Belle

Yes, saw that a while back and it seems to have resurfaced - we had some cheapie charms which I've thrown out but it's quite scary!

I completely relate to that feeling of envy. I still get it now! But I feel more philosophical about it now. Everyone's experiences are different, my labours were bloody awful (even the Brierly midwife said my second labour was extremely intense and she understood why I'd felt traumatised). I think it's absolutely fine to give natural birth a go and there's every chance it'll work out - but you have to go into it prepared for it not to, and think about how you'd feel about that? I think I pinned too much on my second birth, I did hypnobirthing, I spoke to people, I did it all - but what I couldn't do was change the birth, and my babies just get stuck for some reason! I think I could have coped with never knowing if I could have done it any easier second time round, but I have found it hard (not really so much now - more at the time) to deal with the way the second birth turned out. If that makes sense! I guess what I'm saying is, weigh up - will it torment you if you don't give it a go? Or will it bother you more if you do, and it doesn't go the way you wanted it to? re tummy muscles, I have had two natural births and still ended up with diastasis recti which I'm still working to repair (slowly!), nearly 3 years after my last birth. I don't know much about this but is it possible that with an elective c section the risks of surgical complications are lower? (and presumably less time in hospital after?) Really are any of our tummies the same after two babies, I'm not sure!! I do get why that is an issue though, but the trouble is you can't guarantee a VBAC. Good luck deciding, I really feel for you, and sympathise. You still have time, so be positive: you have options, which can only be a good thing.

I have to say I regret not having an elective second time around. I had hoped to lay some ghosts, get healing wtc, abc I know for many the second birth does that - but it didn't for me. I didn't even have a c section first time so my case to get an elective was up for debate, but I could have pushed for it. You have a cast iron reason for one, and as far as I know Kings support maternal choice on this? I believe NICE guidelines also back you up here. However there are many who have a v different experience to this so as ever it's very personal and ultimately a case of going with your own instinct. Just thought I'd throw in my experience! Trying to be balanced: I did appreciate not having the hospital stay/recovery. But I think I could have coped with those if I had planned for them.

Absolutely agree, well done DPG! Great approach.

It's Open from Tues (2nd Sept) - tomorrow it's a staff inset day.

I bought my godson a selection of classic children's books (not all obvious choices - stuff that means stuff to me and his mum, like Robert Louis Stevenson's A Child's Garden of Verses, and some beautiful editions from Rye Books including a Brothers Grimm collection illustrated by David Hockney). Maybe not as original as you were looking for but I figured it would be a gift that he'd get some value from... My sons received lovely gifts, including special books and a Noah's ark which has been played with loads. My older son received a beautiful piggy bank which has really come into its own now he's a bit older, he adores it and we use it a lot. Is he getting christened somewhere quite picturesque? Could be nice to buy him a painting /photograph of it if so?

Thanks for the link to Benchmarx, those storage things for cupboards are exactly what we're looking for - does any one know if you can/or has anyone retrofitted these? our kitchen just needs tweaked, not fully updated, and ideally we'd just slot some of those into the deep corner cupboards we've got which are totally impractical. Also love the slide out spice rack thing!

Even potty trained kids have accidents at nursery and that has to be dealt with, so really it's pretty meaningless them saying they have to be potty trained. Like you and others posting here, my son is nearly 3 (in a month's time, gulp!) and completely disinterested in potty training. Totally different to his big brother who we trained relatively easily at exactly this age. He 'got' it quickly and was happy to sit on the potty for ages etc. My younger son just refuses and says he wants to wee in the bath (nice). I feel it could become a battle of wills so we have already given up one attempt to train and I'm not going to mention it for a while, and basically let it come from him. I know it's easier said than done but try not to compare, there are so many of us out there with kids who are going to train a bit later, it's really not a big deal - really no different to how they all walk/talk/sleep through at different ages to each other. I'd be inclined to have a month where nobody mentions it, and encourage other carers/family members to follow suit (I'm having to point this out to my mum/mum in law who are very keen to put my son on the toilet at every opportunity). Confusingly, my son keeps saying he needs the toilet (literally mimicking his brother) - but it really doesn't betray the slightest intent as when we follow it through he gets very upset, and refuses to sit on the toilet.

I can thoroughly recommend Pippa's pieces! Have bought several for my own kids and as presents and they are fab!! Look great but also wear well. Def check out the pics on FB - lovely stuff.

Any recommendations for a good toy farm? Looking for one for my son's third birthday next month. Ideally the sort that can be added to easily (makes it so easy if relatives want to buy him something!). I had assumed ELC or playmobil but not v inspired by either.

Is artastic on next week? Worth checking their website - J went twice last week and loved it.

We used to have a small hanging rail - one of the ones you get from JoJo maman bebe - which was perfect, but we ran out of space for it when we moved our boys into the same room. Now, we used a deep drawer in our fitted wardrobes, it's fine but I feel like they forget what's there! The hanging rail was good as they could see the complete outfits and choose what to put on etc.

Agree, def talk to a doctor about CBT and poss medication, if you haven't already explored those routes. To your point about not actually feeling anxious - I wonder if you've become so used to being stressed it's kind of the norm to you? So you don't realise that you're stressing? I found CBT very effective, my problems were more PND related than anxiety but we did address anxiety. I believe sertraline is considered very effective for anxiety, but of course only a doctor can advise on medication. The whole premise of CBT is 'change the things you can, accept the things you can't' - a really useful approach for anxiety. Maybe there are a series of small changes you could make which would add up to a big difference in your mental and physical health. Also, don't compare yourself to others. It's easy to look at people from the o utside and think 'why can't I cope like they do' but you never know what is really happening. Another link that a friend shared on Facebook yesterday really sums this up: http://www.postpartumprogress.com/cant-tell-mom-postpartum-depression-looking I think some of us are just more naturally anxious/disposed to depression and that is not our fault, but it doesn't mean we can't do something about it. Plus, it sounds like you had a rough time around your birth/afterwards, so you had a difficult start. Sorry, realise all of this is more relevant to the emotional side of stress, whereas it sounds like your symptoms are more physical - hopefully others will have more experience of that.

thanks James

There was a good tip on here a while back on the thread I think Fuschia started about juggling family and working, to photograph any letters home on your phone - that way you never lose that crucial info! and put dates straight in phone diary etc. Too true though, the school admin is something else, esp around Xmas/summer when everything happens at once.

I sometimes take those chocoloate brioche you can get cheaply from the co-op etc, prob not the healthiest but in my warped logic somehow better than a chocolate bar! I take strawberries when I'm picking my boys up from the childminder, but can work out quite expensive. After school though my feeling is he needs the carb hit. There are quite a few cereal bars you can get quite cheaply esp from pound shops etc. Tracker bars go down well with my 2, or some of the cereal brands - I think Jordans do one? Re uniform - kind of depends on how messy you're child is. I've kept buying more throughout the year as find we get through a top a day, and most days a pair of trousers a day too. More than once me or my husband could be found hastily baby wiping yesterday's shorts/trousers in a panic on school mornings :) Prob best as mentioned to start with just a few of each and buy up more as and when you need (schools do second hand uniform sales, we got loads of school branded tops/t-shirts this way). We didn't need plimsolls until the summer term for PE and even then my son just took in his trainers so I never bothered.

I'm sure someone posted about this on here a while back? Also - is there a single parents thread on here, am sure there has been in the past - might be worth posting about it there or changing the subject header so that it's obvious, some may have missed what this is about.

Yes, agree. Well done. I wonder if the perpetrators hang around outside the entrance rather t han actually inside? As I agree, it is usually well supervised.

He's moving to a new school, which I know sounds like the obvious reason - but he's actually very relaxed about that! Saw GP today who on initial testing thought likely UTI so have antibiotics, though we will only know for sure once the lab tests are back. I do think regardless of whether it's an infection that th ere is an issue with sleep/nightmares. Replacing the hall lights (several of which had died) has really helped last night.

Will definitely check with GP. He did it again last night and I was there when it happened/just after - he seemed to be having a nightmare/night terror (when he woke up he claimed he hadn't had a bad dream so thought poss the latter). He was completely drenched, so it's not just a case of not quite waking up in time.

My son has just finished a really enjoyable week doing the Gruffalo with the Freedom Academy. As well as holiday workshops, they do weekly drama classes, including for age 5/6 (which I've actually just enquired to sign my son up for on the basis of last week) - based at Goodrich school (but for everyone) - have a look at the website. He did the holiday club last year too and I can thoroughly recommend them as teachers. http://www.freedomacademy.co.uk/classes

Agree it's really hard, we had this a lot and still do with my son who's now 5.5, but I well remember the tricky bedtimes when my younger refluxy baby was struggling to get to sleep and my older son would play up. And it is really very tortuous being screamed at by your child. Me and my older son do sometimes end up yelling at each other, and then we "make up friends" as he puts it. What I would say in hindsight - and can see more clearly now I have my younger son, who is approaching 3 - is that 3 is still very young. So poss a bit young to do the 'make up friends' chat but definitely agree with Yak about the saying sorry bit, might encourage her to do the same? Do you think she is happy at nursery? Are there other options if not, maybe worth looking around? Sometimes the fit is just not right - particularly if she was very settled elsewhere before. At about this age my son started school nursery sessions w hich helped enormously. I'd been worried he was too young, it would lack the intimacy of his previous setting etc, but it really suited him and he loved it. And it helped me a lot too. It seemed more stimulating than a daycare setting, as it's just sessional, so more focused if that makes sense? Which obviously tired him out a bit too ;) Sorry not to have more to say but overriding thought is, please don't feel bad because everything you've written I could have written myself at the same stage (still could at times) and I think you are looking at yourself in a very harsh light. Try to remember all the good things/times too.

Thanks James, that sounds like a positive approach to take.

I know there's a thread about this, but it seems like a slightly different issue. My 5.5yr old has suddenly started bedwetting in the night - he gets up (not uncommon for him to come through and get us in the middle of the night) then realises he's wet, and we usually have to change everything so we're not talking a tiny bit. What's weird about this is that he's been dry at night for two years. I am not sure if I can ever remember him wetting the bed before now. I know kids wet the bed from time to time. But 3 times in a week seems like it's about something. He has had water before bed on the nights in question - but he often does this, and we are not talking gallons. He ALWAYS goes to the loo right before bed. And he's capable of going to the loo in the night if he needs to (which is rarely). On the other hand, he regularly has nightmares and night terrors (quite different things) and has sleep walked in the past. We have had a run of pretty bad nights with him, culminating in him wanting to be in bed with us a lot of nights, which we're trying to coax him out of. I'm worried that in succeeding in this, we've inadvertently stressed him out hence the bedwetting. We were really gentle though - stressed that he must tell us if he's scared or come and get us, we will stay with him as long as he needs, it's just that when he sleeps in our bed none of us actually sleep. Any thoughts/similar experiences? Looked up NHS website and it recommends a GP visit if suddenly wet after being dry a long time. But I want to be really careful how we handle it - we've obviously been really gentle when it happens and not in any way told him off, just said "don't worry, we just need to change these sheets quickly".

Hi - my friend (who may appear here to post!) has her son there and is very, very happy. On that basis I'm recommending it to a friend moving to the area who is having a baby in the Autumn. I do also hear great things about Puddleducks.