bluesuperted

Oh yes totally agree: cleaner if at all possible, a friend calls it simply 'an extra adult help around the place' rather than a luxury item. I also rate ocado deliveries, slow cookers and at the moment I'm treating myself to once a week taxi as I don't drive and it avoids one hard work bus trip so is worth it's weight in gold right now!

My gap is much bigger 2yrs 7m, but we've managed fine without childcare and no family nearby either. It's exhausting at times but like Pickle said baby needs ZERO entertainment as big brother so zany and therefore so much fun! I also didn't want to push no.1 out into childcare so we've just muddled along. We are not routiney though - I've found being babyled and using a sling has helped massively as baby is so content to be cuddled and just comes along for the ride attached to me! I would say it's definitely tiring but I'm very proud of myself for having managed it for coming up to 4 months now. Don't have crazy high expectations of how exciting your days will be to begin with, relish any time to relax (eg today baby slept on my lap for 2.5hrs while toddler floated around noisily and played with a million toys and random bits of Sellotape, post it notes and so on...Total mess but I let it all happen and it was so worth it for the rest!) and if you can have naps where everyone sleeps definitely do it. We have some lovely co-naps but these are few and far between as it makes for very late toddler bedtimes. Having two is adjustment but wonderful as well, good luck with it all!!

I can't give personal experience on this as have one of each so far but do know lots of very happy mums of 2 boys - very good playmates in all the cases I can think of. But why I'm writing is because about a year ago, in Nunhead cemetery, I met an older lady who made a big impression with her love of boys/sons. Basically she saw us playing with our very energetic toddler who was running around being very boyish indeed that day. She came over and started chatting, saying she had three grown up sons and I think three grandsons already. She was passionate about how wonderful it was bringing up boys and how much she had loved it, she said the best thing was being surrounded by grown up men who looked out for her, were great company and took care of her really well now. It was lovely to hear, as I thought we'd probably have more boys and it was nice to hear this positivity towards them. She even said that her daughter in law was expecting again and didn't know the sex and the Grannie was panicking as she was desperate for another boy! I don't know if it helps or not but I think it comes down to being positive and throwing yourself into the family you have - which I'm sure everyone does - and a bit like the mixed sibling thread, there are no guarantees with any of it; my daughter may be a tomboy, may hate the books I loved growing up and equally my son may not enjoy playing football like his dad does and may want to watch rom-coms with me!! It's all such a lottery of genes and dynamics... I'm slightly rambling but I wanted to tell you about the lady I met and hopefully help you get more excited about life with two boys. Sure some experiences two-boy mums will be along soon!

Would love ideas for this, just came back to see what people had put and no replies yet. I'm especially interested those that a) don't involve the tube and b) go from Forest Hill and into other stations with step free access! Any ideas? Particularly keen on beaches, don't mind train journey being long, more about the step free access as will be slinging baby and using bugaboo bee for toddler and general day trip detritus!

Thanks for this, sounds great and we were looking for a fair as missed Hilly Fields today as out of London. Also there is a fair at St Saviours in Honor Oak according to our neighbour but I don't know much about it, we will try both!

Have you seen these clips, I love them! http://m.youtube.com/#/user/ConvosWith2YrOld?&desktop_uri=%2Fuser%2FConvosWith2YrOld

Hi Lochie, hope you find a solution that works for you and hubby. We are long-term cosleepers (or as my phone just autocorrected 'cod keepers' hehe!) and very happy with it but definitely think you all need to be happy to do this, some good suggestions above. We are getting our loft converted imminently and are actually planning on our room (in the loft) having our king size plus our comfy three quarter bed in it too so everyone's at maximum comfort (4 of us). Most families I know have some degree of cosleeping going on so I think it's worth thinking about how best to accommodate rather than being irritated or downright squashed by it! I do think a lot of trying to just get through it in uncomfy set ups is due to 'keeping face' to guests and family/friends?! Not suggesting this is you at all! Just know we get odd looks from family and I like being brazenly pro co-sleeping (mine and hubby's stock line is 'we cosleep and we love it') but I know the pressure to conform/hide the reality can be hard. We stayed with friends recently and the dad has often ribbed us about our family bed... But having stayed with them we soon realised that they cosleep with both their boys every night from the early hours :)

I used to be very prone to nits, even in my twenties!! I'm not looking forward to my son starting nursery as sure I'll get them! Anyway, I never found OTC products that worked. I used nitmix which was amazing: http://www.nitmix.com/acatalog/nitmix.html And also my own concoctions of teatree, lavender and olive oil, a nitty gritty and lots of combing. I mean lots and lots. Every evening, every morning, obsessive combing. If you leave even one they will start up again. They are pretty resistant to the chemicals that it's really just oil and elbow grease that works! I remember calling the guy at nitmix (probably back in 2000!) and him telling me that my hair (very fine, dark, smooth and straight was probably reminiscent of pre-teen hair in smell and texture which is why they prefer it. My mil was a teacher for 30+ years and never got it but has much coarser hair so there may be smth in it. My mum always caught them off me and my sister too, so think you are either prone or not.

Jessie, absolutely!

Second that SB, I've got a Baby Bay (fab, similar) as I got a bargain price from a French company via a family friend out there - although mine was primarily bought to give us extra space and sometimes baby is happy to sleep in there between feeds, sometimes right next to me. The NCT also now do a 6 month rental plan of the bednest which is a great idea - new mattress but loan of the rest. Can't remember exact cost but it's definitely cheaper than buying. I got the BabyBay instead as I'd love at least one more baby :)

The UNICEF link is great scareyt, thanks. Cosleeping (along with breastfeeding and slings) has defined how I parent and I don't know where we'd be without it actually! We currently have a family bed set up and everyone gets loads of sleep - even with a newborn. In fact I love nighttime, it's really relaxing (ask me again when teething starts...). It also feels so natural to me and in many ways I feel it's safer than baby elsewhere, just last week I found myself jumping out of bed with baby who was promptly sick on the floor (I'd heard the gurgles and was able to react instantly). And in the past I've been glad to hear coughs/reach over to feel for a temp from next to my son rather than hearing on the monitor or doing constant across the hall nighttime checks. I know it doesn't suit all families, but for us, done safely and carefully, it's been wonderful and continues to be so.

Really worth reading to get a better understanding of the study in question's limitations. http://evolutionaryparenting.com/press-release-carpenter/ More information can be found here, from ISIS online which is a great resource on infant sleep in general. http://www.isisonline.org.uk/news/ The headlines are scary and I hope that any cosleeping mums on here can be reassured by these analyses. Safe cosleeping amongst non-smoking breastfeeding mothers has a myriad of benefits for babies and the alternatives (being knackered and falling asleep on the sofa with baby because of a perceived view that cosleeping is wrong) are much more worrying.

We had a brilliant day out for my 2.8 yo recently at Godstone Farm - loads to see for little ones and we enjoyed it too! Lots of animals, a soft play, reasonable cafe, big sandpits and tractor rides. There's also a big adventure playground near the exit - we didn't go in as ran out of time but the older kids might enjoy that.

Have you visited both schools? I'm in a similar position but in Forest Hill - have accepted places at Kilmorie and Dalmain but not 100% sure which I'll pick yet; at the moment Kilmorie seems front runner as, like verds says, have looked at catchments and much more likely to get into Kilmorie. I also prefer the school ethos at Kilmorie and nursery space despite it being less popular locally (both popular but Dalmain is more established). I'm going to make a final visit to Dalmain as already made two long visits to Kilmorie - one of which was a gloriously sunny day - versus quick rainy trip to Dalmain. Hope that helps - just how I'm making my mind up. The am/pm thing I think you'd just end up working with - I've asked for mornings but can see benefits to both.

Also Alieh I am about 4% of the way through the mumsnet thread, it's stupendous and epic!! I am adding to my list all the time...

Induction/range... You can get an induction range as well! We were planning built in oven but now tempted by induction and if we end up a bit more traditional I also like the idea of range/ induction although seems v clashing!

Thanks so much for all these great ideas - Belle was thinking same about not being too focused on the here-and-now of toddlerhood etc and instead thinking a little longer term. Feel my list is becoming clearer but finding all the posts and ideas (tragically?) fascinating so keep them coming! Thanks again all and for the PMs, so helpful.

Thanks so much everyone for the ideas so far, they are great, just the kind of real-world family insights I wanted to know about. LOVE Schuller kitchens but think they are a bit too pricey for us, do you have the name of the Scottish distributor monniemae? Also love the idea of drawers and they seem popular here, makes such a difference when you think about it! BellendenBear - where did you get your cork flooring from? That really appeals as it sounds durable and also attractive but cheap as well - and would you say less likely to need underfloor heating? Starting to get a priorities list: drawers, functional/warm floors, biiiig fridge, larder type storage and good worktops (don't think I like the look of granite enough so think it will be something like wood or maybe quartz but really depends on units), also thinking about induction hobs from safety/eco/cleaning point of view. What are people's thoughts re oven/hob choices? Anyone got an induction one? And sinks? There is so much to think about with a kitchen refurb, it's reminding me of planning a wedding!

Hi family roomers... I know this is a bit off-topic but know the knowledge levels here are high! Want to pick the brains of families who've been there and done that with their kitchens. Our old layout annoyed me a lot (we inherited the layout) and we designed a tiny kitchen years back but needs are very different when a 20-something free and easy couple! We are renovating our new house (1930s) and we want to make a liveable-in but not massive kitchen diner across the back of the property (no room to extend). I'm getting frankly quite baffled in terms of what is and isn't important for a family kitchen and wondered if people could give any ideas on what they love/hate/find invaluable about their family kitchen spaces... So far I think we have the layout sorted but any thoughts on the following would be great: - what style/look of kitchen works best for your family? I thought hi gloss/white/no handles would be nice and practical but now worrying a bit stark... Would shaker be nicer? - what company/brands do you rate? Our budget is not teeny tiny but also not massive but we want something that will last and not age in the next 5-10 years. We had been looking at slightly higher end but am now thinking should we also consider Howdens, Ikea, Homebase etc... - any thoughts on storage and fitted shelving ideas that would fit along one wall? - what worktops do people have and like? - any thoughts on best flooring? We were thinking solid engineered wood to match plan for rest of downstairs. - any tricks re making medium sized space good for cooking, playing, storage and eating, I don't like breakfast bars!! - fridges! What do people value and find useful/useless? Random request for a Thursday afternoon but would love some ideas to give me a bit of clarity of thought (hard with baby brain). Cheers all :)

We have just moved to Forest Hill (and LOVING it despite living in a bombsite) and I don't know Sydenham well at all but a) loving being somewhere that feels more breathable than Peckham/Nunhead borders where we were and b) spent the afternoon at Mayow Park (as we are in a close by section of FH) and it has such a lovely open and laid-back family vibe. I know this thread isn't about FH but our new street and neighbours are so friendly - feels like a proper sense of community and excitement about the area - and I'm so glad we made the move; we were priced out of ED but like others I wouldn't go back now even if we had the budget. In a nutshell I'd say go for it, have found or invigorating to start laying down roots in a new area and sure it'd be the same in SE26 given the positivity surrounding it on here.

Loved it too, sent to a friend who was deeply affected by the state of her tummy. SW, love that phrase! In that case I'm often pretty unnecessary!!

Little White Alice - stunning eco lodges near Redruth, beautiful spot, outside pool. We went with a cruising 7mo 2 years ago and loved it, sure there's lots to explore for older toddler as well. Accommodation superb. http://m.littlewhitealice.co.uk/ PS your hubby is cheeky! It's hard work sorting holidays and breaks - I'm always the one to do it in our house!!

Me too! And if they cover Forest Hill too... We sacked our previous cleaner when we moved house and want a Pickle-quality one urgently!!

Me too!

Oh I love it, heartbreaking about the text message... So hard to be replaced. And Bobby's Bear - deep! When my son was born I had the massive realisation that my parents (who I get on really well with most of the time) must love me way more than I love them, as I knew the way I felt for my child was do different to how I could ever feel about them... The way it's meant to be of course but a strange, slightly sad truth nonetheless.