I'm not a parent so may not be 'qualified' to comment but if your daughter is scared at what happend to you then you are right to do what you have done. As for him 'blaming' you for getting cancer and messing everything up - my ex said a similar thing to me after we broke up, when he was having counselling. I had apparently ruined his life by having an ongoing medical problem, a liver transplant and surgery for bowel cancer. But him not coping with it is his problem, and in turn your husband's problem, - not yours, not mine For the record we are now friends who meet occasionally for dinner, so counselling and life can get people through it, but I feel you should not expose your daughter to this kind of experience. If you are worried about him are there friends of his you can ask to help out?