DirtyBox

It was Lucas, he's got the flavour after bumping off Owen...

maybe they should go and get a highly paid job in the City then

you mean you went dogging?

Now that's funny!

you must really smell bad by now!

I had to try hard! Apparently you have to stay in the left lane when turning left and not head towards the oncoming traffic.... Worryingly I was by no means the worst on the course.

or some of these Firebox

I am that monkey! I had to re do my CBT before I could do the rest of the course, luckily I had 2 weeks between the CBT and the DA part.

Maybe it's because scooter riders are only required to have one day's training, most of which is spent in a car park riding around cones. I saw one yesterday attempting to undertake a stationary bus at a bus stop....

If we stopped trying to save Pandas and other useless animals that are too stupid to keep themselves alive then that would help...it's all the WWF's fault

I blame Christmas, all the people who can't handle their drink go out and annoy the regulars resulting in fights

Maybe it was the same little c**t I encountered a few months ago (also at Sydenham), asked him to turn down his tinny little music playing on his mobile so he got off the train and preceded to threaten me with extreme violence from the safety of the other side of the window (after making sure the door had closed of course).

That depends on whether you are touching cloth or not. Plus who's to say when the other cubicle comes free it doesn't smell as bad? Just get in there and remember to breathe through your nose otherwise you will be tasting it too...

or just tap the rim of the lid gently on a hard surface (a tiled floor works best), works every time...

hovering must be a great exercise for skiing, not sure I could manage to hover throughout the entire 20 minutes it takes to read the Sun while 'dropping the kids off' though... I have a male friend who sits down for a slash, weirdo

why are you letting people in to drop their bangers and mash in your chod-bin?

In my group of friends it's perfectly acceptable to turn round to Mr TightArse (not his/their real name) and say something along the lines of "get a round in you squeaky bastard!"

Make sure they are not in then force the door, chuck all their stuff in the front garden and make the house secure and start doing what you need to do. Wait for them to return and then see what they do, if they start trying to break in call the police to report a burglary in progress. In the ensuing argument just claim that the stuff was in the garden when you arrived and you fixed the locks because they were broken. The squatter needs to prove that he has been living there to claim squatters rights but it's unlikely they have been paying a utility bill so job done. You might want to get a burly friend to stay there a few nights just in case they attempt to return. Other alternatives are, as Ted Max says, beat seven shades out of them or go through a lengthy court battle

How long had it been there? Things don't go maggoty that quickly, especially in this weather. I bet your neighbour just chucked it over the fence because he didn't want to pay the ?40.

Is it just me but is this programme scary? These people all claim to be head chefs yet can't even cook scrambled eggs or fillet a fish. If that wasn't bad enough the programme is being judged by a fat slug of a green grocer who eats like an animal and says whatever Michel Roux says. Bring back Lloyd Grossman...

The last time I went out in Camberwell I nearly got into a fight with a man/she-male (couldn't really tell due to the 'lived in' look). At least ED is a bit calmer..

Single men can't afford to live in ED so like me live in Sydenham and commute to ED to go out

The West Norwood tip is closed now

Villagers are the best I've had in a long time, great selection too

I would have thought that the refusal to cook the burger rare is more down to the employment of a "chef" who doesn't know what he/she is doing. They probably just slap the burger on the grill for as long as the timer says then turn it over for the same amount of time, thus every burger is cooked the same and the "chef" doesn't have to have a brain (and the owners don't have to pay for a skilled chef).