SarahLP

Problem is every baby and Mum is different, so apart from the real essentials - vests, sleepsuits, muslins - it will vary enormously and you only find out by trying. So try to borrow from friends or get stuff second-hand. If you haven't already got one and can afford it, definitely get a cleaner. Hugely improves quality of life.

Ruth - my hubby and I also have fantasies about moving to Scotland,, but neither of our families are Scottish, so unlikely we'll ever do it! I reckon if you went for Edinburgh itself not driving unlikely to be a problem - the centre is so small everything is walkable, and if you are a bit further out, eg Leith, bus services seem very good. On the driving issue, I have a licence but hadn't driven for years until baby came along 8 months ago. Now drive several times a week locally (used the rationale to myself that traffic is so bad around here you're never going to have a serious accident, just the odd prang). And due to my sister being very sick in hospital a two-hour drive away also forced into doing longer drives which I hated but managed and felt v proud of myself! So if you think it would make a difference to your quality of life, worth giving it a go. The more you do it the easier it gets, and makes you feel much more independent.

I am in almost exactly same situation as you, Radnrach. My son is now 7.5 months old and I am going back to work in 5 weeks' time and dreading it. I imagined by this stage I would be crawling up the walls with boredom and desperate to get back to work, but am loving being a mum! My husband is also self-employed and I am the main earner. We can't afford for me to go part-time. However, don't forget you accrue holiday while on mat leave. My boss has agreed I can use the accrued leave to take off one day a week for the first 4 months, which I think will help a lot. I would also recommend a discussion with your husband regarding what he might be able to take on. I tried suggesting mine did a day of childcare a week, but he has a big project on at the moment, so it didn't go down very well! However, he will be doing all the pick-ups from the childminder (I will do drop-offs as it's on the way to the station anyway), and has also agreed that if there are problems with childminder/baby being sick he will step in, since he can be flexible. His project should finish around the time my one day off a week arrangement ends, so am planning on revisiting the discussion in a couple of months' time. All my friends who've gone back to work have managed eventually to find the right balance, so hopefully we will too. Good luck!

You are not being premature for nurseries, but you are for childminders! I've had the decision made for me by leaving it far too late, so going with a childminder. I started looking for one three months before return to work (I also already had my name down at a nursery, but they won't have a place in time), but of course they all wanted to fill their vacancies asap, so you either have to pay for the place while not using it, or wait until the last minute to look which is a bit hair-raising. Luckily I managed to find one I liked who was already looking after a child who turns one just when I want my baby (who will be nearly 9 months) to start, so working out OK. (Childminders can only have 1 child under one at a time.) Personally I think nurseries are maybe a little bit hectic for tiny ones (though could just be trying to convince myself!). However, I do think it helps children develop if they spend time with other children. Quite a few of the childminders seem to get together and work 2 childminders together, often with an assistant as well, so they may have, say 6-8 kids between them which I think is quite a nice compromise. Also, generally a good childminder is cheaper than a good nursery. However, childminders can get sick and then you are stuck. Again, I'm lucky on this point as my husband is self-employed so flexible enough to step in at the last minute if need be. Legally childminders are entitled to 4 paid weeks of holiday a year - ie you carry on paying them, but they are not looking after your child. Obviously they have to give you decent notice of when they will be away. I would advise looking around nurseries asap and putting your name down at a couple you like. Then nearer the time, say 2-3 months before you are going back, you can still look at some childminders and see if you like them better - you haven't lost anything. To find childminders, phone the family information service of your local borough - Southwark if you are in SE22 - and ask them to send you the list of childminders with vacancies. If you are on the border of two boroughs get the list for both to widen your options. Eg I am in Nunhead, so I phoned both Southwark and Lewisham. You can also register on Childcare.co.uk and look up profiles of childminders, nannies and babysitters, but to actually contact them you have to pay a registration fee which is ?20 for 3 months, or ?40 for 12. Both nurseries and childminders vary enormously, so worth looking at quite a few. You say you are organized, so have probably thought of this, but I would take a checklist of questions, and try to ask the same questions at each place for ease of comparison. Also, try not to get too hung up on ofsted grades, especially for childminders. Most important thing is that they meet YOUR criteria and you feel as ok as you can about leaving your precious child with them. Good luck!

If budget a consideration, worth deciding which pram you want then trying to buy a good quality secondhand one. They get superficially bashed up fairly quickly anyway, esp if you are carrying up and down stairs a lot. I started off buying everything new, especially as both my mother and mil wanted to help out (first grandchild on both sides), but 7 months after birth ebay is my new best friend.

Programme of activities is here, but only for Jan and Feb: http://www.ivydale.southwark.sch.uk/childrenscentre_detail.asp?Section=23&Ref=176 Looks as if they have drop in on Friday afternoons as well. I have never actually been, due to lack of organization! Sarah

As with everything related to pregnancy, birth and babies, I think it varies massively from person to person, so really important to try not to beat yourself up. I was one of the maddening people who was back in my pre-preg clothes 3 weeks after giving birth, which I know the rest of my NCT group found irritating. However, to balance it out my baby cried way more than any of theirs in the first few weeks, which I found difficult to cope with at times. Everyone's experience is different, it's impossible to generalize. If you are breastfeeding I would say important to eat as your appetite dictates, but try to choose healthy stuff with the odd treat, rather than the other way around! On the exercise front, again depends on how you feel. I was unprepared for how physically exhausting giving birth was, and I think it can take quite a while to recover energy levels, especially when you add in lack of sleep. In response to jollybaby, one of my friends only stopped wearing her maternity jeans when she went back to work a year after giving birth because she found them so comfortable!

I got a concord spin because it folds up very small and I liked the way it looks, but I never acutally bother folding it up, it's fiddly to clean, there is no lip on the tray so finger food goes straight on the floor and it was pretty expensive. I would second tripp trapp if going expensive, friends who have them love them, they look great and are long lasting. Otherwise go for the cheap Ikea option as previously suggested.

I didn't do it with mine, but a few of my friends did baby massage with little babies and enjoyed it. Can then also do at home. Also there is a baby sensory thing at Brockly and Forest Hill which I have just started going to with my six-month old, but advertised as suitable from birth. It's pretty good, with singing and different activities every week. Not particularly cheap, though, ?70 for a 10-week block, you can do a no-obligation trial for ?7. http://www.babysensory.com/en/ClassDetails.aspx?id=33 I walked around with pram a lot as moved house 2 weeks before birth - so was a good way to get to know new area! Sarah

I had a baby with the Lanes six months ago, and also had a great experience. I ended up having to be induced 2 weeks early, so was at King's, and my own midwife was on holiday at the time, but I had already met the two midwives who attended me a couple of times and they were both fantastic. I would strongly advise going to their 'meet the midwives' in case you do end up in a situation where for whatever reason 'your' midwife can't be there. I found the few weeks after the birth really quite difficult, was very emotional, and someone came to seem me every other day for the first couple of weeks, then two to to three times a week with phonecalls in between as I started to gain confidence. They won't sign you off until they're sure you are able to cope. I have two friends who had home births with the Brierly who can't praise them enough. I'd also like to put in a word for the King's midwives. I was on the ward for nearly two days while the induction was happening, which wasn't pleasant, but all the midwives I came across were very kind and caring. I would say community midwife is ideal, but if you do end up with King's midwives don't assume you will have a bad experience. They are really busy, and will change as the shifts change, but I believe most of them are both caring and professional and will do their very best for you. Congratulations and good luck to all the expectant mothers! Sarah