James

Good point Bob. I think Jah secretly wants to wear sarongs and paint his nails. It's all right Jah, I will support you in this!

i want to know what a Dutch Oven is! Jah Lush, I am confused! Wearing moisturiser is narcissistic, as is wearing aftershave. Unless someone buys it for you. "Camping it up" is acceptable though. Um....why?

(Resisting urge to continue Carry On-style banter) Have to admit, the "metrosexual" is a marketeer's dream. But I really do think there's some truth in it. These days if you go into a gay bar the men are mostly unshaven, in baggy clothes and punky/raffish hairstyles. Whereas the straight men often look tanned, dapper and immaculate, not a hair out of place.

Was the cushion a bolster?

Boys, boys. As any sane woman will tell you, looking after yourself is a must these days. Moisturiser is essential. As is removing, ahem, excess hair. But I draw the line at moisturiser with fake tan in it, that is too gay even for me.

Quite right! Any man who uses moisturiser or is a bit trendy is obviously gay. Next week: should women be allowed to vote?

How did you know they were gay? They may have been metrosexual.

You've done this before, haven't you?

Yes of course! Maybe a quick one in Green & Blue as well.

Ugh!!! The thought of the bogs in Fire just turned my stomach... Anyroad, yes, hands up, I suppose I am guilty of generalising a bit. I don't go to most of those Vauxhall places cos as far as I know they are full of sex-obsessed crystal meth-addicted clones. Maybe I'm just getting old but I'd rather have a nice drink/meal with my bloke before getting back to my (tidy) flat at a reasonable hour.

Wrong! I can only recall having sat on the chairs... is there a lecherous gay man who sits there ogling indie boys all night then?

So there is a fit Polish bloke in Green & Blue? I will have to have a look. Good-looking indie blokes in inside 72 sometimes as well.

My journalist brother-in-law was recently interviewed on TV as he has just invented the term "heteropolitan" to describe the post-metro 30s male. Seriously.

Point taken Keef. Years ago I was in a relationship with a woman and I can honestly say that nearly all the men I've been out with since are cleaner and tidier than her (she always looked stylish & immaculate, to look at her you wouldn't believe how much mess she could create).

Sorry, no offence intended to nice clean hetero males of the non-metrosexual variety (i.e. the ones who don't wear pink, use Clinique and frequent tanning salons). I know a few myself. I'm just puzzled by this sort of "oh well, we're all boys together so let's wallow in each other's filth" attitude. Not pleasant, surely?

Um, could it double as a decent vegetarian restaurant? It's about time we had one here.

Exactly! I'm sure their girlfriends/wives would go ape. "Sorry love, couldn't be arsed to lift the seat so I just weed all over it." Surely there would be a Lorena Bobbit situation?

Why is it that male-only spaces (toilets, gym changing rooms) always have to be so disgusting? As usual my gym changing rooms (in the city) were squalid today. Someone had urinated all over the loo seat, there were revolting bits of "bum fluff" and pubes all over the shower floor and gross used sweat tissues strewn about. Since it seems to be frequented mostly by posh lawyer types I ask myself what is it that makes men have to be so disgusting when in an "all-male" space. Personally I find it utterly gross. Am I conforming to gay stereotypes or are there any meterosexuals who agree? And is it all/most blokes doing this or are their a hard core of dirty little so-and-so's?

There's that one in Honor Oak park where Queen Elizabeth 1 was supposed to have stopped for a rest. Strictly speaking it's not East Dulwich though

I suppose the problem is it's a matter of judgment, and we all have different boundaries. I recall one night of hell at my favourite South London restaurant. I took my boyfriend out for a meal which was completely ruined by the riotous kids of a table of beardy intellectuals (& that was just the women) nearby. The kids were literally running from one end of the restaurant to the other, yelping and screaming. At one point one of the men grabbed one of them - we thought for a telling-off - but instead turned him upside-down and playfully spun him around. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. We were tempted to intervene but couldn't face a row on what was supposed to be a nice quiet meal. It totally ruined the evening.

I reckon Nero's clild/adult segregation is a bit strong! One thing I admire about some other European countries is how child-friendly they are compared with the UK. However, I sympathise totally with "Shambles". For me, it's not about banning kids from these places (there are plenty of adults only pubs after all). It's about parents making sure they behave! And no Bob, I don't think people should be allowing their kids to "run around and scream." For goodness sake, if you have kids (as I do) enjoy them but do not impose their behaviour on other paying punters around you! Teach them some respect for others. I've always taken my son to restaurants, pubs etc. since he was a toddler but he was made to behave appropriately and respectfully of others. As far as I'm concerned, these middle class idiots who let their kids run riot so as not to "stifle their creativity" or whatever are just as bad as that hoodie on the bus listening to his music out loud.

Was only being silly and flippant ;-) My best female friend is into disused tube stations and local history. Plus she has an encyclopaedic knowledge of 70s funk. Seriously. Personally, I like Mean Girls.

All this chav-baiting (I admit, I have been doing it too) made me feel like shattering a few stereotypes... True story A few weeks ago we were awoken in the small hours to hear intruders in the bulding site next to our flat. We saw several hoodie-clad figures shining torches on neighbouring houses & clambouring about looking suspicious. We called the police, who apprehended them. They turned out to be middle-class indie kids resembling the front row of a Muse concert. Apparently they had dared each other to do pull-ups on the building site after a night of drinking. I hope mummy will keep her sherry safely locked away in future.

i've just been reading about how people have been terrorised by gangs of youths on the neighbouring estate - who the South London Press eventually named and shamed. Nice!

Thanks for the advice Ko, will have a look at the website for that place in Forest Hill