tedfudge

What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1 Forrest 1

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

There are some excellent jokes on here people of dulwich ... I appreciate those that are contributing to this jokes section and I hope that we are making people laugh and smile... This is no joke

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me

Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison

What do you call a woman with one leg ?.. Eileen

What did one hat say to the other ?.. You wait here I'll go on a head

What do you call a fish with no eyes ?? A FSH

Anybody wish to tell jokes and make us laugh for the day ?? I accidentally took my cats medication this morning.. dont ask meow

I recieved a letter from a debt collection company yesterday on behalf of euro car parks for parking in tessa jowel clinic even though I had an appointment the offence was committed on the 7th September but did not recieve a pcn from them , the first I heard of this was when I got this letter from the debt company asking for £155 , I've sent an email to euro car parks about this and iam waiting for a reply .. I refuse point t blank to pay this fine as I had no letter from them apparently they sent 2 or 3 to me. I will let them take me to court

Looked like it had hit the little island in middle of the road and flipped,

As of 7am this morning there was a car on its side on crystal palace road outside the actress pub .. police are there but road may be shut until recovery vehicle takes it away..

Hello people There are 2 guys going around trying people car door handles to check of they are unlocked around Barry road and surrounding roads .. they seem to try these roads at least once a month as they may go to other areas and try their luck.. I have confronted them on 2 different occasions. Both white one tall one short both with scouse accents . Be aware and makesure no valuables are on display and double check your doors are locked and windows are up ( I have seen a number of vehicles that have left their windows open )