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Oh, we have crap public transport and have to drive or get taxis everywhere, miss those red buses!

I was dragged to Surrey in 2010 and haven't had a decent takeaway since! Total small town suburbia where we are now. I like the fresh air, trees and physical space, and good childcare is much easier to find. Public services and all kinds of things, eg leisure centre, seem less stretched. Dislike the long commute, especially early starts in the winter, and lack of good places to eat. Transport by train, Southern shennanigans aside, has actually not been too bad compared to ED/Denmark Hill in 2010.

I wouldn't personally have been Ok with what your mum suggests.

Oh, and have seen lots of kids/parents going through similar! Always a relief when it's not your one (that time anyway)!

My eldest was like this, not had same challenge with the younger one. With playdates I got fed up and didnt arrange any for a while (a few weeks!) and told her this was because of her behaviour at the end of them. Which worked. With childcare (childminder then after school club) found it tricky and embarrassing. went with sanctions like no TV, telling her afterwards at home (threats seemed to escalate things!) and praise when she came willingly! But never quite cracked it.

Moved away from dulwich a few years ago and still really miss the parks, especially this one. Must visit soon.

Unless an all-through school, expect most emphasise and have lists on request of the number of entries to popular, selective private and state secondaries.

Minor point but many employers won't agree to people working FT hours over 4 days. Childcare and housing costs are lower outside London, so commuting might be worth considering of one or both of you can work elsewhere (we both commute which is hard going!)

Also take care of YOU, 4 days a week paud work plus all drop-offs and pick-ups is a lot.

Relate to this. vote for a nanny/preschool if you can afford it!

You can do or buy a plain white, blue or sparkly cake and get plastic figurines from ebay cheaply, not amazing quality but looked good and can play with them afterwards!

Moved 4 years ago to get a bigger place and because partner disliked living in a city, was very sad to leave. Main things I miss are all the shops and services on Lordship Lane, Peckham Rye Park, Dulwich Park and Library and the London buses! Two people commuting to London doesn't feel like great quality of life. Think the main benefits of where we are now apart from lower housing costs are fresh air and nature, more school/childcare options and less pressure on services, eg we can always get a GP appointment, no waiting lists for children's activities. Not had a decent takeaway since we left!

Week in a flat in central Budapest. Approx ?1200 for flights, accommodation and spending (self catered). Some great outdoor family swimming baths and was hot.

Something by Sarah Waters perhaps, Tipping the Velvet is a good one!

Yy to maya angelou. Does she have a kindle? Mine is linked up to my mum's excellent collection!

If you want to drum home the safe sex / family planning message, suggest We Need to Talk About Kevin!

Others I like: Hideous kinky, the Bell jar, I capture the castle, The Hours (and Mrs Dalloway).

As a student I enjoyed Maeve Binchey's Circle of Friends: quite twee but set at a 1950s university and easy reading, good plot and good on relationships of all kinds, including not taking back cheaters!

Another recommendation for "siblings without rivalry"!

My daughter was there for a year or so 5 years ago, there seemed to be problems then with high staff turnover (with the better staff leaving) and a poor, badly qualified manager who stated to parents frequently that she wished to return to retail. Before that manager, there had been an interim one drafted in temporarily from elsewhere in the chain up north. It seemed to me that they were not paying enough to recruit a good manager.

My eldest received a lovely "grow flowers in this bag" thing, but after the initial stage you had to bloody separate out the shoots and repot them into 10 separate pots (pots/soil/space to store 10 pots not provided!), or face questions about "why are you killing the shoots mumm?"! Grrr.

If they have younger siblings and/or busy parents, suggest avoiding anything they can't play with or do without supervision, craft kits bring on guilt for me and some of my friends like nothing else! Sticker books, felt tips etc good though!

Tea bags in cold water work really well, but can be messy!

Oh, and when you open them on the plane and everything falls out!

Good for toys and sitting on if waiting around. Menace when children run over people's toes with them!