Belle

There was a feature on this in Mother and Baby magazine not long ago and the option that came out top according to the reader panel (of buggy board type attachments, not double buggies) was this kind of clip on side car thing for the toddler - you can fold it up when not in use from memory, and when it's set up it's perfectly comfy for the toddler. Sounds a bit bizarre I know and was about ?70 i think but the reader/judges seemed to rate it.

I get a few pots of organix purees/rachel's first yoghurts and ella's kitchen purees to have in so that when i need them - esp if baby is tired, which affects how he eats - they're there. In BLW terms it still 'works' in that he prefers to steer the spoon in or eg this morning my husband gave him toast with puree spread on it for breakfast, went down a treat. Also find things like breadsticks/pitta and hummous work well, basically things that have instant gratification! Just back from hols and we were giving him french bread dipped in whatever sauce we were having at lunch (eg spaghetti with clams) and that worked really well.

who in their right mind goes running before their children are up??! if i by some odd chance wake before my baby my first thought is 'make the most of it - back to sleep!'. think post baby photos are a particularly disturbing thing on this whole issue - recently have seen a few of myself when I thought was looking vaguely ok but looking at the pics I look pregnant again, urgh, waistline seems to have disappeared somewhat. it is VERY odd to be able to fit into clothes on one hand but on other hand realise fitting in them and suiting them are two different things, agree with you both molly and karen! I fit a lot of mine but look v odd in most of them...have spent too much of my (small) maternity pay on new, more flattering, longer line tops!

Think those are really good points annaj. I'm pretty medically clueless and find it helpful to have all the facts - from across the spectrum of views - so hearing from your perspective is really useful.

I know - but I'm off to France tomorrow! Thanks tho. Will have a look on here and ebay first when I get back.

Yes, think it's really the change in shape rather than weight gain that bothers me - and too true Molly about the muffin-top: whole swathes of pre-baby clothes are now no-go areas. I've discovered some good disguises for the tummy but think my bad days are when my clever clothes are in the wash! I was lucky in that a lot of it did come off quickly but then I kind of stalled. I even wondered if I've got t hat thing where the tummy muscles don't knit back together but think it's more I've got a combination of love of tunnocks tea cakes and unwillingness to do sit ups. Smiler - am never a fan of 'friends' being that direct, just unnecessary isn't it? I too finish all my little one's food so am sure that's not helping but I wouldn't want anyone to point it out!

I know everyone says about "9 months on, 9 months off" re getting back in shape after having a baby but i'm at 8 months and feel like I'm just not going to quite get there. Anyone else in the same boat?! Not terrible or anything, just really hate having a baby tummy. On bad days I actually worry people might think I'm 4 months pregnant. I wasn't able to breastfeed so blame that for not having sucked my tummy in quicker, plus if I'm honest it wasn't exactly washboard to begin with...what do others think about this? Do you find you don't care so much now that you have a baby etc or does it bother you?

In terms of switching when you've moved house, I moved when I was about 20 weeks pregnant, had previously booked in with UCH and switched once I'd registerd with DMC down here, so ended up with the Lanes 'by default' in the sense that I hadn't wittingly chosen them - was very pleased I got them though! I was initially told there wouldn't be enough cover for a homebirth but was subsequently given the go-ahead, though in the event I had to go to King's. I personally had excellent care during the labour (mainly provided by the Lanes) but the post natal experience was a very different and depressing story. HOWEVER, I understand anecdotally and from King's themselves following a complaint I sent to them that things are very different there now and many improvements to the post natal ward have been made. Go and have a look round and see what you think is my advice. As others have said, if any problems should arise with the baby, they couldn't be in a better place - and you'll be glad it's so near.

Oh I know what you mean Lorraine - only last night I was saying I thought we should ration TV when he gets older and could tell OH was against the idea. I know the ideal thing is to agree rules in private ie not disagree in front of the kids but in practice, can see how that's not going to work every time.

ps sorry SB realise you didn't ask for a debate about the ethics of christening your child! If it helps,t he church we're going to is St Bride's up in Fleet Street.

I don't know - I think if the participants and the priest are content with their decision, it's not really for anyone else to have a problem with it. Everyone has very personal reasons - which will vary widely.

I think it's the same debate as the one over people who choose to get married in church. Ultimately it's personal choice, everyone has their reasons.

I think you can agree with the meaning of a christening and want it for your child without necessarily being a regular church attender - that's certainly how I feel. In my mind it's about a public ceremony to appoint godparents and welcome the child to the world, and if it's in church then that's in a spiritual setting you're comfortable with. Of course would totally respect a priest saying he'd rather we were regular attenders, and I wouldn't attend just for the sake of the christening. What we've done is found a priest and church who are willing to christen our child regardless of the fact we're not regular attenders. if that makes sense (just back from a rare night out).

Hi, if the baby likes the baby bjorn, might be ok for now - or do you find it uncomfortable? I'm sure for the relatively short periods of time you'd be using it, it must be fine - when I think of all the odd positions my little one slept in (when curled up on me for example) - think the baby bjorn must be the least of it! I found it v good for the early days, then turned him facing out for a bit and then moved onto patapum recently (like the ergo, but cheaper). B

We really like the idea of sharing childcare. Not sure how we'll work things if or when we have a second child but would love to find a way of using the new option (though admittedly haven't studied the ins and outs of it). I've recently decided not to go back to my job (little boy is 8 months) so we'll see how that goes...

Mine were pretty disclipinarian. I was v good and never broke any rules - my big brother was the opposite. I think I'll probably veer between the two inconsistently! I'm pretty liberal about some things but not sure my husband will always agree (eg I like the idea of explaining about drugs etc but encouraging open-ness, rather than just saying 'don't do it' - frankly I'd rather they just told me). In some ways I'm dreading the toddler years more than the teenage years, as how do you reason with a 3 year old? Can you? Hmm. The whole smacking debate...

Thanks all. Know for next time to try not to react! Ko - know just what you mean - and don't get me started on drivers not stopping at zebra crossings, even when halfway across WITH PRAM I've had drivers zoom through.

No real point to this post other than to relate something upsetting that happened today which I wanted to share with forumites. Me and my mum were taking my wee one for a walk in his pram and had got to the Nunhead edge of the rye today. I didn't quite see what happened but from what we can gather, as we crossed from the grass to the pavement my mum didn't realise a guy on a mountain bike was very close, so he had to brake suddenly to avoid the pram. She immediately apologised. Next thing I knew he was shouting at us - we thought he was just joking at first - saying 'that's right, hide behind your pram, hide behind the baby'. I started to laugh then realised he looked really angry and was REALLY yelling, at which point my baby woke up. i'm ashamed to admit I did lose my temper at that point and snapped at him for waking up the baby (he was still yelling and telling us to F*** off - we weren't lingering for fun, we were waiting at a crossing). I did also point out he was the one on a bike on the pavement. He kept on yelling, at one point even stopped and looked like he might get off his bike - and finally he said 'F*** off and take your happiness with you' (at which point I swore back and he left). My mum has pointed out that I was very silly to engage as he was clearly not in control of his senses and it could have been dangerous, but it was like some kind of maternal ire had arisen in me, I was just so angry that he was being very aggressive around my baby (and annoyed that he'd woken him up!). What was quite nice was that some men in a white van who'd seen it all as they were at a red light called out to check we were ok as they drove through the crossing. Also my mum pointed out that she finds the people round here very pleasant generally, which is true - nice to know this really is an isolated incident.

Does anyone else have the problem of finding stairgates to fit irregular sized stairs? I never thought our's were but on measuring, they fall betwixt and between every combination i've looked at. I've seen some that are like roller blinds - retractable - anyone got any experience of those or any advice on stairgates generally? little one is now crawling so keen to make the house safer asap.

Hi - just out of interest (a few years off for us yet) do you know what happens if the child's birthday falls in January?

Plimsoul - it was Philip Larkin.

Oh that's great - thanks both of you - he's 7 months so I expect I'll hear soon, don't worry about the number Cirtrovie. If I don't hear in the next month or two I'll call the HV. Hadn't quite clicked it was done separately to the Health Centre system.

Is there a standard time when babies are supposed to get this, as with MMR? I know we told the HV who visited us when the wee one was a few days old noted down that we wanted one and said something about a waiting list but since then I've heard nothing and just got blank looks when I asked during his other vaccines - not sure who runs it. how long have others waited?

Bumps and Babes in Red Post Hill is for pregnant people as well as mums - NCT drop in but you don't have to be a member, and they're starting one up in Goose Green I believe, I think on Mondays - will check. Realise that's more for maternity leave because of work etc but worth bearing in mind.

Oh Heidi, really feel for you - sounds awful. I didn't have nearly such a bad time but still think of that first week as the worst week of my life, despite the arrival of my son. The good news is it does get better from here, and this is the worst bit because you're in recovery AND have a new being to deal with, plus the trauma of a difficult birth. As Fuschia says, do get your birth notes talked through when you feel like it, it really does help. And do write to King's (I can give you details of who I wrote to when you feel up to it - it took me 3 months or so to have the time/energy but was therapeutic in itself). Also - just because something is normal etc, doesn't stop it being upsetting, especially when as in your case youv'e had a whole load of things going wrong. So as others have said, take advantage of offers of help because you do need to go easy on yourself when you can. I also found it shocking that King's didn't pick up on things, and though as Sillywoman says it becomes the parents' responsibility at birth to flag things, the fact is that in these early post birth blurry days, especially with your first child, you can't possibly know what's what. Do you have community midwives or a friendly GP you can go to for reassurance and to ask questions of? I found both helpful.