Paul Holdsworth

Chartwell Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Yes, it must be a real pain to deal with > arsey customers but isn't there something in > attempting to deal with each customer as an > individual for that few minutes that the > transaction is conducted? That's not paranoria > that's just having a sense that your custom might > be valued even if one is not able to get in there > mid morning, mid week. I'd agree with you absolutely, Chartwell, if these fantastically popular and successful shops were just setting up - but they're not! They've got more business than they can handle, and they've probably (intuitively) worked out that they're better off just getting on with business at peak periods, spending time chatting when they're less busy, and accepting that if this loses them the business of more, er, sensitive types, then it's not really worth worrying about. And they're not just the same business, they're FAMILY! So that sudden death was a wife, a mother, and an auntie to the guys working in both shops - and of course, they worked right through it - they've got proper stiff upper lips! I say big it up for independent retailers - they love their customers - they're the best! And yes, their samosas rule, and so does their astounding foccaccia!

Have you tried talking to these people - more than once? I used to shop in SMBS and the Cheese Block regularly, and found that, once we'd become acquainted, everyone was nice as pie! Do you expect retailers to fake a cheeky chappy smiley attitude with everyone that comes through their door? Go in to either shop on a Saturday and see the big queues, arsy customers and then ask yourself "Could I keep up a positive attitude for every single customer in these circumstances?" Probably not - you'd be too busy trying to get everyone served as efficiently as possible. Midweek, mid-morning - they have time for chat. Otherwise, they're concentrating on getting you served. As for the derisory stare - that just sounds like rampant paranoia. I can't be the only one who thinks these are the two best shops in ED - can I?

Mrs. Mum in hats and underwear? - wait, let me loosen my tie. And Mr. Dog standing by in case we need a hand with the baggage - where do I sign?

Woah! Hold on now! The oestrogen is swilling round my knees already! Dearest, loved-Up Kathryn, good idea, but not well thought-through. Taking all 17 nephews and nieces for a weekend might stretch even Dulwich Mum's doubtlessly indefatigable maternal instincts to snapping point. Especially as the youngest is seven - and the oldest thirty... Gorgeous Mrs. Mum, I really don't WANT to be a daddy, and the experience of watching my siblings raising their children - the tedium, the hard labour, the daily grind - confirmed me in that opinion. I LOVE children, I just don't want my own! But shopping with you for just about anything else? Yes please (my favourite shopping experience is midweek in Fenwick's with a woman of taste and discernment - that's you, isn't it?)

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We will just have to wait and see what happens to > darling Paul when he becomes a daddy. > It comes to us all sweet cheeks, just wait your > turn. You will see. Hmmm, I'm not sure about that, Ms Mum. I'm 47, in a LONG term relationship (two decades-plus) with a congenital infantophobe. Mind you, I have six siblings, who between them have produced SEVENTEEN nephews and nieces just for me - think of the PRESENTS! And of course, you knew my post was just a jape - I smile sweetly when a buggy trashes my Birkenstocks, and queue for the privilege of humping some ludicrously overpriced Hummer-esque buggy down the stairs at tube stations for a mum who thinks that's what I'm there for. No, being child-free is fine by me - so long as I can play with other people's darlings when the fancy takes me.

Naaah! How about this? Parent ensures dinky little buggy tray beneath darling is stocked with a wide, strong webbing ratchet strap. On arrival at coffee/tea emporium, parent secures child in buggy with said strap, leaving buggy OUTSIDE emporium. Parent then enters and fights for best seat/today's Guardian/staff's attention with the rest of us. Should child's screams disturb the convivial atmosphere, parent should, WITHOUT being asked, either sit outside and soothe infant, or go outside, fold buggy, and return to finish beverage. No?

Beware the mythical reputation of Catholic schools. I went to St Joseph's Academy, on Belmont Hill, in the seventies. It had a great reputation, built upon an allegedly fine past, but it had become truly dire. I was a nervous, shy kid and I was bullied and beaten - by the teachers and "christian brothers" who were supposed to be teaching me. The brothers each had their own cane or leather strap. One had a particularly fiendish 'tool', comprising a short cane stitched into a chrome leather cover - it gives me the shivers just to think about it. This was a school my older, perhaps more robust brothers had been to, and the quality of education had plummeted, while its fine reputation lived on. If you want a good education for your children, be honest and fairminded and remember that, if you do your job as a parent properly, they'll flourish in everything but the very worst establishment - their presence in an 'average' school might even help it a bit!

Thanks, Bobby, I suppose we'll just have to agree to differ. As for the Lordship Lane Community Street Audit, I'm supposed to be writing the report right now, but I just find this Forum more interesting! For those in the know, you'll probably be relieved to hear that I'll be suggesting Southwark improves the zebras round your darling roundabout, rather than anything more radical. Again, I'm having to agree to differ from local opinion on this, and I know my place - Lordship Lane is YOUR neighbourhood, not mine!

As everyone else here has said, there isn't a single solution to this, but can I suggest one component of the answer? Wait for it - we need to get out and walk around a bit more. I honestly believe that a key element of what makes for a cohesive, happy and safe community is simply being with neighbours and strangers in public space. "In public" is the only place where we tend to mix with people who are completely different from us, except that they're our neighbours. As a result we find our own ideas of what is normal, acceptable behaviour moderated by the people around us. Polly Dorner had her stereotypes challenged by seeing adults and children interacting - in public. Kids nick each other's mobile phones - in public. Kids operate as gangs - in public. And what do we honest, upstanding citizens, who could be setting a good example, simply by acting appropriately in public, do? We abandon our streets and spaces as soon as we can afford a car. Then, as we use public space less and less, we become more and more fearful of it and each other. Doctors are now prescribing walking to reduce depression - one of the key benefits of this is increased self-esteem and confidence. We should be prescribing walking to everyone who's concerned about community breakdown. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust says "busy streets are safe streets". Make your streets safer - walk them. Set a good example - just spend more time in public. (Those of you who've read any of my other posts will think I'm a bit of an urban walking monomaniac - you'd be right).

What about Greenwood's, just off Leicester Sq? Veggie, so no problem re. halal meat, and it's good value too. Their breads are ace, especially bhatura.