Belle

Hi heidi, I know just how confusing and upsetting that type of appointment to be. You can't quite think of all the questions you have at the time, and you find yourself nodding along and then coming out and going, what?! I can't profess to know anything about specific measurements/centiles but just wanted to say I understand and hope you're not stressing too much. I found out at about 34 weeks that my baby was small for dates and this was confirmed by a scan (he was about 4Lbs 6 I think at that point but it was more that his growth had slowed quite a bit from earlier scans). In my case this was actually down to pre-eclampsia, but as others have said, lots of people have scans showing varying growth with nohting to worry about. and in the end he turned up at 36 weeks weighing 5.4 and was fine. It does sound like they are taking extra precautions which is a good thing, and should be reassuring - but of course them using terms which nobody understands doesn't help matters. Why not ring your midwife rather than waiting for the appt? She might be able to explain things better. One thing I wish I'd done differently is call my midwife more - was always worried about bothering them but that's what they are there for!

Hi Kate, I've yet to decide - though this thread has given me plenty food for thought. My little one is 5 months. I think it's great that it's your dream job you're going to AND you got those mornings with the babe. If your's is at all like mine, mornings are the best part of the day! I think in my case the issue is that I'm at a crossroads with work in any case - before you even factor in the baby. By the way, i might pM you about your counsellor training as that sounds interesting... Belle

Molly, you mention occasionally using a childminder - I was wondering if there are childminders who do flexible arrangements then? Because, for instance, if I decided to go freelance then I wouldn't know until the week before wh ich hours I'd be doing. Have no idea how that would play out in terms of childcare. I wish I had some kind of vocational qualification so that local work would be an option like you Pickle. the trouble is that the kinds of options that are available (other than going back to my job) just wouldn't cover childcare costs, let alone bring in any additional money.

the tangents are always good though! I'm going to look into that site too. It would be good to hear from anyone who did end up staying at home, as that's definitely an option.

I agree it's a great career from that point of view - but sadly I'm not really cut out for it - apart from not having anything I could particularly teach, I just don't have the skills needed! I really admire people who can do it. Though along those lines, I have been reading about the Government training programme for pre-school education and that does sound interesting.

This is really useful - giving me loads of things to think about! It's true that there are obviously so many different ways of doing it, it's just a case of working out which one is best for everyone. I totally agree that it's a myth that when they're in school it all falls back in to place - how can it? Especially with school holidays. My mum was a teacher and my dad was self-employed so I never really thought about school holidays and having my parents around till I got older - now I realise how lucky I was! Have no idea what we'll do when we get to that stage, first challenges first I guess... Will keep you posted if I end up doing anything interesting!

Wow, it's really interesting hearing about what everyone has done with work. EDZ, I'm so sorry about your job - fingers crossed things work out one way or the other. Completely agree littleEd family, it really annoys me that people assume the mums will do it all , even when they're back at work, and that flexibility for men doesn't seem a very common occurence. I'm lucky my husband can occasionally work from home which means I can nip out to the doctor's or whatever, and I should have said in my original post that my question applies to men and women really - I don't see that the question is restricted to what the mum does after the baby's arrived. in our case, both financially and in terms of enjoying the job, it's a no brainer that my husband will continue to work full time. It is really sad that leaving on time can be perceivd as sloping off - especially when I'd bet that most working mums are more efficient simply because they have to juggle and fit the work into set times.

Just curious given there are so many mums around, what have people done about work after having a baby? Have you gone back to your old job, and if so did you go part-time or full-time? Has anyone taken the opportunity to retrain or start a business? Just beginning to mull it all over myself, so am interested to here about other people's decisions.

Hi - I don't fall into this category as ended up bottle feeding (not the original plan) and sort of half heartedly routining though in truth he set his own routine. But jsut wanted to say that like Molly, I too always look twice at mums with twins and wonder if it's Fuschia! There def seem to be quite a few little twins out and about in ED.

I'd say above all else, not to feel those instincts everyone tells you about should kick in straight away. You won't necessarily know what to do straight away and that's fine, you muddle through! I found it hard at the start especially as I thought I should automatically know what to do with my baby, but it just doesn't work that way for everyone (am sure it does for some people though). I do agree that getting out of the house is invaluable but again, I found that I pressured myself to do this too much/too far afield at first and it can be exhausting. Doing it in manageable ways (eg start off by walking the pram round the shops) is what worked for me. Also for those who bottle feed, I think it's virtually impossible at the start to follow the official advice of making up feeds as/when you need them. I've always made mine up in advance - there's no way my baby would wait once he decided he was hungry. I might be shot down for that since there are supposed risks in preparing feeds in advance it but it's something that made a big difference for us in the early days.

It's true that the screens at the far end do help, and once i discovered these I found it a bit easier when pregnant - but getting to the front four carriages on say platform 14 even from there, with a minute or two's notice, was still near impossible in a crush. Easier if you're fleet of foot/not preggers/not old/not on crutches/not with a pushchair of course...

mike p - i totally agree re platforms, and when I was pregnant found this particularly annoying. on one occasion the platform was only confirmed 90 seconds before departure - for one of the furthest platforms, and the front four carriages only. Inevitably I didn't make it - perhaps if I hadn't been pregnant I might have squeezed on but there was no way I was doing battle at six months gone! I did complain to a member of staff who said that the passengers would have made way for me as I was pregnant. If only that were the case... I did complain, though it took ages to find anyone who'd admit it was in their remit - think was Southern or South East (based on Tonbridge) who I got a letter from in the end. Was quite a good letter but they said that the train can't wait in such circumstances as drivers have targets to meet...

I had a very tasty chicken caesar salad there, thought it was nice friendly service and good food.

Just to echo a couple of points - one, great to have this opportunity and actually get swift reseponses so it doesn't just feel like a cursory customer relations exercise. and 2, the ticket office has in my experience been closed at times it is supposed to be open several times. One time I went along to see my mum off and she was told by the person on duty that she'd just made it, as he closed at 1pm. It was 12.30 - he pulled the blinds down on the office just after he sold her her ticket.