 10x more comfortable for you (and baby) than the Bjorn at this age. I love slings and full-time babywear (with hefty 20.5 month old). Ergo, Beco Gemini, Beco Butterfly, Boba 3G and Babyhawk are all great, have owned/trialled them all, but I definitely think the Manduca is the best in class in the Soft Structured Carriers (SSC) category. I adore mine and I still carry happily (usually a front, facing-inwards carry but I am unusual in still predominantly doing that) every day. It does everything the Ergo does and if you have the choice to spend a little extra I'd go for it over the Ergo as really adjustable and will last you ages. Hope this helps, happy babywearing!

Crying over here!

I think you might need them re-plating, if that's a word... I'm a yellow gold girl but I was told rose and white golds are yellow gold plus coloured gold on top. I do have a little gold/platinum cleaning kit myself but not sure if it's ok for coloured golds - welcome to try though!

Really like the Lido cafe too but at the moment the pool is having a major refurbishment which has changed the ambience quite a bit, hope they get it sorted soon, was looking forward to an outdoor swim! I also rate Angels and Gypsies, Ganapati and Franklins.

Saffron Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I can imagine that some people feel the same way > towards their children as they do towards their > partners, regarding accepting invites w/o them. Exactly! Maybe (some, not all) parents would feel similarly bereft and strange about going without someone hugely important to them. Also, I do enjoy a good wedding and I'm sure (one day!) I'll really fancy some kind of child free night away at some point. But *whispers* my first choice for this might not be someone else's wedding...

That is outrageous Ruth. I BF my then-9 month old and 11month old last year at two weddings and received only positive attention. Cue lots of cooing Grannies etc, think it's a very appropriate sight at a wedding as many marriages do end up producing children, so I have heard...

I took Fi's comment as a humorous message of support to parents of non-sleepers, and also not in any way attacking people on this thread or forum - as Belle said there are mums on babycentre, mumsnet and in real life who don't think before they speak about their marvellous sleepers, eaters, walkers, cuddlers, readers without a moment's thought for those whose children don't do things quite as easily or as well. Think another case of written word being interpreted differently and causing offence where none was intended. On my birth board on babycentre there was an interesting post where a mum was boasting about her child's precociously good speech (and really boasting, no misinterpreted language here). A very dignified mum wrote back that it was hard to read as she had a very disabled son of the same age and it made her feel awful. Sleep is not on the same scale by any means as this but it demonstrates how one person's excitement and pleasure (often totally understandable and merited) can really grate on another. No one on this thread reads as smug about sleep, but can any of you say you've never met a smug mum or dad even if unintentional? I'm sure I've even been guilty of it myself - as the mum of an early walker but a not so early talker I can now imagine that my excitement about my little one's mobility may have been irritating to others who were waiting for (literally) the next step in their child's development. Back to sleep, think understanding the transience is key and like Mima08 I love the Buddhism for Mothers book, it really gives you perspective and is a calming and lovely read.

I think I'm in the minority (plus only one child!).... My house has lots of clean surfaces... Mainly due to my incredibly tidy husband... He is constantly putting away the few nice bits (or as he says knick knacks) I'm able to smuggle onto bookshelves... He is seriously tidy and the house is always immaculate once my 20mo is in bed. Our house has a touch of the IKEA about it, eeek! I do realise I'm lucky. Just to complete the picture, at any given time, if you opened MY wardrobe, you might get swallowed up by a landslide of piled up clothes and lost oyster cards, camera cables, paperwork, academic papers, parenting books... I have to keep my true, incredibly messy self pretty tightly under wraps! My husband despairs of my mess but can ignore it providing the door still closes. And I am much much better than I would be in communal, family areas, I have learned a little in the 13 years we've been together! God help me if my little boy inherits my genes and not his dad's! Although he already seems to enjoy tidying up so fingers crossed.

I'm really tempted as well even though the review is funny...