littleEDfamily

I am laughing a lot and having to try and explain to my 3 year old (quite unsuccessfully) why!

apenn... was this really worth starting a thread over? Was it, really.... I mean come on.....! KIDDING!!! (You're so right, by the way):) I know people who live no where near Dulwich who are addicts!

I do know what you mean. We seem to be able to cope with one at private school, but when there are two (or more - but not for me) of school-going age it's going to be a different story. Already spending a silly amount of time finding places to move to (we are planning on moving out of London at some point anyway) that would give a half decent chance of getting into an exceptional state secondary. I have a theory that if you get the early years right, you can 'make do' a whole lot better later on, but we shall see...... I agree that for a large part of of the population, private school just isn't an option. The people that cheese me off are those who probably could afford it, but get all superior about sending their kids to state schools (yet all the while spoiling them grossly with 'stuff') Humpf! Rant over.....and sorry for going off topic.

Just to say, there's still ample space for 3 year olds on Wednesday afternoons!

sillywoman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No, no not meant to be sarky or facetious. Sorry > if my post came across that way. And can see how > it could be interpreted like that. I really did > just mean that it all sounded so stressful from so > early on that it made me appreciate how > straightforward & unpressured my options were. I'm probably a bit over-sensitive.....just felt like standing up for private school parents who sometimes get vilified (along with their kids!). Some of us are nice and down to earth, really! Everything to do with childcare and education seems so pressured nowadays, what with being unable to even get a place in local nurseries until your child is about to start driving, or your first choice of state primary school unless you live in the school grounds, it seems a bit of a drama for everyone......

Thanks - and yes, agreed, we all said it would go from being a thriving group to an under-attended waste of resources! Such a shame.......

Not sure how exactly to interpret your comments, sillywoman, but they come across as a bit snarky (I apologise in advance if I have misinterpreted). Many parents who choose private school do so at the sacrifice of other things they might desire (including bigger houses, more children, and nicer more frequent holidays etc etc) that others choose not to (comparing those of similar financial status here obviously - I'm not suggesting everyone can afford private school even if they forgo these things). It's perfectly reasonable for people to reflect whatever values they may have in such a way and to want to get it right from the start. As we all know, the option of a quality primary school for all children in East Dulwich is far from a 'given', and I imagine many parents, who might otherwise have been quite comfortable with a state school are being 'forced' into private schooling their child(ren) and making whatever sacrifices are needed to do so.

One thing I don't think anyone else has mentioned about the 'internal' scan is that they put a condom on the probe and loads of lubricant on it. It's juvenile of me, but that bit always makes me giggle. (But it's totally fine - not painful at all, and I think worth it). I have found the sonographers great (from every corner of the globe), with the exception of one or two, who needed a bit of warming up. I ask loads of questions, and they seem to be very happy to indulge me. The ladies on reception can be a bit scary, so be on time and make sure you fill in your form properly.

I'll mention to Jean or someone there that it would be useful to add something to the application form about how you should find out if you have been accepted for future courses. By the way, I also asked what the criteria where, and the person said (paraphrased) 1. Proximity to the centre 2. Degree of need (which I guess, without understanding what constitutes 'need' is quite subjective (but prob in the realm of 'special needs', on the part of parent or child) and 3. How much you've used it before (ie they prioritised new people). Anyway, it would be great to have a few more 3 year olds to play with, so call the centre and get on the list!

I called to follow up on my application, and it sounds like people only got a call if they had been accepted (which I thought was a bit rough - nice to know one way or the other). Personally, I never got a call to say 'yes' though, but to be fair I was overseas at the time. I'm not sure how the other ages' sessions are going, but it is disappointing to see the 3 year olds under-subscribed (ie people with a place) and even fewer turning up on a weekly basis. There were 5 of us last week! Even some of the kids are commenting on where everyone has gone :-(

Emphatically no! I wouldn't even try it. Jean is sticking to the new rules to the letter! It's now by age group on different days and strictly by allocated places only. The format has changed a bit too. After all the hoo-hah, we were lucky enough to be offered a place in the 3 year old session and we are really enjoying it. (By the way there are spaces in the 3 year old Wed PM session even though we are SE22, but it's much more structured than it was so may not be your cup of tea if you're after more of a playgroup feel - it's def more of a course now).

I would favour a), but just be matter of fact about it and say the in an email (get something in writing) that you chose this nursery because they stated a space would be available for Number 2 as required, so you would be very disappointed if they have since altered their stance. Then just ask how much of a deposit they require to secure Number 2's spot for July (which would be deducted from her first month's fees), and then when you see them act like it's a done deal. If they resist, I would ask politely if there is an area manager you could speak to, and then really press the idea about the verbal contract and play a bit hardball. I can understand nurseries are a business like any other, but changing their tune to the extent that people feel they are pressured into returning to work before they're ready is totally unfair!! It may be slightly different if there were genuinely no places coming up for the foreseeable future, but in this case there IS a place, so they just need to swallow the loss of income for a couple of months IMO!

I've PMed you.

In most (all?) instances, you're not employing your childminder in the same way you employ a nanny, so none of the usual obligations around holidays apply. The fact that they work for multiple families in their own home, pay their own taxes, get their own registrations and insurance etc makes them much more of a contractor than an employee. Like with any contract, you can come to pretty much any arrangement you like, including childminders charging parents for when they are on holiday (most nurseries charge parents when they are closed, after all), but there's still something that feels a bit cheeky about it in my opinion! Having said that, if childminders don't charge you for their holiday time, they would probably just bake the cost into their hourly/ day rate so you'd end up paying anyway. Probably more important to make sure they provide you with maximum notice on their planned holidays so you can co-ordinate yours wherever possible. Jamma Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > YOu're basically employing your childminder, as an > employee he/she's entitled to paid holidays and > bank holidays. If you can make his/her holidays > fit with yours then obviously that's better but if > the minder has more than just your child/children > on their books then that's not necessarily going > to work out is it?

Tee hee - I went through the same feelings in prep for my daughter's 3 birthday (noticed she didn't have that many friends). I decided it is fine at 3, but I would be worried at 4/5. To answer your question, by 2/2.5 she had formed a very close bond with an NCT friend's child (they are obsessed with each other), BUT they had shared a nanny and seen each other on a regular basis since birth AND they just happen to have complementary personalities. I have noticed that our daughter is much more interested in other children that we are bonded to, such as cousins and my close friends' kids (no matter what their age) - maybe they sense there is a connection there (?). I think playdates do have their place, but I've never had much luck in forcing friends on her, and I often find playdates quite stressful! If she is at nursery, she's probably very well socialised, so I wouldn't fret and it's only a year and a half til school by which time she'll definitely start making friends. PS I can't remember having close friends myself until I was around 5.........maybe I am an inherently unlikeable exception, though!

The latest Angels and Urchins magazine (free publication you'll find at places like Jacks) has a whole section on family holidays.....

I agree with Vickster and Mellors - the winddown is essential. And we also did the dummy for sleep only thing, and own cot in own room very early, which worked for us. I also agree with whomever said don't cut down day sleeps in order to get an unbroken night's sleep.... Vickster Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > My nearly two year old sleeps like a dream, and > has done from about 2 months old. Looking back and > trying to pinpoint what this is down to is > difficult, but I think it must be down to the fact > that we are really strict on the nightime routine. > > > Wherever we are, home, holiday, friends/families' > house, we stick to the same routine around the > same time. Winding down from about 6 with slghtly > less entergetic playing, bath at around 6.30, > followed by story and milk and cuddles and singing > (lullabies rather than interactive stuff), then > bed in own cot in a gro-bag (really useful when > outside of familiar environment). My son still has > a dummy but it is not used outside the cot, and > only for dropping off to sleep, it is then > removed. > > I also think a good sleep in the daytime helps > with night sleeping, certainly at toddler age. I > know the compulsion if your child wakes in the > night is to cut down on the daytime sleep, but I > understand that at this age children still need 1 > 1/2 -2 hours sleep during the day. If they wake in > the night, it is unlikely to be linked to the > daytime sleep and cutting down on this will only > cause bedtime issues because they are over tired. > > > Sticking to the bedtime routine might not suit > everyone, as it does mean you have to be party > poopers at the odd family event where children are > still expected to be participating quite late into > the night, and cuts down your eating out options > when on holiday (!), but I think it is a small > price to pay. > > As always, everyone's experiences are difficult, > but this has worked for us.

I think it's about more than postcodes, although I am sure the preference is for SE15 residents over SE22 and beyond. From my conversations with the staff at various times, my understanding was that there was pressure on the group to better reflect, especially the morning sessions, the ethnic and social diversity of the borough. There was also a lot of talk about wanting to encourage 'deprived' parents (as well as those with mental health issues) who are struggling with parenthood to attend. Fine in theory, but in practice, I can see how this is almost impossible to achieve without stigmatising the group and to some extent, patronising those who attend, but I guess we shall see how it all pans out. Thanks, Mellors for trying to get access to the criteria.

I would be very interested in finding out the criteria used to allocate places - surely this is something they should make public? There was nothing on the form that I feel would easily differentiate applicants. Other than asking for the age of the child(ren), our address, our ethnicity and 'what we wanted to get out of Leapers', it was very generic. They've been more than a little cagey about what precisely their 'target market' is - does anyone have the facts on this?

Slightly freaked out, given our proximity to the location, but impressed with xone262's use of top notch cop jargon. PS I googled CO19: http://www.met.police.uk/co19/ xone262 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We were caught right in the middle of this on our > way out to dinner. This was a CO19 operation and > the suspect was apprehended on the corner of > Landcroft Road and Rodwell Road. The suspect was a > male and was shouting abuse as he was pinned down > and watched over by approximately 6-7 plain > clothed CO19 officers fully armed with machine > guns. It looked like the helicopter was tracking > him via infa red as no lights were being used. > There were about 4 or 5 cars on the scene when he > was arrested, but more were circling the immediate > area in pursuit and to block access roads. > > The whole thing seemed to be very professionally > handled and was over very quickly. We just walked > by on the other side of the road while the police > did their thing.

I feel your pain!!!! Our daughter has just started doing it (nearly 3) with great relish. It is foul foul foul, but she loves it more than anything. She stops when we sneak in at night and stick the yucky stuff on (blaming it on the Thumb Sucking Monster), but it's horrible when she forgets she has it on and does it anyway (or inadvertently sticks it in her mouth while eating), ends up spitting everywhere!! Thanks for starting this thread - you've reminded me I need to sort this out pronto. The Thumb Sucking Monster is back on duty.

I'm convinced the whole cows' milk thing is a conspiracy! Most kids get so much calcium through cheese and yoghurt, not to mention milk on cereal and babychinos (and that's if you believe dairy is a good way to get calcium, and there is considerable evidence that it isn't), if you can break the bottle habit without too much drama, I say be done with the milk routine altogether! I agree a bottle definitely helpful as part of the night-time routine, but if you have all the other elements still intact (bath, story etc), it may not be too disruptive to drop one of them. And although I' not qualified to say really, I can't see at 18 months he'd be losing out in any way nutritionally. PS A friend who is a speech pathologist seems to believe continuing with the 'sucking' thing (whether bottle or beaker with soft teat) can have a negative impact on their speech development. I can grill her for details next time I see her.

PS If I were paying to get a nanny registered, I would write something into their contract saying that if they choose to leave in the first year, you'll take the registration charge off their final pay.

Yep, they need to be Ofsted registered to get paid via Childcare Vouchers. You may well be able to get them registered, though (they'll probably expect you to cover the charge which is around ?100 I think). It won't impact how much they get paid at all, but paying by Childcare Vouchers will reduce your childcare bill as you'll be paying a portion of their salary from your gross rather than net salary.

One criticism of Gina that I do find rather unfair is around her not having had her own kids. We all take advice from people who have 'never been through' our situation (doctors in particular!!!), and do I think it's entirely possible to provide sound guidance through professional, rather than personal experience. Perhaps even more so, given their perspective is not 'clouded' by emotion. (Just being devil's advocate here.) When other parents give advice, they are, with the best intentions, almost always speaking from their own very subjective experience (and most have enough sense to recognise this). And although their tips at times are so useful, more often that advice is only relevant to someone else's child/ situation/ values. (But I still enjoy a good yarn and am fascinated by others' experiences and ideas, hence me finding this forum so addictive!) So, although I am not a Gina Ford fan necessarily, I don't think it's fair or logical to write off her advice on the basis she's not a mother. There are some amazing midwives out there who have never had kids, for instance....