Muttley

Quaywe, just wait till you hear my other Dragon's Den beater - I'd set up a shoe shop, but (and here's the killer punch) DON'T PUT ANY shoes on display and keep the prices out of sight. People still numbed by their city bonuses come in to see what it's all about and before they know what's hit them, I've slipped a pair on their feet and stung them for ?300. All I need to do is find an empty shop somewhere trendy, I don't know, maybe North Cross Road?

I think there might be an idea here for a new restaurant.

I wonder if we can introduce a by-law that will overturn government policy and permit fox-hunting in SE22. Judging from the racket outside at about 2am last night, I think it's the mating season again. Either that, or the East Dulwich strangler is on the prowl.

I've got an idea for a new Lordship Lane shop. The shop would sell only two things: houses and flats. To attract buyers, I'd put photos of the aforementioned properties in the window, and underneath each photo I would put a number between 2 and 9, followed by a large number of zeroes. I'm confident that hundreds of passers by would be magnetically drawn to my window display, and I'd only need a few of them to actually step inside. Frankly I don't think it can fail. I'm surprised nobody has thought of it before.

I don't think that the main William Rose space was ever the model railway shop, though as you say he had a window display there. The shop itself sold pine furniture, but the market for that sort of furniture shop died with the Ikea invasion. Next came the double-glazing shop with the cow on the roof, and the lingerie shop - possibly East Dulwich's most ill-fated retail idea of all time given those huge windows - before sanity finally returned with the butcher. But I still want a model railway shop. Maybe Miss Haversham next to the butchers would oblige. Something for the customers to look at while they queue.

Beverley Craven recorded 'Promise me' while living in a flat halfway up Crystal Palace Road. OK, not rock and roll, but she added a bit of class to Top of the Pops.

Anyone remember the short-lived model railway shop? It was run by the brother of Holman the electrician, who had a shop somewhere near Franklins. The model railway shop was tucked round the back of the business centre behind what is now the butcher. My brother went there once. Maybe he was the only ever customer.

Remember Sound and Vision in the 90s? That's the last CD shop I can remember on Lordship Lane. They never seemed to have much stock, and it was only there a few years.

Best bits: Photogenic - the view of Goose Green from Lordship Lane roundabout Cultural - the sense of community created by Lordship Lane, a street where shops like A J Farmer can still survive alongside excellent restaurants like Franklins. Worst bits: The fact that in recent years Lordship Lane lost two of its most important cultural features, the ED Comedy and Cinema Paradiso. When those two disappeared, it was a sign that the area had lost part of its soul. One of these days, maybe one of the pubs will realise that there's an awful lot of goodwill to be had by being the comedy pub. No doubt profit has been the sole factor in all this.

I've used Forest Hill Road surgery ever since moving to East Dulwich many moons ago. On the whole I like it, though there are a couple of doctors there (I won't name them, as that would be unfair in this forum) whom I now avoid and who have been unpopular with friends too. My favourite of the GPs is part-time, so I have to plan my illnesses weeks in advance to be sure I get an appointment. The Oakwood midwives are based there, they are outstanding.

One Icon of East Dulwich (and environs) 2006/7, is the fleet of red transit vans with the hand-painted ?15 per hour sign that are dotted around the area. One seems to live on Lordship Lane, one on Goose Green, one near Camberwell Green...in fact it's possible to do a journey into town and see four or five of them, and the first time this happens, you do a double take and think "hey, that van is stalking me". Has anyone ever actually seen one of them move?

Mikewbate I think I'm with you, TJ has always had a reputation as a hard worker, but in the end I do think there are more cons than pros in having a minister as an MP. Compare her Dulwich profile with the that of, say, backbencher Chris Bryant at www.chrisbryantmp.com . (Mind you, Chris does seem to have one, er, infamous photo conspicuously absent from his gallery.)

I heard Tessa Jowell on the radio this morning talking about schools in her constituency, which reminded me that I've seen almost nothing of our invisible MP in recent years, except on TV of course. When's the last time anyone spotted her in East Dulwich? The local party office used to be in Grove Vale, but I don't recall seeing the sign there for years. Have they relocated to somewhere more convenient (i.e. Islington)?

Dear Elizabeth, Mrs Muttley says she would like swiss ball classes where the class size is kept quite small (i.e. no more than 8 people) so you can get more personal attention.

The one next to the butchers has been empty for decades. Used to be a dress shop or something, I believe the woman who ran it is still upstairs. A touch of the Miss Havershams, perhaps.

When it first came out, SE22's rumour section was a must-read. Sadly that section lost credibility when it continued to tout the M&S urban myth, and now I get all my rumours from here - as does the magazine, I suspect. Meanwhile, what will fill the pages when the serialisation of John Beasley's East Dulwich history classic comes to an end? (I've already got the book, but I won't spoil it for you by giving away the ending. Except to say that nobody dies.)

Desmonds was filmed in Bellenden road - the barber shop there got renamed 'Desmonds' after the series finished I think. don't know if it's still there. I believe one of the Tango ads (with Ray Wilkins commentating?) was filmed by the lake in Dulwich park. I saw Jamie Oliver filming outside East Dulwich Police Station a couple of years back. And I think Gareth Gates (remember him?) might have done his driving lessons on film around East Dulwich Road/Peckham Rye (I spotted the Burnet Ware & Graves shopfront as it flashed by). There was a sitcom with a cricket match where some scenes were filmed at one of the grounds on Gallery Road.