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Thanks - hmmmm, the activities seem to be 4 til 4.30 or 5 latest.

Title says it all really. At school there seems to be an assumption that one parent is stay-at-home (ideally with no other children to care for!) and so can drop by school at pick up time, take kids to, say, a 4pm ballet/ swimming class, pick up said child half an hour later. If I am working til 6pm and picking child up from after school club/ childminder, doe that mean that any extra curricular activities will need to be at weekends? or after 6.15pm when we are home? Thanks.

Hi Devsdev and many congrats on pregnancy no.2! I used a theraline belt and a breast feeding pillow as had lots of scar issues after no. 2 arrived. I have to say I did not end up using the belt that much but I found it very very reassuring in the first, say, 4 weeks when I was very sensitive, in pain and worried child 1 might knock me. However I wouldn't say it protected much when feeding. I remember it being quite expensive but did some searching and found it half price somewhere online. I used a breast feeding pillow a lot and for much longer (say 3-4 months but you might remember I was very ill after the birth so needed all the help I could get!) so I would say was definitely worth buying. Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

I know some people who got private school places exactly this way last year - as parents got their preferred state primary school, they did not take up the private school reception place. I guess they lost their deposit but felt that was small fry in comparison to school fees!

Is it best to talk to the schools themselves or the admissions people about getting on waiting lists and where you are on waiting lists? And are waiting list places allocated by distance like school places, or time of being put on the list? Thank you in advance.

Can anyone recommend a great family friendly rental by the sea up to 3 hours drive from East Dulwich? I'm thinking Dorset, Devon or Isle of Wight, but have never been to any of these as a family (with 2 pre-schoolers) so have no idea of resorts/ towns/ places to look at. Feeling rather inundated with options! Any assistance appreciated.

Not much to add to the above but just wanted to say that I am a lawyer too, working 3 days/ week, in house in media. I have 2 pre-schoolers. I have found that in house seems to be much more flexible with regard to number of days working/ WFH than private practice. Remember that often jobs are not advertised as part time or flexible but when you approach companies setting out your expertise and what great value you are if you are willing to take a compromised salary in return for shorter days or fewer days than full time, openings do happen. Good luck.

thank you both - will check them out

Haven't been on here for a while so I'm sorry if this has been posted about recently. I am looking for hotel or aparthotel accomodation in Spain/ Menorca/ Mallorca/ Ibiza (ie. within 2-ish hours flight of London) for my family. We require 2 bedrooms. I don't want 1 bedroom plus a lounge with sofabeds, as then husband and I will have to sleep on the sofabeds while kids will go to sleep early (I hope) in the bedroom - not really my idea of a holiday treat. Can anyone recommend anywhere? thanks in advance.

I am really interested in this thread as I have also moved into a 'project' which needs fundamental work (rewire, new roof, new windows, total redec etc) as well as a rear extension. We have been told by a number of friends with experience in planning, design etc that we do not need an architect as an architectural technician/ design service will be able to make plans of our ideas for a much cheaper rate; we do not need design ideas just plans that are acceptable to planning and building control. I am around ('not working' ie. just with 2 kids to look after!) so it has been suggested that we do not need to have a project manager as a good builder will build from the drawings and the design service or builder will liaise with planning/building control. We had decided this seemed to be the most sensible way to do things, but having just met with an architect whose practice designs, liaises with planners, does building control plans and liaision, has a panel of builders and will also project manage on an hourly rate (eg. 1 hr/wk to ensure things are on track) this sounds very very tempting particularly given we have absolutely no idea about building, planning etc - maybe we should leave it to the experts...? I am still waiting for the architect to quote so I have a feeling the decision may be taken out of our hands: ?500 for drawings/ techinician or ?5000 for architect?! (random figure for architects fees, i have absolutely no idea how much they will charge!) We will be living in the house for the duration of all works. If anyone has recommendations for an architect, architectural technician or builder we could talk to, it would be appreciated (nb. we are in Bromley), along with any thoughts on whether it would be worth us instructing architects.

Thank you BeccaL - but if there is no way we will get into schools 4-6 as their catchments are tiny (1 road or less, we are say 10 streets away), are we not in the same position if we put them down, as if we leave them blank ie. if we don't get into choices 1-3, we will be allocated somewhere random and not on our list anyway, as we were out of catchment for all our choices? (sorry if that doesn't make sense)

Sorry to bring this one up again, but... I am now living a little way from the area, but am interested what views are on the following: you are told that you should always put down 6 choices. What if: - a school has been very unpopular in the past and thus has for the last 3 years had a 'catchment'/ furthest offer of over 3 miles. As it is our nearest school (0.5 miles from our house) and we were ok with it and its aspirations at the open day, we planned to put this as our choice no. 3. Is there any point in putting choices 4-6 down, given it is probably very unlikely that the 'catchment' will shrink so much that we would not get in? - there are only 3 schools in the area that we would ever have been in the 'catchment' for. Therefore is there any point in putting choices 4-6 down when we have never been in the catchment for any of the other schools in the borough? Advice would be apreciated.

We have a toy box from here http://www.poshbox.co.uk/Toy-Boxes.htm which gave a great service and a few people have seen ours then ordered their own. They may do a padded seat if you talked to them. Pricey though.

Thanks a lot for the reply, I will definitely give Joanna and Tony a call. The vendor is apparently too worried about insurance issues to allow access before the money is received, even on the completion day... hmmm.... this is when the house is of course insured currently by us and by him and will be 'ours' by middayish that day. I am haunted by my friend who bought somewhere even slightly less of a 'project' who discovered, after they had moved everything in, gangs of fleas nestled in the carpets, the curtains and blinds, the door mat. urgh.

(I have moved this to the ED business bit) We are moving into a new house which, to put it kindly, has been somewhat neglected - even the surveyor commented that it didn't look like it had been touched with a mop or a paint brush for decades! I want to get the place thoroughly cleaned and all the carpets cleaned as soon as we move in. The present owner will not allow access 1 minute prior to completion unfortunately, so this clean will take place the day after completion. I was planning on getting one company to do both the house clean and the carpet clean (perhaps cleaning downstairs, then carpet cleaning downstairs, then cleaning upstairs, then doing the upstairs carpets) so that they can co-ordinate and do it all in one day, the day after completion.... however I am now thinking that the day after completion of course the place will be littered with boxes and therefore some of the carpets will be less accessible, so perhaps I should just make do with a thorough clean and hoover initially and then get the carpets done a couple of days later when some boxes will have been cleared. Does anyone have any recommendations as to companies that do this or suggestions how to deal with this? sorry for the long post on such a boring matter! thanks in advance once again EDF.

We are looking for a lovely experienced nanny for look after our kids, aged 2 and 4, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays in Orpington where we move mid-October. Please PM me if you have availability or if you can recommend someone.

There are absolutely no problems with the size of the main seat, it is normal full size. The back/ second seat is fine for my big 14 month old, with a cosytoes in taking up room. That said, I'm not sure we'll be able to fit a cosytoes in by next winter when he is nearly 2; however he should fit in it no problem without a cosytoes given my 3.5 year old still fits in with a cosytoes (in fact, often demands to go in there, 'the den'). She is small though. I don't use the hood on the second seat, so i'm not sure about the length problems. I found the hood annoying as it would not stay back like the explorer one, I guess you could clip it back but I just took it off instead. I guess the bigger problem might be with the max weights - the second seat has a max of 15kg, I think the Vibe might be 20kg? The main seat on both is 20kg I think. My 3 year old is still only 12/13kg so this would not be a problem for us were she the younger one (and I would hope that by the time the younger one is 3, the older one will not be in the buggy at 5, so I will only be using the main seat) but I guess if one has a bigger second child they may get too heavy for it sooner, but I wouldnt imagine before he/she's 3ish?

I tried out a Navigator and a Vibe but not sure if it was the Vibe 2. I bought a Navigator which I still love (children now 3 and 1). I use it every day. It is easy to fold and feels lighter than the Explorer and the Vibe (the only other P&T's I tried) when hauling it into the car boot, maybe because it is more compact. Both seats recline, it's a bit like bunk beds when they're both sleeping in it! I have had to pump the tyres once in about 8 months (bike shop did it for free), they weren't flat it just wasn't handling as well.

Yes thats the problem with the grammars - the Sutton and Orpington ones are all super selective, so am not considering them as options.

Thanks Townleygreen, I understand you have to be within 0.9miles of the Langley schools to get in, but that includes bit of west wickham i think? I'm unsure if this is 'as the crow flies', which I think the distances are for primary schools. What is AFAIK (sorry if I'm being a bit dense!)

Thank you all for the info. We are actually heading over to the Eden Park and West Wickham side of things in the next couple of weeks, as the secondary schools situation seems preferable (and the primary schools are still ok i think). We are also looking at Park Langley, more towards Shortlands, but the trains arent nearly so good.

We are currently looking in west Beckenham for a house, in those rds mentioned above actually, it seems nice and well connected. However we are concerned about secondary schools. I presume this area is not in the catchment for the Langley schools, so what are the other options (we have a boy and a girl)? Are the only grammar school options the super selectives in Orpington or is there a non-super selective that is accessible? Advice appreciated.

I have had a P&T Navigator (the compact version of the Explorer/ Sport I think; 2cm longer than the Dot) for 6 months and have found it invaluable. I have a 2 year gap and when no.2 was born no. 1 wouldn't necessarily stay on the buggy board, and i sometimes found putting baby in the sling exhausting as he got bigger. Being able to strap no.1 in sometimes is great! I have been on the bus/ tube/ train 3-4 times a week in the last year and have never had a problem. Also, no.1 is in nursery a day a week so this buggy works then too, I'm not walking around with a wide buggy and empty seat. Both seats recline so both kids can sleep at the same time. The back seat lasts til 15kg: my (admittedly petite) over 3 year old has just weighed in at 12kg so I think the back seat will be ok if nec until no.2 is 2.5/3yrs old - I certainly hope that i'm not still needing a double buggy then! The lack of storage space bugs me, but then i don't like to carry a bag and am used to loading up the pram! It's really easy to fold and they claim it is lighter than other models but I wouldn't fancy regularly lifting it in/out a boot (I don't use a car). Having sung the P&T's praises, a double buggy even bought second hand is an investment and often not ideal for newborn so personally I would see how you go with the buggy board/ sling options first.

By the way, to those that know me, I'm not pregnant again! This is posted out of interest and on behalf of someone else.

I'll confess I have only skim-read this thread. However, I have a query: do people think it is easier for the dad to be 'involved' with the baby if he can bottle feed it, and therefore bond better with the baby? I ask because my sister, currently pregnant with her 3rd child, feels guilty about bottle feeding 1 and 2 (let's not go there on that) and would like to try breast feeding no. 3. However, she is concerned that her husband, who is keen to be very involved (this being his first and to be only child), will be unable to help with a big part of the baby's early months ie feeding. In addition, she asks how she is supposed to put her feet up and recover (!) and/or tidy, cook, give attention to her other children etc etc if she is constantly feeding the baby. I did say her partner could do the tidying, cooking and of course nappy changing etc but she actually wants to do the house stuff (so that it's done properly as she finds it depressing to live in mess) and also she wants her partner to feel really involved with the baby. I couldn't really answer this one as despite having exclusively breast fed mine for the first 6 months with no problems after the first painful month or so, I kind of agree that the dad gets shut out a bit. To the extent that I would consider mix feeding if I were to have another. I felt that it was very difficult to give attention to my older child and found being tied down by the feeding (no-one else able to do it) difficult. Of course you can express and then you or someone else can feed the baby, but this is in effect adding an extra feed time (while you express) so not saving time or energy or allowing someone else to look after the baby. I really feel that while the early months with child no.2 were a special time for me and baby (not that I particularly appreciated it as I had a difficult recovery period), and my older child and husband really bonded during that time, my husband did not bond with the baby at all, barely saw it, and 9 months in is still trying to connect with him. Sorry if this is off- subject.