Belle

Ruth - i'm always going on about this but do you think it would help to request getting talked through your birth notes, when you feel ready? I got the midwife present at my birth to do this and it really helped. might exorcise some demons and help with the insomnia. Which also by the way can happen when you're really tired - or does to me - almost because you KNOW you need to sleep, the pressure means you don't! the fact is age is nothing to do with it - nobody knows what they're doing with a first baby (you even hear nannies saying it's hard when it's your own), ignore any explicit or implicit criticism. it amazed me that there wasn't more solidarity among some mums (of course there is amongst some, don't get me wrong - see Bumpy's kind offer above!) - I was told several times that my baby was 'difficult' and 'demanding' by someone from my NCT group. not helpful!

12 weeks is still so wee - totally agree every two hours is hideous and I know how awful sleep deprivation can be - but what I mean is try not to compare too much with people saying their babies sleep through. What do they really mean by that? I remember my mum's roofer telling me his baby (2mths) slept through and when I said 'really?' he said 'aye well, just wakes once now for a feed about 3am'. Which just illustrates that everyone exaggerates a bit, sometimes very simply because they're kidding themselves as much as anything else. It's already been said but - share the load as much as you can. If your partner's job means that getting up at night is out of the question, perhaps he can take over at weekends to give you that bit more sleep. Like the poster above I didn't breastfeed but I remember asking a (male) friend whose wife did, what he did to help at night (as he'd talked about getting up x times) - he said he'd get up and bring the baby to his wife for a feed, then do the winding/nappy changing if necessary and resettling after. Ok so he is sort of saintlike but even if that's not feasible in the week, could it be at weekends - or could your partner do the 11pmish feed with expressed milk in a bottle? Also..is it that one of you is staying in with the baby after that last feed because historically he's not settled well? Just wondering if he's not settling well because you're in the room. Dummy was my saviour so am with you on that one...

I remember briefly debating the same jabs you're talking about - mainly because my midwife and nct teacher had pointed out (rightly) that it was our decision as parents whether to have them or not. My mum pointed out the gravity of some of the illnesses these vaccines protect against and the penny dropped really, for me, so from then on we've gone with everything (apart from swine flue jab as just haven't had a cold-free moment to do it, and have prioritised the mmr).

hi, I've tried loads but the best I've found are the v basic tommy tippee ones you can get in somerfield and all the chemists - they're pretty cheap and have no valve or anything but having tried doidy cups, non-spill, fancy pants 'magic cups' etc, I went back to the tommy tippee ones and they're the ones my little one drinks best from. We did also get given one with a sort of straw and screw on top, from Villeroy & Boch of all places which is good. I do think it's one of those things - bit like bottles - where you might have to try a few though. I started when he started on solids, so I guess 6ish months but I'd say it took him a good few months to get the hang of doing it esp on his own - now at 13 months v happily takes his milk feeds and water from it. Some babies are much quicker on the uptake I think.

We had this recently when my son had a cold - saw the doc who said it was an eye infection and prescribed drops but after the first go we didn't stand a chance of getting them in! It cleared up on his own, though we cleaned with sterile water a couple of times. Someone on here recommended castor oil for eye infections so will try that next time.

Half request for advice, admittedly half a bit of a moan... After what we thought was a reaction to mmr was diagnosed as ear infection, antibiotics seemed to sort my little boy out last week. However he then got ill again - temp over 40, screaming, not sleeping ALL night, so we were back to the doc's on Thurs and she reckoned poss another ear/throat infection, eardrumms v red etc, and prescribed a stronger antibiotic. She also said he had a 'touch of the measles' in reaction to the mmr jab. Just to reassure everyone - not scaremongering about mmr AT ALL - because she rightly pointed out this gives you an idea of how bad real measles is, and she also said she'd rarely seen a reaction as bad as his. So, sucks for us a bit but nothing to worry about generally. Anyway new antibiotics seemed to work , much much better by Friday and steadily over the weekend. I should have mentioned when she said he was a bit measly it's because he had some rashiness as you're warned about in the mmr leaflet. Well today, he has a different rash - more like spots. Started off quite dull in colour so we thought poss the end of the measly rash...but it's all over his torso and neck and getting redder. Say it isn't so...would it really be poss to get chicken pox now, and also, how come he seems fine 'in himself'? Is worse to come?! We're on our knees after an awful two weeks so praying it's not, I for one can't stay inside another week or will go mad!

Mine went through a phase of waking early, having his first (ie morning) feed and then going almost straight back to sleep for another hour, could be something like that...they do all go through phases where they're waking up as early as 5 ready to start the day, fun fun! If you're worried about sterilising there are lots of ways to make it easier on holiday. the simplest thing I found is to take a tupperware box to carry your bottles in and then buy some milton tablets - then basically store all your clean bottles in sterile water, remembering to refresh the water/tablets every 24 hours.

Fuschia - when do you do lunch with a 12-2 nap? This is what am struggling with at the moment - today it meant lunch was at 2.30 so he wasn't v hungry by tea. We're all out of sync as he's v poorly so not representative but curious to know how you fit it in. (Sorry SB for quick hijack!)

my husband wasn't keen but i did kind of trick him into watching episode two or three and now he likes it, especially the comedy touches (we both think the receptionist is hilarious, in a bad way). a friend of mine is looking at an elective c-section as she has an extreme phobia re natural birth, so it's really nice to hear these stories and I'll pass them on.

ooh ryedalema I'm so impressed you're making cupcakes, I'm only juggling one smallish child and never manage anything like that! But I had my maternity leave at similarish time and whilst it starts off in winter it's great going into spring/summer and being able to feed/change nappies in the park and generally get out and about easily. I think that maybe NCT do a second time mum thing? Am sure have seen posts from some of the mums with two (Pickle maybe it was you?) about it. thumbs up for a lighter, happier thread!

I thought the midwife was very good in suggesting that it might be better to now go for a c-section as she'd need her energy in the coming days and weeks - v sensible! And agree it was a v positive portrayal of immediate bonding - must say I had a normal (forceps) birth and took much much longer to bond with my baby than joy and fabio, so it just goes to show really that the method doesn't necessarily have an impact (but perhaps the manner, meaning the environment really, does).

While I can't remember a particular time where i ended up giving my baby the bottle in a changing room it's entirely possible I have, and I certainly would with any future children if they suddenly got screamy while I was mid-change. As others have said if the alternative is leaving them to cry you're likely to offend people that way too...and yes, it is like blowing your nose/reading a text someone sent you while you're in there/taking a few minutes to sort your hair since you've seen what a mess it is in the mirror...all of which are actually much less pressing than a hungry baby really.

my husband reckons joy and fabio should have their own show...thought it was sweet when later on (prob after epidural kicked in) she was much nicer to him and said he'd been a great birth partner - he was v resourceful I thought. Also agree she looked lovely in the 'after' interview, they were both so happy it was lovely. One of the best things about the programme is how they give you the background, it's really interesting. did anyone else notice Fabio reading that Woodworker magazine?? was just perfect comic touch, agree the editing is genius.

Woody - if you do it at 12 and 15 you don't have anything at 13 months. It used to be 12 month jabs and then at 13 months, the MMR. Now they offer those all at the same time. Why do you need a second one? No idea. Booster maybe? If they're doing it to make sure it works that's a good enough reason for me.

As far as I know that's not quite correct Woody - it's a set at 12 months including MMR, then MMR booster 3 months later. Tulip - agree with what you said. I did ask the nurse and she said obviously it was up to me but she pointed out they'd not be offering it if they weren't confident it was safe to do so. She also said that while children do react to jabs, she h adn't noticed them reacting more to having the 12/13month jabs combined.

magpie - the mum in question has explained her baby is very quick and she'd looked round the shop and there was only one other person in there, plus one changing room was free (there were two). She also said she was already in there trying on tops. So in that context I really don't see the problem. It wasn't like she was walking down lordship lane and thought, ooh that'd be a good spot to feed my baby. I've frequently had to bottle feed my baby on the street and all sorts of other places (classy) - doesn't seem fair that a breastfeeding mother be criticised for doing exactly the same thing.

As I thought, think it is illegal to stop someone bf in public - found this interesting thread on babycentre: http://community.babycentre.co.uk/post/a5852125/rights_for_breastfeeding_in_publi basically it's a bit piecemeal but I think the 2008 Equality Act was the one that clarified it (though up to 6 months - but beyond that the mother should be protected under sexual discrimination legislation).

I don't think legally they had a right to ask you to move - maybe someone else on here knows more? Def worth complaining to the practice.

Woody - that performance makes me even more convinced of the case for vaccination! But as Polly says, not was this thread was for. For what it's worth - having posted earlier in the week re my baby's reaction to the jabs, the doctor yesterday diagnosed an unrelated ear infection. I took the view that it's hard to find a day when babies that age don't have a cold etc, and as they have to be well to have the jabs I was happy to strike while the iron was hot and get them all done at once.

i was just wondering about that bizzylizzy as I know some of the people who worked on the breastfeeding manifesto (which changed the law so that you cannot be stopped from breastfeeding in public) - wonder if it constitutes a public place? obviously they were wrong either way but would be helpful if it does count as one as they wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

must say I'm a huge fan of the BLW-with a bit of a puree- method...BLW worked really well for us but that's partly because a) am not that houseproud so can cope with the mess and b) baby is v strong-willed and it seemd to suit him to be in charge from the start. It is slow at the start and I think def true that won't be right for every baby, and it's not like one way is 'better'. Does suit lazy non-cooking mums like me though...we do a lot of keeping leftovers etc. At the beginning there is a lot of gumming going on but as long as they're getting plenty milk it's not a problem. I do use fruit and veg purees partly to perk up things like mash, but have always found he can handle veg/fruit without having to puree it. Think you kind of have to have a bit of faith in them.

That's just ridiculous, and such a crazy way to react too, spraying air freshener! As you say lucky it wasn't a new/first-time mum, they might have been very intimidated by that.

oh buggie thanks that's v helpful. And thank you molly too, if he's bad overnight/in morning again I will indeed ring in to check.

I know this has been covered in previous posts but have some quite specific worries...my little boy had his 12 month jabs (including MMR as they're now all offered together) on Tuesday morning. He has never had any reaction to jabs previously. He started getting crabby and clingy as the day wore on (gave him calpol as a precaution) and we had a terrible night as he got worse and worse. But then was fine during the day yesterday, gave him calpol a couple of times, same story - worse as day wore on, then a terrible night: very hot, we had to strip him down, and just v upset. Today he's been pretty upset on and off all day and v warm despite calpol etc. I think he's ok 'in himself' but got a bit worried as he was very trembly as we put him to bed, and a bit blotchy - yet reasonably chatty and not that unhappy, and v happy to get in bed and go to sleep. Have read all the stuff about usual symptoms but it's quite general and just not sure if reactions go on more than 24 hours? it's v bad timing as my father in law died very suddenly on Tuesday so we're v preoccupied at the moment dealing with that and feeling a bit all over the place really. Anyone had experience of this kind of reaction? It's the trembly bit I'm most worried about but am pretty convinced it was shiveryness rather than convulsions.

You can take the tray off and chuck it in the dishwasher too...