derbyean

1000 hooray! I have almost come to the end of my bucket of fat balls, according to the experts we are supposed to feed the birds all through the year now.

If you only pay peanuts you'll only get monkeys! What makes you think that any resident's will want ED 'showcased' thus encouraging more of the like's of you. Shove off and take you video camera with you, until you find some deeper pockets. Cheap-skate potless no-hopers. Expecting people to work for free suggests you have a brass neck and a ruddy gaul.

It is Quaverflava's only post................

One can buy a whole carcass from Smithfield if you get up early in the morning 7am is too late. You will need a large chest freezer, about a hundred polythene zip bags, a boning knife, a hacksaw, and a steel. Smoking meat is all very well at the bottom of the garden but neighbours don't usually care for the odour of strange smelling stuff for eight or twelve hours at a go. It's relatively straight forward to build yourself a smoker with a few loose bricks and a couple of old oven shelves, but if you are in close proximity of your down-wind neighbours, then it's a non-starter. The morning you buy the carcass you will need the rest of the day off to butcher, bag, label, and date it. If you buy beef buy one fore quarter and one hind quarter, but unless you have the largest of chest freezers one quarter will fill it, or share 1/2 with friends. It is handy to know someone with a few big hungry dogs to give the uncooked bones to chew. You will also end up with twenty odd pounds of fat or suet that you will have to deal with, you can render it in the oven and fill a hundred coconuts for the tits. Best of luck.

There should be a bag large enough to drop in the owners who don't clean up!

I was in the pool between 3 and 4pm the grumpy hour and the pool staff didn't think one could see a length end to end clearly. Today one couldn't see across a width clearly. The technician (Dave) for water clarity is usually based at the Pulse, it seems he hates travelling all the way to ED. Come on Dave get your act together and take a swim on Thursday between 3 and 4pm, if you cannot keep the water clean with the latest filtration equipment money can buy then something is seriously wrong with the installation!

Does anyone on here actually read these execrable shitmags that you openly & shamelessly tout for ? Come on huncamunca tell it straight, don't wrap it up, stick it to 'em good.

I saw a golden eagle in Scotland whilst commuting on my bike during the sixties, the only one I have ever seen, it was resting on a telegraph pole, and when we looked over the brow of the hill and it came into view, it wasted no time leaving it's perch and flew from sight.

Sadly all the subtle hints women use like flicking your hair with your fingers is just wasted energy, it is totally lost on the male of the species. Unless you are actually dragging him into your lair of sexual torment....... by his willy, he just won't get it, and neither will you!:))

'all really funny stuff but can anyone help' wrote emc. She will have to risk getting wrinkly finger tips by hanging around in the pool until the knight in shining armour appears, but all this will come to nought unless she takes the initiative by speaking to him. Ask him "can you still do it, or am I wasting my time"? If he asks 'do what'? Take his head with your left hand, pull him in close by his buttocks with your right, so you are now pressing against his groin and stick your tongue down his throat. If he protests saying 'what do you think you are doing I am a married man' say "sorry my mistake, I thought you looked familiar, you reminded me of a good looking (emphasise the 'good looking' because we all like praise) stud I once knew"! Then ask "have you a single twin brother who can still do it"? If the answer is 'no' say "then stop trying it on with an innocent woman half your age" ...... .....and swim away from the useless, time wasting, no hope, toss-pot! Meanwhile whilst you're there, just look around for a possible substitute whom you might hone your new found snogging skills on!

Hi pebbles, I believed 100% in my marriage too......

Ken's does good fish and chips (for take away only).

Perhaps if the signs saying 'shower before entering the pool' were larger and the staff could be bothered to enforce it, this may help the condition of the water. Ensuring all school children emptied their bladder prior to emersing themselves that might help too.

The black thorn is flowering, they have white blossom and a large example in Barry rd which always suggests that spring is here.

The divorce rate is rising, and marriage is no longer for life, many are marrying or 'shacking up' together for a second or third time, a vasectomy seems very permanent, frequently it cannot be reversed - damaged during the initial op.

Does anyone else using the pool consider the water to be rather murky for such a new installation? When a pool is clean you can clearly see through the length underwater from end to end. I have had difficulty seeing across the width the last two visits. Am I being picky? what are your thoughts on the clarity and cleanliness of the water? I find the water in the pool at the pulse better maintained.

My daughters were given porridge for breakfast during exams, so they didn't get distracted by 'hunger knock'.

The dollar, the pound, and the euro will drop in value.

I have a Dell and has run without fault for four years, then a virus did it in, so I had to have another hard drive. That has made it much faster and almost silent running again for about a hundred and twenty quid. I paid a company to do it.

Frequently the advertiser's have several names, each of whom landed a big account then promptly upped and left the original firm to enter another advertising agency obtaining a partnership, so they all have names like 'Whipit, Gerritt, Teckit,and Shuvit' or "Theevage, Snaffler, Plundahs and Scarper". They really deserve each other.

Pretend to have a massive cramp attack in your toes. wrote PGC........it may be more interesting if you say "I've had a massive cramp attack in my groin and can he rub it better for an hour or so, or do you have to rush back to your wife and brood? "Heyyyyy....what floats your boat.....big boy"! Might be a rewarding opening gambit. It is no good being subtle, unless you thrust your hand down the front of his bather's and leer at him with your tongue out or something almost as obvious, most men just don't get it. Tell her (your friend) all men worthy of that name are an easy lay, now get to it.....or the back o' my hand! We would all like a detailed 'pulling' report, that would encourage all the other shrinking violets to chance their arm!