mrsS

Father-bonding therapy would me GREAT but I don't know where (if) they do such a thing? The more time he spends with my son on his own the better he feels, but its difficult when he works full time and long hours. We are on the waiting list for couples therapy with the Maudsleys, but the waiting list is quite long. He has been back to the GP this week and has now been given a different medication to try, so I hope that makes a difference. I'm going to talk to my HV if there is any support for me, otherwise I will just end up taking my anger and frustration out on my husband which really isn't helping anyone. x

Thank you all who have sent messages and replied to my thread, I will reply to you all when my little one is in bed this evening x

Our son was born 7 months ago and my husband was deeply traumatised by the difficult labour and was diagnosed with post natal depression when our son was four days old. Since then he has been on medication and has therapy every week. Things have improved, he could not even hold our son in first month, but now he has taken him out a few times on his own during the weekends and we have had periods when everything has been ok. At the same time we are getting set backs which is usually triggered by my sons crying and the feeling that he can't fix it. He freaks out and becomes very depressed, says that we would be better of without him. Its a very stressful situation for both of us and I am just so fed up with the constant arguments, and the fact that I can't help him. It's also been hard on me as I he has not been able to give me any emotional support since my son was born. I've felt completely alone with it all. PND is an awful thing to go through as a family and I sometimes feel that it is even harder when it's the dad who got it, as there is no support out there, no one talks about it, and a lot of people don't believe that it can happen as PND is perceived to be caused by hormonal changes. Is there anyone here who's been through it? I would be most grateful for any suggestions, or stories of happy endings....anything, we are getting a bit desperate!

Wow, huge congratulations Sally! Such happy news! Looking forward to meet all of you when you are ready :) The Duck Egg Cafe sounds good to me. I know this is just the beginning but this pregnancy insomnia is really starting to get to me, I seem to not be able to hold down a conversation anymore...how am I going to cope when the real work starts? Anyway, huge congratulations again Sally and looking forward to see some of you on Friday. xx

pommie, I am glad you got help and hope that you will feel better soon, in my experience antidepressants take the worst of depression/anxiety away and allows me to do other things that increases my well being, such as eating right, spending time outside, meeting up with friends, exercising and so on. littlebelka, I am sorry that you felt manipulated but glad that you found different ways to deal with your depression. For some people, including myself and also my sister who had severe depression and post partum psychosis, medication (in my case sertraline) was a lifesaver. I can live with having a dry mouth, which is the only side effect I have experienced, but I can't live a functioning life if I am constantly thinking morbid thoughts and having panic attacks. I've never felt pressured to take medication and I am sorry to hear that you had a different experience.

Jen, I'd be up for that. Weekend or evening both works for me. I can do the 24th of March...

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who wrote to me on this thread and sent PMs. I have now been taking medication for 11 days and I feel better already, I have started to be able to enjoy the little things in life such as buying baby clothes and enjoying a piece of cake. I sleep better and am able to do things. The future is not looking pitch dark any longer and I have not had a panic attack for at least five days. Thank you so much for all your support, this forum is truly amazing!

Saffron, you are full of knowledge - thank you so much for sharing! I will definitely ask to have those tests. I started sertraline on Thursday morning and I feel a little bit better already. I think just being listened to and given help made me feel a little bit less trapped. I definitely agree with you, sometimes we need help to get better and to get through things. I considered asking for help last year as I was suffering so badly with AWFUL pmt - I would suffer from intrusive OCD-like thoughts two weeks before my period and then feel a 100 times better as soon as my period started. But I just about coped so did not want to start medication. I wonder if a deficiency could be the cause of that. Thank you again for everything Sx

Pickle - oh I might take you up on that. I'm a slow learner though...

I'm also trying to learn how to knit. My husband has taught me the basics, but I need someone 'professional' to teach me how to undo things, as when I make a mistake how to correct it without needing to get rid of several rows! I'll look in to that place in Herne Hill.

Thank you all. It will probably take some time for the medicine to kick in and I feel absolutely terrible in the mornings, but just knowing that it will get better helps, makes me feel less trapped! tomo - thanks for the links, I listened to the radio program and what they talked about felt hugely familiar. I am so glad they have started that charity, I think more awareness needs to be raised.

I was there and saw the victim reporting it to the security guard, also I heard her saying that she wanted to speak to the manager so I would be very surprised if it never got reported to management.

Thank you all. I too hope that the medication will start working soon. Just getting help this morning made things feel a little bit easier. The NHS is brilliant and something I seldom complain about, but when it comes to the mental health side of things some doctors really need more training or change in attitude... Sx

Finally I got help this morning by my lovely GP who has helped me in the past. She asked me a couple of questions and it did not take long at all for her to suggest antidepressants. She was so lovely and emphatic and agreed that I should not have to wait any longer. She also said that I am past the crucial stage so that the medicine will not affect the baby. I'm just waiting for the pharmacy to open now and then I will go to collect the sertraline that she prescribed. Thank you so much ladies for all your wonderful support, knowledge and input. And thank god there are some doctors out there who take these things seriously.

midivydale - touched by your kind words! You being angry helps me! Belle - I know. I think of all the women who might have very little experience of this sort of thing or very little support. How far does it need to go until you get the right help? My sister suffered post partum psychosis and was sectioned and hospitalised for a month after the birth of her second child so I definitely know how bad it can get... The fact that the GP today did not ask me a single question is scary. I might complain when I have the energy. And I might give MIND a call tomorrow. hellosailor - so am I, I asked her if there is a policy stopping GP's from prescribing/taking action and she said there wasn't but that she wouldn't do it anyway because of the lack of continuity...

bjm - thank you I will do!

I have just got back from the GP, not the same doctor as I saw the last time as she is not there. She refused to prescribe and did not ask one single question. Said that I needed to go back to the gp that I saw last week as she 'obviously thought' that I did not need it. I told her that I could not cope and she just looked at me, said nothing and looked very bored. I find it strange, having worked in mental health myself that she did not ask any questions. I told her that I could not cope and she seemed to not want to know about it. Anyway...one a more positive note, I did manage to get an appointment for tomorrow morning with the doctor that I normally see. She is so lovely and empathic so I am hoping that she will help me, she always has in the past.

Last week I saw a doctor that I'd never met before, as the doctor that I normally see was on leave. I hope she will be there tomorrow because she is fantastic and so supportive. She even found online support-groups for me when I was struggling with PTSD. Fingers crossed that she'll be there tomorrow.

Thank you Saffron. I've now heard back from the midwife and I've got an appointment with the perinatal team 21st March. Too long for me to wait so my husband and I have decided to go back to my GP tomorrow or A&E (if GP refuses to prescribe) and demand medication.

Working mummy: You are absolutely right about that. I will remember that. Lochie: Thank you, I've tried to get an appointment at my GP today but they are closed for staff training. I'm also trying to get hold of my midwife again but they must be busy as no one is getting back to me. I'd feel much calmer if I knew when I'm likely to see someone from the perinatal team. Saffron: Thank you I will do that. I think it's a bit strange that it takes so long to get help with depression in pregnancy. I understand that is's not that simple, but last time I was depressed all I needed was an appointment with my GP who was so understanding and lovely. I've not been able to see her this time as she is on leave. The GP I saw last week was nice but it really did feel like she did not want to deal with the issue. The feeling of impending doom is over me all the time and it's absolutely awful.

Pugwash - good idea, will look into that. Belle - thank you. I think I'll try to get an appointment for tomorrow and bring my husband along. I will do my best to be strong and not give in. Its hard though when they are the experts, specially when both my go and the psychiatrist I saw seemed so unsure about medication and pregnancy.

I have taken up knitting and wonder if there are any local knitting groups? My hasband has taught me the basic and we watch you tube clips when we get stuck, but it would be great to join a group where help might be available...

Saffron, if I had the money I'd definitely pay ?500 to see a psychiatrist privately. I still have not got any appointment confirmed with the perinatal team, I spoke to my midwife again today and she said that she would get back to me when she had more information. My husband wants me to go back to my gp tomorrow and ask for sertaline (a drug that is apparently quite often prescribed to pregnant women). Not sure what to do though, I got the impression that she wouldn't prescribe anything without talking to the perinatal team first. I am aware that I need to be patient, but it's easier said than done.

Wrote that in a bit of a rush, apologies for all the spelling mistakes :/

I think the psychiatrist I saw on Friday evening was quite inexperience, or I might be wrong but she seemed very unsure about the whole thing. She asked me a couple of questions but did not give me a questionnaire, I know what questionnaire you mean though, have filled out several of them in the past. I have not spoken to my midwife during the weekend but I will call her tomorrow. She said that I will hopefully get an appointment with the perinatal team at the end of next week. This might sound odd but I'm not sure that I would want CBT or any other therapy at this point without taking medication. I just feel too raw at the moment. The last time I had CBT was at the Maudsley's for post traumatic stress disorder (caused by having been in a domestic abusive relationship in my early 20s) and I experienced the therapist as quite pushy as I was asked to relive some of my most traumatic memories. At that point CBT was not the right thing for me, and to be honest it did scare me off! Agin...thank you so much for all your support, to all of you who have written on this forum and sent me messages. You have no idea how much you have helped me, it does make me feel a little bit more hopeful.